Lessons from Bali

Tags

abundance, alone time, Bali, bleeding heart, Cafe Lotus, can't always get what you want, Celestine Prophecy, coincidences, Generosity, lessons, new friend, pragmatism, Ubud, Yoga

In some ways, I didn’t get what I was hoping for from my trip.

Don’t get me wrong – going to Bali for my birthday was awesome.

But I’ve since worked out that mostly, what I really wanted was some alone time.

Instead, on my first full day there I found a new friend. Perhaps… I got what I needed instead?

She’d also arrived the day before, from England. We were staying at the same guest house and met over breakfast. How classically clichéd! The more we talked, the more we realised how much we had in common. Fancy that.

Both there to do yoga. Both had the same camera, and similar back-story as to why we had this cheap and cheerful new piece of tech. Both with similar ideas about our trip. We did a couple of things together on purpose, but would then run into each other out and about in Ubud.

Before long we were planning activities together – yoga classes, sightseeing, massages, and my new friend even joined my birthday celebrations (a half-day tour and then later, dinner in Ubud at Cafe Lotus).

It could’ve all been very single white female, and yet it wasn’t. She’s super-nice. 🙂

Having recently re-read The Celestine Prophecy (which my travel buddy actually had with her on the trip!), I started to wonder about the myriad of “coincidences” that brought us into each other’s world.

Rather more prosaically, she claimed that of course we’d end up in the same place and liking the same things. I didn’t quite agree – we could’ve easily disliked each other, a mutual love of yoga or no.

Like I’ve written already, I don’t really believe in coincidences.

So I stayed open to finding out what sort of lessons we could learn from each other.

For me it was… that I’m an ultimate bleeding heart. Which I really knew anyway, of course. But I still need to create a few boundaries for myself (doh!) in order not to be a complete push-over when my heart gets involved.

Going to places like Bali and Thailand are especially challenging for people like me, because I want to help everyone I see.

Even though I don’t have huge amounts of money, I go to Bali and I’m perceived as rich. This is particularly hard for me to deal with. So I tip a lot and don’t haggle much when shopping.

Hanging with my new friend taught me a little more pragmatism. This is something I’m going to need when I eventually get to India, I’m sure.

For her… and perhaps this is slightly presumptuous, but I think she learned a little more about generosity. By her own admission, she’s “tight” with her money. She was often bug eyed about my tipping habits, and furious at local scams to try and separate us from even more of our hard-earned.

So one night over dinner, I explained why I do what I do – my personal philosophy on abundance. The lessons I learned while being unemployed while doing my yoga teacher training, and how that changed my views on giving.

How I used to be stingy, but now I see money as energy. Something we can exchange, and how that keeps the flow energy moving around the world.

That we don’t create abundance by holding onto everything we’ve got as tightly as possible, but by sharing and showing loving kindness to others.

That trusting in abundance enabled me to be supported by lovely people, find a job before Christmas and still go to Bali, when I’d expecteded things to be tight.

I think… we balanced each other out a little. And it was nice.

There’s more – I learned a lot from the yoga classes I went to as well. I’m still reflecting about those lessons, so look for another post some time soon.

But the alone time I craved? Didn’t really happen as much as I needed.

You’d think that for someone who lives alone anyway and doesn’t do heaps and heaps of socialising, that wouldn’t be a problem.

Still, I’d like to be away from my usual environment. Somewhere beautiful and isolated where I can really get stuck into my writing.

I did get some writing in whilst in Bali, but not enough. However, my holiday certainly revived my creative inspiration!

So anyway… looks like that’ll have to happen another time soon. Maybe a weekend escape in early 2012?

For now, I’m happy that I made a new friend and (re-)learned a few more life lessons.

~ Svasti

Bali…

Tags

asuras, Bali, flow, imperfectness, jungle, monkeys, Motorbikes, motorcycles, Offerings, sacred, Sacred Monkey Forest, scooters, temples, Ubud, Yoga

Is where the sacred comes hand-in-hand with treacherous and undulating footpaths dotted with gappy loose-hinged drains.

Walkways are covered in Hindu offerings for luck and abundance, animal excrement, the bodies of dead creatures (most likely road kill), trash, incense and a never-ending parade of men offering innumerable variations of:
Hey-lllooooowwww Madaaammmm! Taxi, yeeesssss? Tomorrow, yeeesssss?

Road rage and road rules seem to be minimal, though. Scooters and motorbikes outnumber cars, trucks and buses in some parts of town and weave in between each other alarmingly. Right/wrong side of the road be damned.

There’s plenty of horn tooting but its aggression-less. More – hello, do you see me – rather than – f#&k you!!

