Anxiety, education, good things, new job, pronto, public service, relief, snail's pace, unemployment
There’s a lot of relief flowing ’round the ever expanding Svasti-world right now. (Read the title of this post for a clue why)…
In June this year, I took a contract job that I wasn’t particularly happy about on account of the fact that it’s a big corporate giant that owns the company I worked for last year, just before I quit and went to Thailand. Not to mention the pay was pretty average, the contract written heavily in favour of the company (they could call an end to the contract any time without notice). But it was that, or continued unemployment.
And considering I was out of a job for roughly four months prior to this job offer, I wasn’t in a position to say no.
So I took it, with reservations… someone I used to work with once made me promise to never work for this company, but such things mean little when you’re wondering how you’ll pay rent next month. I also had the words of a Vedic astrologer ringing in my ears from a reading two years ago… something about a karmic debt still owed to my employer.
Really, it’s been a bit of a mixed blessing.
The good: a regular pay check; nice people; not being homeless; a non-stressful work environment. Well, sorta.
The bad: anxiety (due to nature of contract); the corporate environment I’d tried so hard to escape; the lack of actual work to do.
Y’know, when I’ve needed to hire a contractor myself in the past, it’s usually because there is too much work to do and we need help, pronto.
But not this job. I’ve never actually figured out why they decided they needed to hire me. They just did, and I’ve really only done little pieces of work (they call them projects, but I’d describe them as small tasks) here and there.
Some people might think it’s cool to get paid to sit on your butt all day and do almost no work. For me, it’s kinda okay for a short period of time. But not for months on end.
I don’t know how people work here permanently and do it for a much longer timeframe!
In a way it’s been kind of a blessing, too. I mean a job where I have almost no work to do? Giving me time to read blogs and write and no one gives a damn?
I suppose it’s been nice having time to get my head together as I’ve worked to shrug off depression.
But then there’s my work ethic, sense of pride in my work, and the endless hours of utter boredom to contend with!
Not to mention the anxiety I felt for a couple of months there. I mean… there I was on a contract that could be terminated with no notice. None! And there wasn’t enough work to keep me busy all day, every day. So I was waiting to be told they’d worked out they didn’t need me there any more.
Eventually, one of my work mates told me that pretty much EVERYONE in the team is in the same boat. Either there’s a stream of last minute/short run ‘project’s or there’s nothing to do. And that it was extremely unlikely they’d end my contract early.
Okay… but I was still bored and felt like I was losing my edge, so to speak. I could feel my brains turning to mush and seeping out my ears. Welcome to an ex-public service company, apparently!
Probably, I shouldn’t confess this. But, here goes! Look, things got so bad there for a while, with no motivation to go to work and do nothing all day, that one particular Monday I simply didn’t show up. And I didn’t ring. I was kinda testing to see if anyone noticed. AND THEY DIDN’T!! Seriously.
I was also worried about my résumé. There’s not a heck of a lot I can say about my time here, and very little that I can point to and say: This is what I achieved. Which bothers me, and my work ethic!
Also, I have a wide range of skills that are just sitting idly by in this job. In fact, its a job I can do with my eyes closed (when there’s actual work to do).
Anyways, the contract end-date was early December, and that brought on a whole different kind of anxiety: Potential unemployment through December/January!!
So for months I’ve been slogging away, trying to find another job. I’ve been to a bunch of interviews. There were a couple of near misses. Each passing week meant more anxiety… here comes unemployment again, here it comes, here it… THEN one of my recruitment contacts called me.
That call resulted in a new contract job offer. HOORAY! Which keeps me employed til end-June next year. Maybe longer, potentially.
But the best thing is that it’s a job working in my industry (digital media) on something that’s actually worthwhile for once: Education.
The company I’m going to work for is a government initiative delivering digital/online education resources for primary and high schools throughout Australia and New Zealand.
My role will be as a Digital Project Manager… pretty much what I do anyway, just with a different title. Which is cool. And they are paying me a proper contract rate. And I’ve had three endorsements to date that my new workplace is good.
So I’m excited!!
I start my new job on Monday. Which means I have approximately one day and three hours to go (at the time of writing) here in my current job… where the people are nice, but mostly a little incompetent… where the pace of doing things equals a snail’s.
Also, the other cool thing that happened recently was the re-signing of the lease on my apartment. I fully expected some kind of rent increase, but nope! The last place I leased before going to Thailand was quite maniacal about upping the rent. Not so much with my current place.
I suppose none of this is particularly unusual news. It’s just that I’d kind of gotten out of the habit of expecting good things to happen. Really.
Is it any coincidence that as I’m healing and growing stronger, other aspects of my life are improving, too? I think not!