Find the joy

Tags

Asana, Chinese New Year, Compassion, earthquake, find the joy, Haiti, hope, Meditation, perfect yoga bodies, Queensland floods, raining cats and donkeys, restorative, selfless, sharks, Sun City Picture House, Year of the Rabbit, Yogis

From a bush outside my apartment...

Some yogis never practice asana, did you know that?

It’s not the usual path for sure, but there ARE people who were born with already wide-open hearts, those so selfless they wouldn’t think twice about giving the shirt off their back to someone who needed it more than they do.

Most of us however… we need all that asana and meditation  in order to see clearly and enable us to start acting from the heart as a default first course of action.

According to the Chinese New Year, we’re moving into the Year of the Rabbit and apparently 2011 is meant to be a little slower. More restorative. And who couldn’t do with twelve months of that? I know I sure can… time to recoup and rebuild, yeah?

Friends, one and all – I ask you to take the time to watch this half hour documentary about life in Haiti one year after the earthquake.

It’s a beautiful tale about the fostering of love and fun amongst the Haitian people, despite the wretchedness of their situation. This is also a story of compassion: people helping each other with the most unimaginable tasks regardless of their own circumstances;  and how to not be destroyed by complete and utter darkness when life as you know it is over and you’ve lost so very much.

Have your hankie ready, but also be prepared to feel jubilant and blissful no matter what. The website for the doco is here: Sun City Picture House

Share it around.

Also, take a look at Diane’s post over at The Everything Yoga blog about Big Yoga. She kindly referenced my Body Talk interview with The BlissChick in a discussion about how we’ve just GOT to get over this idea about “perfect yoga bodies”. And that’s another helping of compassion right there.

There are sharks swimming down the streets of Ipswich in Queensland, folks. And it’s still raining cats and donkeys here, all day and night. But we do find ways to go on, even as our hearts are breaking for the state of this planet and it’s people and animals.

Nothing is permanent, nothing is forever. Like the dude in the doco says, find the joy in order not to be completely crushed.

Having been completely crushed before, I highly recommend the alternative: find the joy, everybody!

~Svasti

P.S. More coming soon on my review of Carried by a Promise!

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Samskaras in samsara – part 2

Tags

Asana, Asatoma Sat Gamaya, Ayurveda, bandha, Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, dance, Deepak Chopra, duality, Karma, Krishna, Limitations, martial arts, Meditation, metaphysical, mula, non-dual reality, pranayama, psychoanalysis, Reality, Samsara, samskara, self-loathing, Shanti Path, Slim Calm Sexy, Swami Niranjananda Sawaswati, Tara Stiles, Wake up, Yoga, yogic philosophy, Yogis

I didn’t take this photo, but I’ve driven past this statue of Arjuna in Bali. It’s magnificent!

[Read part 1 first]

Okay, so enough with the psychoanalysis of our western self-loathing mind-set for a moment.

How about we go beyond the physical, to the metaphysical for a bit? Yeah?

Okay, so let’s take a tiny peek at some of the subtleties of yogic philosophy.

Note #1: I’m going to do my best to explain these rather complex concepts to you as passed down from my wonderful teachers. Of course, my understanding is still limited and imperfect but hey… I’ll give it a go. Also, there’s only so much I can pack into a single blog post!

Note #2: This is another long post. Try to hang in there!!

Samsara is considered to be this world of duality – the place where the universe can experience its Self as Other than its Self. ‘Nuff said about that for now…

And samskaras are deeply embedded patterns of energy within collective energy forms that manifest as individual human beings. “Pattern” being the key word here – a pattern comes from actions being repeated over and over again. And of course, the more often a pattern is repeated, the harder it is to change it. Kinda like a train running on the only tracks it’s got.

Samskara is a very peculiar thing. It is the library within a DNA molecule, containing everything that we have imbibed. One DNA molecule contains the total information of all of the libraries in the world combined. Samskaras are like that too. Samskaras are the inputs of volumes and volumes of books which we carry within us and which have been accumulating over millions of years. When these samskaras come to the surface of the mind, they are very powerful.
~From Yoga Darshan, Swami Niranjananda Sawaswati

A samskara then, is a thought or activity that’s become part of how the world appears to us. It can define our preferences, personality, understanding of other people and things. And with those definitions come limitations – what is subjectively true and what is not. However, limitations aren’t actually “bad”, not in the least.

In fact, they are key to our ability to exist in as humans where we all appear as separate entities, cut off from source/the universe/god etc. So, samskaras can be considered to be both useful (i.e. they comprise and make possible our limited view of the world) and problematic (when we can’t discriminate between our limited view and a wider view).

Still with me?

Limitations are a naturally occurring construct of this world and universe. They are part of how we function, our identity, why we have certain opinions and emotions and ideas. Our samskaras interact with karma (another much-maligned and misunderstood yogic concept) and form a filter through which we view “reality”. As we know, reality at this level is different for everyone, and far from the non-dual view the rishis and wisdom masters speak of. Hence, our diversity of opinions!

However, one of the true goals of yoga and serious yogis is to free ourselves from the limitations of the dual world, while simultaneously existing in both the dual and the non-dual. In fact, we can’t exist in the non-dual without duality, because then it wouldn’t be a non-dual reality – for the non-dual to be truly non-dual, it also has to encompass duality (hope that makes sense!).

Asatoma Sat Gamaya
Lead me from the unreal to the Real

Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Lead me from the darkness to the Light

~Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

And so we yogis work to free ourselves from limited views through an intimate understanding of, and connection to our mind and body. The path to achieving this can include: asana, pranayama, mula, bandha, meditation, martial arts, dance, Ayurveda and so on. Usually, more than one of these methods is required to develop our mind-body awareness. Ultimately this MUST include long and deep hours of meditation (as opposed to say, fifteen minutes a day).

Freeing ourselves from limited views does not mean however, denying our anger or any other emotion. We need to go fully into the experience of being a human being in order to understand and liberate ourselves from the suffering of samsara. Because, how can you possibly be free of what you don’t understand?

As such, suppressing emotions or decrying other people’s anger as “un-yogic” is doing little more than keeping you stuck on those same train tracks, going around and around and around… and the more circuits of the train track you make, the harder it is to change. Get it?

It is tricky, because on the one hand we are here on this planet that exists in duality, and so we play by the rules of this world where interactions with people, our emotional states and experiences DO matter. But then, as we learn to drop into non-duality more and more (it comes in flashes or waves), we begin to see how much none of it really matters in the end. And things start to change as we begin to increasingly experience non-duality as our actual reality.

