• About Svasti
  • Crib notes
  • Poetry
  • Blog Awards
  • Advertising/offers of work

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: Employment

Couple of Monday evening notes…

04 Monday Oct 2010

Posted by Svasti in Fun

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Employment, lavender, Lentil as Anything, modem, Spring, wireless, yoga workshop

  • Here is some lavender for you. I don’t tend to it at all but it’s right outside my lounge room window and it’s pretty and purple. Something I very much associate with Spring!
  • My broadband modem finally died some time on Friday. It’d given me many years of service, and so I felt no guilt in upgrading to a brand-spanky new wireless modem. FREEDOM TO MOVE ABOUT THE APARTMENT WITH MY LAPTOP, W00t!!
  • I felt very naked without my broadband service.
  • As a result of this temporary internet nudity (not the dirty kind though), I’ve been a little out of touch and have many un-replied to emails to respond to. I’m getting there!
  • I’ve also been a little neglectful of commenting on my favourite blogs, too, because it aint as easy with my iPhone and I’m lazy like that…
  • Went to a FABULOUS yoga workshop in Saturday that a friend of mine was running. It was so awesome, and there will be a post about it soon! In fact, it’ll be all about my entire Saturday which was a complete anathema to the preceding days. 🙂
  • Also, looks like I might have a job! Not entirely sure it’s one I want, but then it’s one I will like and can do and the money is okay etc. More on that another time.
  • Am about to jump on my bike to go and meet the wonderful Sevapuri (@yidl) and his wife, who are in town right now. We’re eating vego-style at Lentil as Anything. In about 15 minutes…

Later, beautiful people!

~Svasti

-37.814251 144.963169

Euphoria & other things

06 Saturday Jun 2009

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Yoga

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

abundance, Corporate-landia, Denial, emotional honesty, Employment, euphoria, Hanumanasana, Malasana, Meditation, nadi shodhana, new job, Reality, Release, samskara, Spirituality, Surrender, Yoga, yoga retreat

Of late, my yoga practice has been revealing inner layers of truth, ironically ‘visible’, during meditation. Especially post-pranayama.

The other week it was two words, pulsing and glimmering like a coin underwater – emotional honesty – yes… that’s taken a little while to understand.

I cast my mind back to Sydney, mid-winter several years ago, on one of the numerous yoga retreats I’ve attended. We were about to do some kind of serious meditation work, and it’s customary to do such things with clean teeth.

Before we started, my Guru looked at us and asked, So have you all brushed your teeth?

My first instinct was to nod my head, even though I hadn’t. Nod, and say yes, rather than admit I’d forgotten, be different and stand out.

I learned a great lesson right there, when one of my fellow students unashamedly shook her head. Go on then, we were told. I scooted out the door with a couple of others.

I’m not a liar as such, but there’s been many a time like that where I’ve lied rather than face a perceived ‘scary’ reality, no matter how minor.

Emotional honestly is not something I grew up with. Just… telling it like it is. Instead it was a constant stream of deny, deny, deny. Deny anything, deny everything. My blood was steeped in denial.

These days I’m much braver but still, I have my moments.

Today, sitting in near stillness, once I was able to ignore the constant stream of inner chatter long enough… I could see… wow, almost like the mechanism of grasping, desperation and neediness that drives my actions sometimes.

Briefly I saw how this force sometimes creates activity that causes me to behave in ways I’d rather not. And I saw that somewhere in there, is the capacity to set that aside. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But sometime, sure.

Today in our yoga class, we did a lot of very deep forward bends ending with Malasana (garland pose) and Hanumanasana (the splits). Reaching into places that are usually left dormant, un-stretched. Moving slowly, repeatedly and determinedly.

It’s not surprising to find that yoga both generates and releases emotional states. Today’s asana class was highly, deeply and strongly moving and energising in the pits and creases of my body.

After some counter-poses, we eventually finished with nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing), which I always find very grounding and centering. It’s important to sit still for a while once you’ve finished and just… allow the sensations you’re experiencing to flow through you.

