Review: Kerry Belvisio’s Self Alignment Kit – part I

Tags

alignment, Blogging, chakra cards, Healing, Kerry Belvisio, Kerry in your pocket, Kinesiology, Kinesiology Fan Girl, self alignment, Self-Alignment Kit, self-sabotage

First, a little back story

Just the other day I was thinking about the myriad of ways blogging has benefited my life. I’ve made new friends, new connections and learned So. Much.

Blogging has also kept me accountable for my healing process, even though I never would’ve suggested that’s what I was doing. And the writing of it all has helped me unravel much more than I ever thought possible.

Through a pathway of interconnected bloggers, at some point I found myself thinking: I guess I’d better check out this Nadine chick I keep hearing about from other bloggers. Which led to meeting Nadine AND Mark Whitwell.

It also led me to attend Nadine and Kerry’s Unstuck Workshop. Which meant that when the shizz hit the fan (AGAIN) after my five year…ermmm…anniversary of being assaulted, I called Kerry for an appointment.

Connections, connections.

So thanks to blogging I’ve been having regular kinesiology sessions for around twelve months now, and it has been incredibly transformative.

Hi. My name is Svasti and I am a Kinesiology Fan Girl.

I saw Kerry for months and months, but now I’m seeing Amanda – whom Kerry referred me to on account of all of the thyroid stuff I’m dealing with.

Because Kerry is just that kind of healer: putting the needs of her clients first.

(It should also be noted that the thyroid stuff came up, I suspect, because in a session with Kerry I was all: I don’t know what I need to do next!! Soon afterwards, it was: hello, physical health! See, I need to get that all sorted before I run off adventuring around the world.)

Of course, that creates a bit of a quandary for me because now I have TWO lovely kinesiology ladies that I adore for all of their amazing work. So whenever I’m recommending kinesiology to my friends, I always give them both Kerry’s and Amanda’s details.

Anyway, on to the ACTUAL review:
The Self-Alignment Kit

Kerry has gone and created a brilliant piece of DIY-at-home kinesiology* in The Self Alignment Kit.

*Just to be clear – while I’ve just described the kit as a piece of DIY-at-home kinesiology, it’s only a part of the work that kinesiology does. So if you ever get the chance to have a session (or two or three or…) then do it. You won’t regret it!

I was already planning on buying one, but Kerry generously offered the kit to me as a gift!

So I thought I’d repay her in kind by sharing my experiences to date.

Already, I know this is a tool I’ll use many, many times over.

So. What does the Self-Alignment Kit contain?

A few things, actually:

• A handy dandy audio guide of Kerry talking you through the steps.
  Very helpful, especially the first time you try the kit out.
  It’s kind of like tucking Kerry in your pocket and bringing her home for a chat. 🙂
• The step-by-step guidebook – which talks about how we get stuck and misaligned with our goals, as well as lots of info on how to use the kit.
• A worksheet – you’ll need a fresh one every time you use your Self-Alignment Kit.
• A set of chakra cards – this is the main tool for figuring out where in your body/chakras you are misaligned to your goals.
• A little book of goals – something I plan to use extensively very soon. I just didn’t have enough time on the weekend.
  This part of the kit looks like a luxurious adventure in getting clear on your future life plans. Which hey, I’ve got a lot of those and I’d totally like to be in alignment with them!

So what does the kit actually do?

Think of it as a tune-up tool for your life’s plans and goals.

Doesn’t it bug you when you want your life to go in a certain direction but you feel like stuff keeps dragging you down and/or backwards?

It sure bugs me. Sometimes I’ve felt like I’m walking on the spot on a treadmill, but don’t even know it. There I am, looking towards where I want to be but finding those things just out of reach.

That’s misalignment in action.

Getting aligned with where you want to be is seeing and getting off the treadmill, and really and truly being able to move forwards.