It can be both incredibly liberating and stupendously confusing at the same time…

And yet. We MUST learn to see the real from the unreal. This for me, is what makes the false and harmful messages about body image (burn that bra fat, minimise those wider-than-desired hips) so completely alarming.

Because it is being condoned not just by Tara Stiles (who, as a yogi with connections to Deepak Chopra should bloody well know better), but by so many other people involved in yoga.

The outcry in return seems to be all “don’t hate on Tara”, “don’t hate on anything we want to define as yoga” and “you people who are complaining are just simply un-yogic”.

BUT all of the folks in that camp – including Tara – are missing the glaringly obvious point here:

Yoga is about liberation from samskaras and the human condition of suffering. NOT about playing into and re-enforcing those patterns for ourselves and others. NOT about continuing to make people think there is something wrong about their physical appearance that needs to be fixed – this is a mass personal and cultural samskara and one that’s deeply embedded!!

This isn’t a personal attack on Tara or anyone else, but as my own Guru would say: WHERE IS YOUR MIND??

My criticism comes from asking: what kind of yogi supports messages that invoke deep-seated insecurities and self-esteem issues of others? From generating and confirming samskaras as real instead of limited thinking that one can learn to revoke?

This is not good work. And it is not yogic in the least. In fact, those in the yoga community who buy into this, saying that it’s all okay, are demonstrating minds that are still deeply embedded in their own samskaras, whatever they might be. Some things are NOT okay, especially coming from yogis.

Seriously, anyone who thinks Tara Stiles’ “Slim Calm Sexy” yoga is an okay way to market yoga to the uninitiated masses is not engaging in enough discernment or discriminate thinking. And those uninitiated masses? They probably spend most of their time feeling deeply unhappy and thinking self-loathing thoughts anyway, and don’t NEED anyone else to point it out to them!

Even as Tara et all are claiming “it doesn’t matter how people come to yoga” – and I’ll admit that’s generally true – in some ways it actually DOES. Because by pressing the self-esteem/physical appearance buttons you’re embedding those samskaras just a little more deeply than before and messing with someone’s appreciation of what yoga is all about. Who knows how much extra work – conscious and sub-consciously – will be involved in undoing all of that?

Basically, the Tara Stiles school of yoga marketing is unhealthy and unethical.

And as another teacher I’ve studied with would put it… WAKE UP!!

Or as I’d put it… WAKE (THE FUCK) UP!!

This is not a popularity contest where we have to be friends with everyone and accept everything that’s said about yoga, simply because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

SO WAKE UP!!

Remember, Krishna was a warrior and he worked very hard to make Arjuna fight a battle. It’s not always about having the most friends, but about cutting through the crap and seeing clearly.

Lead me from the unreal to the freaking real, already!

~Svasti

Samskaras in samsara – part 1

Tags

Amazonian, Asana, Barbie doll, bra fat, Compassion, disingenuous, fat burning, Fry your fat on the mat, hamster wheel, Healing, Heart-Chakra Opening, infomercials, jiva mukti, liberation, Living Liberation, Love, Meditation, modern-day sorcery, Radical Self-Acceptance, Self-esteem, Slim Calm Sexy Yoga, Tara Stiles, un-yogic, Unreasonable Joy, Yin Yoga, Yoga, yoga teachers

Thanks, Yoga Dawg!! 🙂

I’ve been thinking this one through and I wanted to break down my outrage for y’all a little more re: the Tara Stiles saga.

I’m much calmer now. Not so much with the angry. But still, this latest “yoga scandal” resonates with me in a way that none of the other recent issues have (e.g. see Toe Sox-Gate), and I’m gonna explain why. In detail. So bear with me, okay?

To kick things off: Tara Stiles has called her book and presumably “her” yoga “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga”. She promotes it as such and clearly believes in this message. However for me, this is very problematic.

The title itself is disingenuous.

What I mean by that is this: if you do enough yoga or ANY other kind of exercise, you will lose weight as a by-product. And for that you don’t need to buy the “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga” book. Whether 15 minutes a day of yoga is enough to deliver the sort of results Tara is claiming… well, that’s debatable.

As for “Slim”? Really? There are people in this world – people like me – who, even at their thinnest, could NEVER be described as thin. I might look in shape, toned and slim for my build (think tall Amazonian proportions, broad shoulders, busty, curvy), but no one would call me slim when there’s a world of underfed actresses and models to be compared to.

Calm, eh? Hmmm. Yesss… a little meditation and regular old yoga will help you with the calm factor. So will getting enough sleep.

And Sexy? So erm… is sexiness implied in relation to Slim? Are you only Sexy if you’re Slim and Calm? Can you possibly be Sexy and neither Slim or Calm?

And that’s just for starters.

Honestly, I don’t really care if Tara has “sensible” You Tube videos or other “helpful” tips in her book, as has been pointed out by other bloggers. And I don’t buy the “poor Tara, she’s just a victim of the marketing machine selling her book, it’s not her fault” excuse, either.

Surely, if she truly objected to the way it was going to be marketed, she’d pull out of the deal and/or find another publisher? I know I would!

And let’s not forget her “Fry your fat on the mat” segment which directly supports those advertising messages! I don’t mean to be snooty, but I’d like to point out that in that TV spot she was holding standard yoga poses for only a minute or two and calling them “fat burning” exercises. On live TV being broadcast to millions of viewers.

In direct contrast, a male yoga teacher friend of mine talks about asana in terms of their healing benefits. Yep, HEALING.

And hey, let’s not forget that Yin Yoga (which I haven’t practiced, but Linda teaches) involves holding asana for MUCH longer than a minute (with ZERO mentions of fat burning!).

Guess what I’m saying is that certain attributes have been assigned to Tara’s yoga style and the benefits promised are actually true for doing ANY kind of yoga. But generally, those things are considered by-products of the practice, and not the end-goal.

So, already there’s a major disconnect happening here for me.

But don’t get me wrong: I think it’s perfectly fine to want to lose weight (healthily, I might add). If that’s what you think you need. And in some cases for reasons to do with health and longevity, weight loss is desirable. But not to make you better, calmer or sexier.

Of course, this is the common mythology of our society and it begins the moment young girls are given their first Barbie and Ken dolls: thinner (for girls)/more muscular (for guys) = Better.

BUT THIS IS NOT YOGA.

And in my humble opinion, it is NOT okay for yoga teachers to reinforce the message that you aren’t okay the way you are. You’re fat. You need to do MY yoga in order to lose weight. Fry your fat! Buy my book!!

