A few Thursday thoughts

Tags

Avoidy-ness, Change, honesty, keeping it real, personal power, thursday musings

Not exactly an organised and well put-together post, but this is what’s on my mind today…

• Lately I’ve found myself repeating similar words to a number of female friends in relation to the opposite sex:
  Sometimes, it seems that men are both attracted to and repelled by powerful women. Often, the attraction and repulsion reside in the same man, at the same time.
  Powerful women tend to increase their personal power over time. This can be even more disorienting and repulsive to the exact same man who once found you attractive for the very qualities they now cringe against.
• What you need is sometimes within your grasp and you don’t even know it.
  We make a lot of assumptions in our day to day life: who will help us; what resources we/our friends have; who we can rely on.
  But we don’t know, we really don’t. Which is why you need to ask. And not just via a Facebook blast. Really think about who might be able to help you with whatever it is that you need – directly or indirectly (your friend might know someone who can help you) – and ask them. Via phone, email, text, in person.
  Just ask. You never know who will in a position to help you unless you do.
• We really never know what it is that other people are thinking or feeling.
  Any assumptions or stories we play out in our minds about what so-and-so’s behaviour means? Is just our own melodrama.
  If you have honest friends, you’re lucky.
  If you have honest friends who are good at checking in with themselves and expressing what’s really going on, you’re super-lucky.
  But still, we all conceal things. Out of fear.
• Getting real with ourselves is a life-long, ongoing thing.
  It’s easy to veer off-course, any time. It’s easy to pretend and gloss over what’s really going on. Keeping it real is a real thing. We need friends and loved ones around us to assist in the process of reflection. But meditation is key in getting to the bottom of all of our schizz.
• Avoidy-ness. We all do it.
  It’s worse for us highly sensitive folks. For people who’ve been through the wringer.
  But avoiding stuff doesn’t make it go away. In fact, it causes stress and takes us out of our power.
  These days I’ve got a rule: short term avoidy-ness is allowed. Maybe a week or two. But whatever has to be done still gets added to a “To Do” list and the due date gets listed for after the avoidy grace period.
• Change is coming. Always.
  Yoga is meant to help us cope with change, stress, unusual situations etc… so don’t let your practice just be about how bendy your body is. A flexible mind is much more important!
  Right now, I can see the waves of change lapping furiously at my feet. While off-shore, the much more powerful tsunami-like waves are heading my way.
  I could be terrified of this. In fact, I have been terrified. But I did the work to adjust to the Way Things Are Going To Be, and took some Surfing the Change lessons.
  So come on, change! Hit me up! I’m ready to ride. 😀

~ Svasti

A recipe shared + a give-away winner

Tags

coconut biscuit recipe, Evil Chest-Suppressing Lurgy, give away winner, Melbourne, poached eggs, Recipes

Greetings from mid-Wintery Melbourne with its gasp-inducing freezey mornings and evenings.

I was gonna write to y’all last week but instead I succumbed to the Evil Chest-Suppressing Lurgy that 80% of Melbourne seems to have, and spent three days lying on my excellently long couch with the cosy cushions, with multiple pots of tea, Buffy DVDs, poached eggs and… cravings. For baked goods.

Specifically, my own variation of my grandma’s coconut biscuit recipe. So, once I’d had enough of the horizontal resting and the snoozing I pulled a stick of organic butter out of the fridge to soften it up and got to it.

Baking while all fluey means two things:

1. You have to eat ALL the cookies (omnom nom). Coz it’s unsanitary to pass on your baked-in germs.
2. Much of the prep work – like creaming the butter – can be done sitting down. There’s always a work-around when you REALLY want a cookie!

So this I offer to everyone in honour of my recently departed and highly complicated grandmother (her recipe, adapted by me):

(Gluten/sugar free) Coconut biscuits

• 100g organic butter (room temperature)
• ½ cup rice malt syrup
• 1 egg
• 1½ cups of gluten free self-raising flour (or normal flour + baking powder)
• ½ cup of almond meal
• 1 tea spoon vanilla essence
• 1 cup organic desiccated coconut
• Optional: 2x teaspoons organic raw cacao powder (for chocolatey cookies)

Pre-heat oven to 220 Celsius.

Cream butter, then stir in rice malt syrup until smooth and blended. Mix in the egg.

Sift flour and combine with almond meal, stir in to butter/sugar/egg combo.

Add vanilla essence and coconut, plus (optional) cacao powder.

Make sure the mixture is on the dry side, instead of wet and sloppy. Add a little more flour if needed.