Some pretty cool stuff about the Self-Alignment Kit

Just a few observations:

• Part self-coaching, part kinesiology session, it helps you to focus on your goals and ferret out any little self-sabotages you’ve got going on. Stuff that unbeknownst to you, is getting in the way of your own happiness.
• The process is simple and it works.
• Not that I had any doubts about something Kerry has produced, but even for this first attempt it worked better than I expected.
• It’s empowering. Something that most of us need to learn is that anyone you go to for healing is the facilitator of your own natural healing capability.
  Using this kit really helps to see that for yourself, in case you didn’t really get it beforehand.
• Kerry’s chakra cards are cool. Being a yoga student and teacher, I know a few things about chakras. But I really like the kinesiology way of referencing various physical/emotional needs with our chakras, and I especially like Kerry’s chakra cards!
  They are no-nonsense, colourful and to the point. For someone like me whose never been into much of the really New Age “woo woo” stuff, this is my kind of tool (along with the yogAttitude cards!).
• Make it quick or take your time. If something is playing on your mind, you can get in there with a quick, intuition-driven self-analysis. That’s what I did on Sunday night (see part II of this review).
  Or, you can plan a more in-depth goal setting and alignment session. Maybe over a glass of wine, with some music and incense. A night just for you to get real with your own life.
• It’s a completely digital product, so there’s no delay once you’ve purchased it. You can download everything you need from Kerry’s website and get going straight away!
• Eco-preferences: You can choose to print the e-books or not: it’s up to you. However, the chakra cards do need to be printed. I intend to get a set laminated so they’ll last for as long as possible.

So as you can see, there’s plenty to like about the Self-Alignment Kit, right?

Part II of this review is about what I did on Sunday night. Check it out!

~ Svasti

#reverb10 – a community quilt

Tags

bejewelled inner nature, benevolence, Blogging, Community, haven, kirtan, Lonliness, Love, overflow station, patchwork quilts, PTSD, purging, rejection, self-preservation, teetering, Twitter, virtual world, Writing, Yoga

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?
~December 7th writing prompt

Sometimes it’s what I crave more than anything else – a sense of belonging to a place, to people. That I’m somehow important enough to someone that we don’t go more than a day or two without talking or hanging out.

This hasn’t been my experience of life in recent times. And while I crave this thing, I very much feel the ringing absence of it all and I wonder how it’ll ever be any different. So I do what I always do, and hunker down close to the things I know. And that can be lonely, but at least there’s no feeling of rejection there. Just… space.

I’ve watched my idea of community change a whole bunch in the last few years, as much as I’ve experienced it shrinking then growing again in unexpected ways.

Before 2010 I spent so long hiding away from everyone, licking my wounds in private and slowly losing touch with those who might care.

Mostly just because it was easier than saying things like:

Yes, I was assaulted. I wasn’t raped, just beaten up. And even though it only happened once, I somehow developed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and depression – and I’m way more surprised about that than you’ll ever be. I’m also highly embarrassed and pretty messed up. Actually, I’m really fragile in lots of ways and it can be so much effort just being out around other people, frightening me with their mysteries. Sometimes, I even consider committing suicide because constantly living in terror and having flashbacks is both exhausting and soul-destroying.

If only I could’ve said those words: they needed to be said in order to feel like I was heard. Seen. But I couldn’t, of course. Mostly because I didn’t even know what was going on for a while. Then, once I did, it wasn’t like I suddenly felt the urge to share. So my community grew small. Smaller. Smallest. Gone.

Then a flicker of life, the tiniest of sparks came back to me when I began blogging in 2008, kick-starting the process of purging sticky toxic grime from the insides of my skin.

Silently (to those not in the know) and wordfully, I published my screams and terrors and found others like me: teetering on the edge of our own extinction and yet somehow finding the strength to fight back.

Throughout, I’ve gathered my online community like the cosiest of patchwork quilts, adding another patch here and there. Creating comfort and warmth.

Some have been with me from the start, or shortly thereafter. Others are more recent. They’ve either discovered me, or I came across them – it matters not. In each other we’ve recognised the reflection of our bejewelled inner nature… we salute another solid gold soul and each and every one of you (and there are many) make me happy. Your benevolence gleams brightly in my eyes and heart.