Right there, the chattering sufficiently ignored… I could see the ongoing suffering I cause myself through my samskaras (deeply embedded patterns of behaviour), and the choice we all have to step away from these patterns. Not without a lot of effort first, of course.

Leaving class, I felt incredibly euphoric and I’m still floating in that state…

Anyway, now for some other news:

Finally, after more than three long months, I HAVE A JOB!

I know… I should be celebrating this fact a little more. But I’m not. I am grateful – it came along right when I was about to have absolutely NO money at all.

However, it’s not my dream job. Sure, I’m working in my industry (digital media) but it’s a contract role (not permanent), its back in big Corporate-landia, and it’s really not the best money for a contract job either.

I also discovered the contract heavily favours the rights of the company (they can terminate my role with no notice – I’m sure a sign of the current financial times), while affording me almost no rights… except to get paid.

Then, the organisation I’m contracting through pays fortnightly, but it’s actually going to be three weeks until I’m paid for the first six days of work, leaving me with precious little cash (all I’ve got) to get by on until then.

However, the people there are nice. So I’m trying to stave off the sense of foreboding I feel being back in an uber-large company (it’s been almost twelve months since I quit my previous corporate gig).

Ironically, the day I was verbally offered this role, I was also offered another (less lucrative) contract, and an interview for a permanent role. Even more ironically, I had that interview at lunch time of the first day on the new job this week (Thursday). Then, on the Friday another recruiter rang with an interview request for another permanent role. That one will be Tuesday after work.

Feast or famine, right?

Usually, I’m very loyal to my employer, sometimes to my own detriment. But recent times have shown that’s not the most prudent course of action. So, given the relative lack of stability of my contract job (when is a contract not really a contract? When there’s a ‘no notice’ clause in it!), I’m taking a slightly more aggressive line.

I guess I’ll see what happens – could be I get offered neither permanent role (my fate in recent times) – but then again, I might. And I will keep looking.

In the mean time, I’m repeating my yoga teacher’s oft-repeated mantra – there will always be enough – while I prepare to live on a tiny amount of cash for a few weeks to come yet.

And, I’ll also keep attempting to disengage with the samsaric patterning I’ve just witnessed so clearly. If I can surrender that, and strive to live as emotionally honestly as possible, hopefully I’ll be open to new opportunities I might not otherwise have a shot at.

~ Svasti

Synchronicity and success

11 Saturday Oct 2008

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Spirituality

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Astrology, Black Seeds, Employment, Gigs, Job, Leather boots, Little black dress, Predictions, Reggae, Success, Synchronicity, Zombie

I’ve been off the air most of the last two days. Things have been a tad hectic.

And I’m sorry to say I have been holding out on y’all a little. So here it is – a synopsis of the last week, with a focus on my Thursday and Friday…

The other week I wrote about my most recent Vedic astrology phone reading on Sunday and some of the predictions that I was given.

One of the main things I was interested in, is if I was EVER gonna get a job again any time soon. Now, in my post about the reading, I wrote: “Josie thinks I should be offered a job pretty imminently“. Imminently was my interpretation of what she actually said – which was, “I won’t be surprised if you get a job this week“.

I didn’t convey exactly what she said because you know, I was lacking confidence. Not in Josie’s prediction, just in myself. And it was a pretty definite statement. But guess what??

Yep! I FINALLY HAVE A NEW JOB!! Start Monday. Whoo hoo!! 🙂

I had my first interview with them on Tuesday afternoon. The fact this interview happened at all was amazing, since I’d somehow managed to include an old email address with my job application. Doh! Quite unforgivable for someone who’s a geek. So they were trying to email me and getting a permanent bounce. Luckily for me, they actually bothered to pick up the phone and call me anyhow.

I was booked in for an hour, but when we looked up it was ten minutes short of two hours. I met with the company owner and their Business Development Manager. Things definitely felt positive, but I’ve been there before in recent times, so I wasn’t gonna believe it just yet.