Between one and four people ride on two-wheeled vehicles, often with at least one rider glued to a mobile phone. Sometimes it’s the driver. Or one or two people carrying over-sized cargo: water flagons, bushels of coconuts, building materials. Occasionally the goods are bigger than the bike. And yet… there are relatively few bike accidents.

To me, Bali looks like unadulterated life. In the west, we like all the Ugly and Broken Things to be hidden. We pretend that everything is perfect by creating the illusion of order. In Bali almost every man-made object shows signs of decay.

Street cleaning is undertaken by shop-owners with hand-made switches, perhaps woven from palm or coconut trees. The never-ending run of downpours washes everything else away in the end.

Westerners flock to the island for yoga, partying and diving, but you won’t find many locals indulging in such recreations. I love Bali furiously, even with its bad smells and over-zealous touts and yet… I’m somewhat uncomfortable that most of the things I’m doing there are unattainable for many of Bali’s residents.

Five years after my first visit, Bali is doing somewhat better economically-speaking. Back then, so soon after the terrorist bombings tourists were sparse and businesses were desperate.

Now, there’s free wi-fi almost everywhere but much less honesty in commercial interactions. I’m pretty sure that the tourist prices have gone up considerably. You need to put some effort into bargaining in order not to be completely ripped off. Yet… things are still relatively cheap, although the price between what you’d pay at home and in Bali has narrowed. So it’s hard – for me anyway – to haggle too much.

Despite all of this, Bali is a place where stillness can be found. Where waking up before dawn comes naturally to me and where ducks can be observed in the rice paddies (they eat the rice paddy pests!).

The overwhelming heat and humidity also teach me to move and act more naturally – do a little bit and then rest. Move then rest. Eat then rest. Etc.

Nature has not been corralled into neat little concrete boxes as it has in the west. The jungle still rules, and barely tolerates any attempt at civilisation.

Occasionally, wild things happen there, too.

Like visiting the Sacred Monkey Forest and interacting with knee-high grey monkeys with their little hands that tug on your pants to demand another banana. All business-like. The signs warn not to touch the little cuties although what can be done when a curious one curls up next to you while you sit on a low stone wall? Even though you’ve no bananas left (he’s checked), he still hangs with you.

And then mind-blowingly, he uses your left knee as a perch. Tail swinging. In some ways, it’s almost like having a cat sitting there except it’s NOT anything like a cat.

It’s a wild monkey.

In Bali.

It’s magical. Even if you’re too stunned/laughing too hard to get a photo. Memories like that don’t fade.

Every home has its own temple, as well as public temples on every other street corner. Right along with the dogs.

You can also visit said sacred temples only to be lambasted by touts pretending to be temple workers. Lying to you about the access that your entry ticket allows you without a “local guide”.

The temple is sacred but apparently you’re fair game.

This is not so magical unless you allow for the magic anyway.

But it is the nature of Everything Not Being Perfect.

You can get angry about it or you can go with the flow.

The flow is always easier.

~ Svasti

Forty pieces of silver – part 2

Tags

40th birthday, Learnings, life lessons, Wisdom

Stairs and flowers - the adornment of every day items is rife in Bali. And wonderful.

A little delayed, but finally here’s 21-40.

Perhaps a lot of this stuff is very obvious to you. But I’ve reason to believe that for others, that’s not the case. For me, anything I can offer that might benefit another person is a worthy task.

Even if you’re only reminded of your own learnings, then this list is useful.

But just maybe, there’s something new here for you. Or something that inspires your own inner reflections.

Blessings to everyone!

[Read 1 – 20 here]

21. Sensitivity is not a negative trait – instead, it’s helpful information to ensure you’re doing the best thing for yourself. Sure it has its pros and cons but overall, being sensitive to life will mean you’re being true to yourself.

22. Learn to dance. Even if you think you have two left feet. Dancing brings love, life and joy into your body. It also creates awareness between your physical self and your mind. Which is endlessly important.

23. We all need to learn surrender. To ourselves. Against our struggles. Because surrender is the pre-cursor to Grace.

24. Learn to sing. Even if you think you can’t. Sing from the heart with beautiful words. Personally, I love kirtan but whatever works for you. Signing opens your heart chakra and is healing for body, mind and soul. Also, the more your sing, the more you will be able to sing. True story.

25. Keep practicing. Recently I’ve been teaching my 4.5 year old niece how to do somersaults. Every time she does one she shows improvement. So she tells me that she’ll keep on practicing. This is how we learn to be skilled at anything, which is something we forget with age.