Twitter has enhanced the sharing and further developed these friendships. I’ve even been emboldened to meet a few of my blog and Twitter friends, which has been just like I expected: in the flesh, people I’ve known and loved online and from afar are as marvellous as I imagined (oh yes, you are).

I don’t really understand how it works – but all these people I would never have met or known otherwise are now a part of my life in one way or another, and that seems mightily precious and special. How did you get here? I’m not too sure, but get here you did. Thank you for that!

My online life has been one of safety. It’s allowed my writing skills to grow, and created a haven of protection for the things I’ve had to say. My blog friends have helped me understand that no matter what I’ve shared, I am loved anyway. That is inexpressibly invaluable because it’s not something I’ve had in spades very often.

Words that might never have passed my lips any other way have escaped as pixels on a page and were launched into the stratosphere via WordPress. They’ve gained freedom from the prison of my inner world and in doing so, helped very much to change my own perspective on my experiences. It’s kind of magical in a way!

My blog has changed over the last two and a half years. It used to be just about purging the grief, anger and horror from my lungs, my heart, kidneys and all those other great hiding places within.

Now, I balance writing on mental health topics with my ever unfolding interest and love of yoga. And in this I’ve found new friends – more treasured patches for the quilt!

Then, my online world started spilling into the non-virtual in other ways. Someone suggested I use a service called Meetup.com to find local interests (and therefore people). Which is how I found the kirtan group I’ve been a part of since late last year. More about kirtan in another post very soon!

This year the dynamics have changed – a core group of us became not just people who meet up once a month to chant, but suddenly we had each other’s phone numbers and email addresses and outside that original circle, friendships are slowly growing.

But I can be hesitant to allow people into my life. The only time that’s different is those lightning moments where the spark of knowing transcends any sense of social awkwardness. Instantly, a stranger and I are friends and it’s always been that way, will always be that way.

Mostly though, it doesn’t happen like that (except for when it does).

This is how I’d like my community to grow in the coming year: I still need my online safety net – in some ways it’s the overflow station for all the things I can’t/don’t want to say or do elsewhere. But I’d like to find a way to prise open my stringent self-preservation a little. Crack the corner a bit and let myself out to play with abandon.

I suspect I might not have any choice about this anyhow – being nudged by the universe as I am to teach yoga more and more. And the more I teach, the more I’m lovingly forced to open. Don’t think I can actually teach any other way.

Community isn’t just about what you get from others – it’s something you contribute to and help create. And I think it’s coming for me, as I am for it.

Love. I have lots of it to share and I hope y’all out there are ready for it…

~Svasti

You’ve come a long way, baby

Tags

Asana, bird’s eye view, Blogging, Depression, Fat Boy Slim, Happy blog birthday, Healing, Meditation, Nataraj, Natarajasana, Post, Post-traumatic stress, PTSD, Recovery, Retreat, Spirituality, Therapy, Trauma, Truth, Unemployed, Yoga, yoga teacher training, Yogasana

For years I was totally hopeless with balancing asana in my yoga practice. I’d wobble, fall over and enviously look at others, wondering why I couldn’t do what they did.

Then some time ago, wobbling through Natarajasana (dancer pose) I had a realisation that changed everything… You’re not just trying to balance on one leg – you need to stabilise yourself by engaging every little piece of your body!

Oh! Seems so obvious in retrospect, but for some reason I really didn’t get that, until I did.

In turn, this taught me something important about life, in a very practical (not theoretical) way: Nothing in our lives is disconnected. Nothing.

Funnily enough, I’ve had this realisation many times – during meditation, from reading books and listening to dozens of lectures on the matter too.

Seems we don’t get it, until we do. Nothing is disconnected.

We’ve come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I have to celebrate you baby
I have to praise you like I should
~Fat Boy Slim

For those of us consciously trying to heal our inner wounds, with our fragmented selves desperately trying to keep up… we’re often so busy focusing on the trauma, it’s hard to see the bigger picture.

