The skinny on Shadow Yoga – part 2

Tags

Asana, dandasana, glowing, Hatha yoga, philosophy, Prasarita Padottanasana, Shadow Yoga, Shandor Remete, virasthana, Yoga, Yoga teacher

[Read part 1 first]

Have you ever considered your body’s limitations as ‘just how things are?’, only to discover that it’s not really true? It was never true; but it’s just what we thought of ourselves and our body. Yet, despite that realisation, we still give little consideration to our other limitations – of the body or mind.

And I’m not just talking about lack of flexibility in your hips (for example). I mean, things like… the physicality of ankles that seemingly do not touch when you’re seated in dandasana (feet straight out in front of you). How can that change when its about how your body is made? Or do you just *think* that’s how it is on a very deep level?

My body aches desperately from the very hard work asked of us. Even with movements I dread because I can’t quite do them properly and because they require much strength, I’m willing to try again and again. In this, I found that what I think I know about my body is shifting. And I realised it wasn’t my body being built a certain way that stopped me – it was just my thoughts that said so.

Right in the moment when I realise this, I leap ahead of where I thought I was at to discover the truth. My body wants to weep while it celebrates, too…

~Notes from an immersion, January 2010

Shadow Yoga was developed by Shandor (Zhander) Remete – he has a background in Iyengar Yoga and martial arts, but developed the Shadow Yoga practice and philosophy from reading early Hatha Yoga and Tantrik texts. All of these influences can be observed in the practice, but Shadow Yoga is something else again.

When first coming to the practice, everyone learns a series of “warm up” exercises, as shown in the video below. While some of these actions may appear simple and unimportant, they in fact establish patterns of movement that are important later in the practice.

Now, because Shadow Yoga is so complex, I’ve decided to use the format of a very traditional way of teaching Tantrik philosophy – with an outer, inner and secret meaning (where secret just means hidden or less obvious) – to describe what I know so far.

(This is just a way to help me organise my thoughts on various aspects of the practice a little better!)

Also, please note that the below observations are from my experiences – what I’ve been taught and what I’ve learned. I reserve the right to update this list at any time if what I learn changes over time 🙂

• Outer – Including: set forms of movement and asana; a focus on correct movement of joints and limbs; pre-asana asana (that help you do asana correctly and without injuring yourself); building physical strength; and learning to move without forcing yourself, because this is not a competition…
• Inner – Including: a strong focus on breath work and correct use of Uddiyana bandha, (Bandhas = locks, there are four of them and Uddiyana is the abdominal contraction) which is practiced every class and eventually there’s meant to be a 1:1 uddiyana contraction with each movement. Everything about the practice is designed to reduce excess apana vayu, which is the energy/chi responsible for processes of elimination in the body. This correlates to toning of the digestive system, increased agni (digestive fire) and increased flexibility of one’s joints (ankles, wrists, hips etc).
• Hidden – This is the hardest part to describe accurately, because it’s going to be different for everyone. But to summarise, I’d say it involves the deconstruction of physical, energetic and emotional limitations, resulting in all kinds of experiences that may or may not seem related at the time.

For example(s):

One class, I vomited part of the way through, but not because of anything I ate! Other times I’ve simply found tears rolling silently down my face. And I can’t count the number of classes I’ve walked out of at the end and found myself unsure of who or what I am. Or I realise part way through that my feet or the crown of my head are tingling wildly.

Note: as stand-alone experiences, none of what I described in the last paragraph is important. It’s not like I’m all whooo, I’ve just had a “mystical experience”, let’s burn some incense and talk about it… Not at all! Rather, I see them as indicators of internal activity that I sometimes barely understand the meaning of and try not to over-analyse…

These classes tend to bring on some very intense energetic, emotional and physical sensations for me. Not every single class, but a fair portion of them. And way more than any other type of yoga I’ve experienced to date. It might not be like this for other people, and some yogis may have similar experiences by doing another form of yoga all together. But for me and at least for now anyway, Shadow Yoga is the bomb.

The classes are investigative, in a way I’ve rarely come across. Sometimes we do a lot of asana and others it’s more like a workshop, a kind of question and answer session with asana in between. It’s not a class for those who wish to hide; you enter the studio to discover more about the practice each time. To break down the way you are moving and to observe others, too. A bit like a science lab instead of a competitive-who-has-the-best-asana environment.

Often I find myself thinking I won’t be able to do something we’re asked to do. It looks hard, and it is hard when each movement is being studied so intensely. But then I realise I can. Perhaps not as gracefully as I’d like at first. But eventually it comes and I am elated.

As both a yogini and a yoga teacher, my experience of Shadow Yoga is that it helps correct some long-held bad habits in my practice and invaluably, it deepens my knowledge of yoga and bodily movement. Oh yeah, and it helps me shift all kinds of suppressed energy, which can only contribute to better health (lately I get told that I’m “glowing” a lot!).

