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Earlier this week I got jacked off that I’ve been sick since I came home from Thailand. Actually I was sick in Thailand too, on and off and just a little bit. I think coming from that very warm and relaxed environment to the cold and chilly environs of Melbourne made things 100x times worse.

Today I took myself to see my acupuncturist. I haven’t been to see him before now, because at first I thought this was just an ordinary cold. Also money is tight, and I don’t have a car now so getting around isn’t as easy. But once I got my second and more disgusting ear infection, and I realised I was STILL sick, I’d had enough.

So, braving the chilly day here (what is it with Melbourne weather anyway, bloody sunshiny and gorgeous one day and fucking freezing the next!!??!!) I took a bus, then a train. Then realised I got off the train a stop too soon and walked the rest of the way. And finally arrived at my acupuncturist’s offices.

He’s a funny guy my acupuncture dude. He couldn’t look less like a practitioner of Chinese Medicine if he tried, but he’s incredibly good. Think Greek and very woggy looking and sounding and you have it. Thick gold jewellery, hair with a minor oil slick. That’s my man.

But he’s very knowledgeable and talented. Most TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctors will take your pulse, look at your tongue and your eyes. But my dude, he also reads palms. And in ways not discernable to my eyes, he uses my palms to tell me things about myself. Accurate things. So I like my Greek TCM guy.

Today he says oh you’ve got a lot of cold in your body created by wind. But its also creating some heat in your spleen. Not good. We’ve gotta draw that out. Well otherwise you’re looking good. I can see you’ve lost weight. Your emotions are doing much better too. Don’t worry, we’ll sort this out. Those doctors don’t know what they’re on about, pumping you full of antibiotics and hoping for the best. You’ve gotta get to the cause of the problem. There’s damp in your guts and a virus has taken up residence. We have to kick him out. Its causing stagnation and that’s why you’re not getting any better. Don’t worry, we’ll get him.

He uses the cups first, these funny little bubble shaped glass contraptions which are heated and placed strategically all over my back. Then I flip over and he attacks my abdomen with the cups, sticks a needle in my left leg near my knee, in my right leg near my ankle, in my right hand near my thumb and two in my ear.

Apparently the needles are to support the spleen, help clear the way for more nutrients from my food to get into my system and… I’m not sure what the rest were now.

He talks to me about the tattoo I got in Thailand (must post about that here!), and is excited to hear about the process. And Thailand. He must like places like Thailand because his rooms are like a furnace, so warm I have to strip my outer layers off the moment I get in there. And little beads of sweat form on my upper lip.

At least it’s cosy when I take half my clothes off for this treatment.

He prescribes some herbs. You’re all run down he says. We have to get this ear sorted out and then in a few weeks we need to build you up again. Get your immune system functional.

Right on!

As I’m leaving, he’s busy telling me to rug up, approving of my huge scarf but where’s my beanie, I should have a beanie. Chat chat chat like a little old lady.

Heading to the station I think of that word – stagnation – and that’s a pretty good summary of life since I came back here. Thing is, I’m not sure what to do about it.

I didn’t get that job I really wanted. Oh, it was a tough decision, you’re really great, got lots of experience and our shortlist was longer than we expected. We’d like to keep you in the loop as we keep growing… yeah sure, except that you and I both know that aint gonna happen.

So whilst I do have enough money at the moment to keep me going, I’m getting a little worried now. Usually, when I’m following the flow I’m meant to be following, things happen easily. Like when I originally moved from Sydney back to Melbourne and it was jobs galore on offer and I got the one I wanted lickety split.

And when I was deciding to quit that job and pack everything in, it all seemed to be the right thing to do. Jobs in Melbourne for the line of work I’m in seemed to be plentiful. But not now.

Now, I’m stuck living in one of the most out of the way places, with my parents who don’t really want me here messing up their routine lives, with no car, no job and a dwindling bank balance. And ofcourse, I’ve pretty much been sick in one way or another for five weeks now.

I just don’t get it. I mean, I’m learning alot about myself and what I want, what makes me happy. But I’m limited in what I can do because of my current circumstances. I’m working real hard to get a job and good lord – anyone should be delighted to have me. I’m a geek/new media junkie/creative type etc. I’m passionate about my work and damn it, I’m good.

But still, it seems it’s all stagnated. And I don’t know what the key is to unlock this current stasis…