(My Guru refers to marketing as modern-day sorcery because of its ability to manipulate people to do what you want them to do.)

This kind of marketing message is anti EVERYTHING that yoga stands for, and it’s one of the few things that I’d describe as “un-yogic” – a word that in general I detest and think is used as a slur/insult to judge others (and therefore is in itself, un-yogic. Doh!). But that’s a whole other post!

The very branding of yoga as “Slim Calm Sexy” with skimpily-clad images of Tara infers: “Be like me/look like me”.

It doesn’t even matter if she never says that explicitly – the message is there like a blinking neon light because it’s tapping directly into all of the pre-existing “lose 100lbs and get a life” late-night infomercials that have been playing ad nausea in our collective unconscious for far too many years.

Now, here’s a cold hard fact: depending on your metabolism/doshas, genes, physical build and bone structure, you might NEVER look like Tara. Ever.

Then… what happens when those 15 minutes of “fat burning” yoga a day DON’T get rid of one’s bra fat (I’m assuming this refers to the little roll that forms under the back of the bra)? Because let’s face it – this is NOT going to be enough for some people at all.

Note: There’s no one-size-fits-all yoga routine that’s guaranteed to make a person lose weight!

==Also, as Nadine has rightly pointed out in the comments, there’s nothing wrong with bra fat anyway==

So, if someone doesn’t get the result they expect, what will it mean about their impression of yoga and more importantly, their relationship to themselves? Has yoga, then, just added another nail in the coffin of someone’s self-esteem instead of offering them a powerful means of liberation from such things?

This sort of thinking in Tara’s book and marketing in general is symptomatic of the “I’ll be happy when…” disease. When I’m richer, thinner, better looking, when I’ve had that nose/boob job, got a better job, a lover, children and so on… THEN I’ll be happy.

Of course, “I’ll be happy when…” is a lie.

And the cure to this malaise is NEVER more improvements or possessions. I mean, we know this, right? Because when we do get what we want, we’re still not as happy as we thought we’d be, right? Like a hamster on its wheel, we keep spinning on the spot thinking we’re getting somewhere but in fact, we’re digging ourselves a deeper and deeper hole.

The ONLY way out of the hamster wheel is to fully buy into Radical Self-Acceptance: that everything about you is perfect just the way you are… there’s no need to keep running, and searching. Everything you want and need is already right here, and you’ve just got to learn to see it.

Right now, some of you might be thinking: OMG, that sounds like a huge pile of horse dung, right?

How could I possibly be okay if I don’t have movie star looks and/or a model shaped body? How can I like or love myself if I’m not this generalised western concept of everything that’s acceptably attractive, fun and social? If I don’t have the right clothes, a house, a car, a family, lots of friends. HOW COULD ANY OF THAT BE OKAY?!!

Well, because who you are is not limited to your appearance, clothes, your job, how you live, your friends, hobbies and habits. None of those things!

And because if you like, you can choose to start exploring what else you might be. What other wondrous possibilities might be associated with being a human being in this inter-connected interplay of the universe!

And this, my friends, is what yoga is all about.

Because yoga is, amongst other things, Radical Self-Acceptance, Unreasonable Joy (i.e. joy without reason or cause), Heart-Chakra Opening, generating Love and Compassion, and the tradition of Living Liberation (jiva mukti)…

WHAT??! You thought yoga was just about stretching or frying your fat or getting a toned butt? Erm, sorry. That’s. Just. Not. True.

There’s much more to come! And here’s part 2..

~Svasti

P.S. Here’s a few related posts on the subject in no particular order. I don’t necessarily agree with every post, but feel free to make up your own mind!

From Nadine: The making of a yoga body

From The BlissChick: DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK

From EcoYogini: Selling Yoga: The Trends that Define our Culture

From Curvy Yoga: Yoga, weight loss, and transformation

From Brooks Hall: Slim Sexy Savvy and Yoga-sex

From Linda-Sama #1: Words almost fail me

From Linda-Sama #2: Seva is sexy

From Linda-Sama #3: Burn your blubber, fry your fat

From Linda-Sama #4: Upon further reflection of yoga noise

From Yoga Dawg: The New Epidemic: Bra Fat

From Yoga Dork: Tara Stiles Launches ‘Slim, Calm, Sexy’ Yoga to Acclaim, Insult, Revolt (see marketing)

From It’s All Yoga, Baby: Toesoxnudegate: the feminists & Kathryn Budig speak up

Yoga, Grace and time out

Tags

Asana, bones, Dagnabbit, dancing dust motes, Dyson, fox hole, freelance, Grace, herbs in the window, Lululemon, marmas, mirages, mission-critical, new things, remedial massage, security blanket, Shadow Yoga, substitute teaching, Tara Stiles, time out, Universe, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life, yoga teaching

Just to be a touch more specific (as opposed to my previous post), here’s one of those New Things I hinted at but with a few more details this time.

Well, it’s a new-old thing really: last Friday I finished up a five week stint of freelance work. Originally it was meant to be only two weeks. And when I started at the very end of July, I had several seemingly decent options for more permanent/long term work.

I was even verballed: “We definitely want you, you’re the right person for the job!”

Uh huh.

But as the freelance work was extended, the other offers evaporated in ways most surprising. From one angle they looked very solid and convincing but shifting to the side a little,  seems they were nothing but dancing dust motes glistening in the sunlight. I’d tell you how it all went down but y’know, the upshot is that those so-called possible jobs weren’t real.

It was weird, and not weird. I mean, before going into some of those interviews I KNEW already that they weren’t gonna work out. In one instance, I looked into the face of one of the people interviewing me and thought: This is a very angry man and I wouldn’t care to work for him. In yet another, I realised even as I was doing my best to spruik my skills, I knew I didn’t want to work there.

So what was wrong with these people and places? Probably nothing. I think it has more to do with me (and more on that soon, too)…

Meanwhile, I was totally rocking the freelance job. Possibly because the actual work involved was stuff I’d mastered long ago so it wasn’t challenging. Not that that matters for freelance work, and still, I LOVE making stuff in the digital space. The people were nice, and it was a twenty-minute cycle from my place when the traffic was heavy. Fifteen minutes on a good day!

Even at this job however, there were mirages… people sniffing around to see if they could hire me. The only problem was that the job that was available was the one I was doing for them already. Which means that basically I would’ve been ridiculously bored within a few months. So, not ideal…

Then last Wednesday I was unexpectedly told that Friday would be my last day. They’d found someone for the role who was more “mid-weight” in their experience (and presumably not costing them as much as I did). And that was that… I was out of there. The way of the world in the freelance space!

