Wiser words than mine

Tags

Gaps, Guru, Keith Dowman, Moving house, Spiritual work, Teachings, Wisdom, Yeshe Tsogyel

I’m having a few issues right now of the spiritual/non-corporeal kind. Sort of.

On top of a new job, moving home, and generally dealing with lots of stuff, things they are a-changing in ways I can’t put my finger on (see Carbon based lifeform 2.0).

I’m finding when I do have two seconds to rub together, and slow down, life starts to get weird. Well, perhaps not that weird for a practicing yogi. But still, it is weird mostly because I’m not doing a lot of intense sadhana right now. But things are changing anyway and I’m falling into the gaps somewhat…

My Guru lives in Thailand, and right now I only see him once a year (if I’m lucky). To supplement, many students rely on recorded teachings – mostly stuff we were present for (good to get a repeat dose), but also other teachings that were held in San Francisco when we weren’t. He gets back there once or twice a year. Which kind of makes me wonder why the heck I’m not listening to the pleas of my yogi brothers and sisters and moving over there already?!

I digress. So I’ve been listening to recorded teachings, as I do regularly. But I’m especially dependent on them now as it’s kinda tricky to identify where I’m at on the path by myself.  Not that there’s a path. And not that there’s any ‘progression’. Of course.

Because I’ve been putting in all this iPod listening time, I’ve re-discovered some absolute gems in terms of insights and discussions on the human condition. There are plenty of gems, but these ones are striking a chord for me right now. They’re relatively general, yet practical for yogis and non-yogis alike.

And I’ve been transcribing some of it!

So, in addition to my other ramblings here, I’m gonna run a series of posts sharing some of the wisdom I’m lucky enough to have access to.

Not sure if I’ll get time this weekend (what with the move and all), but some time in the next couple of weeks, they should start to appear.

I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I do.

Namaste!

~Svasti

P.S. The image above is from a book called “Sky Dancer: The Secret Life & Songs of the Lady Yeshe Tsogyel” by Keith Dowman. Its an incredibly beautiful book that I highly recommend.

Rising from the ashes

Tags

Auroch, Dross, Fears, Fylgia, Moving house, Norse mythology, Odin, Ragnarok, Refinement, Rune poems, Runes, Trust, Ur, Vidar

Dross comes from bad iron;
The reindeer often races over the frozen snow.
~ Rune poem from the Younger Futhark.

This above poem belongs to the rune Ur, which is associated with the god Vidar – son of Odin – and supposedly the only survivor of Ragnarok (end of the world) in Norse mythology.

Vidar is one of the strongest warriors in the Norse pantheon.

His fylgia/totem animal is the auroch, an extremely large type of cattle. They roamed the plains of Europe before they were hunted to extinction in the 1600’s.

This is one of many versions of such poems, and they’re something I’ve studied for many years now.

So I’ll lend you my interpretation: Dross comes from bad iron – refers to sword making, and how, in the process of refining and strengthening the sword, the metal is purified and what remains must be cast off in order to forge the strongest of weapons. And: The reindeer often races over the frozen snow – travelling over snow is easier once it’s hardened. You can move faster, more efficiently.

Ah… enough with the metaphors!

Things have turned another corner again, and I’m feeling goood!!

The great news is – I’ve finally found a new home for  myself. I move this coming weekend from my temporary digs in deepest darkest Suburbia-Urbia, to a central, close-to-work-suits-my-needs-flat. I’ll be a 35 minute walk from work, or a much shorter push-bike, bus or tram ride. I’ll be living close to the city and my Melbourne friends again too.

I’m gonna retrieve my worldly possessions from storage, and start the process of setting up what will be (I think) my nineteenth place of residence. Let’s  hope I get to live in this one for a while, although with my track record I won’t hold my breath…

This marks a turning of the wheel for me. When I packed up my life back in June, I was also closing the door on the last few years. Symbolically and literally. But it hasn’t been easy. And sure, I know its not the end of the road just yet. But it is the beginning of the end of the reign of terror that Andre brought into my life, which I allowed to remain and flourish.

My new home is, interestingly enough, in the same neighbourhood I lived in when I was assaulted. Just a few blocks away. And I’m okay with that. Really.

My story however, is far from over.

