Where to next?

Tags

Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha, C’est la vie, Jobless, Liberated, People watching, Plans, St Kilda, The Espy, Unemployed, Yoga

So, a funny thing happened on Friday, the day after my song haunting happened again…

I lost my job.

My (now former) employers told me at the very end of the day. But that little voice I’ve mentioned here a few times, it told me all day that something was up, even though I didn’t have any reason to suspect it.

It came down to money. They were hoping to be in a position to grow the company, but given the current economic climate and whatever other factors… they haven’t been able to make the sales they need. I blame the recession.

And so, my role has been terminated. They’ve given me one week’s notice (they actually owe me two, and I’m looking into that), and I have some accrued holidays.

They also gave me the option to take the notice period in lieu, and guess what? I decided that’s a good idea.

And that actually allows me to go hang out at the hospital tomorrow and meet my brand new niece (after she’s born via scheduled c-section).

Have to say though, that before the shock and freak out started to kick in, the very first reaction I had was relief.

I haven’t said much about it here, but it’s been a pretty stressful job, which hasn’t been so great given all the recent emotional upheavals I’ve been dealing with… it is a particularly disorganised place to work, and my bosses were not very supportive at all.

So in the last month I’d been looking around for a new job, as I wasn’t planning to stay anyway… it’s just always nicer when you don’t lose your old job before you get the next!

Financially I’m okay for a little while. Looks like my little tax refund bonus is gonna be used for living expenses til there’s more moolah rolling in. C’est la vie…

But I have plans, plenty of them. In fact, just after I was given the news, I stayed behind at the coffee shop and wrote out a huge ‘to do’ list. Everything from the basics like updating my résumé, getting in touch with my recruitment contacts, spreading the word to friends in the industry… to finally pulling a finger out and creating a professional résumé website (a good thing to have in my industry) and doing a letter drop in the local area, offering all kinds of computer help, setting up websites/blogs, a little design work, and help with writing resumes and website content.

And… I might just need to consider getting a flatmate. Will see how things pan out.

Next thing I did was go take my bike to the bike shop for a service and to get the seat put back on!

Then, back to the office for the last time. Cleaned my work computer of all personal files, handed in my phone and keys and left. Texted a bunch of friends, spoke to a couple of them as well… one of whom insisted that I go out and not mope around at home that night (saved that for last night instead!).

Went to a very well known live music establishment – The Espy in St Kilda – had a few drinks, listened to some pub bands (music got better as the night rolled on, or was that the beer and shots I drank?). Sat in a comfy corner for a while, people watching, (trying not to make eye contact more than once with sleazy men) and did a bunch of writing.

So… as a result there’s heaps of raw material to draw on for my blog. Actually yesterday’s post was the first carved from pages of long-hand notes scribbled in my strange loopy and angular handwriting.

Saturday, had an orientation session at my new yoga school (I’m confident I’ll have the money to keep paying monthly instalments for my course) – which was a very positive thing to do… some asana, talking about the course, meeting teachers and fellow students, looking at the text books we’ll be using (some of which I already own – like Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha) and discovering that part of the tuition fee includes all the books, plus a yoga mat and props, a neti pot and tongue scraper – can never have too much yoga gear so that was exciting. And everyone is lovely, so I’m thrilled.

When that was done, instead of jumping straight on the train home, I wandered up the street, up up up up… in and out of a few shops and simply enjoying the  embrace of sunshine and warmth. Walked all the way to the next train station, right down by the bay actually.

Today, I’m starting to feel the other side of things, a little less positive, a little more like – wow, I lost my job! A little angry. But I still know it’s gonna work out just fine.

And I’m picking up a hire car so I can drive to the hospital tomorrow for the birth of my sister’s new baby – my second niece! My friend L and I are having a late lunch, too.

Then, seriously, I’ve got heaps to do. Writing posts, updating and sending résumés, getting my professional website up and running and creating flyers to offer my professional services.

I’m kinda pleased though, how well I’m doing with this sudden change. I actually feel liberated instead of overly stressed out. Free, not victimised. Excited about new possibilities.

And, as I said in my last post, there’s no such thing as an ending, really… just other directions to travel, other paths to explore…

~Svasti

Stagnation aint pretty

Tags

Acupuncture, Jobless, Spleen, Stagnation, TCM, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Virus

Earlier this week I got jacked off that I’ve been sick since I came home from Thailand. Actually I was sick in Thailand too, on and off and just a little bit. I think coming from that very warm and relaxed environment to the cold and chilly environs of Melbourne made things 100x times worse.