So I’m once again faced with joblessness. And I know that a couple of you have outrageously suggested that perhaps this is all a sign to move on to a New Path! Yes, yes… I get that! And I get that from the Universe as well, who is being rather persistent in Her attempts to push me towards New Things, too.

Dagnabbit!

So, on top of the substitute teaching I’m doing with the blokey yogis (last week’s class didn’t happen BTW, because too many of them were away but we’re soooo ON for this Friday), I’ve also scored another subbing gig. This is a one-off for now, but in general I’m on their books!

And it’s all thanks to the wonderful Sevapuri (@yidl), who I became friends with via Twitter. We met up a few months back when he was in Melbourne (from Sydney) for dinner and a chat about all things yoga. Recently, he kindly suggested me as a sub to the Melbourne Yoga In Daily Life school.

So last Saturday I sat in on the class I’ll be teaching (a very easy/general level class) and got the run down on turning lights and heaters on and off etc. As it turns out, this week I’ll be teaching a Hatha/Vinyasa blokes class on Friday (very early in the morning!), followed by a super-gentle/traditional Hatha class mid-morning on Saturday. Quite a nice balance really.

And… I do hear you, Universe. I do. I get that I’m meant to do more yoga teaching. BUT I need you to understand that right now, just teaching a few classes here and there isn’t gonna pay my rent. So I’d appreciate a little leeway and I’d ESPECIALLY appreciate a semi-long term/more permanent job in the interim. Yeah?

If we can get that happening, then I promise that I’ll step up my plans for yoga teaching!

In fact, I’ve already started. Last Saturday on my way back from the Yoga In Daily Life school, I dropped in at Lululemon to inquire about running classes there. I’m now on their yoga teacher list!

Also, after thinking about it for months, today I finally took down the number of a church hall round the corner from my place. I’m gonna call them and see what they charge to rent out their space. There’s also a PCYC just down the road from me I’ll be getting in touch with, too.

Truthfully, I’ve been quite afraid of taking on yoga teaching properly. For reasons I might explore in another post sometime!

But then in light of the whole Tara-Stiles-fat-burning-yoga/hey-yoga-is-anything-we-want-it-to-be saga… well, I’m feeling more confident in what I have to offer. I mean, I know there’s this whole new skill I’m learning (called teaching other people!!), but my knowledge of yoga and years of training means that yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve already got something to share.

In some ways I still consider myself a beginner in terms of my yoga studies. Okay, perhaps I’m a little more than a beginner, but there’s still SO MUCH I don’t know! But hey, if something I’ve learned in the past nine or so years can provide inspiration, an opening, some joy etc, to others, then whoohoo!

Right…

I made very good use of today, my first day of not having a job again. I can’t quite believe it, but I did something incredibly domestic (and much needed): took my Dyson vacuum cleaner in for a service. There’s one service center in Melbourne, and it’s only open 9-5 Monday-Friday. Of course! So heck yeah, why not use my time off to sort out such ridiculous things, eh?

Then after a rather mission-critical (i.e. no food in house) grocery shop, I ate lunch at a delightful little cafe near my place, where the above photo was taken. Don’t you just love the herbs in the window? I was drawn to them, and sat at the bench there to eat a most flavoursome minestrone.

For the afternoon, I’d booked a remedial massage for that pesky shoulder of mine. It is getting better BTW, slowly but surely with a combination of yoga, physio, massage, and probably some acupuncture thrown in soon, too. It’s still rather painful, but I’m able to do much more yogasana than I could earlier this year. Which is a win! Things like Catuspadapitham (table top) have been beyond my pain threshold until recently. As has Sarvangasana (shoulder stand) and Chakrasana (wheel) to name but a few. Now these movements are slowly coming back!

And then, oh… more Shadow Yoga this evening. Goodness but I LOVE that practice! Although I haven’t mastered the series yet (ha! suspect mastery is a while off still), I’m quite amazed at how much stronger I am and how much less I fall over/out of the asana. Interestingly though, none of this strength comes from stronger muscles as such… it’s more about the mind and the bones.

Incidentally, Shadow Yoga is only the third time I’ve ever heard anyone talk about moving from the bones in relation to asana. The first person was my Guru. Our retreat in Bali about four years ago was focused on asana and we had many discussions about awareness of and movement from the bones. I don’t think I understood it all properly then! Linda has also spoken about bones, and about her teacher Paul Grilley’s work in the area.

And now with Shadow Yoga, there’s always a discussion on various marmas and bones, as well as the breath (but of course). Actually, it’s probably time I added another Shadow-specific post here…

So that was my day. Basically, I’ve decided to embrace my time out while continuing to look for more work. But in the mean time, I’m also considering how to diversify my income through teaching more yoga classes, freelance writing and who knows what else!

The first time I was out of work for a long period of time was last year and I pretty much fell to pieces (admittedly I WAS still in the deathly grip of depression!). The second time was July. ALL of July really! And I did better then, but still, I spent most of my time holed up in my fox hole. Still a bit afraid and unsure of what to do with myself. This time I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do.

So I am listening, Ma. I am. Just please don’t whip away all of my security blankets/support too quickly! Thanks ever-so-much…

~Svasti

Body image issues, yoga & Tara Stiles is a sell-out

Tags

abundant, anorexia, Asana, BlissChick, cheap shots, Giving, Intimacy, karma yoga, Mark Whitwell, marketing, Meditation, pranayama, Puja, regenerating, Self-esteem, sell out, seva, Slim Calm Sexy Yoga, Swami Satyananda, Tara Stiles, weight loss programs, Yoga, yoga nidra

Here’s the story of a very young girl…

One day, walking home from school this coltish lass felt so good about life and about herself. She thought she was beautiful and felt like a supermodel, convinced that she looked fantastic as she pranced along the sidewalk like it was some kind of fashion runway. It was an excellent ten minutes – the length of her walk home.

Coming in through the back door, she floated to the bathroom mirror to admire her magnificence. And she was heartbroken. There was not a prominent cheekbone or feline feature anywhere in sight. She looked NOTHING like the models in her Dolly and Cleo magazines. NOTHING.

And combined with her blonde and beautiful best friend that all the boys adored, and her brother’s daily taunts about her looks, she spent the rest of her life trying to see herself clearly. Which was difficult, because every time she looked in the mirror the words “not pretty” resonated somewhere in the back of her mind…

This is my story, but it’s also the story of numerous other young girls. From a ridiculously early age our lives are spent being compared to other women – by ourselves, others or both.

