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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: monkey mind

Notes from the other side of the mat

01 Tuesday Feb 2011

Posted by Svasti in Yoga

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

dance of life, giggles, give and take, gratitude, Healing, learning, monkey mind, savasana, students, Yoga, yoga teaching

I stare at the photos on the wall – someone else’s gurus. But they’re very kindly looking and steady. Calming. So I share a few silent words of prayer with them: Please just let me just get out of the way.

You’re all lying in savasana – almost equal numbers of men and women. Peacefully lying there. I direct your attention to your breath and the rise and fall of your chest. Or, the movement of the air at your nostrils. I watch you all lying there, trusting the words I’m saying and I think, wow, how DID I manage to get into such a cool line of work?

I feel very humble and thankful and from this mindset, I begin the class.

It’s a gentle class, for beginners. That doesn’t mean it’s without challenge, though!

There are giggles – which is always a good thing – yoga should never be so serious that you can’t find a smile or a smirk. We get through the simpler movements and then things slow down because each movement of the next sequence needs to be broken down. Just like that feeling of trying to learn new choreography in a dance class, things are a little awkward for a while. But that’s okay…

So many beginners in the room all at once, which means I have to explain where you need to place your forward foot for a (back knee on the ground) lunge because otherwise I’m seeing all kinds of “interesting” shapes. Keep your elbows to your sides for cobra and use your spine to come up, not your arms so much! But we get there.

I work in my two of my current favourite nuggets of yoga knowledge:

  1. The focus on the breath is to train the mind so that when you’re in a more challenging posture, eventually you’ll remember to go back to your breathing without being reminded. And just when you think a pose is too hard or you can’t hold it, if you use your breath as a vehicle you might surprise yourself.
  2. When I ask you to scan your body for sensation, it doesn’t matter what you notice. Don’t get stuck on, or overly fascinated by any of those sensations. We’re developing a practice of self-awareness to sense and notice what’s going on both inside and outside of the body. It is the noticing that’s important: not what you’re noticing.

And suddenly we’re at the other end of the hour. No real meditation, because there’s a whole meditation class right afterwards and you’re welcome to join in that. But we do a little more focused breathing in savasana, and I give you a few more clues on how to get along with your monkey mind.

It’s over, and I realise with gratitude that it happened again: much of what I said felt more like something I channeled rather than a consciously worded class. Indeed, I ‘got out of the way’, so to speak.

Teaching yoga is not about my ego, or how wonderful a yogi I am. It’s this crazy and sublime sense of service, a true privilege. There’s an implied trust radiating off of you, and I feel extremely protective of those in my care. In my class. Learning from me!

Cycling home I feel very light of spirit, and I can’t stop smiling (which is kinda tricky coz I don’t really want to swallow any bugs). There’s a feeling of “rightness” that goes with this work, and whenever I teach a class I am learning to put aside all of those “who, me?” stories. Because each class shows me that I have knowledge to share; it doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to everyone but here I am in a position to pass it on to you.

So as I teach you, you are undoubtedly teaching me as well. I learn more about myself, and how I can interact with you. I learn more about yoga. I learn that in fact, I’m better off not hiding away from the world. That I should be out there, being a part of the dance of give and take. That it’s worth it. That it brings light into my life.

Thank you. Thanks for being my student and allowing me to learn these things. It’s such a damn honour, truly it is.

~Svasti xxx

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Love, love, love

14 Sunday Feb 2010

Posted by Svasti in Life, Yoga

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Love, Mark Whitwell, monkey mind, rainbow heart, Vajra pride, Valentine's Day, Yoga

A rainbow heart valentine - given out by Nadine at our workshop

On this day of over-hyped super-commercial celebration of romantic love, I’m taking a short break from my current series of posts. Because I need it – I’ve been struggling a little with pulling it all together. And because it’s good to reflect on how far I’ve come since that time in my life, not to mention how far I’ve come in recent years. It’s a lot of work, a great deal of healing but it’s not more than anyone else has to do for themselves.

I honour every person out there in the world coming to terms with their wild and wacky monkey mind, the mind that wounds our Selves as well as others. The mind that makes us believe we are not enough, we are not okay and we are not who or what we should be. I also honour those that haven’t had that battle yet because at some point in our lives, it seems to me that we all come face to face with our inner demons.

It’s hard work facing up to ourselves, being honest about where we’re at and finding the courage to implement changes that release us from negative self-patterns.

So, I honour everyone who lives and breathes and I sincerely hope that one day we all find for ourselves what my guru calls “Vajra” pride or the “essential dignity of being alive”.

Recently Brooks wrote a post about the ways that blogging has enhanced her life and I completely agree with her sentiment!

Case in point: I’ve spent the last two days in the company of some truly fantastic people at a workshop led by the marvellous Mark Whitwell.

This came about because I created this blog and as a result, I’ve made connections with other bloggers. Both Linda and Anthroyogini have mentioned Mark’s book and teachings, as well as Nadine’s blog. This caused me to add Nadine to my RSS, and I’ve been enjoying her posts very much. Of course, she then wrote about her plans to bring Mark to Melbourne for a weekend workshop!

With everything I’d heard from Linda, Anthroyogini and Nadine, my curiosity was peaked. And call it synchronicity, grace or a happy accident but I found myself signing up.

And all I can say is thank god (or whatever force of the universe you can relate to). Mark’s teachings are full of LOVE in a very powerful way. I promise I’ll write more about my experience in a separate post but for now I’d like to share the following with you:

Yoga = (intimacy & interconnectedness of breath + body + mind) = Love

That’s a very neat summary of my realisations for the weekend, and there were LOTS!

In many ways, doing yoga all weekend was the perfect activity for our so-called day of celebration of love. Except it wasn’t commercial, objectified or specifically aimed at one person. It didn’t exclude those who are single (like me), meaning the absence of love and affection – quite the opposite in fact. And we all received a Valentine (see photos), courtesy of Nadine’s inspiration (thank you!).

At the conclusion of 2x six hour days of yoga I feel my heart has cracked wide open (love that feeling), brimming over with love for ALL beings. I also feel much gratitude for Nadine in organising for Mark to be here, and for Mark in sharing his humble, wise and compassionate teachings.

Also, I now feel like I finally know how I’m going to begin to teach yoga – because up until now, I was really feeling a little lost there…

On the reverse of our Rainbow Hearts

Om Shanti, beloved beings!

And happy Valentine’s Day.

~Svasti xoxo

-37.814251 144.963169
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