Grease baking tray, and drop small teaspoon-sized pieces of the mixture.

Bake for around 20 minutes only. Don’t over-cook or they’ll lose their coconutty flavour.

DONE! In no time at all, you have some very tasty and easy to make cookies that are delightful with endless pots of tea. 😉

 ~~~

On to the next order of business…

Give-away winner

Yep, I’ve been a little distracted so almost forgot to draw the winner of the Yoga Nidra give-away.

Being that I’m all fluey, forgive me for not doing a video to prove the integrity of my winning entry drawing process.

AND. The winner is…

***La Gitane***

Congrats! I’ll be in touch via email to get your postal address. 😀

And…a few lil updates from me

• This year has involved massive amounts of change for the good. This is still going on, but harder to write about because I’m still in it.
• My grandmother’s passing has brought others changes. Some that have already happened; others yet to come. Things I’d rather not talk about here but they are in the end, good things, too.
• I wrote an article for Nadine’s blog on how to heal PTSD. I was overwhelmed by some of the positive comments both on the blog post and in Nadine’s Facebook feed.
• I AM going to write an ebook on healing from PTSD. It’s coming. 😀
• I am no longer in trauma. I’m. No. Longer. In. Trauma. There’s a post coming on that one really soon…

A happy mid-Winter/Summer to you all, wherever you are.

And if you make my grandma’s coconut biscuits, please let me know!!

~Svasti

New Year’s tidings

Tags

#smallstone, beach, Broken ribs, comfort zone, Happy 2012, Happy New Year, Healing, Inspiration, inwards energy, joy, Karma, outwards energy, peace, self-love, Small Stone 2012, twenty-twelve

Fireworks photo from another year. Re-cycled here because it's pretty.

I’m only getting around to my new year’s post today, the third day of 2012 (just so you know – every time I type ‘2012’ I mentally say ‘twenty-twelve’ in my head, which I didn’t do with 2011. File that under Useless Information!).

Happy 2012, everyone!

I hope you all had a pleasant transition from 2011 to 2012. This time of year isn’t always pleasant though, is it? I know this from experience, as I’ve spent many New Years Eves alone. Although there have been notable exceptions.

Regardless of what I have or haven’t done, my energy since 2005 has been very much inwards. It’s been all about conserving and healing and doing what I needed to do to take care of myself. Understandable really. But it’s made for a lot of fairly lonely times.

This – or rather, last – year, my plans were in flux, changing three times. The last offer both sounded good and a little scary. Going to the party of a friend of a friend of a friend. Appealingly, it was wayyyy out of town, almost in the country. Away from the drunken masses and the sort of “good time” I no longer really enjoy that much. BUT. Also wayyyy out of my comfort zone. New people? Someone else’s friends?

Funny how solo travel, which involves meeting brand new people is exciting. But at home doing the same thing can feel scary. How. Strange.

In my early 20’s that kind of plan would’ve been a no-brainer. Sure thing! Woo! That would’ve been my response, instead of the careful consideration and allaying of fears.

But… it’s time to start letting my energy and actions flow outward a little more once again.

New Year’s Eve

So I did it. I drove to the outer edges of what can still be called suburban Melbourne to meet my friends and their friends (who are absolutely lovely btw). Then we all went to my friend’s friend’s friend’s backyard party.

With a band (awesome tunes) playing, loudly enough to be enjoyable but still allowing conversations to be heard. BBQ eating, being eaten by mozzies, conversations with new people I wouldn’t have met otherwise, and hugs and kisses from friends and strangers alike.

The backyard band on New Years Eve 2011. They were great!

Quiet. Comfortable. Relaxed. And a painless expansion of my (perceived) personal risk-taking repertoire.

New Year’s Day

Unfortunately I didn’t feel so great the next day. A late night, a wee bit of alcohol imbibing, an hour’s drive each way. It meant a dehydration headache on an extremely hot day. Blech.

So for the first of the year, there was lots of resting, water and sleep.

I did however get out at the end of the day, taking myself out for dumplings and tea plus a movie.

The well-named "Love tea"

I also started my Small Stones writing (first post on 8th January), and I’ve noticed this practice is already helping me pay more attention to the world.

As I mentioned earlier in this piece, so much of my energy has been inward for the longest time. Noticing the world requires more of an outward focus. So it’s in line with where I’m hoping this year will go…

Yesterday

We had a second public holiday, which I’d intended to make better use of. But instead, found myself playing nurse to my mother. She’d had a fall before Christmas, and her suspected bruised ribs were in fact broken.

Interestingly enough, she has almost exactly the same injury I had around ten years ago – three broken ribs on the left side at the front. If you’ve got any understanding of familial karma, then this isn’t too surprising.

