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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: New Years Eve

Happy New Year & final #reverb10

01 Saturday Jan 2011

Posted by Svasti in Writing prompts

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

#reverb10, Air Bourne, beer, champagne, cobwebs, core story, Growth, Healing, honesty, learning, Love, New Years Eve, Service, Truth, Yoga, You Am I

A little of last night's liquid joy 😉

Happy New Year, everyone!

Isn’t it wonderful to be here on the first day of a brand new year?

I hope you enjoyed your new year’s celebrations, whatever form they took.

For the first time in too many years and perhaps not entirely wisely, I decided that I’d go out for the evening and get down with my funky (??!) self. Haha. So I ended up at a live music gig at a Melbourne landmark, the Espy Hotel. The line up featured You Am I and Air Bourne, lots of awesomeness there!

Much fun was had, ridiculous amounts of beer were consumed (after the champagne I drank at home – I can’t tell you how rare such a boozy night is for me!) and many insane tweets were sent (if you missed out on those, consider yourself lucky!).

So here we are, the final #reverb10 post, and the first day of a brand new year. It’s been really interesting writing about personal topics based on other people’s questions, and fascinating to realise as a result just how central and deeply ingrained yoga really is to my life.

It’s also been a wonderful discipline to write almost every day and though I doubt I’ll keep that up for daily blog posts in future, I think I’ll aim to do some personal writing each day now. Coz it really helps keep the cobwebs from forming.

Core Story. What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world?
(Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)
~ December 31 prompt

My core story is a delicious cocktail (vodka martini, anyone?) of these things:

  • Being of service – using whatever skills I possess to help those in need.
  • Healing – myself and by extension, the way I interact with others
  • Growth – change is always possible if we really want it enough.
  • Learning, always learning – may I never stop!
  • The giving and accepting of love – this heart of mine contains endless amounts of the stuff…
  • Yoga – my saving grace, my teacher and my bestest buddy.
  • Honesty – I’ll answer stuff honestly even if it’s not always to my advantage.
  • Truth – the seeking of it, speaking and living it.

Reading back through my #reverb10 posts, these ARE the common threads. It’s all pretty much where I’m coming from as well as where I’m headed.

May your New Year be bright and full of love!

~Svasti xo

-37.814251 144.963169

Back in the land of sun

05 Tuesday Jan 2010

Posted by Svasti in Fun, Life

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

Birthday Spectacular, Catatonic Kid, champagne, childhood delights, clammy skin, clumsiness, delirium, fever, IMAX, magic, New Years Eve, newly embodied friendships, Nurofen, poached eggs, ringtail possums, Seafood, Shiv, sunsets, swearing in Italian, Sydney, under the sea, wishy washy

So, I totally lied in my last post. And I’m confessing this while under the influence of a low-grade fever and several Nurofen tablets.

…How nice it’ll be to have a little holiday (just a week) in the gorgeously warm Sydney (as opposed to unpredictable Melbourne)…

At least, the weather made a complete mockery of the above. Bah!!

Sydney, it seems, is no longer reliable mid-Summer for perfect and continuous sunny weather. The day I left Melbourne was a perfect summery day and yet I arrived in Sydney to find rainrainrainrain! It’d been raining for days before I arrived, so no one can blame the weather on the Melbournite, okay?

In fact, Sydney probably had only two days (maximum) where the weather could’ve been described as Sydney-like (based on previous experience). Melbourne on the other hand, had decidedly nicer weather all week (*shakes head sadly*). Also, Melbourne had lightning to go with their (decidedly less special) fireworks.

Never mind! Sydney was fabulous for other reasons. Like… all the friends I got to see!

Stop one of four

Stayed with a fellow yogini (and very good friend) in Bondi. Yeah, she lives a short walk from that very famous beach. Not that I got to see it in all it’s glory this time. But we hung out, worked out, made food (she’s an awesome cook), did some yoga, puja and generally had some girl time. I seriously miss that girl now we live in different parts of the country!