But in that session, they asked for my references and told me they wanted to see me for a second interview. As I was leaving, the guy who owns the company said: “I feel like we’ve all had a really great connection“. Sounded a little like what you might say after a good first date! But… so far, so good.

Then I got the call about another day of temp work on Thursday. And then I had my morning saved by a very kind human being. The temp work was pretty much doing nothing all day and getting paid for it. Sweet!

Thursday night my friend L and I had tickets to a gig (awesome reggae band called the Black Seeds).

In the afternoon, I checked my emails to find out I’d been asked back in for a second interview on Friday. I said yes ofcourse. BUT I didn’t have any suitable interview clothes with me… so after I finished doing nothing all day at 5pm, I hurried over to the big mall near L’s work.

Once again, I said a couple of quick prayers – let me find something to wear for tomorrow’s interview, let me find it quickly and make sure it goes with my black leather boots (the only footwear I had with me).

As many of you gals out there well know, shopping for something specific in a short timeframe isn’t always easy. But I found a funky little black dress and some accessories within thirty minutes!

Unbeknownst to me, L had told a certain boy of our plans for the evening. The one who recently caused me some confusion. He kinda invited himself along. So the three of us had drinks, then dinner (which the boy went out of his way to pay for). Then t’was off to the gig. My word, I had no idea Kiwis could rock the reggae so well! I was a bliss zombie before the night was out – we crashed around 2am.

But good news about the state of confusion – I have no idea what this boy’s motives are, but I’ve definitely decided he’s not for me. He plays things way too coy which aint good for a straight shooter. I need things to be a little more upfront than that! So I’m just going to enjoy his friendship and that’s all. [Relief!]

Friday morning I rocked up for my interview in my cute ‘n’ funky outfit and was pretty much offered the job straight up. This time I was in there for almost four hours – talking through some more of my experience, looking at some technical stuff and then they took me out to lunch! Its a very small business full of smart and friendly people. Think I’m gonna like it there.

The money is actually a little more than I wanted, and my first day on Monday will be a road trip to meet some clients a couple of hours out of town, tagging along with the Business Development Manager.

It will be different, working with only a handful of people instead of the large corporate world I’ve come from. But I think its definitely a good thing, and a much needed change from “same-same” experienced in large companies with so much corporate bullshit and red tape.

And then three for three – on hearing the good news, my parents decide to spring for dinner. Perhaps they’re just glad that soon I’ll be getting out of their hair?? 😉

So yay! I wanted to thank those of you who’ve been listening to me mope and complain here. New adventures await…

~Svasti

Follow me on Twitter Subscribe to my posts via RSS Follow me on Twitter or subscribe to RSS!
Svasti's Public Declaration of Excellently Awesome Future Life Plans

Enter your email address to receive email notifications of new posts.

Join 386 other subscribers

Archives

Browse by category

Recent Posts

  • My father’s been slowly dying for almost a year now
  • It’s all about my brother
  • The work continues
  • In case you missed it…
  • Two Words Project: 2012 summary
  • Looking both ways
  • A forked road
  • Who am I becoming?

Guest posts by me on other blogs

  • Yoga with Nadine: 5 Key Tips for Healing From Trauma
  • The Joy of Yoga: Guest post from Svasti
  • Suburban Yogini: My yoga story
  • BlissChick: EmBody Talk: Svasti, Yogini & Survivor
  • CityGirl Lifestyle: A Pearl of Wisdom {by Svasti}
  • Linda's Yoga Journey: I don't know how old yoga is and neither do you - part 1
  • And part 2
  • Getting help

  • Beyond Blue (Australia)
  • Black Dog Institute
  • EMDR Assoc. Australia
  • Gift From Within
  • Root Cause of PTSD
  • Trauma & mental health
  • Women Against Domestic Violence
  • Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

    Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
    To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
    • Follow Following
      • Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness
      • Join 146 other followers
      • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
      • Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness
      • Customize
      • Follow Following
      • Sign up
      • Log in
      • Report this content
      • View site in Reader
      • Manage subscriptions
      • Collapse this bar
     

    Loading Comments...