Unless we hit the gene-pool jackpot, most women start their lives feeling insecure and “not good enough”. Even then it sometimes isn’t enough! I mean, a girl I went to primary and high school with was pretty, blonde and built like a bird. She was also very good at athletics, competing at a state level. She was very popular, too, and went out with the hottest guy at school. And yet this girl who seemed to have everything STILL didn’t think she was good enough, and ended up with anorexia.

Our culture places so much value on physical appearance, academic or sporting prowess, instead of emotional maturity and openness. As such, many westerners have barely any connection to their bodies. There’s so much living in the head, divorced from the heart. We think too much, we’re reliant on external gratification and live in a highly visual world where beauty is given a very narrow definition.

Finding yoga

It’s no surprise then, that when I found yoga I felt very happy and relieved. Because I discovered yoga wasn’t about how I looked so much as how I felt. How my body and mind connect and who I am when I strip away fleeting things such as labels, my job, and physical appearance. Who am I when I close my eyes to meditate and the visible world melts away? And who are you?

So I practice yoga (including asana, pranayama, meditation, yoga nidra, puja and more) and I feel good about myself, no matter what anyone else thinks. In fact, I find I don’t CARE about what anyone else thinks. Because yoga opens my heart. It connects me to myself and to other people and it’s about LOVE. It doesn’t separate and segregate and it sure as hell isn’t about what size clothes I wear.

Yet still, I struggle on and off with body image/not good enough issues. I did a guest post about such things over on BlissChick’s blog.

Yoga helps me very much with such things, and it gets a little easier every day to look in the mirror and not instantly think I am repulsive looking. Most women have this to contend with in some way or another, no matter how they look.

Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to go to a Mark Whitwell workshop. Fortunate, not just because of the wonderful yoga he has to share, but because he is a dyed in the wool Mother Earth worshipping feminist. He gets it in a way many women never will, and certainly few men.

Mark writes things like this about yoga:

…Yoga is every person’s direct intimacy with reality, an entirely abundant, regenerating, and nurturing power. This is yoga from the heart, for the heart, and it promises health, intimacy, well-being, and joy…

One to one intimacy is as close and as necessary as your breath is to your body. In fact the practice of this inherent union of breath and body allows for the inherent union in all relatedness. It is an utter pleasure and unquestioned continuity with everything. It is Ha tha Yoga, “strength receiving.” Actual and natural, non obsessive practice.

Mark spreads love, positivity, empowerment and damn good yoga around the world. And he gives marvelous hugs. He’s very real and approachable. He makes yoga fun and doable for those who might think it’s not for them.

And then…

Yoga and women get betrayed – by a woman!

There are people out there who call themselves yogis, and take the most external aspects of the practice and market that as a weight loss program like some kind of meal replacement product! Unbelievably, this is being fronted by a woman!

Yes, Tara Stiles, I’m talking about YOU and your Slim Calm Sexy Yoga.

I recommend reading Linda-Sama’s post about Tara’s latest efforts. I agree with Linda whole-heartedly and I find myself enraged by Tara Stiles.

So much so that I wrote this tweet:

Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to discover that Tara had replied to that message with this piece of nonsense:

Wow. Just WOW. My reply to Tara was this (and then a whole lot more!)

I cannot tell you how frightening I find this approach to marketing yoga. Or rather, yoga-like movements that have been called yoga, but have nothing to do with the practice in any way…

Cheap shots. We’re talking cheap shots to the already fragile self-esteem most women have (and let’s face it, this is not being marketed to men!). Fired off by a so-called yogi to get people to buy her book. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I know a BUNCH of accomplished and deeply realised yogis who do NOT have a perfect body. They are not a size 00, and probably never were. You could not call them slim per se, and yet they are happy, wonderful, calm and sexy people. They are yogis with big, huge, juicy hearts and so much wisdom and compassion that you can’t help but feel better from spending time around them.

And we have wonderful men like Mark Whitwell teaching yoga in a way that’s accessible and beautiful, and more than anything, authentic and genuine.

Or brilliant yogis like Swami Satyananda who couldn’t give a flying f#ck about “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga”. Yeah, he was perfectly healthy right up until his death and look at that body! No ripped abs. No bulging biceps!

Then Tara Stiles decides to take advantage of the current fanaticism about weight loss using the name of yoga (but certainly not its philosophies) to line her pockets on the back of other women who already feel crappy about themselves. Nice way to align yourself with the sisterhood, Tara!

And nice way to sell out yoga and degrade its real benefits to those who don’t know any better.

Yoga = love = self-acceptance = giving

Just for once, I’d like to see famous yogis who are right into all this marketing business, using yoga to HELP this world. Help the planet and people in need.

I have no idea why there isn’t already an outpouring of yoga events put on purely as a benefit. I see it at a grassroots level, but not as big as something like Wanderlust for example. Imagine getting lots of wisdom masters to do dharma talks, meditation and asana practice FOR FREE. Yes, free! Anyone heard of a little thing called karma yoga or seva? Let the people pay to come and get the good stuff, and all of the profits GO DIRECTLY TO PEOPLE IN NEED.

Like the communities that lost their livelihood as a result of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Or the Haiti disaster. Or the floods in Pakistan. Or just people who live in your community and are about to be evicted. Or whatever!

Imagine that, can you? I can. Those who came along would benefit from real teachings that aren’t in any way about physical appearance. And the money would go to people who need it. Why? Simply because they are human beings, like everyone else.

Yoga is about GIVING. Not taking. That’s how I get my calm and my sexy. I don’t need no special book and unrealistic promises to deliver that…

**More on this topic by me**

A little less ranty, and a little more rational… 😉

• Samskaras in samsara – part 1
• Samskaras in samsara – part 2
• News from the anti-Slim, Calm, Sexy “Yoga” trenches
• it’s all yoga, baby’s top 15 yoga posts of 2010

~Svasti

**UPDATE 3rd August 2011** To all the people still reading this topic and leaving indignant comments:
Please look at the date of this post. It was a year ago. My anger about this is long gone, but I still disagree with Tara Stiles’ approach to yoga very much. So do a lot of other people, both yoga teachers and non-yoga teachers. Now, if you wanna call me rude, go ahead. I consider this a highly passionate post, fueled by anger for sure. But not rude. Or unyogic. Of course you’re welcome to your opinions as I am to mine, but no matter what you write in the comments I ain’t gonna change my mind. I’d never do a Tara Stiles yoga class. This woman also runs a highly questionable yoga teacher training program that I’d never do either. So there it is. Go ahead, be a Tara apologist. I won’t stop you. But do remember this topic is over a year old and all of the main players have moved on…

The Dork Revealed!

