Tags
Anger, Confusion, Debutant, First time, History, Lost, Marvin Gaye, Relationships, Sexual Healing, Stripper, Stripping
When she finally said yes, it wasn’t much of a decision to make.
After all, she was most of the way there already.
Angry, confused and reckless. Just eighteen, and not quite moved out of home yet.
It’s not like she spent a lot of time thinking things through.
She just said okay, I’ll do it. Then, she had to think about how, exactly. Covertly and perversely, selecting music from her parents’ limited and old-fashioned music library. Kinda lame really.
Then, the final steps were so mundane.
Surroundings were familiar. So were the people. The location. The activity. The beer.
Except that, someone stole her favourite t-shirt. Although everyone knew the culprit, she never did get it back. It’s probably the most prominent memory of that day.
But really, it really wasn’t so hard to do. Not physically or emotionally. Most of that was… numb, anyway. Not that she knew it right then.
She didn’t have to imagine herself elsewhere, either. Everyone in the pub was a familiar face, wanting her to do well. She wasn’t even nervous, really. There was no shame. No fear. Just… why not?
The day she crossed over from working as a topless barmaid to a stripper.
Dancing to Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing. Ironically.
Cue music. Move seductively, wearing white high heels purchased for her debutant ball just a couple of years ago. Eyeball the very familiar punters. Slowly remove prissy lingerie.
Til it was done.
But how did she get there? She couldn’t have told you then. Perhaps she can now…
~Svasti
Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness 
Oh my dear . . . I’m breathless to hear the rest, but it feels like we’re going to fall into a very dark place now.
That is very provocative story-telling, Svasti. Except it doesn’t seem to be a simple teasing tale. I sense this is the first time that the first time has been written about (excellently, I might add).
I have read this post several times now because I sense this isn’t really the straightforward post is seems on first reading. What a very complicated young woman you are Svasti. Your present audience wants you to do well now, just as your audience then wanted you to do well. How much more important this success is. You keep going forward because you are going to get where you finally need to be– and we will be cheering for you every step of the way.
You said so much without saying much at all. Your words are powerful and truthful. Keep pressing on…
Tell us…
@Michelle Tackabery – Maybe a little dark. Yeah… that’s possible!
@Lydia – Very perceptive of you. Its funny how these things come out sometimes. I don’t usually write in the third person!
@tricia – The question sometimes, is where to begin and what to say in the beginning. That’s probably why this piece doesn’t feel very straightforward… and now I have to figure out the next part of the story. Its not entirely clear right now. And, everyone is complex! 😉
@shattered – Thank you. I am… just waiting for the next piece to slide into place.
@Christa – I will, I promise.
This is so interesting, Svasti–because I was just rewriting the part of my book where I decided to become a stripper (in my early twenties). I still remember the first song I stripped to–it was Suffragette City by David Bowie (I always was a hard rocker). I always liked Marvin Gaye’s song, “Sexual Healing” and in fact, I saw him in New York City just a couple of years before he died so tragically.
This one left me breathless to hear more!
Melinda
Oops! Darn it–I always like to subscribe to comments and I forgot! So, that’s why I am posting again. 🙂
I’m in an airhead state of mind, I’m afraid!
Melinda
@Melinda – Ah, tandem writing! 😉
More is coming, once it works its way to the surface…