Review: Two words for a powerful year workshop

Tags

2012, goals, Nadine Fawell, New Year's resolutions, Plans, resolutions, Yoga, yoga workshop

Well, says Nadine (aka The Divine Ms N) almost doubtfully, I hope you got something out of today.

As much as she claims to be the Queen of Unsubtlety, here’s this beautiful yogi with her mellifluous South African accent, sounding unsure of the magic she’s just enabled for a room full of women.

*Ahem* DID I get something out of Nadine’s workshop? Errrmmmm… f#ck yes I did!

The premise was to find two words to set your intentions for the year, instead of making a mountain of resolutions or intentions.

The idea was that we’d work it out via a bit of story-telling, laughter, inappropriate jokes, and a process of self-inquiry Nadine had written down in a workbook for everyone. This was to be interspersed with a bit of yoga, food and relaxation and eventually, we’d all find the words that would sing out to us.

Words that represented how we want 2012 to go: things we need, want or are challenged by.

To be honest, I signed up for this workshop when I was still in the Land of Overwhelm.

I’ve been a wee bit terrified of the coming year – will it be another round of physical, mental, emotional or financial disaster? The worry about such things was the cause of much unexpressed anxiety.

So I signed up thinking fark, I’d better get as much help as I can for myself in starting things off right and bloody well hope and pray it all turns out… better. Better than the last six years in every way.

I am ready for better. Very ready.

Even though Nadine had emailed us earlier in the week with some question prompts, I really hadn’t thought about what my words might be.

But funnily enough, as we got started with our first session of yoga one of my words just… *POPPED* into my mind. Okay, cool.

It makes perfect sense for me, yes?

I’d still no idea what the other one would be, however.

We then started talking with each other, reading our workbooks and writing, just to get the thought processes moving (I’d bought my extra-shiny glitter gel pens to inspire me!).

Nadine started passing around some food (stating that she can’t concentrate if she’s hungry!), and we all either kept the word brainstorming going and/or tucked in to the nibbles – whatever worked for each of us.

A bit of tea, a few nuts and muffins (although no muffins for me!), some chatting with other participants and I still didn’t have my second word.

Until I did.

Just by… I don’t know, standing there and listening to other people talk. Suddenly it was glaringly apparent and I was hot-footing it back to my yoga mat, attempting to write down that darn word – because until then I simply hadn’t written anything like it in my workbook!

Which I didn’t do without some serious face-pulling, like I’d been eating too many lemons!

Whoah. I REALLY didn’t want to have to face that one but there it was, staring me in the face.

Acceptance.

GAH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MIGHT MEAN??!!

The last thing I thought I wanted was to work on accepting myself, my life and where I’m at but apparently that’s what I need this year. I mean, can’t we put that shizz off til much later? Next life, perhaps? 😉

But… too late. Like the ringing of a bell, it was blatantly clear that like it or not, for me 2012 is the year to get into some acceptance (grumble grumble bloody bloomin’ heck!).

Once everyone had their word(s), next up was investigating exactly what those words might mean for us.

Here’s a short summary of mine:

Healing

• Getting my thyroid and body back into balance.
• Regaining normal iron levels and other blood work tests.
• Hopefully being able to get off thyroid medication and manage my health by diet and yoga/kinesiology/acupuncture alone.
• Finding the right doctor/naturopath to help me achieve these goals.
• Continuing my kinesiology sessions.
• Getting enough sleep, eating the right foods and staying away from the wrong foods.
• Feeling full of energy once again.
• Finding my ideal body weight.
• And… when I’m ready, being able to remove the impenetrable protective bubble that still surrounds my heart. To truly let love in once again.

Acceptance

• Being honest with myself about ALL the things I don’t accept about myself right now.
• Finding ways to accept the things I currently reject: physical appearance; what I’ve been through; what I think I’ve “missed out on” as a result of having PTSD; the things I want in my life that I don’t have; parts of my personality I don’t like; my current lifestyle; not living/doing the things I really want to be doing; my health…
• Understanding that acceptance of all of these things isn’t about giving up. Rather, it’s about not wasting energy fighting things I can’t change.
• Embracing self-love in all aspects of my life, and being happy and joyful within myself!