Tags

Asana, Gawker.com for yogis, Jennilyn Carson, New York Times, trikonasana, Twitter, Yoga, Yoga Dork

In case you weren’t aware, this yogini is a self-confessed #yogadork, and is also an avid reader of the always amusing/intriguing Yoga Dork blog.

Lately, this humble blogger has even fueled a couple of irreverent sassy/snarky/tongue-in-cheek YD posts (see here and here). YD is always happy to receive a tip and we just looove seeing what she makes of it.

But I’m sure all of us self-described #yogadorks have wondered about the person behind the nom de plume (*cough cough* says “Svasti”!!). At some stage via a Twitter DM I learned YD was female, but little more on the “About Yoga Dork” information front has been forthcoming, except for her love of all things yoga. But of course.

But thanks to the New York Times, we now have something of an expose: Yoga’s Serious. Except When It’s Not.

And a photo (no faces, but nice form)!

The article is something of a rave with the YD blog being described as “A kind of Gawker.com for yogis”. Nice compliment, eh?

So go say hello to Jennilyn Carson (aka Yoga Dork) over at the NYT. Get to know her a little better.

And if you’re not already reading the YD blog, then get your asana into gear chaps and chap-ettes, add her to your RSS!

~Svasti

A teacher-y thing

Tags

arthritis, Asana, balasana, belly dancing, carpal tunnel, gut instinct, mis-matched socks, modified asana, observation skills, sun salutations, teacher-y thing, Yoga, yoga teaching

Apparently there’s this teacher-y thing that happens when one starts teaching yoga. Which I didn’t notice until I’d taught my first class. Teaching is a doing and a demonstrating activity, but also requires observation skills and an ability to translate what is observed into words and actions. Teaching relies on gut instinct, too.

I did a spot of teaching belly dancing about six years ago, but I never really noticed it then. This teacher-y thing.

And so far, I’ve had a grand total of five bods through the door in two different classes (if you remember, no one showed up to the first class!). Not a lot, but seems like that’s enough to get things going.

Had a bit of a plan for last Saturday’s class, based on some of what I’d observed my students doing the previous one. Not that I can expect too many repeat customers. I do have one though. She came back this week and I was excited to see her! Also, this week I had a guy join the class, all coughing fits and mis-matched socks and truckloads of concentration that prompted me to say: Soften the face, the belly, the arms, the hands, the heart…

I don’t ask where these people come from exactly. I know they or their social worker or someone has read an ad placed in various drop in centres around St Kilda on my behalf. I figure the rest doesn’t really matter as long as they’re happy to turn up and do a little breathing and moving with me.

So even though it wasn’t the same line up of students (I hadn’t expected it to be), my class plan was inspired by the previous class.

First part was simply planning to do less. I mean, we didn’t get through my entire class plan anyway, so it was time for a readjustment in that respect. This is a very beginner-y group, after all.

The second part was getting people to do some work at the wall. Asking them to start noticing their body a little more, and which part of the feet they’re placing their weight on. Insides? Outsides? Ball of the foot? Heel of the foot? Is one hip higher than the other? Is the spine a bit twisted? Are the shoulders rounded forward? And doing some sanding asana at the wall to really accentuate that awareness by seeing what touched the wall as they moved. Or how their weight distribution changed.

So that was cool. Then I introduced the class to sun salutations. A basic version that drops the knees to the mat and then into balasana before coming forward into upward facing dog. Gently does it with people that find down-dog and touching their toes to be challenging!

But I also had to create a REALLY modified version of sun salutes for one student (full disclosure: a friend of mine who was there to pad out the numbers). She has quite a nasty case of carpal tunnel, and also, arthritis in her toes. So too much weight on the wrists or the balls of the feet is just not good for her.

Just like Linda’s and Rachel’s recent posts on the myth of “perfect asana”, I wanted to find a way for my student/friend to experience sun salutations without all sorts of crazy pain.

What we devised between us (I needed her feedback to ensure it was doable) was sun salutations that used forearms instead of hands and kneeling instead of feet. So down dog was like balasana but with hips in the air (thighs at a 90 degree angle to the floor) and forearms reaching forward. Sphinx replaced up-dog. Transitions were on her forearms and knees, too. The rest she could manage. And as long as there was a focus on the breath and finding a flow to the movement, it worked for her just fine!

Funny thing is, she’d been to my practice classes when I was doing my teacher training and had never mentioned how much physical pain she was in. She didn’t think of explaining it to me until afterwards. She also didn’t think of not doing what the person leading the class asked her to do, regardless of her physical discomfort.

Which is interesting in itself. Students won’t always be honest about how they feel/what pain they’re in for unexplained reasons. That’s a good to know, right?

This teacher-y thing I mentioned? Well, it’s all of the above. To summarise, seems like it’s a sort of hyper-awareness of one’s students. Of what their needs might appear to be – which won’t necessarily be what is actually needed. And a responsibility to help people explore, learn more about their body and themselves in the process.

Also, I realised that mirroring (saying “take your left leg back” while demonstrating with my right) isn’t as hard as I’d previously thought. Well, sort of. As long as I look at the limb I’m talking about, I can manage to say the opposite one!

Finally, here’s something else I noticed. As a teacher, it’s very easy to infect the class with my state of mind. So, if I’m all about concentrating on saying the right things, not screwing up, and being precise… then I’ll have a very focused and probably quite tense group of people on my hands. But if I loosen up, and add in instructions like: Now take both the left and right corners of your mouth and turn them upwards…

Then they’re gonna have a bit more fun. And so will I. Yeah. 😀

~Svasti

The Workshop of Love – part 3

Tags

Asana, Mantra, Mark Whitwell, Meditation, Missy Higgins, Puja, Steer, Worship, Yoga

Photo liberated from Mark's Facebook profile 🙂

[Read part 1 & part 2 first]

**Note: La Gitane raised a valid point in the comments for part 2 of this series. When Mark is talking about “your yoga”, this doesn’t mean only doing the asana that you like, or not doing a full complement of forward bend/back bend/side bend/twisting/inverted poses – if you’re capable of doing so. Instead he’s talking about a practice that contains the appropriate elements of a yoga practice, but in a way that suits your body and its limitations. Just wanted to be clear about that!**

Around two hours into our Sunday session, we’d just finished our first asana practice for the day when a young girl and her mum walked in. Mark had clearly been expecting them: This is Melissa and her mum Margaret. Come in and sit down, but just watch the rest of the group for now…

(Fact: I almost never notice famous people even when they’re right under my nose. And being in a small windowless room full of yogis proved no exception. “Melissa” was in fact, Missy Higgins – a talented and successful singer/song-writer in Australia. Of course, I didn’t realise until after we’d finished for the day when I heard others asking if it was ‘really her’).