So I offered to help my mum around the house since my dad is away at the moment. Getting the washing on/off the line, doing dishes, putting things away. All very difficult with broken ribs. Heck, breathing is difficult with broken ribs.

On my way to the timeshare car I’d booked, my neighbour gave me a lift and pointed out that I’m doing more for my mum than either parent did for me when I needed help. But I can’t help it. Broken ribs hurt and I understand it only too well!

I also offered her some tips on getting up and down, reducing the degree/speed of flexion/extension through the spine. I hope she listens, since it’ll help her in the coming weeks!

Just before 5pm I left my parents’ house, determined to do something fun for myself as well.

Since it was still H-O-T I took off to the beach for a couple of dips in the bay, interspersed with reading and drying off in the super-warm breeze, flowing like water. It was heavenly.

I’m back at work today, but will write more tomorrow of my plans and intentions for the coming year!

Blessings to one and all for 2012. May you find inspiration, joy, peace and (self) love.

~ Svasti

New pathways

Tags

For whom and when, New pathways, rivulets of change, Yoga, yogini Xmas party, zig-zagging

In my happy-happy-joy-joy SQUEE about Saturday’s yogini Xmas party, there were some important reflections I didn’t get around to sharing.

Such as the wholehearted agreement that less-than-perfect yoga teachers are probably better for students (kick down those pedestals!) because then students get to see how well yoga works to heal the body and mind. None of the wonderful ladies at Nadine’s lunch would claim to be perfect, and that’s a good thing. For us and for our students.

Secondly, the importance of something my Guru drummed into my mind is this: For whom and when

In our excited post-lunch earnest group yoga discussion/demo, it became very, very clear that there’s no point at all in attempting to assess the rights and wrongs of alignment and body positions based on appearances only.

Gone are the days when I’d quietly sniff at another yoga teacher’s instructions, or judge another’s postures. Actually, I’m not sure I ever did either of these things terribly often, but the “that’s not right” commentary was tucked away in there somewhere. Uh huh.

Saturday definitively proved that even amongst a group of yoga teachers, each with their very own body type and physical limitations (or not), there is no one perfect alignment, or one perfect textbook yoga pose.

Everybody’s body moves differently, depending on injury and/or structural/functional differences. No teacher can insist that everyone attempt to be a carbon copy of their own poses (not that I ever did) because no two bodies are alike!

Tis such an important piece of information, and it was completely reinforced at a rockin’ yogini party. 🙂

Then there’s this other thing…

Where I feel… rivulets of change. Differences. New pathways being forged in and around the structure known as my life. Openings. Changes. Differences.

It’s a release. Like a river that seeks a new way down the mountain and inadvertently creates a brand new stream. Connected to the source, but pioneering new directions.

All of the work I’ve been doing this year is coming to a head. I can feel it. What does that mean? I’ve no idea!

At the end of this week I’m doing something that’s both exhilarating and somewhat frightening. So I’m zig-zagging between excitement and terror, knowing that I’m stepping forward in a way I haven’t ever done before.

Which is why I’m quite terrified.

And happy.

And exhilarated.

Stay tuned, lovely people.

~Svasti

Zoom zoom zoom

Tags

Bali, Birthday, flowers, Howzat, Kinesiology, new job, yoga teaching

Whoah, so how did we get to Thursday already?

While I am in fact sitting down right now, I feel like I’ve just stepped off a boat or plane or something that moves p-r-e-t-t-y swiftly. Everything that’s meant to be still is sort of pulsing and my legs are a tad wobbly. Whiplash? Might have that, too.

That’s how fast this week has travelled. And busy? Ohmigoodness.

By end of play Tuesday, I’d had two first interviews, one second interview and a job offer. Howzat for a head spin?

Seems I’m gonna have to learn how to work for a really cute boss and not get distracted. There are worse things than working with a gorgeous man, yes?

[Edit: Cute boss turns out to be a smoker. Instant de-ranking from the Cuteness Scale!]

Truthfully, I’m relieved. I honestly didn’t expect to land a job this side of Christmas let alone be asked to start before I go away to Bali (more on that next week!). They actually wanted me to start today but I needed some time to get a few things done if I’m gonna be working right up until I leave.

But then, just a couple of weeks ago I had a kinesiology session to get balanced for finding a job. The following Monday (last week) the phone started ringing off the hook!

No word of a lie.

The same week, I thought about letting go and living life the way I teach yoga. Just to see what happens.

I also had a few words with the Universe about what I really needed.

As in: I have $X in the bank and need roughly $X more in December to stay solvent. Funnily enough, with the yoga teaching, freelance work and working five days for my new employer, I think I now have that covered.