Just for now though, I’m taking a bird’s eye view, trying to see the lay of the land, so to speak.

Why? Well, today marks the first birthday of Svasti! Hip-hip-hooray!!

To quote my last post, this blog grew as something of an impulse – a very strong desire to save my sanity. A much needed space to expel the violence, sadness and struggles I’d been dealing with all alone. Screaming into cyberspace seemed like a good idea, and I was right.

Blogging I’ve found… is sort of like travelling the world with an entirely different perspective. Instead of seeing museums and temples and the like, I find myself surveying the inner workings of people’s minds all ‘round the world.

In the process, I’ve made a lot of friends and learned plenty about myself and others.

Such as: There’s no simple cure to PTSD or depression. And there’s peaks and troughs to recovery. The peaks make me feel like I’m finally getting somewhere. The troughs make me feel like checking out of Hotel de Life.

Healing is not a one-shot deal. There’s no magic pill to solve all my ills, or anyone else’s. But the more we express, the better it gets (in the long run, if not straight away).

And given human nature is how it is, we find resonance in each other’s words. We discover we aren’t alone. We’re all connected. So, what we write can benefit others. That’s a good thing!

But I’ve also learned the assault I started writing about was only a small part of the story – a kind of bookend really, to a certain era of my life. An era I’m learning I need to write about. That’s all connected, too.

In the last twelve months I’ve: started therapy, quit a stable (but soul-destroying job), spent five weeks in spiritual retreat, conquered the worst of my PTSD symptoms (although I’m far from symptom-free), gained and lost another job, had a second niece arrive, found new friends, started yoga teacher training and struggled with a very morbid attack of depression. And I’ve spent the better part of this year unemployed, surviving on a fraction of what I usually earn.

Seems I’ve been shedding one skin after the other, kinda like an onion and with just as many tears.

But none of it is disconnected, I’m convinced of that. Where we’re at is a result of where we’ve been. There’s no plot device that led me down this path.

Gotta say this much – it’s a glorious place from which to find my balance in life, and I know I can do it.

So, here’s to the next twelve months in my/everyone else’s journey.

And thanks everyone for reading!

~Svasti

A little faith in me

Tags

Belief, Blogging, Copywriting, Faith, Freelance writer, Inner critic, Kung Fu Panda, Po, Svasti for hire, Unemployed, Writing

I still don’t have a job. It’s all a bit of a tease right now… just missing out, hearing about this one and that one. But nothing confirmed for ongoing work.

Yet.

However, seems I’m slowly and in miniscule ways (inch by inch even), developing a little bit of belief in myself…

Thanks in no small part to this blog, and of course to the lovely people who read my wild rantings here.

See, what’s just happened is this – last week, someone I used to work with (years ago) and who I’m Facebook friends with, posted a status update: Looking for a freelance writer who understands cyclists.

Wait-a-second…! That sounds like… it could be me!

Granted, I’ve never worked as a freelance writer. But I’ve done plenty of copywriting in other jobs I’ve had, both for websites and print materials.

Then of course, there’s this here blog. When I first started writing it, I gave myself permission to write without worrying too much about quality, with good reason.

For years as a high school student I was known for my writing, but the problem was… my mean old inner critic. Harsher than any of my teachers. I’d write and re-write and exhaust myself in the process. I was never happy with what I wrote, no matter what other people said.

So I stopped all together. Gave up the pursuit.

But this blog grew as something of an impulse – a very strong desire to save my sanity. And in writing endlessly here (with feedback from some of you good folk) my confidence in my writing abilities has grown. Slowly and tenderly.

So much so, that when I saw my friend’s status update, I was brave enough to suggest my services! She asked for some sample writing, but I didn’t have anything suitable (not sending stuff from my blog!). Said I’d put something together within a couple of days and submitted it by my self-imposed deadline.

Got an email the next day saying her boss was very happy with the sample, and they’d get back to me with a brief, some timings and to agree on a rate…

Someone is gonna pay me to write copy!!