I’m still not done posting about earlier parts of this story, and I haven’t quite gotten around to talking about my experiences on retreat in Thailand that allowed me to release so much of the pain I’d been holding onto. But without a doubt, I will…

My fears and issues still exist – especially around letting anyone get close to me – I’m working on ’em! There’s still alot to do, and many things that need changing.

I’m reconstructing my life again, but not necessarily in its former shape. And I have all the tools I need, for now anyway. I have an income, I will soon have a new home. I have some great friends in Melbourne, Sydney and around the globe. And even some I’ve come to know and begin trust via my blog – you folks know who you are. Muchas gracias!

Something important I’ll be doing in the short term is taking on a flatmate. I’m renting a two bedroom place just big enough to share. I could afford to live there by myself, but the extra cash will pay off some of my debts faster. However this is more crucial for another reason.

Whilst in Thailand, I spent some time getting to know one of my yogi brothers better and we talked a great deal about community and the social benefits of having a flatmate. Which got me thinking. Its very easy for me to live as a hermit. I kinda enjoy my time alone just a bit too much.

But I don’t think that’s helped my healing process at all. When you live alone and choose who you let in the door, its very easy to keep everyone out.

In doing just that, I’ve built up walls of concrete, marble and steel around my heart. I needed protection at the time, but now no one can get in. Even today, its not easy. I simply don’t trust most people. Sure, I look and act friendly enough, but just try scratching the surface a little…

Regardless, I need to try because I no longer want that experience. So I need to break down my current patterns. Starting with learning to share a home.

For I don’t just want to break down those protective layers, I want to open my heart wider than it ever was. To grow beyond anything I ever thought possible.

So this is not back to the status quo. Its the beginning of a new direction.

~Svasti

Trippin’ the light quirk-tastic

Tags

Anthropology, Audition, Childrens' theatre, Drag queen, Drugs, Gypsy curse, Imaginary friend, John Bertrand, Meme, Monologue, Moving house, Pantomime, Quirky, Weird

A little while back Christa over at Giggle On! tagged me with a meme.

I’ve always been, hmmm, a little unsure about memes coz they seem to be as random as those emails you get occasionally: “All about me!”. Where you’re meant to fill out this sort of questionnaire and send it on to your friends.

I guess the idea is you’re perhaps sharing different things with the people in your life, unless, you know – you actually talk to them and they know you fairly well.

That, or its just something to do when you’re bored at work for ten minutes and you just wanna to prattle on about the insipid details of your life…

But none of my other blog posts are cooperating at the moment, so I decided I might as well write something. So here I am. Hi meme. Hi Svasti, wanna play? Okay…

The meme says to list 7 weird or quirky things about yourself.

As per my initial comment to Christa, if you’ve read my blog you can probably count at least a dozen quirks of mine already. But here’s a few more for your entertainment:

1. Two for one: I could float/swim before I could walk and I could read my older brother’s books (two years ahead) before I went to primary school.
2. When I was a small child, one of my imaginary friends was called ‘fucking bastard‘ – inspiration courtesy of the foul mouthed over-the-fence neighbours. My mother wasn’t impressed.
3. I’ve lived in at least eighteen houses in my life. Since I was 21, I’ve never lived in the same house for more than 3 years. I hate moving but unfortunately its my gypsy curse.
4. I did the whole drug taking thing in my late teens/early twenties (everything but heroin) – but kind of thought of myself as an anthropologist. I studied myself and my friends and questioned why we were doing all that sh*t.
5. From the ages of 18-20, I worked as an actor in a childrens’ pantomime theatre – instead of payment for performances, we got free acting, voice and other related training. It was cool. And I was broke but happy.
6. I once took a tip for audition monologue ideas from a drag queen around 3am in the morning.
7. As an under-10 learn-to-sail child, I ranted crossly at the father of two boys who’d put a crack in my boat when I had right of way. I think you should teach your sons to sail properly, I told John Bertrand.

So there!  🙂

I’m not gonna tag anyone – but if you wanna play go ahead! Write your own post and let me know in the comments. Or… just throw a quirk or two out there in the comments section if ya can be bothered…

I’m off to get ready for my big night out – seeing my celebrity crush. Jeff Martin (former leader of the Tea Party). He’s the only musician I get a serious case of ‘fan girl’ about. He’s hot and talented… sigh… drool…

‘Kthxbai!

~Svasti