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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: Clear seeing

I can’t believe it’s not…

26 Tuesday Oct 2010

Posted by Svasti in Life

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

beaches, Clear seeing, Cleopatra the Cat, coiffed, down the wire, eyebrow wax, Game Plan, Hollywood Eyebrows, I can't believe it's not butter, immersion, interconnected energy body, introspection, Kinesiology, kooky, Making of Plans, Retreat, Shadow Yoga, Thailand, Yoga

Butter? Chocolate? Retreat?

Yeah, maybe the end one. There’s been plenty of the first two around, so I know they aren’t facsimiles. Or… is the pun (Fabio included) not actually about facsimiles at all? I mean, today I went for an eyebrow wax and was told the method was something called Hollywood Eyebrows. As though it was something different. But the end result was nicely shaped and coiffed (can eyebrows BE coiffed?) brows, so… you say tomato, and you know the rest.

So. I’m not in Thailand, obviously. Not on retreat, where I wish I was. And at first I thought a teensy little part of me was sulking about that. Maybe I was. But then, this quiet time that’s meant less Svasti posts and well, really, a heck-load of other stuff… it’s not about sulking. And don’t get me wrong – there’s been PLENTY of yoga going on!

How do I put this without sounding entirely kooky? Uhhh, perhaps there isn’t any way to do that. So, ahhhh… okay. The bond formed with my teacher and fellow students means that I’m part of this wider and pretty much always interconnected energy body. I mean, generally speaking ALL people are part of an interconnected energy body, but our group was formed quite intentionally and with a lot of energy, meditation and ceremony behind it.

So, even if I’m not with my teacher and fellow students when they’re together doing a lot of spiritual practice (which has happened a handful of times only since I was initiated into the school), I find that down the wire, I get the the gist of what’s going on anyway. Even if they happen to be half a world away.

Really.

There’s energetic stuff that happens, things I feel, messages I receive (not as emails though!) and the general overall tone of whatever’s going on. Then there’s the physical stuff (okay, I’m not quite ready to share all the details about that). BUT, let’s just say it’s all happening again. I thought maybe this time it wasn’t going to be like that and for a while I thought I was right. Because usually the energy that comes out of retreat is BIG and DYNAMIC but this time it seems to be much more introspective. Quiet revelations and deep inquiry that’s blossoming into Something New. Dunno what it is yet, but it’s definitely happening.

And before you say, oh, that’s not necessarily anything to do with your group half a world away, things like that are going on for me too! Let me just add that yes, that’s very possible. All of our retreats are based around specific times of the year, so that astrologically (if you go in for that stuff) whatever we’re doing is supported by the universe in every possible way. So you could say that in general, right now is a huge time of change for many people.

And things have been profound while I’ve been all radio-silence-like. I’ve been doing a lot of Clear Seeing. And Making of Plans. And Realising I Don’t Have To Live In Bolivia To Be Happy. And figuring out a new Game Plan. One that’s gonna make me Happy, without sacrificing myself for others (bad, bad habit of mine!).

So that’s what’s been going on for me, in so many words anyhow.

In other news…

  • While it’s not a huge HOORAY but perhaps a HooRay moment… I have finally found some permanent (for now) work. In the digital media industry but quite outside the usual sorts of companies I work for, I guess. Which is both good and bad. Let’s just call it a lifestyle choice, which means it’s not the most highly paid job in the world, but it’s damn-well-stable. And right now, I need a bit of Stable. Actually, I need a LOT of Stable. So it’s good for that, and also for being near some of the more beautiful beaches you can visit in Melbourne (without driving and hour or two south or south-west around the bay).
    It’s good-ish, but not what I really want to be doing. And yet, I don’t feel like I’m selling my soul by taking this job, so that’s an improvement, yes?
  • And… still hunting down places where I can set up yoga classes. Not as easy as you might think!!
  • Speaking of butter, I think I might have finally perfected making my grandmother’s coconut biscuits. Quite a simple recipe, but awesomely delicious, too. The trick is making sure you cook them not too little, not too long. Juuuust right!
  • Miss Kitty (Cleopatra the Cat) has been in the wars and also in my wallet, getting in some kind of cat fight (we think) and had quite a close shave really with a BAD bite in one of her back legs. Poor meow! For her troubles, she was awarded stitches, a drainage tube and the weekend spent at the vet’s practice.

    A cone-headed kitty

    She’s been in the plastic cone since it happened. The drainage tube came out last Thursday and this Thursday she has her stitches out and the cone comes off! Thanks Miss Kitty, I really, really could have used that $550 for you know… getting by until I get paid. But whatever! I’m just glad she’s okay now (almost back to her normal self).

