Feels like an absolute age since I wrote a post, but actually it’s only been a week (didya miss me or what?).
I’m finally back home after a very wonderful break. Got in last night, actually.
And I realised, last week was the first time I’ve actually stopped doing stuff (non-stop) for six months – since I got back from Thailand.
There was the Great Job Hunt for a couple of months there… then a month of schlepping a long distance commute once I actually had a job (bus plus two trains) to work every day, from my parents’ place in Suburbia-Urbia to the city.
Then there was the house hunt, then moving, Christmas, unpacking for a good two months and finally… a week of bliss, hanging with some of my very good friends, studying things I like studying. Ahhhhh…
There, in a large double story house in western Sydney, we had little to do but hang out together, focus on our studies, meditate, do yoga, cook, eat and swim. Very relaxing…
Did I mention I was surrounded by people who love me? People who’ve known me for years, fellow students of my Guru? [grins]
So, besides relaxing, what did I accomplish? Well…
- I’m now confident, when faced with a page full of transliterated Sanskrit, that I can pronounce (most of) what I see. I can break it down, sound it out and figure out how it goes together. I can work out the meter it’s chanted in too, for the most part. I even know the meaning of a bunch of said Sanskrit words.
- I can perform puja with sixteen upacaras (offerings). I’m not 100% brilliant yet… but well on the way.
- Not to mention yagyas/homas (fire ceremony) – especially with my brilliant new sruk and srva (offering implements) carved from Jack fruit and all the way from Bali (brought back by one of my friends). They’re cool – the sruk is ‘female’ and the srva is ‘male’ (photos to come).
- Oh! And you should see my mudras (ritual hand gestures)! I mean, really!! We learned around twenty or so… and lemme tell ya, it aint easy. Fingers are generally pretty stiff (mudras are yoga for fingers) and given my entirely undiagnosed dyslexia… well, when you’re trying to work out which finger connects with another… hmmm, it can be challenging. But by the last day, I’d finally conquered ‘denhu’ mudra (cow mudra) – the most complex of the lot!
And before you ask, photos of mudras will be later this week…
Now, for the news!
Then, while I was up there, only logging on once a day or so to check emails… I got the email I’d been waiting for.
I was accepted into a certificate level Hatha Yoga Practitioner training course!
The course can be done as a one year certificate, but it’s also the first year of a two year Advanced Yoga Teacher Training course.
So, it’s a step towards my goal of attaining yoga teacher qualifications, which is important in a number of ways.
Ideally I want out of working in my current industry. Actually, I’d be happy if I could do that part-time and then teach yoga and belly dancing part-time as well.
There was a time, many years ago now… where I made a decision. I abandoned my hippie/arty lifestyle in favour of earning some decent money. I’d struggled on not much money for a long time and bit the bullet.
It was the beginning of working in the corporate world. A place I never felt very comfortable, but which afforded me all kinds of opportunities – study, travel, and finding my way into my current line of work.
I’m part way there, having left the realm of the corporate world (with no plans to return); I’m now working in small business as a consultant.
But having emerged from the worst (I hope so anyway) of my depression and the deathly grip of PTSD flashbacks… I want to make another choice.
I want happiness. I want to do work that speaks to my heart and soul, and that’s aligned with my spiritual path. I want to love my job, not just like or tolerate it.
Because I’m tired. Of doing things for other people, putting my own needs second to other things and people. Y’see, if I’m happy, then I can serve others so much better!
Life isn’t meant to be so hard. We create our own suffering, feeling we ‘have’ to do certain things. Because society, family or friends expect us to. Because we’re told that’s how life is.
Well, I say screw that.
My theme for 2009 (if I had such a thing, and I don’t really) is something like taking the reins. Taking control, cutting through the bullshit, and bringing more peace and joy into my life.
Coz damn, regardless of whether there’s such a thing as reincarnation, we only ever live one life at a time.
I’m determined to be of service to others, to bring my external and internal worlds into alignment.
And regardless of whether anyone else is, I’m planning on being proud of the life I’ve led…