26. Examine and shake up your patterns. Often, our anxieties and fears are linked to the way we live our lives as opposed to who we are. Sometimes we forget there’s a difference.

27. Be generous with your time, money and possessions. Western culture is very “me/mine”. This sort of thinking intimates that if we give to others, we won’t have enough for ourselves. But Abundance actually comes from generosity. Because being generous keeps the flow of energy moving. At first this seems anti-intuitive but it’s one of the truest things I know.

28. Fear is not meant to stop you from taking action, even though stopping is generally the first response we have. But fear is just information, meant to help us figure out our next steps.

29. Take a completely solo travel trip at least once in your lifetime. If you dare. Initially it’s a very scary thing to do but it’ll change your world.

30. Explore your opposites. If you’re always a bit of a push-over, try being more hard-nosed. If you’re always angry, try greeting everyone with love and a smile. Without a doubt you’ll learn something about yourself.

31. If you sensibilities don’t match the culture you were born into, don’t worry. There are plenty of us who are in the same boat, because there isn’t just one style of living or way of life for everyone. Choosing differently from your family, friends or society does not make you less successful or valuable than anyone else. Translation: you don’t have to get married, have a mortgage, kids and two dogs in order to be “okay”.

32. You won’t always get what you need from other people. Even those who are “meant” to be there for us. It’s far better to develop your own capacity for self-nurturing and self-love. That way, you’ll never be without the things you need.

33. Friends will disappoint you. But usually, the disappointment comes from having expectations of their behaviour or actions in the first place. In other words – our own thoughts on what we think other people should do. How crazy is that when you break it down? Loving your friends/family without expectations means they can never disappoint you.

34. Bad things, terrible things happen to all kinds of people. Maybe even to you. They truly suck beyond belief. But honestly, none of it means anything about your personality, your self-worth, who you are OR who you can be.

35. There really are no coincidences in the world. Just a flow of the energy of life. If you’re working with that flow, lots of things start to look like coincidences.

36. If the life you’re living isn’t making you happy, work out what will. Then make plans to work towards that life. It’ll be worth it.

37. Both the mind and body need to be kept flexible. Do yoga asana for the body and meditation for the mind. Without both of these things, our world grows smaller and more uncomfortable with age. Without flexibility, change becomes difficult and negativity becomes predominant. Our happiness depends on the flexibility of both.

38. Self-sacrifice for others is not always anyone’s best interests, no matter how duty-bound you feel. Before we can help others, we really do need to help and support ourselves. This has to be a regular activity and not just a one-off.

39. Even if you don’t think you’re a writer, write your stories. Don’t worry about how it sounds. Just write it anyway. You don’t have to show anyone if you don’t want to (this is called journaling). But write it out. It’s the cheapest form of self-expression/therapy around.

40. Finally, what he said. Because he says it so well, and I completely agree:

As before, feel free to share any of your own wisdom below!

~ Svasti x

Back home + birthday present winners!

Tags

Bali, happy birthday, present winners

Clearly I didn’t get around to any “live from Ubud” posts, huh? Although I did insert a couple of Bali photos in my scheduled/written earlier posts. 😉

Bali was as always… Stunning. Contradictory. Sacred. Profane. Steamy. Charming. Cultural. Hindu. Relaxing.

And so much more.

Luckily, I don’t have to be at work until mid-next week, so I’ve plenty of time to consolidate my time there with my day-to-day life. I’ll talk more about it all soon.

Birthday presents from me to you

For now, I’m just going to tell you who’s getting a birthday present from me for my birthday.

There were only nine commenters and there are three presents. So everyone was in with a good chance!

I didn’t make a video this time. I’m too relaxed to do that. Hehe. But I swear to you, winners and prizes were drawn with complete honesty and integrity.

So here’s the names…

The names in the hat…

And the three winners! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And oh, the presents? I also did a lucky dip for who gets what and this is how it played out…

Anna G-J gets the lovely Virtue Cards, from the Brahma Kumaris. Okay, not really Balinese, I know. But I love them so much I got myself a set, too.

J. Brown gets the rudraksha wrist mala! It’s more of a bracelet since it only has 18 beads (17 rudraksha and 1 stone) and the cord is re-sizable so it should fit most wrists.

Rachel gets the funky prayer flags (but not the other stuff in the pic, okay Rach?)

Congrats everyone, and I hope you enjoy. Happy birthday!!

I’ll get in touch via email to grab your postal addresses and send you your presents.

~Svasti xxx

Forty pieces of silver – part 1

Tags

40th birthday, life learnings, Wisdom

As promised, the following represents a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve learned over the years. Forty of them, in fact. One for each year I’ve been alive, although I probably learned most of them in the last ten years.