  • YAY for next Monday! I’ve been paying attention to my intuition which said Get Thee To A Kinesiology Session! So on Monday evening I’ll be seeing Kerry. (Can I have another YAY?) It’s been a while since my last one.
  • I am almost back to normal in terms of my desire to write more. The introspection phase is passing, and it’s been wonderful.
  • From tomorrow evening I have a yoga-ish house guest staying for two weeks. She’s a fellow Shadow Yoga student and she’s visiting from New Zealand. I offered to billet her because, well why not, eh?

~Svasti

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Are we all insane? Not a movie review…

03 Monday Nov 2008

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Spirituality

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Basic sanity, Brad Pitt, Burn After Reading, Cinema, Clear seeing, Cohen Brothers, Frances McDormand, George Clooney, House hunting, insanity, John Malkovich, Response, Spiritual work, Stimulus, Tilda Swinton

My rather pathetic attempts at house hunting this weekend ended with little to show for my efforts. This is partly due to poor planning. What I really should’ve done (and will do next weekend) is hire a car. All these places you’ve gotta get to in a short space of time not so easy on the ol’ public transport.

After viewing a couple of places (duds), I found myself in one of my old haunting grounds. I allowed myself to be diverted, knowing I wouldn’t get to see all the places I wanted to see, and resolving to do better next weekend.

So I felt drawn towards the local art house cinema. Well, it does play mainstream movies too, but it’s a great venue for seeing flicks on the road less travelled. I went to see “Burn After Reading” the Cohen Brothers’ latest offering.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. But not because of George Clooney and Brad Pitt! And not even because of John Malkovich, Frances McDormand or Tilda Swinton. It’s full of dark humour a-plenty which tickled my fancy almost as much as some of the slap-stick moments.

But none of these were the reason I enjoyed it so much.

What was blatantly clear as the story unfolded was the madness of mankind. We’re all happy to point the finger at someone else’s craziness, but we often fail to see our own day to day activities or thoughts as quite insane.

Frances McDormand’s character justifies her attempt at bribery due to her desperation for plastic surgery. When her first plan fails, she is insistent it could still work: “There’s always the Chinese!”

George Clooney’s smooth player/nutter was so sure he was in control until his encounter with Brad Pitt in the wardrobe. Things took a turn for the worse when he realised who was following him and why. His is easily one of the most lost characters in the movie, and his ultimate spin into paranoia is splendid to watch.

Mr Malkovich on first appearance is logical and rational. Even if he is an alcoholic. But in the end proves to be just as crazy as the others.

Richard Jenkins as the owner of the gym where Frances and Brad work even has his moments. In his misguided but well meaning way, he brings disaster down on his own head (a pun for those who’ve seen the movie), in the name of love.

Thing is, it’s possible to sympathise with each of these characters. From their own particular world view, everything they think and do is quite logical. Even when it’s clear they are deluded.

My Guru talks about ‘basic sanity’. He says there’s no point attempting spiritual work until you are basically sane. That said, many of my Guru’s students (including me) are still struggling with 100% basic sanity ourselves!

Perhaps the most ubiquitous and subtle form of our madness is plain old every day insanity which is in fact how most people function.

Let me try to explain…

Human beings take what we think we see and assign it a meaning regardless how relevant or irrelevant that meaning is. We do this in all sorts of situations down to the tiniest thoughts and feelings.

We layer many such meanings on top of each other and then we assume we see things clearly based on what we already ‘know’. As long as we’re not on medication, we think we are sane and logical.

But what do we really actually really ‘know’?

How can we be sure we haven’t hoodwinked ourselves at some point, or at multiple points? When do we truly see clearly?

We regularly assume the actions and reactions of others around us are personal. But most of the time other people are too busy doing the same thing as we do ourselves, within the confines of their own befuddled brains.

George Clooney’s character demonstrates this very well when he freaks out in the park with Frances McDormand.

Clear seeing is crucial to basic sanity. By that I mean seeing reality as it actually is. Without story. Separating fact from exaggeration and emotional bias.

Once clear seeing comes to the party, it’s possible to create some space between stimulus and response. And learn to become detached and non-reactive in a way you never could before.

Which means most of us are insane to one degree or another. We don’t possess basic sanity when our daily experience is one of stimulus / response / stimulus / response without pause.

For mine, yoga/meditation is the path that delivers this knowledge for me. It can create the ‘gaps’ required to allow basic sanity to gain a foothold.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t other paths that work just as well. But when people start assuming their way is the only way that too is a form of madness.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that’s okay. That probably means that you’re a little insane and you just don’t know it.

But don’t worry – you’re in good company with a solid 95% or more of the world’s population!

~Svasti

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