Two of four

Hopped over to the other side of town to visit one of my favourite married couples, CB & B, just in time for CB’s birthday. Amongst other things, CB is a volunteer Wildlife Rescue Officer, currently caring for four adolescent ringtail possums. They’re the cutest critters! Also, there are two fully grown ringtails living in her front yard – CB hand-reared them herself and they’re so tame, I was able to help feed them (chopped up carrots and vegies) and pet them just behind their little furry ears, allowing them to wrap their deceptively strong tails around my pinky finger. Adorable!

And yes, that’s them below…

Three of four

Blog buddy adventures for New Year’s Eve! Yep, it was time to meet up with Catatonic Kid and Shiv. Just before my arrival and while the cab driver bumbled around and refused to look in the street directory (even though I asked him to do just that), I had a flash of panic. Turning up to the house of a complete stranger (in the flesh anyway) and staying two nights there? Ummmm…. *smallish freakout*!!

But of course, it was more than fine. It was fabulous! With some initial mutual nervousness out of the way, we swapped presents (thanks guys!!) and chatted while preparing for our evening picnic – watching the world-famous Sydney fireworks display (see photo at the top of the post). Although the weather looked dodgy, we had no other plans and lucky us – the rain miraculously held off.

A fun night was had by all, despite my nearly taking out an entire hillside of people via clumsily stepping on some plastic sheeting while trying to navigate the breadth of said hillside (it was kinda steep). A dude swore at me in Italian but Shiv vigorously defended my clumsiness (thanks again, hehe!). And despite Sydney police almost begging for the opportunity to arrest us while we were trying to leave peaceably somewhere around 1am – seriously! There were about five of them all lined up, making smartass comments at us. Perhaps to see if we’d fire up? Musta been a slow night! Anyway, all three of us managed to leave without the need for bail, and not suffering too badly from being in the midst of 20,000 people.

Next day was Shiv’s birthday… but really, I should let him talk about that one. Perhaps he’ll grace us with a post on the topic (*here’s the post!!*)? Suffice to say, CK and I pulled off a total Birthday Spectacular. We pretty much rocked the entire day! But let me use the following descriptive keywords: poached eggs, magic, 3D, childhood delights, under the sea, sunsets, seafood and champagne. I will mention one of the surprises – it was seeing Avatar at IMAX, which completely entranced all three of us. So incredibly magical!

It was brilliant to spend some time in the flesh with two online friends. We even spoke to a third on the phone for New Year’s (a rather late night for her!). All up, it was piles of fun meeting the people behind the blogs and it’s only the beginning for our newly embodied (as opposed to virtual) friendships…

Cheers you two, and thanks heaps for the excellent adventures. 😉

Four of four

Finally, back over the bridge to the north-side (no, due to people’s birthdays I was not able to coordinate my movements as well as I’d have liked…) to see another friend (JM), her hubby and her 13 month old baby boy. Have to say; by this point in my travels, I was pretty exhausted. So JM and I indulged in some girly chats lying on her bed, played with their very cute red haired/blue eyed bubba and just did some chillin’. Which worked for her, on account of the cold she and the little guy were getting over.

Unfortunately I managed to collect said cold… let’s call it a Sydney souvenir. Hence the fever I’m waiting out rather impatiently (*wipes sweat beads from upper lip*).

Regardless, I had a blast seeing everybody. Oh and while I was away, I managed to scribble down a bunch of plans for this year! I don’t call them resolutions, coz I reckon plans are things you can make happen. Whereas resolutions always seem kinda wishy washy to me.

Stay tuned, I’ve much more to share this week. And while I try to ignore my delirium and clammy skin, I think I can manage to get a few runs on the board. Or at least, draft posts in half-decent shape.

I hope y’all had an enjoyable Christmas/New Year, and that you’re settling into 2010 just fine.