Today I took myself to see my acupuncturist. I haven’t been to see him before now, because at first I thought this was just an ordinary cold. Also money is tight, and I don’t have a car now so getting around isn’t as easy. But once I got my second and more disgusting ear infection, and I realised I was STILL sick, I’d had enough.

So, braving the chilly day here (what is it with Melbourne weather anyway, bloody sunshiny and gorgeous one day and fucking freezing the next!!??!!) I took a bus, then a train. Then realised I got off the train a stop too soon and walked the rest of the way. And finally arrived at my acupuncturist’s offices.

He’s a funny guy my acupuncture dude. He couldn’t look less like a practitioner of Chinese Medicine if he tried, but he’s incredibly good. Think Greek and very woggy looking and sounding and you have it. Thick gold jewellery, hair with a minor oil slick. That’s my man.

But he’s very knowledgeable and talented. Most TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) doctors will take your pulse, look at your tongue and your eyes. But my dude, he also reads palms. And in ways not discernable to my eyes, he uses my palms to tell me things about myself. Accurate things. So I like my Greek TCM guy.

Today he says oh you’ve got a lot of cold in your body created by wind. But its also creating some heat in your spleen. Not good. We’ve gotta draw that out. Well otherwise you’re looking good. I can see you’ve lost weight. Your emotions are doing much better too. Don’t worry, we’ll sort this out. Those doctors don’t know what they’re on about, pumping you full of antibiotics and hoping for the best. You’ve gotta get to the cause of the problem. There’s damp in your guts and a virus has taken up residence. We have to kick him out. Its causing stagnation and that’s why you’re not getting any better. Don’t worry, we’ll get him.

He uses the cups first, these funny little bubble shaped glass contraptions which are heated and placed strategically all over my back. Then I flip over and he attacks my abdomen with the cups, sticks a needle in my left leg near my knee, in my right leg near my ankle, in my right hand near my thumb and two in my ear.

Apparently the needles are to support the spleen, help clear the way for more nutrients from my food to get into my system and… I’m not sure what the rest were now.

He talks to me about the tattoo I got in Thailand (must post about that here!), and is excited to hear about the process. And Thailand. He must like places like Thailand because his rooms are like a furnace, so warm I have to strip my outer layers off the moment I get in there. And little beads of sweat form on my upper lip.

At least it’s cosy when I take half my clothes off for this treatment.

He prescribes some herbs. You’re all run down he says. We have to get this ear sorted out and then in a few weeks we need to build you up again. Get your immune system functional.

Right on!

As I’m leaving, he’s busy telling me to rug up, approving of my huge scarf but where’s my beanie, I should have a beanie. Chat chat chat like a little old lady.

Heading to the station I think of that word – stagnation – and that’s a pretty good summary of life since I came back here. Thing is, I’m not sure what to do about it.

I didn’t get that job I really wanted. Oh, it was a tough decision, you’re really great, got lots of experience and our shortlist was longer than we expected. We’d like to keep you in the loop as we keep growing… yeah sure, except that you and I both know that aint gonna happen.

So whilst I do have enough money at the moment to keep me going, I’m getting a little worried now. Usually, when I’m following the flow I’m meant to be following, things happen easily. Like when I originally moved from Sydney back to Melbourne and it was jobs galore on offer and I got the one I wanted lickety split.

And when I was deciding to quit that job and pack everything in, it all seemed to be the right thing to do. Jobs in Melbourne for the line of work I’m in seemed to be plentiful. But not now.

Now, I’m stuck living in one of the most out of the way places, with my parents who don’t really want me here messing up their routine lives, with no car, no job and a dwindling bank balance. And ofcourse, I’ve pretty much been sick in one way or another for five weeks now.

I just don’t get it. I mean, I’m learning alot about myself and what I want, what makes me happy. But I’m limited in what I can do because of my current circumstances. I’m working real hard to get a job and good lord – anyone should be delighted to have me. I’m a geek/new media junkie/creative type etc. I’m passionate about my work and damn it, I’m good.

But still, it seems it’s all stagnated. And I don’t know what the key is to unlock this current stasis…

~Svasti