Nadine asked us to think of a yoga pose(s) that embodies the essence of our words for us, and then wove them into our second yoga session.

Interestingly, there were a LOT of mentions of warrior and tree pose, as a many people had words like balance, stability and openness.

The intention of the second yoga session was to seal the words we’d each chosen into our bodies and minds.

We began with a simple meditation on our words, inhaling and exhaling them like a mantra. Playing around with which word felt right for the inhale and which for the exhale [inhale: Healing / exhale: Acceptance].

This time the practice was a little stronger than our first session, and we carried our words with us as we moved and breathed.

How do your words feel with this pose, asked Nadine, as she left us in each pose for a while to ponder.

Finally, we finished with another meditation. Allowing our words to steep and settle in to the sub-conscious and anywhere else they’re needed.

Like all Nadine events, there was lots of laughter and light-heartedness. But ultimately, it was an elegant and thoughtful process of getting to the Stuff That Matters for each person.

That’s most definitely what happened for me!

So yes, Nadine. I got PLENTY out of your sweet little workshop. And it’s something I think you should run on a yearly basis because I’m sure there are lots of folks out there who’d love to learn this simple but powerful method of organising oneself for the coming year.

~Svasti xo

P.S. You can read Nadine’s two words and Kerry’s two words as well. Yay!

P.P.S. You can also join the Two Words Project on Facebook, if you’d like to join in the fun.

Review: Kerry Belvisio’s Self Alignment Kit – part II

Tags

alignment, Anxiety, calmness, career, chakra cards, FREAKING THE FRACK OUT, Kerry Belvisio, Kinesiology, Love, Money, Negativity, peace, self alignment, Self-Alignment Kit, space, speaking truth, survival

[Read part I first]

Part II of this review is where I tell you all about what I did Sunday night for my first time using the Self-Alignment Kit!

Personally right now I’ve been pretty stressed about my impending potential unemployment.

You know… right before Christmas (spendy and not a great time to be looking for work!). Right before my fully paid for holiday (yikes!). No partner or anyone else I might be able to lean on for support (physically, emotionally, financially etc etc).

Freaking scary, let me tell you! But also, I’ve been in this place before. For months, actually. And the thought of going through that again scares me silly.

So I thought I’d try to get some self-alignment happening around all of this. Because if I can get rid of some of the anxiety/negativity/blurry vision around my work situation, that has to be a good thing, right?

Working the process to get aligned

So I read the workbook first (as recommended), then printed off a worksheet. You use a new worksheet each time you want to get aligned with one of your goals.

The first thing the worksheet asks you to do is to work out your area of focus.

For me right now, that’s easy: Money. Career.

The next question is about how you feel about those things. Haha. I wrote: Scared. Upset. Freaked out. 😀

Then, there’s the process of figuring out your goal for this particular session. The workbook has lots of helpful hints and even some suggestions around common topics like love, career, family etc, that you can adapt for your own purposes.

My goal is around securing a stable and well-paying job in the immediate future.

Then comes the fun part. I had printed out but not yet cut up my chakra cards.

A sample of some of the dozens of chakra cards in the kit

So part of this first time around was cutting them into their little coloured squares and messing up the order, shuffling them with intent and so on.

I did an extremely thorough job of said shuffling, then spread them out on my desk to choose one.

With my eyes closed.

Hands over the cards, feeling for a hotspot.

And which card do you think came up?

Yep…

At which I rolled my eyes, because DUH!

This whole thyroid/Hashimoto’s deal is about EXACTLY THIS.

Kerry wisely counsels: Assume that the first card you choose is the RIGHT card. Otherwise you might miss something important.

Smart cookie, that Kerry.

