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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: Dancing

Feedback, grace and de-snarking

19 Wednesday Oct 2011

Posted by Svasti in Health & healing, Yoga

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Anger, Dancing, downward dog, feedback, Fibromyalgia, Grace, grattitude, Hashimoto’s, inflammation, Kinesiology, massage, Road rage, snappy, snarky, snippy, Yoga

Giant demon baby: lurking outside Melbourne's town hall

So I want to tell you about teaching last night, but I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.

I’m not.

I don’t think these things are so much about me, as a reflection of all of the wonderful teachings I’ve been fortunate enough to receive and pass on.

But I want to share what happened because so far in my still very early-days career as a yoga teacher, I’ve noticed that feedback from students – good or bad – doesn’t come around that often.

I mean, I’ve also noticed that as a student I too, do this lack of feedback thing. I go to classes that I love but I rarely share with my teacher how much I enjoy the class. Sure, I say “thank you” and smile and come back again and again. But as for implicit feedback that lets the teacher know what I’m getting out of the class? That’s not something I do very much.

And it’s a weird thing, being a new yoga teacher like me and sharing the teachings and… not really getting any information back from students. I get it, though. I mean, when a yoga class works for you, it creates a fairly internal experience. Really, it can be hard to share when you’re in that sort of space.

Then some days out of the blue and maybe after weeks or months, feedback arrives and it’s pretty WOW.

Like last night.

With downward dog/mountain pose, I like to observe how my beginner students fare before getting into sequences that use it a lot. Because while it looks like a really simple pose, there’s quite a lot going on!

I find there’s always a huge variance in how people interpret my initial instructions. Of course, there’s a bunch of reasons for that – body awareness, stiffness, injury and so on. So I get them to try the pose on for size. Then we talk about it a bit before I get them to try it again. There’s always an improvement the second time around, so I know they hear me once they’ve started to connect with their body a little more.

One girl had what I refer to as an “oh WOW moment”. With big wide eyes, she told me that she’s never felt comfortable doing that pose before and now it’s starting to make sense to her. She was astounded, but actually the astounding thing (as I told her later) is that she’s starting to connect to her own body and to the pose.

This is just the beginning, I said, keep up this sense of feeling and finding what works in your poses!

The other piece of feedback I had was after the class, from a student who’s been coming fairly steadily for about four months now. She’s a lesson in all of the things your students never tell you, even when you ask them to, and how much there is to learn from making time to talk with your students outside of the class.

Because until last night, I didn’t know she had fibromyalgia (no mention of it on her initial registration form!). She told me that doing yoga has transformed her health, which honestly makes my heart do a little dance. Yay, yoga!

BUT she wasn’t happy with the way the last two classes had been somewhat “disrupted” by individuals asking questions that were specific to their own needs. She likes it when the classes flow and we just get into what we’re doing. Which isn’t always possible, as I explained. This is a beginner’s yoga class and sometimes the beginners are total newbies who need specific help.

So we sat down for a little chat. I talked to her about inflammation, knowing from my conversations with Rachel that fibromyalgia/ME has a LOT in common with Hashimoto’s. And we talked about how anger and its cousins: irritation; frustration; annoyance (etc), are basically inflammation – which doesn’t help her health issues. She knew exactly what I was talking about.

I also told her that knowing all of that doesn’t mean that her frustrations don’t matter. They do, but that it’s another aspect of yoga, to work on finding ways to let go of that which irritates us because ultimately, it’s better for our health.

Holding onto anger = holding on to inflammation.

The win in this situation is this: her practice is showing her how easy it is to get irritated, and that’s actually an opportunity to do something about it.

So. What am I saying here?

I guess I’m saying… okay, from time to time, get into a little conversation with your yoga teacher. If they’re caring, they’ll be open to it. Tell them if you’re enjoying their class and/or if there’s something that bothers you. They’ll be very thankful for your words, I promise.

I’m also saying this – even if you don’t have fibromyalgia/ME, Hashimoto’s or any other condition caused by inflammation in the body, letting go of all the things that irritate you means less chance of ever succumbing to chronic inflammation and therefore, dis-ease.