The phone kept ringing all of last week. Then an old workmate forwarded me the info about the job I’ve now been offered. An interview was organised for Monday of this week. Then a second interview Tuesday and a job offer only hours later!

In terms of what it’s paying, it’s a little bit under what I wanted. But it’s a permanent role, which is a bonus on account of the job security and not having to look for work all the time. It’ll also give me experience in a couple of areas that I haven’t touched on that much so far in my career. So I think it’s gonna be good!

I’ll work Friday-Thursday and then Friday week I’m flying away on a jet plane… then I’m not due back at work until 4^th January.

Exciting!

Also this week:

• Met with my freelance client to get her WordPress site up and running. That wee project is well underway.
• I was given flowers (photo at the top of this post) as an early birthday present from the yoga school I teach at. Totally unexpected and so sweet! Miss Cleo the cat and I are enjoying them very much.
• Got a taste of my future lifestyle as a part time yoga teacher, while working part time in the digital industry, as I did a couple of jobs for MM… Yoga! Lots of fun. 🙂
• Did heaps of running around today. Errands. Stocked up on vitamins. Bought a cheapie digital camera (since my other one bit it), plus a crazy-cheap new dress and shoes for work!

I am officially exhausted from the pace of this week and it’s very nice to be sitting still with some downtime on hand.

So I’m having an early-to-bed evening to make sure I’m all shiny and energetic for my first day at the new job tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

~Svasti

Sometimes you can have your cake…

Tags

Birthday, cheesecake, coincidences, gluten free, I Quit Sugar, job interviews, picnic

On Sunday I did something that’s a bit scary for me: I held a picnic for my birthday – a couple of weeks early – down at the beach.

That in itself doesn’t sound too scary, does it? But I’ve never been very good at throwing social gatherings. Plus, having a December birthday means that most of the people you invite to your get-together can’t come. Even when you invite them a month or two before the date.

I know, it’s just how December rolls with the crazy social whirlwind. I’ve always hated that about my birthday, though. I used to see it as a personal reflection. Surely if people liked me enough they’d go out of their way to come to my party? But that isn’t how life works. We each have our own priorities.

So I went ahead and had a picnic, even though the only people that could make it were my family and my very good friend and her lovely hubby. There were a few others who were going to come or at least try to, but it just didn’t work out like that.

Never mind. I no longer take these things personally.

Those of us who could be there all had a blast, down by the sea.

And cake. We had cake. Actually, there were THREE cakes*, but I made this one…

I adapted this gluten and sugar free cheesecake recipe by adding lemon juice and zest. I also used stevia instead of rice syrup. It was given a resounding thumbs up by one and all. The first time I’ve ever made a cheesecake!

*I certainly didn’t expect two other cakes! One was for my little nieces who like very plain things like sponge cake with vanilla icing. The other was a complete surprise. My mother went out of her way to make a gluten free chocolate mud cake.

So even though it wasn’t sugar free, I had a sliver anyway. Because I cannot tell you the last time my mother ever baked a cake for me. Seriously.

Other things of note:

• Since writing last week about taking a more relaxed approach to being supported, I scored two job interviews. Both of them happened today and both were positive.
• One was with a guy who is REALLY cute. Which was kinda distracting. 😉
• The cute one has already called me in for a second interview tomorrow. The other I’ll probably hear from very soon, too.
• For said interviews, I wore a dress that’s been just a little bit too tight for most of this year. On a whim, today I pulled it out of the cupboard and was able to zip it up very comfortably.
• So without being over-zealous, my I Quit Sugar experiment has caused me to shed a few pounds already. I don’t weigh myself, so I’m not sure how much. But enough for that dress (one I really like) to fit me very nicely indeed.

And now it is almost time for yoga.

Tomorrow I’m meeting with a client for a small freelance job – helping someone set up a WordPress site for their business. Then I’m meeting a friend of a friend, who might be need a freelance copywriter.

All of these things could still possibly fall flat but it’s amazing that until I made the call to chill the heck out, nothing much was happening for me. Now, there’s kind of a lot going on.

Maybe it’s all just a giant coincidence, or maybe not. I don’t really believe in coincidences much anymore.

And I’ll keep you posted…

~Svasti

More on transformation + #iquitsugar week 4

Tags

alternatives, doing things differently, Downard Dogs & Warriors, flow, habits, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, no visible means of support, sugar, Support, Surrender, Transformation, wisdom seeds, Zo Newell

