Forty pieces of silver – part 2

Tags

40th birthday, Learnings, life lessons, Wisdom

Stairs and flowers - the adornment of every day items is rife in Bali. And wonderful.

A little delayed, but finally here’s 21-40.

Perhaps a lot of this stuff is very obvious to you. But I’ve reason to believe that for others, that’s not the case. For me, anything I can offer that might benefit another person is a worthy task.

Even if you’re only reminded of your own learnings, then this list is useful.

But just maybe, there’s something new here for you. Or something that inspires your own inner reflections.

Blessings to everyone!

[Read 1 – 20 here]

21. Sensitivity is not a negative trait – instead, it’s helpful information to ensure you’re doing the best thing for yourself. Sure it has its pros and cons but overall, being sensitive to life will mean you’re being true to yourself.

22. Learn to dance. Even if you think you have two left feet. Dancing brings love, life and joy into your body. It also creates awareness between your physical self and your mind. Which is endlessly important.

23. We all need to learn surrender. To ourselves. Against our struggles. Because surrender is the pre-cursor to Grace.

24. Learn to sing. Even if you think you can’t. Sing from the heart with beautiful words. Personally, I love kirtan but whatever works for you. Signing opens your heart chakra and is healing for body, mind and soul. Also, the more your sing, the more you will be able to sing. True story.

25. Keep practicing. Recently I’ve been teaching my 4.5 year old niece how to do somersaults. Every time she does one she shows improvement. So she tells me that she’ll keep on practicing. This is how we learn to be skilled at anything, which is something we forget with age.

26. Examine and shake up your patterns. Often, our anxieties and fears are linked to the way we live our lives as opposed to who we are. Sometimes we forget there’s a difference.

27. Be generous with your time, money and possessions. Western culture is very “me/mine”. This sort of thinking intimates that if we give to others, we won’t have enough for ourselves. But Abundance actually comes from generosity. Because being generous keeps the flow of energy moving. At first this seems anti-intuitive but it’s one of the truest things I know.

28. Fear is not meant to stop you from taking action, even though stopping is generally the first response we have. But fear is just information, meant to help us figure out our next steps.

29. Take a completely solo travel trip at least once in your lifetime. If you dare. Initially it’s a very scary thing to do but it’ll change your world.

30. Explore your opposites. If you’re always a bit of a push-over, try being more hard-nosed. If you’re always angry, try greeting everyone with love and a smile. Without a doubt you’ll learn something about yourself.

31. If you sensibilities don’t match the culture you were born into, don’t worry. There are plenty of us who are in the same boat, because there isn’t just one style of living or way of life for everyone. Choosing differently from your family, friends or society does not make you less successful or valuable than anyone else. Translation: you don’t have to get married, have a mortgage, kids and two dogs in order to be “okay”.

32. You won’t always get what you need from other people. Even those who are “meant” to be there for us. It’s far better to develop your own capacity for self-nurturing and self-love. That way, you’ll never be without the things you need.

33. Friends will disappoint you. But usually, the disappointment comes from having expectations of their behaviour or actions in the first place. In other words – our own thoughts on what we think other people should do. How crazy is that when you break it down? Loving your friends/family without expectations means they can never disappoint you.

34. Bad things, terrible things happen to all kinds of people. Maybe even to you. They truly suck beyond belief. But honestly, none of it means anything about your personality, your self-worth, who you are OR who you can be.

35. There really are no coincidences in the world. Just a flow of the energy of life. If you’re working with that flow, lots of things start to look like coincidences.

36. If the life you’re living isn’t making you happy, work out what will. Then make plans to work towards that life. It’ll be worth it.

37. Both the mind and body need to be kept flexible. Do yoga asana for the body and meditation for the mind. Without both of these things, our world grows smaller and more uncomfortable with age. Without flexibility, change becomes difficult and negativity becomes predominant. Our happiness depends on the flexibility of both.

38. Self-sacrifice for others is not always anyone’s best interests, no matter how duty-bound you feel. Before we can help others, we really do need to help and support ourselves. This has to be a regular activity and not just a one-off.

39. Even if you don’t think you’re a writer, write your stories. Don’t worry about how it sounds. Just write it anyway. You don’t have to show anyone if you don’t want to (this is called journaling). But write it out. It’s the cheapest form of self-expression/therapy around.