It seems one’s 30’s are about the getting of wisdom. So I’m guessing the 40’s are when that wisdom is consolidated…

Most often I learned these things the hard way, which seems to be just how it is in my life. 😉

Here’s 1-20, with 21-40 being posted in another day or so…

1. We all know there’s no handbook to this thing called life. But it’s not until you start hitting your late 30’s that you really, really wish there was.
2. If you know what you want to do when you grow up, then you’re fortunate. Pretty much most of us don’t and feel awkward and weird about it for the longest time. If only we realised how many others were in the same boat, maybe we’d be more okay with it.
3. Don’t choose a career just for the money. Find what you love and go for that with all of your heart. Honestly, I think it’s the only way to avoid the pitfalls of modern life, which is hard enough!
4. Take time out of your life and your own problems to help other people. Do volunteer work of some kind. Donate money or clothes to people in need. It will help put the world and your place in it, into perspective.
5. Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe, we’re all interconnected. Truly. Our molecules are the same as those found in outer space and the air you breathe has been inhaled by everyone else. We are water, space, fire, ether and air. We are no different from mountains or comets or oceans or ants. Everything is a part of the whole.
6. Never ever take anything on face value. Which is not to say you shouldn’t trust people, but always question and confirm what others tell you, for yourself.
7. Life must be experienced directly and first-hand. Advice can be useful, but ultimately your experiences of being alive are unique to you. So go out there and have them.
8. Most of what we call life is a series of perceptions layered with our projected meanings and ideas. Very rarely do we know what’s really going on. This is one of the main reasons I do yoga – to strip away the filters and stores so that I have a clearer view of reality as it really is. Which often has no bearing on what we assume it is!
9. Be stubborn. Don’t back down when there’s something you really want. The reason I think I’ve managed to heal myself from PTSD and depression is because I refused to believe that I couldn’t. I’m applying that same principal to healing my thyroid condition. I don’t know how successful I’ll be with that, but I’m certainly much healthier than I was when I was first diagnosed.
10. However, balance your stubbornness with self-reflection (you mightn’t always be right), softness and sometimes even yielding (even when you’re sure you are right).
11. But also, be curious about yourself (I borrowed this one from Kerry). Get to know yourself, the way you’d get to know a friend. Find out what makes you tick.
12. Be truthful with yourself, always. In your yoga practice, and in your life. In yoga, this means you’ll happily accept where you’re at without pushing and forcing (and possibly causing yourself an injury). In life, it means always making the best decisions for yourself.
13. Allowing your life to be dictated by fear or anger makes for a very small world. I know beautiful and brave people who suffer anxiety, PTSD and other mental health conditions that make normal life really hard. But they find ways to keep living anyway.
14. Never get involved with someone unless you’re genuinely interested in them. And not just because the sex is good. It isn’t in your best interest, nor theirs. It never turns out well and sometimes it can turn out really badly. Read some of the archives of this blog if you don’t believe me.
15. There are endless layers to everything, contrary to the Hollywood version of life. The healing of grief, pain, trauma, anger etc… there’s no magic pill. Just when you think you’ve worked through it all, there’s more. Keep going.
16. Clichéd as it sounds, you will be happiest when you can accept yourself as you are – perceived warts and all. Although not the STD kind of warts. Go see your doctor about those. 😉
17. All those things you think you need to hide from the world – they are your strengths. Be okay with being vulnerable and imperfect. Everyone else is, too.
18. If anyone ever tells you that you’re too sensitive, giggle and explain that that isn’t it. Actually, it’s just that you’re just more sensitive than most people and you were born that way.
19. Actually, if someone ever tells you that there’s ANYthing wrong with you, give them the same kind of response. Lady Gaga got it right! Baby, you were born this way!
20. You never really lose touch with your inner child, you just forget about them a bit. Remembering is important. Make friends with Mini-You. She/he will tell you all of your secrets. Honouring Mini-You will bring you happiness. Promise.

[Read 21 – 40 here]

~Svasti

P.S. Feel free to share some of your own hard-earned wisdom!

Turning 4-0 and positively Hobbit-like

Tags

Bali, Beauty, Birthday, Forty pieces of silver, freedom from suffering, Happiness, hobbits, LoveX massage, Middle Earth, pampering, peace, spa day

[Note: this is a scheduled post]

Hopefully today I’m nowhere near a computer at all.

For shortly after midnight on AEDST (Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time), I turn 40: the milestone many people either loathe or love.

Personally, I’m down with it all. Maybe its because I’ve already been through all sorts of life-upending crises, so I don’t need a mid-life one to shake things up.