Because otherwise I might’ve done just that, thinking that “speaking truth” was just too obvious for me. And also too “big” for this career/money goal I was focusing on.

So I decided to trust the process, and was pleasantly surprised by what came up. I kept working through the questions on the worksheet and here’s what I figured out…

Speaking the truth about my current line of work is somewhat precarious. Obviously I don’t want to tell a potential employer that I’m only in it for the money until I get to the point where I can quit (for my excellently awesome future life plans).

BUT. Then I asked myself…

– Am I being truthful about what I will and won’t accept in this interim (meaning, “for now”) work I’m doing?

– Am I setting expectations with potential employers that honour and support my needs, while still doing the best job I can?

– Am I just copping out with how I’m viewing this interim work and therefore creating a rod for my own back? (i.e. “suffering” through things I don’t want to do, making life less enjoyable)

– Could I really be making more of this time, and with this interim work?

Hmmmm. Then I figured out the following truths:

• I know, of course, that the work I’m doing right now is not how I ultimately want to be earning money.
• But I’ve been treating it all as very much just a means to an end.
• I’ve allowed myself to take jobs that pay well, but haven’t necessarily allowed me to feel fulfilled or satisfied at all.
• But it doesn’t have to be that way. Even though I don’t really want to be doing this kind of work forever, I CAN find employment that allows me some job satisfaction.
• Doing this work is certainly a means to an end, but it doesn’t have to be just about financial survival.
• Oh wow… look at that.
  Here I am using the word “survival”, which has been the mode I’ve functioned in for the last 5 or 6 years.
  I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g…

So at the end of the process (which can be as short or long as you like!), I found myself writing the following:

• I don’t have to take just any job.
• The job I am offered will meet my physical, financial AND spiritual needs (somehow!)
• I can find people and lessons in this work I don’t want to be doing forever – these people or learnings will be of benefit to me in the future, even if I don’t know it now.

Which left me feeling… a little less panicked and overwhelmed.

Which created a little more space and calmness – as opposed to the FREAKING THE FRACK OUT that I had been doing.

A day later, I’m still feeling positive and calm.

I have an interview lined up for tomorrow at lunchtime, and I feel confident that I’m coming from the right place in assessing whether or not it will be the right job for me.

All in all I’m in a much happier place than I was last week, even though I’m closer than ever to potential unemployment.

Like the Self-Alignment Kit? Use this discount code!

Kerry has kindly offered readers of this blog a 15% discount.

Hooray for discounts!

So instead of AUD $59, you’ll pay AUD $50.15 – which is excellent value for something you can re-use time and time again.

Just enter this code when you order: imwithsvasti

Thanks, Kerry!