I’ve had a few sugar cravings this week, which isn’t surprising according to Sarah’s ebook. I’ve also had my menstrual cycle to deal with, and oh, that pesky lack of employment. So yeah, I’ve had a few.

Mostly I’ve dealt pretty well with them, but I’ve occasionally dipped a teaspoon in a jar of Chocolate Coconut Butter. I’ve had this tiny jar for weeks and weeks and only if I’m desperate do I open it. Because it’s incredibly rich (almost over-powering), that’s really all I need. Not even a full teaspoon of it at a time.

More than anything, I’m noticing that eating something sweet is just another habit. Something I’ve learned to do over many years, and giving up that pattern of behaviour is more difficult than the physical withdrawal.

But I’m learning new behaviours. For example, a trip to the movies doesn’t have to automatically = eating sugary crappy foods. At a pinch, I can go to the supermarket and grab some good quality cheese and nuts from the deli. Or make my own popcorn (seasoned the way I like it) at home.

Then there’s things like this: a different kind of breakfast, adapted from one of Sarah Wilson’s recipes…

My version contains:

• Pumpkin (sprinkled with a little sea salt to help it cook faster)
• Carrots
• Peas
• Pepitas
• Black sesame seeds
• Shredded coconut
• A liberal dose of cinnamon
• Two eggs broken in the pan and stirred in
• All cooked up in coconut oil

This is a wonderfully nourishing meal and an awesome alternative to the usual breakfast fare. I felt like something other than poached eggs this morning and… voila! It’s brilliant. Not to mention sugar and grain/gluten free and super-tasty.

Anyway, this post is sort of about just that: alternatives. Doing and seeing things differently. In a really intangible way that you can’t measure or touch or truly understand with the logical part of the mind. Which makes it hard to write about, but I’ll try.

I still don’t have a job, and I’ve gone through about fifty modes of dealing with this unpleasant fact in the last couple of weeks.

If I pay attention to the stark reality of being jobless only weeks from Christmas and the no-hire zone of New Year/early January, I absolutely freak out. With heart in my throat and chest-tightening anxiety that is not helpful at all. Nor does it do much for my confidence or ability to think outside the box.

The reality about the digital industry in Melbourne is that it’s pretty small and still relatively immature. Surprisingly so given that this is 2011! Sydney has in recent times overtaken Melbourne in terms of numbers of digital jobs. Which just makes me want to move back there!!

Also recruitment agents here are more often than not, sub-par. According to one recruiter I spoke to, there’s a low barrier to entry for becoming a recruiter, many agencies are competing to fill the same jobs and my skills are quite specialised. So if the recruiter has no real experience in digital, it shows. Painfully. But sadly, these unskilled people are all too often the go-between for roles I’m likely to apply for.

But here’s what I’m discovering:

The more I worry about not having a job and when I might get one, and why didn’t I get an interview with that company etc etc etc… I feel like I’m missing out on something important, and it’s that intangible “thing” that I’m trying to convey here.

Today I finally picked up Downard Dogs & Warriors by Zo Newell. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf for months and months. Very soon I’ll have finished reading it however because it hooked me from the first paragraph.

Early on, it contains the phrase: “no visible means of support”, which has a completely different meaning in the context of the story being told than the thoughts it sparked in my mind.

Because one could say that right now I have no visible means of support. Yet this does not mean I am unsupported. Not at all.

There’s the little bit of extra yoga teaching being thrown my way. The Self-Alignment Kit I was gifted with at the right time. The kinesiology appointment I was allowed to have on credit. The possibility of a little freelance work coming my way (setting up a WordPress site). And a good friend (who reads this blog, thank you darling!) who connected me with her friend to see if I could do any copywriting or any other work with her. Another friend who offered me some amazing natural skincare products including moisturisers and cleansers (excellent timing since I was running low).

The words of one of my yoga teachers also resonate right now: the Universe will always provide.

Maybe it won’t be the job that I think I want or need that comes through right now.

The support I really need is emotional and financial. I need money to pay my rent and bills and so I can eat. It just mightn’t come from the places I’m expecting it to. So I need to stop telling the Universe how to support me, and just let it unfold as it will.

Which is challenging when talking about my financial well-being. It’s counter-intuitive to not plot and plan and scheme and have a back up plan and a second back up plan. But it’s much less exhausting to trust in the process of life.

Tuesday night I went to teach my yoga class as I always do: with a mix of a half-formed plan and an open mind about what will happen in the classroom with whoever turns up. I have some amazing repeat students, and a bunch of drop-ins who float in and out. They all have their own physical challenges, and for some reason they love my class.