Even when Mark quoted lyrics from one of Missy’s songs, I still didn’t twig:

…But the search ends here

Where the night is totally clear

And your heart is fierce

So now you finally know

That you control where you go

You can steer…

~Steer, Missy Higgins

Although we didn’t know it yet, Missy’s mum Margaret, was our lesson for the day. Especially for all the yoga teachers in the room.

All of Margaret’s kids love yoga and she’d always wanted to join them but found it almost impossible. She had some very serious back problems and could not join in a regular yoga class. But she could still breathe, and as such, yoga was possible.

Mark promised to help her find “her yoga” – a practice she could do, that would benefit both her body and mind.

She was game for it, and so after listening to our dialog with Mark for a while and watching while he put us through more asana practice, he started to ask her about her situation. I won’t go into what she told us specifically, but essentially any movement beyond very gentle forward bends was out. No rotation of the spine.

It meant that her practice was mostly seated and on her hands and knees. Very little standing, no twisting and nothing energetic or advanced. At the start of the session she mentioned how her mind drove her crazy with non-stop thoughts, but by the end of practicing “her yoga” (which we practiced with her) she felt so much better and found her mind was much calmer.

Now, Margaret’s yoga doesn’t look like anything you’d find in a yoga class, or even in what is taught at yoga teacher training. But still, yoga it is. And, with continued daily practice, it should benefit her every bit as much as a full-on hour and a half yoga class works for other people. Because it’s appropriate for her body and because it allows her to consciously engage her body/mind/breathe connection.

Other reasons it can still be defined as yoga are directly related to the principals of Strength Receiving that Mark taught us:

1. Breath movement IS body movement.
2. The breath starts and ends the movement.
3. Inhale from above, exhale from below.
4. Body, Breath and Bandha are a seamless process.
5. Asana, Pranayama, Meditation, and Life is a seamless design.

There’s a lot to unpack in these principals, but as I’m still unpacking them myself, I’d suggest you buy Mark’s book and/or get to one of his workshops if you can. I promise you that you’ll love it!

Towards the very end of the day, as we sat in naturally arising meditation, Mark had us chanting and placing mantra at various points of the body. Repeating the mantra at the heart centre, the crown of the head, the shoulders, the belly, the groin, the upper legs, the knees, the top and bottom of the feet.

Try this using any mantra you know. It very much felt to me like “self-puja” (or self-worship). Not as in blowing smoke up your own… y’know. But honouring your Self with love and respect. Recognising the miracle of your existence, and that your yoga practice is a sacred contract with yourself to remember who you are, every time you practice.

I’d say the most important thing I got from my time with Mark was the transmission of his gentleness. He reminds us that our yoga practice isn’t meant to be a struggle, but a pleasure. And that we have all of the tools we need for uncovering our own sense of beauty and divinity.

As he recently wrote on Facebook:

Technically, a yoga practice must make a person feel better. Then it is correct practice. “There is no bad yoga. If it’s not good, it’s not yoga!”

And when I get the chance, I’ll spend more time with him again. Absolutely.

~Svasti

The Workshop of Love – part 2

Tags

AC/DC, anahata, Asana, bandha, bhakti, bhava, Dinacharya, Hanuman, indifference, Intimacy, Krishnamacharya, Love, Mark Whitwell, Mudra, pranayama, strength receiving, sun salutations, Surrender, Valentine’s Day, Yoga

Photo liberated from Mark's Facebook profile 🙂

[Read part 1 first]

…You are a flower blooming in your own garden. Your first form arrived as one cell known as the heart. A spark of Life, initiated by male female, giving and receiving union of opposites, the catalyst of nurturing, your spirit took form and the source became seen…

Soft hands, suggests Mark as he levered apart my fierce anjali mudra. Soft like the heart, he smiles. His crinkly eyes smile at me, too. Whoah, that right there is a hit of the bhakti that envelopes Mark and all in his immediate vicinity!

We perform a series of sun salutations and the bhava is feeling, sensing, with no mention of strict ideas about alignment. Instead its – feel it, breathe it, and flow with the practice. Mark talks through the principals of Strength Receiving as we move and asks us to do our practice: Without drama or strain.

The end of the first day is full of anticipation of the next. The first six hours have already been so intense, but in a good way. A day of questions and answers, of movement and breath and most definitely, of heart openings. The kind that cause me to melt. This state of openness takes a little getting used to (every time) because my first reaction is always to protect myself. But here we are, ripping our chests open like Hanuman. On purpose. It’s both frightening and utterly glorious.

…For some of you this practice is too much, for others it’s not challenging enough. This is one of the problems with generic yoga classes. You need to find YOUR yoga – the yoga that’s right for you…

…According to the great “teacher’s teacher” T. Krishnamacharya, yoga must be adapted to the individual, not the individual adapted to the style of yoga. For your yoga practice to be most fruitful, it must be in harmony with your body type, age, health, and even cultural background…

Ideas to ruminate over.

I walk up to Mark to thank him for the last six hours but I’m almost speechless. He grins at me and envelopes me in a huge and long-lasting bear hug. ‘Nuff said!

That night on the other side of town, a few of us head out for dinner just down the road from Nadine’s apartment. But not Mark, who instead went with a friend to see AC/DC in concert. Yup, that’s right; he’s a rocker-yogi! Gotta love that!

Sunday afternoon – Valentine’s Day – we started the session with thoughts of a personalised practice, more questions and answers.

Having a yoga practice that is “mine”, and personalised to my body and needs is such an interesting concept. Especially when compared to the mass-market cookie-cutter approach of some of the stuff being sold as yoga out there.

I suspect that one of the reasons I was intimidated by yoga for a while there (many years ago now), is that I didn’t realise I could make it my own in this way, y’know? And then last year while doing yoga teacher training, I understood that on some level but still, no one ever said that explicitly and out loud!

But it makes so much sense! Bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and with all levels of mobility. The idea that you need to be flexible or picture perfect, or doing advanced poses to do yoga, is false.