Timing is everything, and this little gift of the Self-Alignment Kit has been very timely indeed. I can’t tell you how much I value your support and love.

~~~~~~

Wishing you all peace, love and alignment, peeps.

~ Svasti xxx

Review: Kerry Belvisio’s Self Alignment Kit – part I

Tags

alignment, Blogging, chakra cards, Healing, Kerry Belvisio, Kerry in your pocket, Kinesiology, Kinesiology Fan Girl, self alignment, Self-Alignment Kit, self-sabotage

First, a little back story

Just the other day I was thinking about the myriad of ways blogging has benefited my life. I’ve made new friends, new connections and learned So. Much.

Blogging has also kept me accountable for my healing process, even though I never would’ve suggested that’s what I was doing. And the writing of it all has helped me unravel much more than I ever thought possible.

Through a pathway of interconnected bloggers, at some point I found myself thinking: I guess I’d better check out this Nadine chick I keep hearing about from other bloggers. Which led to meeting Nadine AND Mark Whitwell.

It also led me to attend Nadine and Kerry’s Unstuck Workshop. Which meant that when the shizz hit the fan (AGAIN) after my five year…ermmm…anniversary of being assaulted, I called Kerry for an appointment.

Connections, connections.

So thanks to blogging I’ve been having regular kinesiology sessions for around twelve months now, and it has been incredibly transformative.

Hi. My name is Svasti and I am a Kinesiology Fan Girl.

I saw Kerry for months and months, but now I’m seeing Amanda – whom Kerry referred me to on account of all of the thyroid stuff I’m dealing with.

Because Kerry is just that kind of healer: putting the needs of her clients first.

(It should also be noted that the thyroid stuff came up, I suspect, because in a session with Kerry I was all: I don’t know what I need to do next!! Soon afterwards, it was: hello, physical health! See, I need to get that all sorted before I run off adventuring around the world.)

Of course, that creates a bit of a quandary for me because now I have TWO lovely kinesiology ladies that I adore for all of their amazing work. So whenever I’m recommending kinesiology to my friends, I always give them both Kerry’s and Amanda’s details.

Anyway, on to the ACTUAL review:
The Self-Alignment Kit

Kerry has gone and created a brilliant piece of DIY-at-home kinesiology* in The Self Alignment Kit.

*Just to be clear – while I’ve just described the kit as a piece of DIY-at-home kinesiology, it’s only a part of the work that kinesiology does. So if you ever get the chance to have a session (or two or three or…) then do it. You won’t regret it!

I was already planning on buying one, but Kerry generously offered the kit to me as a gift!

So I thought I’d repay her in kind by sharing my experiences to date.

Already, I know this is a tool I’ll use many, many times over.

So. What does the Self-Alignment Kit contain?

A few things, actually:

• A handy dandy audio guide of Kerry talking you through the steps.
  Very helpful, especially the first time you try the kit out.
  It’s kind of like tucking Kerry in your pocket and bringing her home for a chat. 🙂
• The step-by-step guidebook – which talks about how we get stuck and misaligned with our goals, as well as lots of info on how to use the kit.
• A worksheet – you’ll need a fresh one every time you use your Self-Alignment Kit.
• A set of chakra cards – this is the main tool for figuring out where in your body/chakras you are misaligned to your goals.
• A little book of goals – something I plan to use extensively very soon. I just didn’t have enough time on the weekend.
  This part of the kit looks like a luxurious adventure in getting clear on your future life plans. Which hey, I’ve got a lot of those and I’d totally like to be in alignment with them!

So what does the kit actually do?

Think of it as a tune-up tool for your life’s plans and goals.

Doesn’t it bug you when you want your life to go in a certain direction but you feel like stuff keeps dragging you down and/or backwards?

It sure bugs me. Sometimes I’ve felt like I’m walking on the spot on a treadmill, but don’t even know it. There I am, looking towards where I want to be but finding those things just out of reach.

That’s misalignment in action.

Getting aligned with where you want to be is seeing and getting off the treadmill, and really and truly being able to move forwards.

Some pretty cool stuff about the Self-Alignment Kit

Just a few observations:

• Part self-coaching, part kinesiology session, it helps you to focus on your goals and ferret out any little self-sabotages you’ve got going on. Stuff that unbeknownst to you, is getting in the way of your own happiness.
• The process is simple and it works.