So: work at defusing your road rage, and/or all those little things that niggle you in life. The stuff that makes you snarky, snippy or snappy at yourself/others on your bad days.

Because my lovelies, THAT is all inflammation. And too much inflammation will make you sick.

You can try things like kinesiology, yoga, massage, dancing and other kinaesthetic-based practices that help you connect with what’s really going on with yourself.

It isn’t easy, but it’s possible, says the formerly VERY ANGRY person writing this post.

Coz life is better when we’re not snarky at a moments notice – for us and everyone around us.

~ Svasti

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Trying a few things on #reverb10

19 Sunday Dec 2010

Posted by Svasti in Life, Writing prompts, Yoga

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Bali, birthday girl, birthday wish, Dancing, Edith Piaf, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kali girls, Linda Sama, lounge room boogie, try, yoga retreat, yoga-curious, yoga-loving, zumba


Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?
~December 18 prompt

Hmmm, in 2010 I wanted to bring more dancing back into my life and really, I’ve just not made time for that. Other than the odd lounge-room boogie, that is! Basically, yoga has consumed my down-time this year, not that I’m complaining!

But dance is definitely on the cards for 2011.

In fact, I’ve got a series of ten zumba classes paid for and I plan to start them in early January. I know zumba is one of the latest “crazes” and usually that’s enough of a reason for me to NOT try something. But heck, ten lessons for a bargain price of $37 was good enough for me. I’ll let you know how that goes!

Also, there’s something else I want to try and it’s a bit of a birthday wish of mine (and TODAY is my birthday – it’s also the birthday of Edith Piaf, Jake Mc-Hottie-Gyllenhaal and at least four other people I know in my own life).

I really REALLY want to try to meet up with my very good blog friend Linda-Sama!

We’ve been buddies now for well over a year. Probably longer actually, but I am terrible at keeping count of such things. We’re both straight-talkin’, no BS Kali girls and neither of us are afraid to call a spade a spade. There’s lots of kindred spirit between us and I just know we’d hit it off in person!

Linda is (*fingers crossed*) running a yoga retreat in Bali in May 2011 – and I really wanna go! But there’s a catch: in order for the retreat to go ahead, Linda needs a minimum of six people signed up.

I am one, but the only one so far! And for Linda and I to meet in person this coming year, I need five more wonderful yoga-loving (or even yoga-curious) people to sign on.

Note: It’s not just that I’m excited about meeting Linda, I’m VERY excited about doing some yoga with her too! If you haven’t read her blog before, then you should. She has lots of wonderful things to say about yoga, and from reading her posts, I can tell she’s my kind of yoga teacher with a capital Y and T…

My birthday wish…

So if you wouldn’t mind helping a birthday girl out, my wish is for you to share the news of Linda’s retreat far and wide. Share it with as many people as you can. Heck, sign up yourself if you’re so inclined coz it’d be awesome to meet more than one of my blog buddies at the same time.

We could have a party, yay!! And it would be in Bali, double yay!!

Please: spread the word and make a yogadork happy! 😀

And here’s one way you could help – please download the image below, post it to your blog/website and link the image to Linda’s retreat page. It’d be a whole lotta awesome if you did!

~Svasti

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Nothing is wrong

11 Friday Jun 2010

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Life

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Change, Dancing, Depression, Exhibit A, Fear, good luck fairies, grasping, inner yogi, lila, Meditation, nothing is wrong, Panic, perceived indestructibility, preferences, Sanskrit, thin-cold fingers, uncertain, unemployment, winter solstice, wrongness, Yoga

Middle of the year and all, only days from the winter solstice (in the southern hemisphere!) and there’s a heck of a lot of shifting going on.

In fact, there always is, right? It’s just that we tend not to notice so much when it doesn’t affect us personally.

Unless of course, you take up yoga, meditation or dancing or some other kind of activity that helps us uncover our sensitivity and connection to the world. Even then, it can be a little hit and miss, depending on how self-involved we are on any given day.

And even then, only if we learn to divest ourselves of attachments to this interaction of interconnected energies. The thing we call life. Because it’s the attachment to emotions, the rules of the game, our form and/or how we perceive others are perceiving us (for example), that keep us tethered to the rule book.