I mean, some people report that they look around a class and find their competitive nature flaring up. Which can cause an attitude of feeling less than other people, OR feeling superior. Both are out of balance. Or perhaps a person will push themselves beyond their current capabilities in competition with themselves, which can easily result in injury. And despite what Mr Choudry might say, competition is not yoga!

Mark spoke about the male/female imbalance prevalent in most yoga classes (and by extension, in our communities). There are so many women in yoga classes, but hardly any men! And how that has to change if we’re going to make positive changes in the world. Generally speaking, men need to work at being more open and receptive, and women need to acknowledge their own power. Yoga is very good at helping people regain their balance in these ways. The surrender of Strength Receiving is both internal (from our Self, to our Self), as well as to between our Self and other people in our day to day lives.

And now that I think about it, “surrender” is a big part of the experience of feeling anahata chakra cracking open. The only way to co-exist with that state is to surrender! Essentially, indifference is a disorder of the heart.

One of Mark’s key teachings is around intimacy – with your Self, your body, your breath and your mind. And coming to terms with this concept as a part of my experience of yoga was interesting. I mean, my entire family for generations on both sides have shown no skill with expressing intimacy. It’s a long held, DNA-deep pattern, so how do you get better at intimacy when your natural pattern is to not really let people in? The answer of course, is that you have to start with yourself. And you have to give it a red hot go!

In yoga there’s a bunch of ways to do this – asana, pranayama, mudra, bandha, dinacharya, food etc. Intimacy with the self involves developing a sensitivity and awareness internally and externally and is therefore, inherently physical and sensate.

True intimacy isn’t about getting naked – although there’s nothing wrong with that! Instead, it is a quality that allows us to see, feel, know and realise in a very tangible way that we are but one heart, one organism, interconnected even as we appear separate.

Intimacy really starts to make sense within the context of yoga, as you move through your practice and use the breath to stay completely aware, moment to moment. The trick is that to really understand that, you have to do your practice and keep doing it!

Then you can extend what you’ve learned about yourself to how you deal with others. At least that’s the theory I’m working with so far…

…The ancient wisdom of yoga teaches that Life is already given to you, you are completely loved, you are here now. It teaches that we are not separate, cannot be separate from nature, which sustains us in a vast interdependence with everything…

It is true that we don’t have to go anywhere, or seek anything outside of ourselves in order to realise we are one and the same as god. However, I do think that for many people this message is too simple to accept. I know that twenty years ago, perhaps even only ten years ago I would not have been okay with that. Sometimes I think it takes lots of searching in order to realise there’s nowhere to go…

[Read part 3]

~Svasti

P.S. Once again, all quotes are from Mark Whitwell – things he said, his book and/or his Facebook status updates.

This is my yoga…

Tags

abandoned, Asana, Giving, headstands, heart openings, japa, kirtan, Mantra, Meditation, mortality, Puja, trees, Yagna, Yoga

La Gitane over at Yoga Gypsy just wrote a post on this exact topic, and I thought I’d turn it into a bit of a meme. Or a mala, as she put it!

But actually, going back to 2005, there’s also Linda’s post on Paz Yoga. Then more recently, This is My Real Yoga, and Show Up and Shut Up.

Not long ago I wrote Yoga is…?? but it was more of a comment on the fact that there’s still a whole bunch of people in the world who still have no idea what yoga is beyond some vague concept of physical movement (which is okay, really).

And now, here’s my version – THIS is my yoga – well, some of it anyway…

Love.

Kirtan.

Sharing.

Breathing.

Random headstands.

Pre-dawn meditation.

Laughing when babies laugh.

Befriending cats and dogs in the street.

Finding out the truth about who I really am.

Heart openings. As many as I can manage, every day.

Running my fingers over beautiful patterns in tree bark.

Coming to terms with the full capacity of being a human being.

Yoga asana in the studio, at home, in the park, at work, in the dark.

Getting really real with myself & seeing reality without the multitude of filters we embrace every day.

Understanding I’m not what I think I am, and being able to get glimpses here at there of what I really am instead.

Not pretending. There’s no point in being fake with myself or others. Genuinely acting from compassion, which doesn’t always mean what we think it might.

Really getting the pointlessness of grasping at things. It doesn’t mean I don’t want things (possessions, lovers, money etc) but it does mean I end up not wasting my energy because I don’t have them.

Had a conversation with a girl last week about how there’s a perception that people who are into yoga and spiritual work are all “love and light” all of the time. And how when I first stepped onto this path consciously (as opposed to always being on it but unaware) that I thought that’s what being spiritual was. Now I know that spirituality is gritty, sometimes dark and very, very real. No fantasies. No fluff.

Learning to put aside the never-ending monkey-mind thoughts, the ones that want to drag me down into fear, hate and anger. Or distract me with material things I don’t really have any interest in, or cause anxiety if I let them. Yes, seeing those thoughts for what they are and learning to walk on by without getting too involved.

Learning to exist in the world without feeling the need to manipulate myself or anyone else. That’s a big, hard lesson because one of the stories that’s been running most of my life is that of feeling abandoned. We all attempt to seduce, coerce, have our own way, influence etc. We all do it, even in very tiny ways. Babies learn the favourable responses of adults around them and how to repeat the behaviours that caused the response they want. We teach them our game, and they learn to play. But as adults, we need to learn to disengage from that aspect of our habits and culture, because it takes us away from who we really are.

Learning that giving to others is one of the best things we have to offer to other human beings. Whether it’s a hug, food, money, a conversation or whatever. Giving opens up the heart. It’s not about stroking your ego – instead it’s about realising you are no more or less important than anybody else. Everyone in fact, is equally important in this world. Keep giving, no matter what.

Really, REALLY realising that in the end, we’re all going to die. It’s one of the conditions of life, and part of what makes it so special. But also realising that I am not this body, that who I am is part of something much bigger than that…

Honouring all living things as part of the whole, including rocks, trees, the ocean and the wind.

Riding my push bike, wind streaming through my hair and singing joyfully and loudly.

Participating in puja to witness divinity in all living beings, myself included.

Helping other people in whatever way is appropriate and useful.

Discovering where I think my limitations are and aren’t.

Yagna ceremonies on full moon and new moon.

Dancing like a wild woman.

Cups of tea with friends.

Endless rounds of japa.

Midnight meditations.

Surrender.

Learning.

Stillness.

Mantra.

Joy.

Yeah… those are just some of the things that yoga means to me…

If you’d like to play along, please do so – and perhaps link to the other posts on the same topic to keep the mala threaded!

~Svasti