• Not that I had any doubts about something Kerry has produced, but even for this first attempt it worked better than I expected.
• It’s empowering. Something that most of us need to learn is that anyone you go to for healing is the facilitator of your own natural healing capability.
  Using this kit really helps to see that for yourself, in case you didn’t really get it beforehand.
• Kerry’s chakra cards are cool. Being a yoga student and teacher, I know a few things about chakras. But I really like the kinesiology way of referencing various physical/emotional needs with our chakras, and I especially like Kerry’s chakra cards!
  They are no-nonsense, colourful and to the point. For someone like me whose never been into much of the really New Age “woo woo” stuff, this is my kind of tool (along with the yogAttitude cards!).
• Make it quick or take your time. If something is playing on your mind, you can get in there with a quick, intuition-driven self-analysis. That’s what I did on Sunday night (see part II of this review).
  Or, you can plan a more in-depth goal setting and alignment session. Maybe over a glass of wine, with some music and incense. A night just for you to get real with your own life.
• It’s a completely digital product, so there’s no delay once you’ve purchased it. You can download everything you need from Kerry’s website and get going straight away!
• Eco-preferences: You can choose to print the e-books or not: it’s up to you. However, the chakra cards do need to be printed. I intend to get a set laminated so they’ll last for as long as possible.

So as you can see, there’s plenty to like about the Self-Alignment Kit, right?

Part II of this review is about what I did on Sunday night. Check it out!

~ Svasti

Review: yogAttitude cards

Tags

affirmation, attitude, bhava, Emotions, Feelings, intuitive, Nadine Fawell, review, spontaneity, Yoga, yoga in my pocket, yogAttitude cards

You guys! The brave and delightful Nadine Fawell has created something truly awesome: yogAttitude cards!!

And I feel like a total lucky duck for having the opportunity to test drive and review them for y’all.

Full disclosure: I was given a pre-release copy of the cards and workbook.

But holy-moly, I totally LOVE them and would buy them in a heart beat!

I’ve got a bunch of things to tell you about Nadine’s yogAttitude cards, so get ready for a walk-through of my test drive…

So what are yogAttitude cards anyway?

Well, there’s two kinds of cards in the box – those that show Nadine doing a yoga pose, and then all those Attitudes! All up, there’s 50 cards in the box – 25 poses and 25 Attitudes.

Adorably, they’re elegantly compact and come in a very cute wee box, so you can take them with you anywhere, including on holidays!

The cards are accompanied by a digital workbook (PDF format) which has bigger photos of all of the poses as well as beautiful descriptions of each Attitude (things like: accepting, nurturing, passionate, faithful etc).

How do you use them?

It doesn’t matter how experienced/inexperienced a yogi you are, yogAttitude cards can add a little magic to your practice!

In the workbook, Nadine lists some suggestions around how to use the cards. This is actually where the fun comes in!

Here’s a screen grab from the workbook of just a couple of Nadine’s suggestions:

Personally, I use them a bit like affirmation cards. As in, I make a pile of the pose cards and another one with the Attitudes. Then I intuitively choose an Attitude to go with 1-4 pose cards. Or however many I feel like.

Once I’ve gotten over the synchronicity (doh!) of whatever has turned up, I rearrange the cards into a sequence I like.

Then I repeat the process, so there are maybe three or four sets of cards, creating a group of sequences for me to practice.

I read what the workbook says about the Attitude and start practicing, all the while generating that bhava (feeling/attitude) towards myself and the particular pose I’m doing.

Why do I like them so much?

• I downright LOVE the idea of intuitively choosing a yoga pose in the way I might do with an affirmation or tarot card. It really speaks to the sense of “what do I need in my practice today”?
• People take yoga too seriously! In the classes I teach, I pay attention to the faces of my students. I’m always asking them to relax their face, to smile, to laugh… because too often their expression looks like they’re constipated! 😉
  Y’all, this is just NOT what we’re meant to be doing with yoga! Getting in touch with various attitudes and generating that feeling while in various poses is fantastic. Especially if it’s a pose you normally associate more closely with torture or swear words than say, kindness or wisdom.
• Because the selection of poses is so random, I might find myself practicing a sequence I don’t do often/wouldn’t have thought of myself.