One example of this is my somewhat hyper-flexible knees. For years I simply thought I couldn’t hold prasarita padottanasana for long because it hurt my knees – a standing, deep forward bend can put a lot of pressure on them, especially those that hyper-extend. Now, whether it’s because I never really expressed my issue with this pose before or if it was just down to less than perfect instruction (and I’m sure when I start teaching, I will be guilty of this for a while!)… but for a person with crazy knees, it’s not a good idea to advise them to pull up through their hamstrings and quadriceps. That’s because the natural tendency of over-extending knees when doing so, is to lock, leading to eventual ruination!

However, one of the focuses in Shadow Yoga is releasing the body’s weight into the feet as much as possible for the entire practice. And so prasarita padottanasana transformed for me when I stopped focusing on what my leg muscles were doing (of course, they still need to work) and started focusing on my feet! Suddenly I didn’t feel like I was in a war with my knees any longer…

I consider myself to be at the beginning of some kind of very extended journey with this practice. It’s not separate from other yoga I do at all. But it is markedly different, and intense and exacting (not in an Iyengar-y kind of way) – more of a detailed under-the-microscope-study of where my body and mind are at on any given day.

And I am in awe of the power of this practice.

~Svasti

On becoming a yoga teacher – part 2

Tags

Asana, Guru, Hatha yoga, initiation, Love, Sanskrit, self-confidence, self-knowledge, Yoga, Yoga teacher, yoga teacher training, yoga-ish insights, Yogini

[Read part 1 first]

It’s really only been in the last five years that I’ve started to understand yoga asana more fully. But until recently, I remained very unsure of myself as a yogini.

I can’t really explain why. I think that unlike RB sticking her hand up, my tendency has always been to shrink into the corner.

Around the time I took initiation into my Guru’s lineage, I decided I wanted to deepen my knowledge and ability with asana. But it still took me a while to do something (anything) about it.

As previously mentioned my therapist H, prompted me on what I’d like my life to look like at a time where I couldn’t see fifty meters in front of me. And surprisingly I found myself telling her I wanted to be a yoga teacher. I’d never told anyone that. Not even myself!

I signed up for the Hatha Yoga Studies Certificate course instead of the Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) even though I wanted to do the latter because I still didn’t feel ready (oh ye of little faith in oneself).

But for once I felt like I was in the right forum to ask those burning questions about asana I had trouble with. After all, I’d paid for the privilege of being in a small dedicated class where it was all about breaking down each pose and working through our challenges. For once I felt okay confiding my imperfections and getting the advice I needed to resolve them.

It was heavenly! Four to five hours of yoga – practicing asana and talking theory = my idea of a good time. Oh yeah baby!

Actually, it was only by doing the course that I realised I was ready for YTT (the two courses are identical until half-way through, so it wasn’t a hassle to switch). Still, I’m not sure I would’ve switched if I hadn’t been encouraged.

I’m deeply grateful for a number of things about my YTT.

First up, it was a 500 hour course. Not that there’s anything wrong with shorter trainings, but I really liked how that extra time allowed us to delve into some of the more esoteric aspects of yoga: the sort of stuff I’ve been studying for years and really enjoy.

Secondly, the course was paced out over almost an entire year. I know of others that are completed much more quickly! Some people even asked me why the course took such a long time to complete?! BUT there’s so much information to take in, and not just trying to memorise the Sanskrit names of asanas, or perfecting your practice (you never will!) or learning a little anatomy and physiology. Becoming a yoga teacher or any kind of teacher really… is a process. And the one important thing a process needs is time – to gestate, steep, mature, transform, explore, grow.

Also, I’m so glad I did my training at a school with heart. The heart very much comes from the woman who runs the school – M. She’s a great example of a yogini who takes her yoga off the mat and into everyday life. Not only did she help out many students who struggled financially last year (including me), but she also has a habit of donating to those in need. Something that is very close to my heart. And it shows in how she treats her students, as well as the quality of people who support her and teach there.