Last night I heard that one of my regulars has been “raving” to her friends about the school I teach at, and my classes. Which is always completely unexpected because I’m still such a newbie teacher. But then something must be working right, yes?

Quite often, what goes on in the room has little to do with me or my plan. Occasionally I find myself spontaneously offering tiny morsels of the teachings I’ve been blessed with over the years and sometimes, there are receptive ears for these wisdom seeds.

As I walked away from the school at the end of the class, I thought about how magical teaching yoga can be.

I started to wonder what life would be like if I approached it the way I do teaching. With surrender. I don’t feel the need to control every moment of what I teach. I don’t kick myself if the class plan I was thinking of goes out the window. I never worry about the number of people in my class, unless there are too many! I hate for everyone to be too cramped in my wee back room.

Basically, I let go. I allow my training to do what it will, and I use all of my senses to respond to my students. I know the class will work out, no matter what. It even works out when there are so-called “difficult” students in the room. I don’t try to teach everything I know about every given pose or aspect of yoga at any given time.

When I’m teaching and especially at the beginning and end of the class, I open up to the Universe and offer my prayers and thanks for being able to pass these teachings on to others. I connect to my teachers and their teachers and I ask for their guidance. I don’t expect anything in particular to happen as a result. I just let it be.

This creates flow, and when my energy is flowing everything feels lighter. Easier. Happier.

I know I’m asking a lot of myself to take this approach to my current unemployment situation, but maybe it might just be exactly what is needed.

So, let’s see, shall we?

~Svasti

A new affirmation for me

Tags

honor, Kinesiology, respect, Self-Awareness, self-love, TLC

Went to another kinesiology session today thanks to the kindness of my therapist, who told me I could fix her up later for it. For which I am incredibly grateful!

The main purpose for today was to balancing any obstacles I might have that could be causing this ongoing pattern of having work/having no work.

It’s simultaneously surprising and not so surprising, but what came up was stuff around my last permanent job. Which is where I worked at the time I was assaulted.

But it’s also the place where I told two female bosses what’ d happened to me and instead of compassion and understanding, I was bullied. At a time when I was very low, they kicked me in the shins. I was put on performance management for not doing my job properly (you try being functional when you’ve got PTSD!) and through various pretty horrible actions, those two women added to my stress considerably.

Of course, all of this stuff seems to link into my current health issues with my thyroid. Doh!

The above affirmation is one we used today that especially struck a chord with me. What immediately popped up in my mind was:

If I consciously honored and respected myself every day, what would that look like? How would things be different?

Personally I think things could be VERY different. I mean most of the time I’m in a good place these days, but I still have my bad times. Especially right now when I’m unemployed and not sure where my next job will be coming from!

But being in a good place is not the same thing as taking time out to provide some self-TLC, is it?

While I’m not ready just yet to write about how all of this looks for me, I invite you to think about these questions for yourself.

Is there a 5-10 minute daily ritual you could do? Would be it making sure you get enough exercise? Enough sleep? Making sure you like the way you’re dressed? Eating the right foods? Doing a mini-yoga session? Having a nanna nap?

Imagine how you’d feel if this became an every day habit. I’m pretty sure it’d make each day just a little bit brighter and more centered!

If you feel like it, tell me your ideas for honoring and respecting yourself in the comments.

~ Svasti xxx

No news and #iquitsugar week 3

Tags

Anxiety, As You Like It, blood sugar levels, Christmas, detox, Easter, Father’s Day, gluten denial, guardian angel-type people, Halloween, Hashimoto’s, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, Mother's Day, Shakespeare, sugar, sugar addiction, swings and roundabouts, Thanksgiving, trick or treating, Valentine's Day, worry

An empty street stage in a Melbourne laneway, waits for its actors

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts…

~ Shakespeare, As You Like It

Joblessness

In case you were wondering, the saying “no news is good news” is a crock o’… you-know-what.

Waiting, waiting and waiting to hear back about various leads from recruitment agencies. Sometimes the company withdraws an advertised job for financial reasons, or suddenly they’ve hired someone by other channels. Yet all the recruiters tell me what an amazing skill set I have! Often I’m just not getting a look in. Even with short term jobs that don’t pay as much as I normally get paid, but that I’d be willing to do just to have some cash flow happening.