  We all get stuck a bit in the way we’ve been trained or taught, right?
  For example: placing half-moon pose after triangle pose isn’t something I do all the time. So the cards are freeing up my idea of sequencing, yeah!
• Besides how easy it is to pop them in your bag, I love the size of the cards for another reason. In some cases, they only show parts of the pose Nadine is doing.
  So instead of very strict instructions about what a pose should/shouldn’t be, it’s left up to you to figure it out, all the while bringing FEELING into your practice.
• yogAttitude cards provide you with suggestions, but overall leave your practice up to you. Personally I sometimes find using yoga DVDs a little overwhelming. They aren’t working to my pace unless I get the remote out and hit pause. Plus, I don’t always want to follow the same sequence and the cards allow me to tailor my practice to suit how I’m feeling.
• I can choose to do a short practice or a longer one – it all depends on the number of cards I select.
• Change your mood and change your day – that’s basically it, isn’t it? I read something once that said simply the act of putting a smile on your face can affect your mood and brain chemistry. So, try practicing a little calmness or groundedness and see what happens…
• I don’t ever want my yoga practice to ever be something I do by rote, like a chore. Nadine’s cards are a light-handed reminder to keep life, feeling and spontaneity in my yoga. Hooray!

Yay, a discount!

yogAttitude cards are pretty darn affordable, but for a limited time, Nadine is offering a 10% discount.

Because she’s generous like that.

Just head over to her shop and use the code LAUNCHPARTY at checkout to get your very own inspirational pocket yoga practice.

It comes with peacock feathers on the box! 😉

Thank you

Oh, wise and gorgeous Nadine, many thanks for allowing me to review your yogAttitude cards.

I really and truly think they’re brilliant and I’ll probably end up buying them as a gift for a few people. In fact, they’d make an awesome Christmas/Yule or birthday present.

Now I can truly say I’ve got yoga in my pocket. Yay!

~ Svasti

xxx

And with a touch of synchronicity

Tags

Bessel A. van der Kolk, David Emerson, Elizabeth Hopper, Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body, Peter Levine, Stephen Cope

Tonight I went to the parcel drop-off center located at the ass-end-of-nowhere, and picked up my copy of this…

Overcoming Trauma through Yoga: Reclaiming Your Body
by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper

It’s a book my good friend and recently renewed blogger, Linda-Sama, told me about. I’ve had it on pre-order since before it was available.

It has forwords from Peter Levine, Stephen Cope and an introduction from Bessel A. van der Kolk (BlissChick told me about him).

It’ll not only do me good, but down the track it will also help me to assist others who’ve been through trauma: for this is work I know I’ll be doing in the future.

Yoga is awesome in so many ways.

Om.

~Svasti

P.S. I’m not terribly good at remembering to write  book reviews but if I do, you know where I’ll post it.

Carried by a Promise discussion [1]

Tags

Carried by a Promise, Diary of a Woman's Search, kula, Paramahansa Satyananda, Reviews, spiritual seekers, Swami Radha, Swami Radhananda, Swami Sivananda, Yoga

This month I’ll be writing a number of posts about the book: Carried by a Promise by Swami Radhananda. I’m fortunate enough to have been offered a review copy, and right now I’m about four paragraphs in and enjoying it immensely.

For me there’s a personal connection to this story, even if it’s several times removed. Swami Radhananda’s guru is Swami Radha, and her guru is Swami Sivananda. Another student of Swami Sivananda was Paramahansa Satyananda, who is my guru’s guru. So we are of the same root lineage.

Additionally, I’ve always felt very connected to Swami Sivananda through reading books by and about him and through his photos.

This was the first photo of Swami Sivananda I ever saw on a wall at my guru’s house when he lived in Australia:

It’s hard to explain, but I feel that I know him even though he died before I was born. Then when I first read Swami Radha’s book [Diary of a Woman’s Search], I found it very compelling – in part due to her relationship to Swami Sivananda and also because I had an intense healing experience mid-read, lying on my couch in a tiny apartment in Melbourne.

I’ve re-read Swami Radha’s book many times, always gaining some new insight I could relate to. I’ve since given it to someone else that I felt really needed it, but I’ll buy it again some day as it’s one of those books that lives in my heart.