If everything is going according to plan (like the rest of this trip to date), today will be spent doing yoga, meditating, having a wonderful breakfast, indulging in an Ubud-style spa day, writing and then whatever takes my fancy. I intend to partake of beauty, inner reflections, nature, pampering and good food, while immersed in the magic that is Ubud.

To celebrate I’ve got a couple of things for y’all.

First up…

I’m making like a hobbit from Middle Earth! But no, it’s got nothing to do with large hairy feet. In fact, mine are all nicely buffed and polished right now.

Those lil dudes have an awesome tradition of giving gifts to others on their birthday, and I’m following suit. Just because I’m feeling grateful for pretty much everything at the moment.

So I’m gonna purchase a few things while I’m here in Bali that’ll perhaps end up with YOU. You can trust they’ll be yoga themed and beautiful.

Right now I’m thinking I’ll buy three little gifts, since I only brought a tiny bag with me (a triumph of my packing abilities!). And it will be a lucky dip. As in, I’ll draw the winners and send them whatever I’ve bought and it will be a surprise. 😉

Sound good?

To put yourself in the running for a birthday present from me, just leave a comment below. Simple, yes?

Secondly, I present to you…

Forty pieces of silver (part 1 & part 2) – half a lifetime of learnings over two posts, coming over the next couple of days. Stay tuned!

So, happy birthday to me and happy birthday to you, too.

May all beings know beauty, peace, happiness and love. May all beings know freedom from suffering.

Enjoy your day or your evening and know that I’m thinking of my lovely blog readers, friends and family (at least a little bit) while I indulge in blissful pursuits, self-care and enjoy my birthday present to myself (a short trip to paradise!).

[Edit: the winners have been drawn!]

Much love,

Svasti xxx

Downtime in paradise

Tags

Bali, Birthday, Eat Pray Love, massages, Meditation, milestone, Ubud, Yoga

[Note: this is a scheduled post]

Right about now, I’m (hopefully) on a jet plane. Flying off to Bali for the holiday I planned and paid for before I found myself jobless.

But then a few weeks later I found another job, and now I’m about to spend five days and five nights in the beautiful and traditional Hindu yoga mecca of Ubud.

Why now, I hear you ask?

In four days I’ll reach the milestone of my 40^th birthday, and this little trip is a present from myself, to myself.

It’s all about the self-love, people.

This will be my second trip to the magical paradise of Bali. I’m so glad to be returning!

If you’ve never been, you should read Nadine’s 10 Things We Can All Learn From Bali. And don’t go to Kuta or Sanur. Base yourself in Ubud.

Y’know, in all of my previous travels both within Australia and overseas, I’ve always been doing something. Travelling with or meeting other people at my destination; attending yoga retreats; going skiing or doing touristy things. There’ve always been plans and while I’ve travelled by myself before, other people have always been involved.

This time it’s just for me.

My plans such as they are, are pretty simple: yoga, meditation, daily (super-cheap) massages, great food, writing, and perhaps a little exploring. I figure that if I had a partner, they’d be spoiling me rotten! But since it’s just me, I’m responsible for all treats and pampering.

Which is cool when you think about it, because I know EXACTLY what I like. How kind of me! It’s like I read my own mind. Hehehe.

Of course, I’m hoping that the PR blitzkrieg of Eat, Pray, Love hasn’t totally ruined Ubud since I was last there. I steered well away from any accommodation that referred to the book in their marketing! Fingers crossed I’m not perceived as just another stereotypical single female hoping to find romance in tropical paradise, huh? 😉

Anyhow. There will be a few pre-scheduled posts appearing here while I’m away. But I might be inspired to write a few “live from Ubud” posts. I’ll see how I feel.

Mostly, I hope to get stuck into my two writing projects and go to as many yoga classes as I can.

In the last week, I’ve felt both excited and terrified. This is the first real holiday I’ve had in a long time, I’m going somewhere I’ve been dying to re-visit, and I’m doing it all on my own terms. I almost had trouble believing it was happening. Somehow, the timing and the money and everything else has worked out. It’s also very freeform – just me, doing my thing. Perhaps this is preparation, too, for when I eventually head off to India?

The very fact that this trip is happening is part of the new changes I mentioned the other day. It’s a little tricky to explain them, except to say there’s lots of shifting going on energetically. It feels amazing.

Anyway, you’ll hear from me when I get to Ubud.

Catch y’all on the flip side, my lovelies.

~Svasti xxx

P.S. Even if you don’t have a holiday planned for yourself right now, why don’t you find some other way to show yourself a little love?