More on transformation + #iquitsugar week 4

Tags

alternatives, doing things differently, Downard Dogs & Warriors, flow, habits, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, no visible means of support, sugar, Support, Surrender, Transformation, wisdom seeds, Zo Newell

I’ve had a few sugar cravings this week, which isn’t surprising according to Sarah’s ebook. I’ve also had my menstrual cycle to deal with, and oh, that pesky lack of employment. So yeah, I’ve had a few.

Mostly I’ve dealt pretty well with them, but I’ve occasionally dipped a teaspoon in a jar of Chocolate Coconut Butter. I’ve had this tiny jar for weeks and weeks and only if I’m desperate do I open it. Because it’s incredibly rich (almost over-powering), that’s really all I need. Not even a full teaspoon of it at a time.

More than anything, I’m noticing that eating something sweet is just another habit. Something I’ve learned to do over many years, and giving up that pattern of behaviour is more difficult than the physical withdrawal.

But I’m learning new behaviours. For example, a trip to the movies doesn’t have to automatically = eating sugary crappy foods. At a pinch, I can go to the supermarket and grab some good quality cheese and nuts from the deli. Or make my own popcorn (seasoned the way I like it) at home.

Then there’s things like this: a different kind of breakfast, adapted from one of Sarah Wilson’s recipes…

My version contains:

• Pumpkin (sprinkled with a little sea salt to help it cook faster)
• Carrots
• Peas
• Pepitas
• Black sesame seeds
• Shredded coconut
• A liberal dose of cinnamon
• Two eggs broken in the pan and stirred in
• All cooked up in coconut oil

This is a wonderfully nourishing meal and an awesome alternative to the usual breakfast fare. I felt like something other than poached eggs this morning and… voila! It’s brilliant. Not to mention sugar and grain/gluten free and super-tasty.

Anyway, this post is sort of about just that: alternatives. Doing and seeing things differently. In a really intangible way that you can’t measure or touch or truly understand with the logical part of the mind. Which makes it hard to write about, but I’ll try.

I still don’t have a job, and I’ve gone through about fifty modes of dealing with this unpleasant fact in the last couple of weeks.

If I pay attention to the stark reality of being jobless only weeks from Christmas and the no-hire zone of New Year/early January, I absolutely freak out. With heart in my throat and chest-tightening anxiety that is not helpful at all. Nor does it do much for my confidence or ability to think outside the box.

The reality about the digital industry in Melbourne is that it’s pretty small and still relatively immature. Surprisingly so given that this is 2011! Sydney has in recent times overtaken Melbourne in terms of numbers of digital jobs. Which just makes me want to move back there!!

Also recruitment agents here are more often than not, sub-par. According to one recruiter I spoke to, there’s a low barrier to entry for becoming a recruiter, many agencies are competing to fill the same jobs and my skills are quite specialised. So if the recruiter has no real experience in digital, it shows. Painfully. But sadly, these unskilled people are all too often the go-between for roles I’m likely to apply for.

But here’s what I’m discovering:

The more I worry about not having a job and when I might get one, and why didn’t I get an interview with that company etc etc etc… I feel like I’m missing out on something important, and it’s that intangible “thing” that I’m trying to convey here.

Today I finally picked up Downard Dogs & Warriors by Zo Newell. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf for months and months. Very soon I’ll have finished reading it however because it hooked me from the first paragraph.

Early on, it contains the phrase: “no visible means of support”, which has a completely different meaning in the context of the story being told than the thoughts it sparked in my mind.

Because one could say that right now I have no visible means of support. Yet this does not mean I am unsupported. Not at all.

There’s the little bit of extra yoga teaching being thrown my way. The Self-Alignment Kit I was gifted with at the right time. The kinesiology appointment I was allowed to have on credit. The possibility of a little freelance work coming my way (setting up a WordPress site). And a good friend (who reads this blog, thank you darling!) who connected me with her friend to see if I could do any copywriting or any other work with her. Another friend who offered me some amazing natural skincare products including moisturisers and cleansers (excellent timing since I was running low).

The words of one of my yoga teachers also resonate right now: the Universe will always provide.

Maybe it won’t be the job that I think I want or need that comes through right now.

The support I really need is emotional and financial. I need money to pay my rent and bills and so I can eat. It just mightn’t come from the places I’m expecting it to. So I need to stop telling the Universe how to support me, and just let it unfold as it will.

Which is challenging when talking about my financial well-being. It’s counter-intuitive to not plot and plan and scheme and have a back up plan and a second back up plan. But it’s much less exhausting to trust in the process of life.

Tuesday night I went to teach my yoga class as I always do: with a mix of a half-formed plan and an open mind about what will happen in the classroom with whoever turns up. I have some amazing repeat students, and a bunch of drop-ins who float in and out. They all have their own physical challenges, and for some reason they love my class.

Last night I heard that one of my regulars has been “raving” to her friends about the school I teach at, and my classes. Which is always completely unexpected because I’m still such a newbie teacher. But then something must be working right, yes?

Quite often, what goes on in the room has little to do with me or my plan. Occasionally I find myself spontaneously offering tiny morsels of the teachings I’ve been blessed with over the years and sometimes, there are receptive ears for these wisdom seeds.

As I walked away from the school at the end of the class, I thought about how magical teaching yoga can be.

I started to wonder what life would be like if I approached it the way I do teaching. With surrender. I don’t feel the need to control every moment of what I teach. I don’t kick myself if the class plan I was thinking of goes out the window. I never worry about the number of people in my class, unless there are too many! I hate for everyone to be too cramped in my wee back room.