Given all the above, Swami Radhananda’s story is of great interest to me. Once again we have the story of a western woman on an intense spiritual journey – and there really aren’t enough of these stories – which is odd when you consider that the western-world yoga scene is primarily dominated by women.

For much of 2010 the yoga blogosphere was on fire about what “real” yoga is, who’s doing it and who isn’t, the uber-commercialisation of yoga as a brand and so on. In stark contrast, what Swami Radha and Swami Radhananda are writing about are very personal and real stories about their yoga practice. About the transformation of their lives through yoga – and we’re not just talking about who can do what poses.

So far from what I’ve read of Carried by a Promise, it is rich in honesty and self-reflection. I am impressed by the number of questions Swami Radhananda managed to come up with as she struggled with her burgeoning spiritual life at the same time as her marriage was disintegrating, while she worked to raise her kids and pay a mortgage without an income from her husband.

My first impressions are that she was both vulnerable and fierce in the pursuit of her studies. Her words are like honey, and they remind me of everything that’s happened in my own life since I first met my guru in 1998. I feel like I’m reading the diary of someone I know and it invokes that same sense of “home” I get when among my kula and with my guru.

Suffice to say I am looking forward to wading in deeper!

So hang tight, and I’ll be posting my reflections from the book in the next little while. In the meantime you might enjoy checking out Swami Radhananda’s website, which includes video clips of her reading parts of the book.

Finally, you can read a review by Roseanne at It’s all yoga, baby – she’s already read the book and her account has me very excited and curious!

~Svasti

Check out Desert Book Chick!

Tags

AnthroYogini, book blogging, Depression, Desert Book Chick, passion

Some of you will be familiar with Anthroyogini (aka Amanda, the desert dwelling anthropologist). But the Anthroyogini blog is on hiatus right right now – or perhaps permanently (any news, Amanda?).

BUT Amanda has been blogging quite furiously and successfully for a few months now as Desert Book Chick. Which (no surprises here) is all about books. That gal reads at a furiously lightning-paced rate and has tweaked both her blog AND her book review posts until they glisten. She is doing incredibly well in her new blog-genre!

So if you like books at all, it’s definitely a good blog to keep tabs on.

Even more than that however, Desert Book Chick has really helped Amanda overcome her own very recent battle with depression.

Whether its yoga or dancing or writing or whatever… there’s plenty of evidence to show that if you throw yourself into whatever activity you’re passionate about, you CAN kick depression in the ass.

Make sure you read this wonderful post by Amanda:

A Very Personal Retrospective

…to learn how her book blog evolved, and how it has unexpectedly become much more important to her than she ever imagined it would!

~Svasti

What’s your bookshelf theme?

Tags

Bedroom, Books, Bookshelf, Dave Pelzer, eBay, Frank McCourt, June Goulding, Lindy Chamberlain, Patricia Hughes, Theme

For the last five weeks I’ve inhabited my parents’ spare bedroom.

It’s not a very large room. It has two beds with floral bedspreads and Queen Anne bed heads. A large gold/gilt rectangular mirror looms above them. In between there’s just enough room for a bedside table with four drawers decorated with faux antique handles. All of this was purchased on eBay.

At the foot of the bed against the window is a medium sized bookshelf, wedged in against the double wardrobes.

This is my mother’s bookshelf, and not my father’s in any way.

It’s full of her recently acquired books and a handful of photo albums from the time when people still did that. There are plenty of new additions to the bookshelf because just over sixteen months ago my mother smashed her arm to smithereens. I mean it – she broke her arm in two jagged pieces just above the elbow in a freaky fall. Mum’s had three surgeries and two bone grafts in this time and now sports a hefty plate and a whole bunch of screws to keep her arm in one piece.

So, she’s been rather housebound, not able to drive or do very much for herself. It’s only in recent months that she’s started to see real healing occurring. There’s been little she could do except read and spend time surfing the interwebs. So eBay became her virtual shopping mall, and for a voracious reader such as she is, it was a blessing and a lifeline.

And once I’ve said good night I close the door and prowl the contents. I’m not sure when it started but this curiosity was born of the lack of things to do out here in Suburbia-urbia.