~Svasti xo

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Spellbound turn-o-the-year musings

31 Wednesday Dec 2008

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Spirituality

≈ 24 Comments

Tags

Asana, Divinity, Enlightenment, God, Guruji, Happy New Year, Love, Mantra, Musings, New Years Eve, Non-dual, Sanskrit, Yoga

Written after a good hour of book browsing and buying…
(thanks to my employers for the Borders gift voucher!)

It’s easy to love with abandon a child, our favourite sport, poetry, chocolate, alcohol, movies, nature, our lover…

But not our Self.

We are cynical about such things. We have trouble thinking we’re more than what we see in the mirror. Often, we think we’re even less than that.

Human beings are truly magnificent – if we can get over our own suffering, selfishness, self-importance and smallness. Greatness is inherent. Waiting for us.

Yet, often we don’t want to expand the boundaries of possibility too far – in case we can’t recover ‘when bad things happen‘. We don’t want to open our hearts too much to another for the same reason.

We have trouble with the concept of God, especially those who are not traditionally religious, like me (a pagan/yogi). Whether it’s the connection to our own divinity, the use of the ‘G’ word, wavering between direct knowledge, belief and doubt… what we can’t see, we question.

There’s a profound issue with our ability to see our Self as God, all beings as God… and to give ourselves over to that larger possibility of human life.

But to me, love of God/Self is actually, the same thing. And, also the same as loving anything else in our lives – our favourite TV show, popcorn, porn… whatever… it’s the same. Just… those things are a smaller version of that larger concept of love.

The obsession/small love for ‘objects’ can arise from the sub-conscious desire for union of self with Self. Unlimited, a sense of connection that when we get it – be that through orgasm, a sunset, realising one of our dreams, meditation – feels so incredibly wonderful. We project this experience on whatever object is around. We want that feeling to last forever. And when it doesn’t, we’re disgruntled.

Home base for human beings is that state of union as a permanent experience.

Trini Girl Blue wrote today that she feels people would shun her if they knew her inner secrets.

Perhaps. More fool them.

Perhaps not. Not everyone thinks that way, thankfully.

This is just fear and the sense of isolation talking. I’ve been in that space too – and continue to experience it off and on. But this state lacks any of the love we easily extend to another person/object.

Some of my most wonderful moments of opening have occured when I’ve told a friend something I was sure they’d think less of me for… only to receive love and support and a different viewpoint on what I thought were my ‘evils’.

Are we afraid of our own divinity so much, that we push aside any possibility of seeing ourselves that way? This is self-cruelty. Are we so afraid of our ability and capacity to be whole and real? To be connected to others – everyone and everything else?

Tonight I sit here alone, deciding if I should venture out and listen to some music – or stay in and meditate (what do I need most of all??)…

Right now my only company is the cat.

Or is it?

This room, if I choose to feel it, is alive with love. There’s… an inter-connectedness of all things…

When I perform yogasana, I clear my channels…

Yogasana in Thailand with my kula

There’s not really a set of channels for each person you know.
Actually there’s only one set of channels for the whole lot of us!
~Guruji

And so I awaken myself through asana to the mass of swarming energy that is life.

I sit for contemplation or meditation, and I lose my sense of I-ness. As a separate being, alone, without other.

When I chant Sanskrit prayers and mantra, it’s the vibrations that tune my heart – allowing me to open wide and have that feeling for myself. To know that it’s true…

The paradox of me – my yogini Self and my suffering Self… I’ve learned and experienced a lot of very profound things in the last eight or so years since I met my Guru.

Whilst the wisdom is with me daily, those experiences of everything being one – they haven’t cemented yet. If they had, I’d be enlightened! 😉

So for now, I honour the duality whilst respecting the non-dual knowledge and experiences I’ve learned and earned.

And here I am, in all my imperfect glory… dealing imperfectly with what I have to deal with… knowing full well its not the entire picture.

I am human, I am flawed
I am human, I can grow
I am human, and love
Is my weakness
And my greatest victory!

~Svasti

Wishing everyone a good dose of peace and harmony on this eve of new tidings. May 2009 bring you insight, love, healing and happiness. May you achieve your heart’s desire.

~Svasti

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