Basically, I let go. I allow my training to do what it will, and I use all of my senses to respond to my students. I know the class will work out, no matter what. It even works out when there are so-called “difficult” students in the room. I don’t try to teach everything I know about every given pose or aspect of yoga at any given time.

When I’m teaching and especially at the beginning and end of the class, I open up to the Universe and offer my prayers and thanks for being able to pass these teachings on to others. I connect to my teachers and their teachers and I ask for their guidance. I don’t expect anything in particular to happen as a result. I just let it be.

This creates flow, and when my energy is flowing everything feels lighter. Easier. Happier.

I know I’m asking a lot of myself to take this approach to my current unemployment situation, but maybe it might just be exactly what is needed.

So, let’s see, shall we?

~Svasti

No news and #iquitsugar week 3

Tags

Anxiety, As You Like It, blood sugar levels, Christmas, detox, Easter, Father’s Day, gluten denial, guardian angel-type people, Halloween, Hashimoto’s, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, Mother's Day, Shakespeare, sugar, sugar addiction, swings and roundabouts, Thanksgiving, trick or treating, Valentine's Day, worry

An empty street stage in a Melbourne laneway, waits for its actors

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts…

~ Shakespeare, As You Like It

Joblessness

In case you were wondering, the saying “no news is good news” is a crock o’… you-know-what.

Waiting, waiting and waiting to hear back about various leads from recruitment agencies. Sometimes the company withdraws an advertised job for financial reasons, or suddenly they’ve hired someone by other channels. Yet all the recruiters tell me what an amazing skill set I have! Often I’m just not getting a look in. Even with short term jobs that don’t pay as much as I normally get paid, but that I’d be willing to do just to have some cash flow happening.

I like to imagine that the Universe has a hand in this. As in, I won’t be placed in a job if it isn’t good for my health or stress levels etc. Ironically, having no job at all is NOT good for those things either.

It’s a case of swings and roundabouts, as the saying goes.

Then again, being in the thick of an undesirable situation is never as bad as worrying about what might happen if such a thing comes to pass. In the last weeks of my contract role, my belly was very unhappy with all of the anxiety and so (excuse the TMI) I had the runs.

Now I’m all unemployed with no new job lined up, the runs (sorry!) have cleared up. I’m getting a lot more sleep, and taking time to do the things I need to do. So that’s actually nourishing for my health. As long as I keep faith that the Universe will provide, then my stress levels are under control, too.

Plus, I find myself surrounded by lovely guardian angel-type people. Folks I wouldn’t have met had it not been for this blog, yet they are kinder and more giving than my own family.

Two such angels are Nadine and Kerry, whom I’ve talked a lot about recently. Let’s just say they are beautiful people as well as being excellent at what they do. I’m so grateful to have them in my life! Thank you! xxx

Quittin’ sugar, week 3

Last week I was dealing with a box of chocolates that I really didn’t want in my life. Bloody hell. I had some of them.

But the funny thing is that I didn’t want to consume them all like I would have before starting my sugar detox.

In fact I’ve noticed that the less sugar I have, the less I want it all. Very. Interesting.

Today at the supermarket I again noticed an absolute homage to sugar at checkouts, hoping to catch people at a weak moment.

I also really saw for the first time just how much sugar is tied to holiday occasions: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays.

You folks in the US also have Thanksgiving and Halloween. I understand there’s even a Thanksgiving dish that involves marshmallows! Let’s not even talk about the diabetes in waiting sugar situation known as trick or treating.

Anyway, like I said before: the less I have, the less I want. Conversely the more sugar I have, the more often I want it. Which is a telltale sign of addiction.

Big business bets on this addiction by including sugar in most of our processed foods. So then those extra treats at the checkout are harder to resist because there’s already plenty of sugar in our body, crying out for the next fix!

I recall certain periods in my life where I HAD to have chocolate every single day. But no longer, because this autoimmune condition of mine does much better when my blood sugar levels are balanced. Too much sugar and my body freaks out!

Honestly, I consider that a blessing.

So this week as part of the detox, I’ve been upping the ratio of good fats in my diet. Things like avocados (which are crazy cheap right now), pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, certain cheeses etc. Unsaturated fats in small doses that quickly sate my appetite and provide much needed nutrients.

In addition, I’m eating more vegetables and organic/free range meat. Plenty of water, coconut water, green tea, tulsi tea and chai.

Basically, it’s all going well and I don’t seem to be missing sugar at all. For now. Apparently it gets harder in a few more weeks…

Also: gluten denial!

Oooh boy. I confess I’ve been majorly in denial about gluten.

Only certain types of food containing gluten cause me real physical grief, specifically things like bread and pizza. In small doses I can handle dumplings (my weakness)…

But gluten is gluten.

Part of me really hates the idea of being all “special needs” with my food and this fuels my occasional rebellion.

However all the reading I’ve done on Hashimoto’s strongly recommends going gluten-free.

So I’ve had a very stern talk with myself: *clears throat* Even if we’re not having an obvious physical reaction to gluten (hello, dumplings that aren’t gluten-free!), that doesn’t mean its okay to eat it. And no, we can’t occasionally have pizza with gluten just because it’s more convenient. That’s dumb-ass, young lady, and we know it’ll hurt! So. Just. Stop.

Sheesh. Sometimes I’m very stubborn about the wrong things.

That’s all for now, y’all.

Oh! I do have a couple of things going on. I’m writing a couple of guest posts, and also maybe doing a bit of freelance work. More updates soon…

~Svasti

P.S. Please do send the Faeries In Charge of Jobs and Abundance over to my house for a spell, okay?