They’re not all to my taste, so it’s a hunt to find things I’m interested in. Not everything I read worked for me, but I’m kinda bored so I read them anyway.

The first book I picked up was Dave Pelzer’s “My Story” as discussed in a recent post. The next was called “Light in the Window” by June Goulding. The third was “Daughters of Nazareth” by Patricia Hughes. Next was “Angela’s Ashes” and “Tis” by Frank McCourt (no I hadn’t read them before). I’ve just picked up Lindy Chamberlain’s “Through My Eyes“.

You could say I started noticing a theme: children lost or stolen; bad mothers; bad parents; wronged women; anguish; grief.

The story of my mother’s life.

In the 1960’s and 70’s in Australia, New Zealand and UK, if you were unmarried and pregnant you were in huge trouble. Most young girls in this position were sent away so their families weren’t disgraced. Once the babies were born they were forcibly adopted out from the mothers, usually under duress. Or they were just plain stolen.

This is the story of my mother’s life. But more on this another time.

Finding so many books along this theme made me think about my own books, and how I’d sum up the overall contents of my skinny, tall, pale-wood bookshelf.

And it’s this: yoga; meditation; Tantra; philosophy; mythology; runes; biographies; taking care of your health.

What theme does yours hold?

~Svasti

Book review: My Story by Dave Pelzer

Tags

Abuse, Assault, Child Abuse, Dave Pelzer, Recovery, Reviews, Starvation

I’m really freakin’ cranky today. I’ve had this cold for the past week and now I’m losing my patience.

My voice sounds like fingernails against chalkboard (when you can actually hear it), my left ear has blocked up and my hacking coughs produce either large wads of gooey phlegm or hard, nasty pieces that were probably once caked on to the inside of my lungs.

So I’m not feeling that well. I’ve been gargling, cleansing my sinuses (thanks neti pot!) and drinking enormous amounts of fluids and I’m sloooowly getting better. Grrr.

Anyhow, I digress. I’m taking a leaf out of Shiv’s blog and posting a book review. Not that I plan to make a habit of it, its just that this particular book really affected me.

The book is actually an amalgam of three books into one larger one. “My Story” by Dave Pelzer is a heartbreakingly painful story of a derranged, alcoholic mother who singles out one of her sons – Dave – for outrageously cruel and almost fatal treatment from the ages of around five to twelve, when he was finally made a ward of the state.

The first book (A Child Called It) details his life of pain, suffering, humiliation and degredation by his mother. She starved him and beat him. She made him sleep in the garage and work as a slave for the rest of the family. She burned him arm and would feed him ammonia. And much more. Dave’s father stood by helplessly wishing he could help. All the while, this small boy tried to understand what he’d done to deserve this treatment and why his mummy didn’t love him. Reading this story made me cry often and when his teachers and school nurse finally took action to take him away from his mother my relief was palpable.

The second book (The Lost Boy) looks at Dave’s time in foster care and trying to adjust to living a relatively normal life after years of torture and seclusion. It wasn’t easy for him or for his foster parents and even though he was away from his mother, she still did what she could to ruin his life further. Its a very interesting look at the inside world of foster homes in 1970’s America. Its also fascinating to read of Dave’s tactics for survival in a world he didn’t know how to relate to.

The final book (A Man Named Dave) details his rise from the ashes of his childhood life. Dave joins the airforce and becomes sucessful in the world. But ofcourse, he still has 1,001 demons and issues to deal with. What’s admirable about Dave, is that he goes after it all. He might hurt, he might not understand – but he never gives up, never stops trying. Dave also eventually falls in love and finds meaning through his relationship with his son. And somehow, he manages to find it in his heart to forgive his mother.

Dave’s recovery and deep-filled desire to help other “at-risk” children is awe-inspiring.

Whilst reading this book at this time in my life was a little bit… dicey for my internal emotional world, I couldn’t stop reading it. It was literally a page-turner of the best kind, despite the horrific content.

I’m still not sure where I’m at right now, given the weight of the book. But am I supremely glad I read it. He’s just another example of the kind of person we can all choose to be – someone who rises high above the past and strides with purpose and strength into a much brighter future.

~Svasti