Why I have a Guru – part 1

Tags

Commercial yoga, Cynicism, Cynics, Direct experience, Guidance, Guru, Yoga, Yogis

Readers of this blog might’ve noticed the occasional remark in my posts about my Guru.

Thanks to a particularly cynical comment from a blog friend in response to a recent post (which wasn’t the one I wanted him to read anyway… oh never mind!)… in reflection I realise I haven’t been very clear about some things.

The rant

I’m just a little angry.

Far as I can tell, there’s unwarranted suspicion around the concept of Guru. What’s it based on exactly? Personal real life experiences? Third or fourth hand stories? Reading a book or some random online account of some unknown person(s) about their ‘bad Guru’ experience? Stereotypes?

Please, do tell. Coz I’d love to know if it’s just another form of ignorance, discrimination or bigotry or similar… or based on something real?

How many of the cynical amongst you have ever met a bona fide Guru in the flesh? How many have spent any time studying with one? Huh? Please, do tell!

What is it? Do ya think I’m gonna to try and covert you? (Just so… not!) Is it fear of something that’s not easy to comprehend? Fear of the unknown? Does it sound to you like bondage instead of freedom?

I’m absolutely sick to death of people thinking (not that I really care, but y’know…) that I’m brainwashed, or mindless, or lost, or in someway retarded because I happen to have a profound connection with an accomplished spiritual being (not that he’d ever say that about himself mind you…).

Do you see me suggesting to anyone do what I do? No! So what makes you feel the need to criticise my choices without understanding where I’m coming from?

And trust me, unless you’ve taken initiation into a traditional yogic lineage of some kind, you’re simply NOT gonna get it. You can’t. You haven’t been there. It’s not like going to another city on the other side of the world. It’s like visiting another planet. I’ve tried to explain but much gets lost in the translation.

Most people simply can’t and won’t have the same experiences going to a commercial yoga class. You may learn the same asana, but you won’t learn them for the same reasons. And you certainly won’t be receiving the same kind of meditation instruction – if you get any at all. And if you’re not, I don’t know what you think yoga actually is! Its certainly not just a series of ‘yogaerobics’ to – keep you flexible or tone your body – as I’ve seen yoga classes advertised. Eeewwww.

I don’t need to be saved or woken up. I’m more awake than you can possibly imagine despite my frailties and insecurities.

And do you wanna know why I can say that? Because I see who and what I am in this limited world view and I don’t deny any of it. BUT I also have direct knowledge that this experience is far from all I am. Far from all anyone is…

I sometimes exist in the open spaces – the gaps in between – where it’s possible to see the whole friggin’ world as non-dual, everything as one. And yes, there’s a huge difference between theoretical/philosophical knowledge and practical experience where irrevocably, you gain intimate first hand knowledge.

So here’s where I get my love and respect for my Guru – there’s no one and I mean not a single person I’ve ever met who sees reality as clearly as he does. He lives in that world and for those willing to stick around, he’s happy to share what he knows. But in return he insists that his students strip away ALL bullshit romantic fantasies around how we see ourselves and other people. Dismantle that house of cards.

He’s the captain of my spiritual ship. Or rather I’ve tied my ship to his flotilla. Because we’re going into waters he’s traversed many a time and I’ve never been there myself. I don’t know the territory. The wind and the waves work differently there. He trains us and he wants us to be capable, but it can only be learned over time due to its complexity.

His advice is not used to work out what to wear or eat or do with my day. I’m not a child, he’s not my parent or saviour and I don’t rely on him for approval. I’m independent as a person – where I do rely on him is to explain the territory if I hit a part of the map I’ve never seen before.

When nothing looks familiar and my own resources fail me… when self reflection has taken me as far as I can possibly get… when I’ve talked to my more experienced yogi brothers and sisters and they can’t help me either… its then that I need my Guru’s guidance.

And that’s kind of where I’m at right now.

Svasti says: don’t generalise, don’t criticise what you don’t understand. Fine if its not for you, but just get on with it and let us ‘loony’ off-the-chart yogis do what we do best… Om  namah sivaya!

[Read part 2]

~Svasti

Raven or crow?

Tags

Adventure, Crow, Cynicism, Demons, Fates, Humanity, Interviews, Job hunting, Mythology, Negativity, Norse, Odin, Raven, Unemployed

Now for a practical application of the Navaratri post I’ve just added – I think yesterday was something of a turning point for me.

