I can’t believe it’s not…

Tags

beaches, Clear seeing, Cleopatra the Cat, coiffed, down the wire, eyebrow wax, Game Plan, Hollywood Eyebrows, I can't believe it's not butter, immersion, interconnected energy body, introspection, Kinesiology, kooky, Making of Plans, Retreat, Shadow Yoga, Thailand, Yoga

Butter? Chocolate? Retreat?

Yeah, maybe the end one. There’s been plenty of the first two around, so I know they aren’t facsimiles. Or… is the pun (Fabio included) not actually about facsimiles at all? I mean, today I went for an eyebrow wax and was told the method was something called Hollywood Eyebrows. As though it was something different. But the end result was nicely shaped and coiffed (can eyebrows BE coiffed?) brows, so… you say tomato, and you know the rest.

So. I’m not in Thailand, obviously. Not on retreat, where I wish I was. And at first I thought a teensy little part of me was sulking about that. Maybe I was. But then, this quiet time that’s meant less Svasti posts and well, really, a heck-load of other stuff… it’s not about sulking. And don’t get me wrong – there’s been PLENTY of yoga going on!

How do I put this without sounding entirely kooky? Uhhh, perhaps there isn’t any way to do that. So, ahhhh… okay. The bond formed with my teacher and fellow students means that I’m part of this wider and pretty much always interconnected energy body. I mean, generally speaking ALL people are part of an interconnected energy body, but our group was formed quite intentionally and with a lot of energy, meditation and ceremony behind it.

So, even if I’m not with my teacher and fellow students when they’re together doing a lot of spiritual practice (which has happened a handful of times only since I was initiated into the school), I find that down the wire, I get the the gist of what’s going on anyway. Even if they happen to be half a world away.

Really.

There’s energetic stuff that happens, things I feel, messages I receive (not as emails though!) and the general overall tone of whatever’s going on. Then there’s the physical stuff (okay, I’m not quite ready to share all the details about that). BUT, let’s just say it’s all happening again. I thought maybe this time it wasn’t going to be like that and for a while I thought I was right. Because usually the energy that comes out of retreat is BIG and DYNAMIC but this time it seems to be much more introspective. Quiet revelations and deep inquiry that’s blossoming into Something New. Dunno what it is yet, but it’s definitely happening.

And before you say, oh, that’s not necessarily anything to do with your group half a world away, things like that are going on for me too! Let me just add that yes, that’s very possible. All of our retreats are based around specific times of the year, so that astrologically (if you go in for that stuff) whatever we’re doing is supported by the universe in every possible way. So you could say that in general, right now is a huge time of change for many people.

And things have been profound while I’ve been all radio-silence-like. I’ve been doing a lot of Clear Seeing. And Making of Plans. And Realising I Don’t Have To Live In Bolivia To Be Happy. And figuring out a new Game Plan. One that’s gonna make me Happy, without sacrificing myself for others (bad, bad habit of mine!).

So that’s what’s been going on for me, in so many words anyhow.

In other news…

• While it’s not a huge HOORAY but perhaps a HooRay moment… I have finally found some permanent (for now) work. In the digital media industry but quite outside the usual sorts of companies I work for, I guess. Which is both good and bad. Let’s just call it a lifestyle choice, which means it’s not the most highly paid job in the world, but it’s damn-well-stable. And right now, I need a bit of Stable. Actually, I need a LOT of Stable. So it’s good for that, and also for being near some of the more beautiful beaches you can visit in Melbourne (without driving and hour or two south or south-west around the bay).
  It’s good-ish, but not what I really want to be doing. And yet, I don’t feel like I’m selling my soul by taking this job, so that’s an improvement, yes?
• And… still hunting down places where I can set up yoga classes. Not as easy as you might think!!
• Speaking of butter, I think I might have finally perfected making my grandmother’s coconut biscuits. Quite a simple recipe, but awesomely delicious, too. The trick is making sure you cook them not too little, not too long. Juuuust right!
• Miss Kitty (Cleopatra the Cat) has been in the wars and also in my wallet, getting in some kind of cat fight (we think) and had quite a close shave really with a BAD bite in one of her back legs. Poor meow! For her troubles, she was awarded stitches, a drainage tube and the weekend spent at the vet’s practice.
  

  A cone-headed kitty

  She’s been in the plastic cone since it happened. The drainage tube came out last Thursday and this Thursday she has her stitches out and the cone comes off! Thanks Miss Kitty, I really, really could have used that $550 for you know… getting by until I get paid. But whatever! I’m just glad she’s okay now (almost back to her normal self).

• YAY for next Monday! I’ve been paying attention to my intuition which said Get Thee To A Kinesiology Session! So on Monday evening I’ll be seeing Kerry. (Can I have another YAY?) It’s been a while since my last one.
• I am almost back to normal in terms of my desire to write more. The introspection phase is passing, and it’s been wonderful.
• From tomorrow evening I have a yoga-ish house guest staying for two weeks. She’s a fellow Shadow Yoga student and she’s visiting from New Zealand. I offered to billet her because, well why not, eh?

~Svasti

Personal space

Tags

boundaries, introspection, mausoleum of dead knickers, old clothes, old knickers, personal boundaries, personal space, primary school, toilet stalls, Yogic

I often feel like I don’t understand the whole deal with personal boundaries properly.

Not particularly yogic of me I know, but hey, we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

Like, this one time in primary school (don’t know exactly when but I think I was pretty young still), I remember being in the bathroom stall next to a friend. And I wanted to say hi, so I climbed on the toilet seat and peaked over the top – ‘Hi Melissa!’.

Not to be creepy or strange, just because I wanted to say hi.

But apparently Melissa didn’t see my actions in the spirit I’d intended. Instead, she exacted her revenge… next time I was in there, bringing a handful of our friends to look over and under the door and giggle.

Not that I minded, really. But I didn’t understand either, why she felt like she had to do that. And I was still a little confused (then, not now) about why she was mad…

These days, if I was an inch or two taller, I’d be able to see over many bathroom stall divider walls completely unintentionally, and without climbing up on anything (erm, not that I would).

On the flip side, it makes me queasy thinking about the end-of-lifecycle treatment of clothes. When things are see-through, holey or otherwise falling apart way past redemption… most stuff ends up in the rubbish bin, except if it’s in an okay enough condition to give to charity.

Unless of course, a second life as cleaning rags is possible. Even then, cutting in to pieces fabric that’s spent so much time on my body… feels weird.

And I’m confused when throwing out underwear, especially. When’s the optimal time to give it up? How do you put clothing you’ve worn that close to your genitals into the same bin asthe vegetable peelings, redundant but non-recyclable packaging, and unpalatable leftovers (etc)?

I do it though, of course. It’s not like I have some kind of mausoleum of dead knickers, but still, it always feels strange throwing them out.

And I think… maybe that’s what I’m like dealing with people, too? I never know when too close is or isn’t good, or when things should be discarded, or even if they’re meant to be discarded or not. Can they be revitalised? Should they be?

My ability to distinguish and understand is somewhat impaired, I fear. Am I giving enough space? Too much? Am I crowding?

Seems my sense of personal space is fluid and strange and yet, leaves me sometimes feeling like I’m not where I want to be. Or, wondering what happened and why things or people are so far away, suddenly not easy to understand and most impenetrable.

Then, trying to understand, I perhaps crash through the unseen boundaries of others, making a bit of a mess in the process.

It’s never my intention but hey, it’s just me looking over the bathroom stall to say ‘Hi, what’s up?’ and never realising my gaffe til the china shop’s been trashed.

Sigh… a little more Svasti-introspection required please!

~Svasti