I learned many yoga-ish things (of course) in YTT, but also discovered a bunch of insights along the way, including:

• Flow in your yoga practice comes from confidence and self-knowledge. It’s not just about understanding how to sequence your asana. You’ve got to get a feel for what your body needs. Then, it can almost look like you’re dancing.
• Teaching yoga isn’t just about standing at the front of a class and giving instructions. It’s about making sure your students get what you’re saying. And sharing your love of yoga, your experiences and insights (where appropriate) and offering challenges for students and for yourself, too. In fact, it’s about being a human being, relating to other human beings.
• Without doubt, teaching is a learning experience. A reflection on your ability to be in the moment and put aside your issues with yourself. Because it’s not about you, the teacher, and you can’t be worried about your physical appearance or anything else while you’re teaching.
• That old maxim “those who can’t do, teach” isn’t true at all for yoga (and probably many other disciplines, too). Yoga teachers must practice yoga, must understand what they are asking others to do before they can even think of approaching the front of the room.
• Then, a yoga teacher must continue to practice – it’s not like you finish your YTT and you can suddenly do every asana perfectly! Or that once a pose is perfected, it will stay that way without effort. No way!
• Becoming a yoga teacher does not automatically make someone a perfected yogi or person: there will always be something that’s hard or seemingly impossible. Yoga teachers are simply sharing the teachings in the best way they know how, which is (hopefully) always changing and growing.
• To really teach yoga, one must attempt to remain humble and open at all times. It’s not about being an authority figure!

As well as facing down my depression and PTSD, the training also made me take a look at my self-confidence. Like… when I was first asked to practice-teach a class, I was terrified. Even if I was only working with one other person!

I was afraid of listening to my own voice, to be honest. Of sounding/feeling confident in leading someone through a sequence of poses. And of feeling comfortable enough to look someone in the eye while I instructed them in how to move their body.

It felt so intimate, and that’s because it is. It’s an extremely intimate and sensitive activity and it requires you to forget about yourself. Put aside your issues and whatever negative self-talk you usually spruik. After all, how can students in your care do the same thing for themselves if you’re busy giving yourself a hard time?

Also, putting aside your ‘stuff’ creates space for miracles to occur both for the teacher and the student. Miracles of love, of being able to master physical movements that have previously been out of reach. Allowing that open space to be free of self-doubt creates possibility…

Most of all, I think I’ve learned how to make yoga practical and doable for myself and others. YTT helped bring into focus something my Guru would tell us repeatedly: yoga isn’t about perfect form; it’s about synchronising your body and mind.

I feel that the repetition YTT over the course of an entire year is what sealed it for me. The fire was stoked in the first half of the year, lit when I switched to YTT and finally, turned into a brilliant source of light, warmth and refinement.

And now it’s up to me – what will I do with that flame? What fuel will I use to keep it alight?

That’s where I stand right now: one foot firmly on this brand new path with an open heart and a desire to share…

~Svasti

Yoga, Awards & Bushfires

Tags

blog award, bush fires, CFA, Ganesha, Hatha yoga, Nataraj, Prayers, Yoga

Yoga…

So, last night I went to my first class at the yoga school where I’ll be studying this year.

Lovely school, got to meet the principal and one of the yoga teachers who’ll be around for parts of the training. Her class was a lovely mix of Vinyasa, Hatha and Iyengar styles and very enjoyable.

There’s beautiful art on the walls – a painted Nataraj here, a Ganesha there, a Kali yantra over the other side… books that I recognise and rate line the hallway, too.

There’s an orientation on 21st Feb, and then we commence the following Saturday. Yay! 🙂

Bloggy award goodness

Okay, so the other day, Holly from Earth to Holly gave me a blog award, which I’ve duly posted on my awards page (things were getting a little cluttered in the side bar).

As I mentioned to Holly, I’ve got a kinda ‘hybrid’ approach to these things.

Don’t wanna offend those doing the offering (so I say thanks and accept them, coz its lovely!), but also get a bit exhausted thinking of blogs I haven’t passed an award on to. Stopped doing so after my second or third one I think! So, if I’m feeling inspired I’ll give them out as and when…

Victoria’s bushfires

Last, but definitely far from least – I wanted to mention the horribleness that are the bushfires Australia is currently experiencing. Most of them are occuring in the state of Victoria (where I live) and so far, they’ve claimed at least 183 lives.

I am safe – don’t live anywhere near the regions they are occuring in. And unlike the fires that encircled Sydney some years ago, from Melbourne we can’t even smell the smoke, the sky above us isn’t red and there’s nothing other than the dreadful photos to show us how bad it really is.

Sadly, it seems that a number of fires were started by people. Deliberately lit. Then with the 46C day we had last Saturday with hellish winds, there’s so many people who just never stood a chance.

There’s an incredibly vivid piece of journalism in The Australian (a rather decent newspaper here) – written by a journalist who actually fought for his house and the lives of his family. Worth a read.

Of those who survived the fire, so many families have lost everything. These fires have wiped out whole towns in country Victoria.

If you’ve got a spare coin or two, there’s plenty of ways you can donate – such as the Australian Red Cross or the Salvation Army.

But if you can’t afford to send money, spread the word to those who can and also send your thoughts and prayers. Anything is good at a time like this.

**UPDATE** Check out these pictures, which show in graphic detail the nastiness of the fires…

~Svasti