Tags
Depression, Happiness, Homa, Mudra, PTSD, Reincarnation, Retreat, Sanskrit, Thailand, Yagya, Yoga
Feels like an absolute age since I wrote a post, but actually it’s only been a week (didya miss me or what?).
I’m finally back home after a very wonderful break. Got in last night, actually.
And I realised, last week was the first time I’ve actually stopped doing stuff (non-stop) for six months – since I got back from Thailand.
There was the Great Job Hunt for a couple of months there… then a month of schlepping a long distance commute once I actually had a job (bus plus two trains) to work every day, from my parents’ place in Suburbia-Urbia to the city.
Then there was the house hunt, then moving, Christmas, unpacking for a good two months and finally… a week of bliss, hanging with some of my very good friends, studying things I like studying. Ahhhhh…
There, in a large double story house in western Sydney, we had little to do but hang out together, focus on our studies, meditate, do yoga, cook, eat and swim. Very relaxing…
Did I mention I was surrounded by people who love me? People who’ve known me for years, fellow students of my Guru? [grins]
So, besides relaxing, what did I accomplish? Well…
- I’m now confident, when faced with a page full of transliterated Sanskrit, that I can pronounce (most of) what I see. I can break it down, sound it out and figure out how it goes together. I can work out the meter it’s chanted in too, for the most part. I even know the meaning of a bunch of said Sanskrit words.
- I can perform puja with sixteen upacaras (offerings). I’m not 100% brilliant yet… but well on the way.
- Not to mention yagyas/homas (fire ceremony) – especially with my brilliant new sruk and srva (offering implements) carved from Jack fruit and all the way from Bali (brought back by one of my friends). They’re cool – the sruk is ‘female’ and the srva is ‘male’ (photos to come).
- Oh! And you should see my mudras (ritual hand gestures)! I mean, really!! We learned around twenty or so… and lemme tell ya, it aint easy. Fingers are generally pretty stiff (mudras are yoga for fingers) and given my entirely undiagnosed dyslexia… well, when you’re trying to work out which finger connects with another… hmmm, it can be challenging. But by the last day, I’d finally conquered ‘denhu’ mudra (cow mudra) – the most complex of the lot!
And before you ask, photos of mudras will be later this week…
Now, for the news!
Then, while I was up there, only logging on once a day or so to check emails… I got the email I’d been waiting for.
I was accepted into a certificate level Hatha Yoga Practitioner training course!
Hooray!!
The course can be done as a one year certificate, but it’s also the first year of a two year Advanced Yoga Teacher Training course.
So, it’s a step towards my goal of attaining yoga teacher qualifications, which is important in a number of ways.
Ideally I want out of working in my current industry. Actually, I’d be happy if I could do that part-time and then teach yoga and belly dancing part-time as well.
There was a time, many years ago now… where I made a decision. I abandoned my hippie/arty lifestyle in favour of earning some decent money. I’d struggled on not much money for a long time and bit the bullet.
It was the beginning of working in the corporate world. A place I never felt very comfortable, but which afforded me all kinds of opportunities – study, travel, and finding my way into my current line of work.
I’m part way there, having left the realm of the corporate world (with no plans to return); I’m now working in small business as a consultant.
But having emerged from the worst (I hope so anyway) of my depression and the deathly grip of PTSD flashbacks… I want to make another choice.
Happiness.
I want happiness. I want to do work that speaks to my heart and soul, and that’s aligned with my spiritual path. I want to love my job, not just like or tolerate it.
Because I’m tired. Of doing things for other people, putting my own needs second to other things and people. Y’see, if I’m happy, then I can serve others so much better!
Life isn’t meant to be so hard. We create our own suffering, feeling we ‘have’ to do certain things. Because society, family or friends expect us to. Because we’re told that’s how life is.
Well, I say screw that.
My theme for 2009 (if I had such a thing, and I don’t really) is something like taking the reins. Taking control, cutting through the bullshit, and bringing more peace and joy into my life.
Coz damn, regardless of whether there’s such a thing as reincarnation, we only ever live one life at a time.
I’m determined to be of service to others, to bring my external and internal worlds into alignment.
And regardless of whether anyone else is, I’m planning on being proud of the life I’ve led…
~Svasti
Well good for you! You go for it!
As a therapist and Zen practitioner, I am doing exactly what I love to do in life. It is sort of like serving others whilst serving self, which is part of the whole anyway.
Reincarnation or no reincarnation, the past is gone and is no more – therefore an illusion. The future is not yet – therefore an illusion. We have the moment of now and the more we can get into that “now” experience, the more empowered we are to serve all… π Derek
Sounds great to me. I wish you success sooner rather than later. I don’t doubt you will attain what you have set your sights on. (And yes, you were missed. Seems you were gone a month at least.)
I just found your blog and really liked the comment you wrote, “I want happiness. I want to do work that speaks to my heart and soul, and thatβs aligned with my spiritual path. I want to love my job, not just like or tolerate it.”
I want the same things, and I truly hope that you obtain that.
