Feedback, grace and de-snarking

Tags

Anger, Dancing, downward dog, feedback, Fibromyalgia, Grace, grattitude, Hashimoto’s, inflammation, Kinesiology, massage, Road rage, snappy, snarky, snippy, Yoga

Giant demon baby: lurking outside Melbourne's town hall

So I want to tell you about teaching last night, but I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.

I’m not.

I don’t think these things are so much about me, as a reflection of all of the wonderful teachings I’ve been fortunate enough to receive and pass on.

But I want to share what happened because so far in my still very early-days career as a yoga teacher, I’ve noticed that feedback from students – good or bad – doesn’t come around that often.

I mean, I’ve also noticed that as a student I too, do this lack of feedback thing. I go to classes that I love but I rarely share with my teacher how much I enjoy the class. Sure, I say “thank you” and smile and come back again and again. But as for implicit feedback that lets the teacher know what I’m getting out of the class? That’s not something I do very much.

And it’s a weird thing, being a new yoga teacher like me and sharing the teachings and… not really getting any information back from students. I get it, though. I mean, when a yoga class works for you, it creates a fairly internal experience. Really, it can be hard to share when you’re in that sort of space.

Then some days out of the blue and maybe after weeks or months, feedback arrives and it’s pretty WOW.

Like last night.

With downward dog/mountain pose, I like to observe how my beginner students fare before getting into sequences that use it a lot. Because while it looks like a really simple pose, there’s quite a lot going on!

I find there’s always a huge variance in how people interpret my initial instructions. Of course, there’s a bunch of reasons for that – body awareness, stiffness, injury and so on. So I get them to try the pose on for size. Then we talk about it a bit before I get them to try it again. There’s always an improvement the second time around, so I know they hear me once they’ve started to connect with their body a little more.

One girl had what I refer to as an “oh WOW moment”. With big wide eyes, she told me that she’s never felt comfortable doing that pose before and now it’s starting to make sense to her. She was astounded, but actually the astounding thing (as I told her later) is that she’s starting to connect to her own body and to the pose.

This is just the beginning, I said, keep up this sense of feeling and finding what works in your poses!

The other piece of feedback I had was after the class, from a student who’s been coming fairly steadily for about four months now. She’s a lesson in all of the things your students never tell you, even when you ask them to, and how much there is to learn from making time to talk with your students outside of the class.

Because until last night, I didn’t know she had fibromyalgia (no mention of it on her initial registration form!). She told me that doing yoga has transformed her health, which honestly makes my heart do a little dance. Yay, yoga!

BUT she wasn’t happy with the way the last two classes had been somewhat “disrupted” by individuals asking questions that were specific to their own needs. She likes it when the classes flow and we just get into what we’re doing. Which isn’t always possible, as I explained. This is a beginner’s yoga class and sometimes the beginners are total newbies who need specific help.

So we sat down for a little chat. I talked to her about inflammation, knowing from my conversations with Rachel that fibromyalgia/ME has a LOT in common with Hashimoto’s. And we talked about how anger and its cousins: irritation; frustration; annoyance (etc), are basically inflammation – which doesn’t help her health issues. She knew exactly what I was talking about.

I also told her that knowing all of that doesn’t mean that her frustrations don’t matter. They do, but that it’s another aspect of yoga, to work on finding ways to let go of that which irritates us because ultimately, it’s better for our health.

Holding onto anger = holding on to inflammation.

The win in this situation is this: her practice is showing her how easy it is to get irritated, and that’s actually an opportunity to do something about it.

So. What am I saying here?

I guess I’m saying… okay, from time to time, get into a little conversation with your yoga teacher. If they’re caring, they’ll be open to it. Tell them if you’re enjoying their class and/or if there’s something that bothers you. They’ll be very thankful for your words, I promise.

I’m also saying this – even if you don’t have fibromyalgia/ME, Hashimoto’s or any other condition caused by inflammation in the body, letting go of all the things that irritate you means less chance of ever succumbing to chronic inflammation and therefore, dis-ease.