40. Finally, what he said. Because he says it so well, and I completely agree:

As before, feel free to share any of your own wisdom below!

~ Svasti x

Forty pieces of silver – part 1

Tags

40th birthday, life learnings, Wisdom

As promised, the following represents a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve learned over the years. Forty of them, in fact. One for each year I’ve been alive, although I probably learned most of them in the last ten years.

It seems one’s 30’s are about the getting of wisdom. So I’m guessing the 40’s are when that wisdom is consolidated…

Most often I learned these things the hard way, which seems to be just how it is in my life. 😉

Here’s 1-20, with 21-40 being posted in another day or so…

1. We all know there’s no handbook to this thing called life. But it’s not until you start hitting your late 30’s that you really, really wish there was.
2. If you know what you want to do when you grow up, then you’re fortunate. Pretty much most of us don’t and feel awkward and weird about it for the longest time. If only we realised how many others were in the same boat, maybe we’d be more okay with it.
3. Don’t choose a career just for the money. Find what you love and go for that with all of your heart. Honestly, I think it’s the only way to avoid the pitfalls of modern life, which is hard enough!
4. Take time out of your life and your own problems to help other people. Do volunteer work of some kind. Donate money or clothes to people in need. It will help put the world and your place in it, into perspective.
5. Regardless of what you believe or don’t believe, we’re all interconnected. Truly. Our molecules are the same as those found in outer space and the air you breathe has been inhaled by everyone else. We are water, space, fire, ether and air. We are no different from mountains or comets or oceans or ants. Everything is a part of the whole.
6. Never ever take anything on face value. Which is not to say you shouldn’t trust people, but always question and confirm what others tell you, for yourself.
7. Life must be experienced directly and first-hand. Advice can be useful, but ultimately your experiences of being alive are unique to you. So go out there and have them.
8. Most of what we call life is a series of perceptions layered with our projected meanings and ideas. Very rarely do we know what’s really going on. This is one of the main reasons I do yoga – to strip away the filters and stores so that I have a clearer view of reality as it really is. Which often has no bearing on what we assume it is!
9. Be stubborn. Don’t back down when there’s something you really want. The reason I think I’ve managed to heal myself from PTSD and depression is because I refused to believe that I couldn’t. I’m applying that same principal to healing my thyroid condition. I don’t know how successful I’ll be with that, but I’m certainly much healthier than I was when I was first diagnosed.
10. However, balance your stubbornness with self-reflection (you mightn’t always be right), softness and sometimes even yielding (even when you’re sure you are right).
11. But also, be curious about yourself (I borrowed this one from Kerry). Get to know yourself, the way you’d get to know a friend. Find out what makes you tick.
12. Be truthful with yourself, always. In your yoga practice, and in your life. In yoga, this means you’ll happily accept where you’re at without pushing and forcing (and possibly causing yourself an injury). In life, it means always making the best decisions for yourself.
13. Allowing your life to be dictated by fear or anger makes for a very small world. I know beautiful and brave people who suffer anxiety, PTSD and other mental health conditions that make normal life really hard. But they find ways to keep living anyway.
14. Never get involved with someone unless you’re genuinely interested in them. And not just because the sex is good. It isn’t in your best interest, nor theirs. It never turns out well and sometimes it can turn out really badly. Read some of the archives of this blog if you don’t believe me.
15. There are endless layers to everything, contrary to the Hollywood version of life. The healing of grief, pain, trauma, anger etc… there’s no magic pill. Just when you think you’ve worked through it all, there’s more. Keep going.
16. Clichéd as it sounds, you will be happiest when you can accept yourself as you are – perceived warts and all. Although not the STD kind of warts. Go see your doctor about those. 😉
17. All those things you think you need to hide from the world – they are your strengths. Be okay with being vulnerable and imperfect. Everyone else is, too.
18. If anyone ever tells you that you’re too sensitive, giggle and explain that that isn’t it. Actually, it’s just that you’re just more sensitive than most people and you were born that way.
19. Actually, if someone ever tells you that there’s ANYthing wrong with you, give them the same kind of response. Lady Gaga got it right! Baby, you were born this way!
20. You never really lose touch with your inner child, you just forget about them a bit. Remembering is important. Make friends with Mini-You. She/he will tell you all of your secrets. Honouring Mini-You will bring you happiness. Promise.