Better still, it’s for a non-profit organisation that promotes cycling safety (right up my alley). Of course, it’s not yet a done deal, not until we’ve got some kinda agreement in writing. It’s a pretty good start though (here’s hoping my writing about it won’t jinx anything)!

Just today, I was asked to go to their offices for a briefing this Thursday. Yippee!

It’s only a one-off at this stage, but its something, right? And it could turn into more somethings? Yes? That’s what I thought!

And I’ve been thinking… perhaps this lack of work is all about me learning some kind of lesson. That, actually, I need to break away from the type of work life I’ve had to date? Become more flexible and independent in how I earn a living? Who knows, but that’s how I’m choosing to take it…

As such, I’ve decided to add another page to my blog (coming soon)! And it’ll be all about: Svasti for hire – copywriting, blog design, website production, SEO and digital marketing.

If you know anyone who’d like to hire a slightly neurotic, but highly creative yogini who’s got some kinda okay skills in the communication arena… send ‘em my way!

Oh, and I’m also gonna be doing some work for Anthroyogini sometime soon (when she sends me a brief!) on her upcoming big idea (which really is kinda cool).

~Svasti

My name is Svasti

Tags

Anonymous, Blogging, Creative Writing, Letters From Exile, PTSD, Svasti

La over at Letters from Exile, recently posted “The Tongue-Tied Blogger“. I relate so much to it, I couldn’t contain myself to a couple of paragraphs on La’s blog. 🙂

First of all La – you’re fantastic. And if you’re falling apart, I think those who read your blog are more likely to understand than others. Write what you need to.

I blog anonymously for protection and privacy. I write here in-depth the way I’d never dare verbalise to most people. The content and intensity is scary sometimes.

And I write because this blog is lancing a boil, allowing the pus to seep out so it stops infecting my life, my mind, my body.

It has singularly been the best thing I’ve done for myself other than finding a good therapist.

Yet, if I put my name or face to what I’ve written, I don’t think I could be so open. I know I wouldn’t. I’d be embarrassed beyond belief. So my name is Svasti.

Just like La, whilst you’re privy to intimate thoughts and experiences of mine, you don’t know what I look like or what else goes on in my life. What I’m up to day to day, other thoughts and feelings I don’t share here. These writings are just snapshots in time and space.

A handful of friends have the URL. People I trust. Only some have read what I’ve written. A smaller number have given me feedback. I don’t think any of them subscribe to my RSS feed.

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t told anyone. Knowing there’s a chance a friend might be reading causes me to hold back on things I dearly want to write.

Other times, I’m supremely thankful – I could never express half of what I’ve written in person. And it’s very nice to feel like your friends see you, really see where you’re at and what you’re going through.

There’s a part of me that knows some of those friends will judge me, find me wanting. I’m terrified of that. But conversely, some think what I’m doing is fantastic and I know because they tell me so. I have their support.

But unlike La, I’m not ambivalent about my blog. It’s both helped with my healing process and reignited my writing passion. No matter how average it might be! The creative urge drives me to continue and the more I write, the better I feel.

I definitely don’t want my parents to read this blog, ever. They wouldn’t like it at all and they would definitely judge me.

And certainly, I’ve refrained from talking very much about my parents. Partly because I believe no matter what’s happened, how you live your life from there is your choice and responsibility. But also because I love them no matter what.

Sometimes I write about how I feel right now, other times I’m writing of the past. Sometimes its felt like the past is here in the moment thanks to PTSD. But thankfully much of that has subsided thanks to my therapist and a rather large epiphany I had in Thailand.

The challenge here on my anonymous blog, is keeping track of emerging lines of thought: the chronology of the assault; related side issues; other parts of my life; poetry; rants and everything else.

It’s not chapter by chapter neat and orderly. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by stories that seem to have lives of their own.

But I write because I must and I’m glad to have connected with a number of virtual friends in my bloggy pixelated world. Zeros and ones to you all!

~Svasti xoxo