I like to imagine that the Universe has a hand in this. As in, I won’t be placed in a job if it isn’t good for my health or stress levels etc. Ironically, having no job at all is NOT good for those things either.

It’s a case of swings and roundabouts, as the saying goes.

Then again, being in the thick of an undesirable situation is never as bad as worrying about what might happen if such a thing comes to pass. In the last weeks of my contract role, my belly was very unhappy with all of the anxiety and so (excuse the TMI) I had the runs.

Now I’m all unemployed with no new job lined up, the runs (sorry!) have cleared up. I’m getting a lot more sleep, and taking time to do the things I need to do. So that’s actually nourishing for my health. As long as I keep faith that the Universe will provide, then my stress levels are under control, too.

Plus, I find myself surrounded by lovely guardian angel-type people. Folks I wouldn’t have met had it not been for this blog, yet they are kinder and more giving than my own family.

Two such angels are Nadine and Kerry, whom I’ve talked a lot about recently. Let’s just say they are beautiful people as well as being excellent at what they do. I’m so grateful to have them in my life! Thank you! xxx

Quittin’ sugar, week 3

Last week I was dealing with a box of chocolates that I really didn’t want in my life. Bloody hell. I had some of them.

But the funny thing is that I didn’t want to consume them all like I would have before starting my sugar detox.

In fact I’ve noticed that the less sugar I have, the less I want it all. Very. Interesting.

Today at the supermarket I again noticed an absolute homage to sugar at checkouts, hoping to catch people at a weak moment.

I also really saw for the first time just how much sugar is tied to holiday occasions: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays.

You folks in the US also have Thanksgiving and Halloween. I understand there’s even a Thanksgiving dish that involves marshmallows! Let’s not even talk about the diabetes in waiting sugar situation known as trick or treating.

Anyway, like I said before: the less I have, the less I want. Conversely the more sugar I have, the more often I want it. Which is a telltale sign of addiction.

Big business bets on this addiction by including sugar in most of our processed foods. So then those extra treats at the checkout are harder to resist because there’s already plenty of sugar in our body, crying out for the next fix!

I recall certain periods in my life where I HAD to have chocolate every single day. But no longer, because this autoimmune condition of mine does much better when my blood sugar levels are balanced. Too much sugar and my body freaks out!

Honestly, I consider that a blessing.

So this week as part of the detox, I’ve been upping the ratio of good fats in my diet. Things like avocados (which are crazy cheap right now), pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, certain cheeses etc. Unsaturated fats in small doses that quickly sate my appetite and provide much needed nutrients.

In addition, I’m eating more vegetables and organic/free range meat. Plenty of water, coconut water, green tea, tulsi tea and chai.

Basically, it’s all going well and I don’t seem to be missing sugar at all. For now. Apparently it gets harder in a few more weeks…

Also: gluten denial!

Oooh boy. I confess I’ve been majorly in denial about gluten.

Only certain types of food containing gluten cause me real physical grief, specifically things like bread and pizza. In small doses I can handle dumplings (my weakness)…

But gluten is gluten.

Part of me really hates the idea of being all “special needs” with my food and this fuels my occasional rebellion.

However all the reading I’ve done on Hashimoto’s strongly recommends going gluten-free.

So I’ve had a very stern talk with myself: *clears throat* Even if we’re not having an obvious physical reaction to gluten (hello, dumplings that aren’t gluten-free!), that doesn’t mean its okay to eat it. And no, we can’t occasionally have pizza with gluten just because it’s more convenient. That’s dumb-ass, young lady, and we know it’ll hurt! So. Just. Stop.

Sheesh. Sometimes I’m very stubborn about the wrong things.

That’s all for now, y’all.

Oh! I do have a couple of things going on. I’m writing a couple of guest posts, and also maybe doing a bit of freelance work. More updates soon…

~Svasti

P.S. Please do send the Faeries In Charge of Jobs and Abundance over to my house for a spell, okay?

Continued: working without a net

Tags

Anxiety, belly relaxed, bliss, breathing smooth, Depression, don't look down, heart open, hecticness, I trust in abundance, I trust myself, I trust the Universe, muse, PTSD, Self-Alignment Kit, working without a net, world of impermanence, Writing, yogAttitude cards

Meditate. Be bliss. There's a lesson in that for all of us...

This is just a quick post to say hi, really. Well, and a couple of other things.

First of all

Suzanne, who won the give-away of Nadine’s wonderful yogAttitude cards has seemingly gone AWOL. So I’m on the verge of re-drawing the prize!