[Read 21 – 40 here]

~Svasti

P.S. Feel free to share some of your own hard-earned wisdom!

Best laid plans yadda yadda

Tags

40th birthday, Anywhere but here, Bali, debt free, getaway escape, huzzah, Ms Dudley-Do-Right, Sayonara Melbourne farewell tour, vaporised, warring factions

A wee urban double rainbow...

So here’s the latest.

By December, I’ll have saved up the most money I’ve EVER saved in my entire life. This saving has of course been with a plan(s) in mind. Naturally.

Earlier this year I was hoping to attend a yoga retreat with fellow Kali Girrrrl Linda, in Bali. But that didn’t happen. Then, I thought I might make it to a retreat with my Guru mid-year. But my work situation isn’t stable enough for that – I’ve been working from one three month contract to the next since the beginning of March. Then there’s been my health situation which could also be described as unstable.

So this money has just been accumulating in my high interest bank account since then, and about a month or so back, I formed a new idea: to celebrate my 40^th birthday (in December) somewhere I hadn’t been before.

Shit yeah!! Eventually I settled on the idea of going back to Bali but seeing new parts of that beautiful Tantrik island. I’ve got a chronic a case of “anywhere but here” going on and for my birthday, I just wanna be somewhere else, y’know?

But.

My conscious is screaming at me. That grown-up, party-pooping, early to bed, eat the right foods, kiss-ass, sensible, logical, Ms Dudley-Do-Right part of my consciousness. Holy Shiva, sometimes I HATE that voice! Because as much as I want to treat myself for my birthday (since there sure aint anyone else around to do it), my lovely getaway escape idea is in conflict with other goals that are just as dear to my heart.

Like, paying off my debts so I can start saving to get outta town on a more permanent basis.

Crap-balls! Ms Dudley-Do-Right is… arghhh! She’s right!!

I haven’t really talked about it on my blog this year, but since formulating my Grand-Bold-Stupid-Reckless-Awesome-Totally-Kicking-Life-Plan, I’ve been diligently reducing my debts all year long. And despite my outrageous health care bills, I’m actually making headway.

Folks, can I hear a HUZZAH?!!

I put my budgeting success down to spending the bare minimum on clothes and unnecessary “things”, without completely being a miser.

But also, it’s because I cut up my second credit card (the one with the highest interest rate) and haven’t used it at all. The only transactions on that card have been credits and it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see my credit card statement.

That card and its remaining balance are due to be completely vaporised VERY SOON.

Here’s why: I’m yet to visit my accountant, but I know I’ll be getting some $$$ back from this year’s tax return. And those delightful tax return dollars will in all likelihood pay off that card completely.

Here’s the dilemma – all the money I’ve been saving for yoga retreats that didn’t happen (while making regular payments on both cards, mind you) is enough to pay off my other credit card. Now, I’m the first to admit that it’s not as flashy as a holiday, BUT being entirely debt free would be a pretty kick-ass gift to myself for my birthday, right?

And yet, the less grown up kidult within is pouting about this strategy. Because I really, REALLY wanna be somewhere else for my birthday and I haven’t had a proper holiday in forever. Plus, all of my health problems this year have made 2011 kinda sucky…

Of course, another hitch with the holiday idea is that my current contract finishes at the end of November and right now I don’t know if it’ll be extended into the New Year. I continue to look for a more permanent role or longer term contract but so far, no luck (the universe it seems, won’t let me take jobs that are too soul-sucking anymore!). And even if I do have a job, those two weeks I want to be away for would be leave without pay. Meaning I’d have more $$ to cover.

But I think I’ve come up with a workable compromise that might just appease the warring factions of my mind. A shorter trip – five days, which includes two weekend days so I’d only be away from my job (assuming I have one then) for three days. Possibly I can even still go to Bali because the flights are cheap! Or maybe somewhere in Australia I haven’t been before. Hmmm…

I need to investigate.

Essentially, this compromise means I won’t blow all of my funds on a holiday, and I can put a goodly portion towards my debt-free status.

Which means I’m one step closer to being out of this place.

Which could very well mean that 2012 is my Sayonara, Melbourne Farewell Tour.

Pretty much all factions of my mind kinda like that idea…

I’ll keep y’all informed when I know more. 😀

~ Svasti