I’ve just finished reading a rather long but beautiful post by Miss Sensuality. I resonate with her words and find they’re somewhat related to this post.

As you may have read in previous posts, I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself that my grand adventure hasn’t quite worked out the way I wanted it to – yet.

I took a gamble, I went with my gut – and as my mother would say – I threw away a perfectly good job. Yup. Up and left it. Because I’d been there too long. Because the politics and BS were getting to me. Because my boss was being pig-headed and wouldn’t give me the minimum leave I needed to attend my retreat (he offered two weeks instead of three – I resigned and took five weeks!)

Little did I know the economy was set for a tailspin, that when I returned, jobs wouldn’t be as plentiful in my industry as they were when I left. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that almost seven weeks later I’d still be looking for a job. I can’t even get a temp job at the moment doing crappy admin work!!

Like Miss Sensuality, today I saw all these people with places to go, jobs to get back to, moving with confidence of their place in the world. I realised I used to be one of them. And I realised that I am not my job, I am not my money (which I’m rapidly running out of), I’m not my clothes, I’m not status, I’m not where I live. I’m still here and functioning without those things, without any security or income. And I am who I am. I am no different from anyone else. There is freedom in that knowledge.

On the back of these thoughts I had two interviews. One for a job I am not that interested in. The guy interviewing me spoke in sound bites and buzz words, and kept telling me what a “great opportunity” it was to join his team. He spouted statements that wouldn’t seem out of place on “The Office“. Apparently I’d be “locked into two years in the role” but after that I could “go anywhere in the company” (a very large corporate). Now here was someone clearly self-identifying with his job and his company as part of what makes him secure and comfortable.

As for me, I’m not “locked in” to anything. Even if I did take this “great opportunity” if it were offered to me…

The second interview was with a recruitment agent. Now, I’ve spoken to almost every half decent recruiter in Melbourne in the last seven weeks, so I thought I knew how they all operated. How wrong I was! This lady organised to meet me at the Sofitel in Melbourne in a ritzy bar on the 35^th floor. She presumes we’re having a drink, where I’d presumed we were having tea or coffee. Red wine for me and champagne for her.

The Atrium bar at the Sofitel, Melbourne

An interview that was booked for an hour stretched into two as we chatted like a couple of old friends. She gave me insights into the world of recruitment not offered to me by any of the others. We talked about her kids, our cats, the benefits of acupuncture. She treated me like a person instead of another faceless “candidate” and it was a breath of fresh air in the odd world of job hunting and interviewing.

Who knows what will come of that meeting if anything, but I’ve shrugged off some of my cynicism and negativity, thankfully!

Then on my way home (train, then bus) I’m on that last ten minute walk. I spot a large black bird – a crow or raven – sitting in a small bush next to someone’s letterbox. It doesn’t move as I approach. It eyeballs me, opening and closing its beak frequently. I think it might be injured as it isn’t flying away although I’m very close.

The beautiful bird I encountered on my way home!

I don’t want to leave it in case it is injured. It seems to be asking for help.

Just then a car turns into the driveway and a woman gets out. She comes over and inspects it with me, and agrees there’s a chance it might be injured. Now there are two of us standing there and the bird doesn’t appear distressed, staying right where it is.

Luckily, the woman’s husband works for the council and will know who to call to collect the bird. She says she’ll give it half an hour and if its still there, they’ll ring someone. I’m satisfied with that and walk home.

This experience too, was heart warming and human. A complete stranger, she could have thought I was crazy for caring about this bird, but instead she offered to help me.

In Norse mythology both ravens and crows have a prominent role. As they do in other cultures too. So call it superstition if you like, but seeing this beautiful black crow/raven possibly in need of help was an omen for me. The Norse associate them with Odin and the Fates – death/change and wisdom. At the end of a day where I had a shift in my current world view, this was not strange or disconnected to what was going on. Not as far as I was concerned anyway.

I am no different from any other person, but I’m also no different from this bird. We’re all part of this universe, and in the end that makes us as one.

As I meditate on the slaying of my “demons”, I’m grateful for the odd experiences that have made up my day.

I’ve managed to grab a few insights, see “reality” a bit more clearly and connect with other human beings who have shown more warmth in those short encounters than I’ve experienced from the various recruiters and other people I’ve met on my job search thus far.

And then there’s my crow or raven. I don’t care which it is, but I’m glad it was there.

~Svasti