In Sanskrit, the word lila is used to describe life, but it actually translates back into English as ‘play’. The play of life.

Been getting a little freaked out in the last couple of weeks because the contract job I’m doing right now is finishing up at the end of the month. On the 25th to be exact. No extensions are being offered because the company is itself, going through a bunch of transformations.

Like unwelcome acupressure applied directly to the heart, I can taste just a hint of panic rising as the days of June tick by.

My freak out isn’t so much about things ending, as the reasonable possibility that I’ll be out of a job. Again. With two weeks to go, I still don’t have a job, or any interviews lined up. And yes, I’ve been doing everything I can!

And the soul-crippling depression and fear I experienced last year during four months of unemployment is attempting to creep its way back into the pit of my stomach like thin-cold fingers of smoke, grasping at my throat and whispering horror stories from back then.

Of course, I’m talking to a bunch of recruiters and have a several leads to follow up. But nothing is definite yet. Although, as I said to a recruiter I spoke to the other day – when is any job ever definite or secure?

Regardless, a dozen plans have taken up residence in my mind, attempting to allay any potential panic but actually, has led to a great deal of thrashing around as a result. Not so helpful!

But I’m waging a war against such uncertainties, because certainty really is so entirely uncertain. Is it not? We’d like to pretend otherwise, but our fragility and mortality are much closer to the edge of our perceived indestructibility than we think.

Clarity came again one night about a week ago as I took in a sweeping panoramic view of my life as it stands. I calculated how quickly I’ll run out of money this time around (really soon!) if I don’t get a job in a hurry. And considered how I might possibly avoid falling into the same black pit as last time.

But all of these thoughts were based on the premise that something in my life was wrong. Until that moment, I was pretty convinced of the wrongness of not having a job, wielding last year’s experience as Exhibit A. Those four months of unemployment were bad, according to the judgemental little voice in my mind.

Luckily, that judge-voice isn’t the only one speaking provocative ideas inside my head! The next question (proposed I think, by my inner yogi self) was: But what if nothing is really wrong at all?

It went on: The upset we feel when things go “wrong” is often more disturbing than the perceived wrongness itself. And we combine it with the situation we’ve proclaimed as wrong or bad, creating a seemingly insurmountable wall of stress. But really, is anything actually wrong?

For now, I’ve come down on the side of my inner yogi.

Nothing is inherently wrong, regardless of my preferences. Even if I don’t get a job again for months, and even if that means I can’t go on retreat in October (as per my current plans). Even if I have to get a flatmate or move out of my current place and sell most of my possessions. Even if I end up homeless, there’s still not actually anything wrong. It’s just life in action, and my response to those things is something I’m in charge of.

That doesn’t mean I won’t do everything I can to get a job. Of course I will!

My inner yogi wanted to know this, too: Can I apply this idea to any situation? To the BP oil spill? To the death of a child? To natural disasters? To the two year old child in Indonesia addicted to smoking?

Perhaps. I think it’s more truthful to admit that I’m not there yet, but working on it!

To say that nothing is inherently wrong doesn’t mean we don’t care when life gets shitty. We don’t stop participating in life. But we do learn to see the greater interplay of existence. The flow and play of life.

And this blog post represents my attempt to relax into that flow and accept whatever is coming my way, responding appropriately but doing everything I can to avoid falling into a pit of despair should life not go the way I want it to…

~Svasti

P.S. If you find any good luck fairies, please send them my way, stat! 😉

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Thousand-Hand Guan Yin

04 Monday May 2009

Posted by Svasti in Fun

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Buddhists, Dancing, Goddess of Mercy, Guan Yin

Guan Yin is the bodhisattva of compassion, revered by Buddhists as the Goddess of Mercy. Given the weekend I’ve just had, I thought this was appropriate to share with you all, not to mention other-worldly and beautiful.

In Buddhism, she’s the chick to reach out to when you need a hand.

This is absolutely stunning! If nothing else, let it be a lovely diversion from whatever is going on in your life right now…

Namaste, all.

~Svasti

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