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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: Gypsy curse

Wheels, whispers and all that is

30 Tuesday Dec 2008

Posted by Svasti in Learnings

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Aztec calendar, Chapel Street, Constellations, Cricket, Dogma, General consensus, Greasepaint, Gypsy curse, Paris Hilton, Reality, Religion, Sport, Unrehearsed, What's left, Yogic studies

Today there was almost a teensy stoush at my office… a handful of us working the two and a half days til New Year’s Eve, with only my good self representing the female quotient. The boys – keeping tabs on the cricket.

I made the error of stating my opinion – I don’t think cricket is actually a sport – partly in jest, part seriously… which earned the wrath of certain geeky developer types… how dare I denigrate one of their sacred cows?

Is sport a religion? In Australia, possibly so! 😉

Which morphed into a ridiculous conversation on definitions, general consensus, labels, logic and meanings… as I purposely steered towards the whacky, the offended were determined to take issue.

Whoops, just slipped beneath the radar of ‘accepted’ reality for a moment there folks! Wrong audience, yeah, wrong audience…

Oh, and apparently Paris Hilton dropped by for a spot of shopping – Chapel Street is an uppity shopping zone – I missed the whole thing. Yawn…

If there’s anything I’ve learned from the past few years in recovery, as well as from my yogic studies… one person’s definition of anything is not another’s.

And whilst some may accuse me of dogma, that is their right. But – that does not make them right. And – at the exact same time, nor am I, for that matter. Stick that in yer pipe!!

What matters… is seeing reality as it really is. Not as easy as it sounds, slippery varmint…

I backed away from today’s is-cricket-a-sport-or-isn’t-it debate, knowing full well it could’ve become unpleasant.

Not because I’m incapable of holding my own intellectually. But emotionally, I’m in no place for a battle where unpleasantness is included.

Of course, it wouldn’t look like that to others. But I’m not explaining myself… and so the great divide of reality reveals itself, in part.

If you look close enough.

Who says everything has to make sense, anyway?

Get used to contradictions and accept both positions, a wise man once told me.

Then, if any-thing that’s without is also within, who am I to argue?

I’m turning, the year is whirring, there’s a buzz in the air. Magic’s happening, transforming, time returning to itself. Tendrilly strands float lightly – some forwards, others back. Yet all is here and now, anyways… so, what to do with that? There’s a pace, slightly speedier than a meaningful stroll to complete important chores…

I see now, where I am… it’s not so much where I’ve been, but that which remains… still real in some way. The apparitions fade as the year drains away; dying moments wafting like fragrant incense. But mostly… no longer here.

No, I don’t know what I’ll say tomorrow for the most part, or the next day. I purposely hold off from planning it out. Therein lays the excitement… possibility… potential.

I want it to be real, not imagined or rehearsed. My opening lines may sputter before natural brilliance is revealed, but then, you’re seeing me as I am. Without the greasepaint. No costumes.

Oh sure, there are bigger plans afoot, the constellations by which I navigate my course, now that I have a future again… if I ever did, if I have a say at all (I’ve sometimes doubted that), and assuming that gypsy curse ever has a use-by date.

~Svasti

Trippin’ the light quirk-tastic

07 Friday Nov 2008

Posted by Svasti in Fun

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Anthropology, Audition, Childrens' theatre, Drag queen, Drugs, Gypsy curse, Imaginary friend, John Bertrand, Meme, Monologue, Moving house, Pantomime, Quirky, Weird

A little while back Christa over at Giggle On! tagged me with a meme.

I’ve always been, hmmm, a little unsure about memes coz they seem to be as random as those emails you get occasionally: “All about me!”. Where you’re meant to fill out this sort of questionnaire and send it on to your friends.

I guess the idea is you’re perhaps sharing different things with the people in your life, unless, you know – you actually talk to them and they know you fairly well.

That, or its just something to do when you’re bored at work for ten minutes and you just wanna to prattle on about the insipid details of your life…

But none of my other blog posts are cooperating at the moment, so I decided I might as well write something. So here I am. Hi meme. Hi Svasti, wanna play? Okay…

The meme says to list 7 weird or quirky things about yourself.

As per my initial comment to Christa, if you’ve read my blog you can probably count at least a dozen quirks of mine already. But here’s a few more for your entertainment:

  1. Two for one: I could float/swim before I could walk and I could read my older brother’s books (two years ahead) before I went to primary school.
  2. When I was a small child, one of my imaginary friends was called ‘fucking bastard‘ – inspiration courtesy of the foul mouthed over-the-fence neighbours. My mother wasn’t impressed.
  3. I’ve lived in at least eighteen houses in my life. Since I was 21, I’ve never lived in the same house for more than 3 years. I hate moving but unfortunately its my gypsy curse.
  4. I did the whole drug taking thing in my late teens/early twenties (everything but heroin) – but kind of thought of myself as an anthropologist. I studied myself and my friends and questioned why we were doing all that sh*t.
  5. From the ages of 18-20, I worked as an actor in a childrens’ pantomime theatre – instead of payment for performances, we got free acting, voice and other related training. It was cool. And I was broke but happy.
  6. I once took a tip for audition monologue ideas from a drag queen around 3am in the morning.
  7. As an under-10 learn-to-sail child, I ranted crossly at the father of two boys who’d put a crack in my boat when I had right of way. I think you should teach your sons to sail properly, I told John Bertrand.

So there!  🙂

I’m not gonna tag anyone – but if you wanna play go ahead! Write your own post and let me know in the comments. Or… just throw a quirk or two out there in the comments section if ya can be bothered…

I’m off to get ready for my big night out – seeing my celebrity crush. Jeff Martin (former leader of the Tea Party). He’s the only musician I get a serious case of ‘fan girl’ about. He’s hot and talented… sigh… drool…

‘Kthxbai!

~Svasti

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