You deserve happiness, and regardless of whether or not there’s reincarnation, you’re bringing a lot of light into this one for those fortunate enough to know you. You have every reason to be proud of the life you’ve lived, and screw anybody who tells you otherwise.
And yes, I’m being serious…beautifully written post, too…..
Svasti, darlin’–you know we missed you! It sounds as though you really learned a lot. These will be great tools for you because the more you know, the more you can help others. And there are plenty of people who do need your help.
Welcome back–I checked in on your blog a few times wondering where you had been! I have also been checking in on CC–but she is not back yet. Please send some positive energy her way, as I am doing.
Take care,
Melinda
Congratulations Svasti, I wish you true happiness! I believe security comes first and happiness is a byproduct of that security–so I wish you both π
Sounds like you had a full and rich week, exercising your brain, feeding your soul and replenishing your spirit.
I’m all for following your Bliss. I particularly resonated with this: Iβm determined to be of service to others, to bring my external and internal worlds into alignment. Amen to that! Beautifully said.
@Derek – Thank you! Its true, there is only this moment, then this one, then this one… y’know! π
@tricia – And I wish you sucess also! I missed ‘talking’ with all my blog friends, too.
@Emma – Thanks for dropping by! I’m glad you like those words. I do as well. I hope you also achieve what you desire.
@Jay – Everyone deserves happiness! Its just whether or not we’ll allow ourselves to really be happy. Often, we say its what we want but we cut ourselves down at every turn in some way. Thanks as always for your lovely compliments, darlin’…
@Melinda – Thanks! I did mention a post or two ago I was gonna be away, but then I wrote other stuff. Whoops! But its nice of you to stop by so often anyway!
Yes, I’ve been thinking of CC and sending her love. I very much hope she is healing swiftly.
@Bobby – Well, I don’t know if security *must* come first, although that’s often the case. But happiness can come from stripping back all the crap we live with, and getting a good understanding of your essential nature. A by-product might be ‘security’ but I think in and of itself, security can be another crutch in some ways…
@earthmother – Yes, I did! And that’s something we should all try to do for ourselves. I think we’d have a much happier world if we did so.
wow… does THAT ever sound familiar! π
… and much Congrats on the news!
@Victor – hey thanks! I’m going to do my first yoga class there next week, and meet the people running the course etc. Soooo exciting! π
Hey Svasti,
that is awesome, wonderful, fantastic news!! When I read the post, the lightness of being, the I-am-ness came straight to me and to my heart. I’m writing with tears in my eyes – cos there is happiness and here-ness.
I’ll email you and let you know where I’m at – I’ve been up in Darwin being Ms Research Manager, (and feeling fat, flabby and sorry for myself cos of puppy dogs that bite), so I’ve not been into posting much.
lotsa blessings
svasti, this is such an awesome, beautiful post! it is also filled with joyful strength! so true what you say about happiness — it is only when we can love ourselves unconditionally that we can then love others. and hey, even tho I teach yoga, I still have a ways to go….on loving myself….;)
I have a blog post rolling around in my head similar to your comments about happiness which I’ll write in a few days…
peace
shanti
a-salaam aleikum
so shall it be…..
L
p.s.
and congrats on the acceptance!
It sounds wonderful, Svasti. *hugs*
Congrats on everything.
Wow! Those are some amazing accomplishments! Good for you! Congratulations!
Svasti–I have a mind like a sieve π I think I do remember your writing you were going away.
I blame all the drugs! A convenient excuse!
Take care,
Melinda
@rebeccadmd (Amanda) – Had to think for a minute before realising who wrote this comment! Don’t feel sorry for yourself – the doggy misdemenours that cause you to feel so blah will heal. π
@lindasama – why thanks! Thing is, everyone always has a ways to go, that’s life as a human being. Looking forward to your next post. Come to think of it… I really should have another one up and running (couple more days).
@Immi – yay, thanks!
@Jaleesa – good to hear from you!!
@Jane Doe – well I dunno about amazing but its good to feel like I’ve achieved some cool stuff.
@Melinda – me too, I’ve a terrible memory. Easy to forget when its not the most recent post. π
I loved this post…..you’re so right about doing things for happiness not money or others. I’m happy for you. I have decided that this year will be my year to set things straight in my life. I have finally decided to cut ties with all things that are not condusive to my mental health or my life.
My accident last week did somethig to me. I really thougth I was going to never rise from that floor. Thank-you for your words on my blog. Svasti have you ever thought that maybe this isn’t what your supposd to be doing? I have gone through a huge depression but i think that I’m stilll not finished with it or it’s still holding me hostage…or I’m letting it…..mmm I hate to feel tangled but I am.
I feel like my life is standing still because it’s what I have chosen to do but last week while laying there, still not able to move or talk I had a moment of clarity of peace come over me. I have to live whatever it is that is calling me.
Take Good Care
JB
I missed you! I hadn’t realised how twitter dependant on you I had become π
This is fantastic news!
I know I came to your blog rather late on your recent journeys, but I am genuinely chuffed to bits for you π
Hello Svasti,
Nice Page.
@Thangka Paintings – Why thanks! I’m a fan of your site, too π