Suzanne, I’ve sent you three emails and left a comment on your blog. No reply! If I don’t hear from you very soon, I’ll re-draw a winner from the other entries (no new entries, just to be fair!).

So please get in touch by Friday 4th November if you would still like to receive your prize, as I need a postal address. After that, I will draw another winner.

Secondly

I’ll be doing a review very soon of Kerry’s Self-Alignment Kit. I think I’m gonna try it this weekend, on account of the fourth point of this post (below).

Also: if you’re interested in Kerry’s kit, hang about for the review because there’ll be a discount code for readers of this blog!

Thirdly

Things are crazy-hectic for me right now at work. The last few months we’ve been working on a H-U-G-E project – a whole bunch of websites that’ll be going live, hopefully this weekend. New branding, a new content management system, new content. It’s been absolutely massive and there’s been so much to do. Insane.

Which has meant no time to finish some of the posts I’m writing. Stuff I really want to get done!

Fourthly (is that even a word?)

This is the working without a net thingy.

In 2008 I left the world of stable, full-time employment. At the time, I was going on a long retreat in the wilds of north-east Thailand. It was a massive turning point for me.

Earlier that year, I’d finally gotten my butt into therapy and was formally diagnosed with PTSD. It was the beginning of my healing journey, and leaving my job was a part of that. I’d been in the same job for 4.5 years and most of that time I also had PTSD. So I’d been trying to hold down a high-performance job while being pretty dysfunctional. I’d also had the misfortune of telling my bosses what had happened to me, and having them use that as a means to bully me. I was burned out.

After retreat and coming back to Australia, I haven’t had a permanent job. Well, none that has lasted anyway. There’ve been a couple of periods of unemployment and lots of contract work.

Simultaneously, I’ve worked my ass off to heal PTSD, anxiety and depression. Which I’ve done, although it hasn’t been easy. I’m still working on healing myself – now it’s my body that needs support and love, while it too, processes the aftershocks of everything my mind and soul have been through.

Integral to all this healing has been learning to really trust myself and my place in this universe – as big or small as that place might be. The first time I found myself unemployed, it was terrifying. I made a whole bunch of decisions at that time that I’d do quite differently now.

All of this short term contract work hasn’t exactly been easy when you have hair-trigger anxiety, either. It’s basically like facing unemployment on a semi-regular basis, never quite sure where or when the next job is coming.

If I’m not careful, such things can cause crazy-excessive-heart-thudding and concrete-heavy-belly feelings.

Even though I have my own, I can't help but stop to talk to other kitties I meet. Such things help me keep life relaxed and calm.

Which is where trust comes in. You see, I’ve found that if I let my fear and anxiety rule the playground, my world gets very small. In such a small world, it’s much harder to get my needs met. So I need to stay open and relaxed.

With the end of the big project I’ve been working on, my current contract is due to end in just under three weeks and I don’t have another job to go to yet.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s been a flurry of recruiters calling me, but so far none of those conversations has turned into anything concrete. I even went for an interview and everything looked good but there have been some issues at that company with getting the job “signed off”. Yep.

So I talk and pray to the Universe daily. I keep my belly relaxed (as much as possible), my breathing smooth and my heart open (which is what I ask my yoga students to do – just walking the talk).

I keep thinking that perhaps I’m just missing whatever lesson the Universe is trying to teach me. Or maybe this is just a constant reminder that nothing is permanent, and now that I’m open to that, my world looks entirely impermanent all of the time?

I’m not sure to be honest. But one lesson I have really learned is that when working without a net, you simply don’t look down.

Clichéd perhaps, but true.

Fifthly (ditto re: existence of word)

I now have two books that I need to write.

The first one is my children’s book. It’s totally buzzing around my brain, showing me new characters and scenarios. Whenever I’ve read about authors talking about their characters coming to life, I didn’t really understand what they meant. Until now.

Must. Write. Book!

The second one is actually Nadine’s fault (said with a grin!). We caught up a few weeks back and had a rambly natter about all kinds of things – yoga, healing, trauma etc.

At one point she said something like: Well, that’s some wisdom you’ve gained there. What are you going to do with that?

I was all, ummmm….?

But the Muse strikes at the oddest of times, doesn’t She? Tuesday night I was walking to the school where I teach yoga every week and She whispered: Write an e-book about what you’ve learned in recovering from PTSD, depression and anxiety.

Oh dang! Before I’d reached my destination, several chapters had laid themselves out for me.

So… I guess I’m writing that one, too.

~ Svasti