So: work at defusing your road rage, and/or all those little things that niggle you in life. The stuff that makes you snarky, snippy or snappy at yourself/others on your bad days.

Because my lovelies, THAT is all inflammation. And too much inflammation will make you sick.

You can try things like kinesiology, yoga, massage, dancing and other kinaesthetic-based practices that help you connect with what’s really going on with yourself.

It isn’t easy, but it’s possible, says the formerly VERY ANGRY person writing this post.

Coz life is better when we’re not snarky at a moments notice – for us and everyone around us.

~ Svasti

Losing, letting go and surrender

Tags

Anger, Awareness, Emotions, Enlightenment, Lost things, Meditation, Road rage, Sadhakas, Spirituality, Surrender

The yogic spiritual path is really no different in a lot of ways to those on any other path. Stuff still happens, life goes on. Its the orientation to what happens and how you meet those things that is the difference.

People are prone to saying: “Oh, but you meditate. You should be so calm, never angry”. Well get this people – that state of calm that everyone imagines all people who meditate should have… isn’t that simple! That “everything’s zen” persona many people like to portray is usually bogus. Unless its not, in rare cases.

When I first jumped on this path some time ago now, I had this idea that having that floaty, happy calm feeling was the goal. That if I can induce that state (easy when around some of the great masters), then I was on the way. 😉

But guess what? This state, this sattvic (balanced) way of being can only be stablised 24/7 after a great deal of journeying – in some cases a life time. But always at least a good 10-20 years worth of practice for most people.

In the mean time, those moments where we experience that state (or something we imagine is that state) are precious and inspire us onwards. But then life gets in the way and we’re back at square 1!!

Not to mention, that sadhakas (spiritual practitioners) can and do undergo depression, sadness, anger and every other human emotion – in the process of purifying their karmas. However, the practices learned are meant to be applied to these states so that each time you do find yourself at square 1, its really not quite the same place. Instead of simply being reactive, there’s a process in place.

Remember this – its the birthright of every human being to eventually achieve enlightenment, even if its not in this lifetime.

And now to discuss “losing, letting go and surrender”. Yes I seem to lose a lot of stuff. My lunch – going from the bakery to my car. $15 in change whilst at a cafe. A button off a new top, a day after I thought I’d lost a button but really hadn’t. A prize of 4 movie tickets that I was awarded at my last job (whilst still in the building), between where the party was held and walking back to my desk. All crazy stuff right?

Over the years I’ve lost quite a few things I’ve had attachment to – great relationships, friends, pieces I jewelery I adored. And I have driven myself nuts fretting over those losses.

Then there’s my recent loss of pretty much everything that represented the “form” of my life. Those material things we all identify with. Kinda different to losing ‘stuff’ but not completely.

Right now as always, my spiritual path seems to be addressing this. Sometimes we just have to learn to relax and let go – surrender. Actually, its a little bit more like “struggle, struggle… surrender”.

OK, so I lost stuff I thought was important, I cared about or just bought/received. Each time I lose stuff now I’m noting my carelessness and how this could have been different if I’d had more considered awareness. And then I let go.

I still wish I hadn’t lost the stuff. But I’m saving myself from going crazy. And in three cases the ‘lost’ stuff I mentioned did eventually turned up. Like my lunch (down a space in my car), my button (inside the front door of my house – how lucky is that?) and my movie ticket prize (honest co-workers). But instead of spending the day thinking about what I’ve lost and draining my energy that way, I’ve thought about the pattern of what has happened. And that if stuff is meant to turn up, it will.

What can I say? It makes my day less stressful. And it makes me more aware of the little actions I take or don’t take.

Then there’s the common experience of struggling with traffic. We all do it. Get impatient, swear, shout, give dirty looks to someone we think is an idiot and shouldn’t be allowed on the road. Hmmm.

I started to notice the more I struggled with traffic, the more I was annoyed or tried to get around someone, the more strung out I was. Now I’m talking a pattern of days, weeks, months. I noticed that whenever I didn’t hold a vested interest in how fast the traffic was moving, things flowed better. Moment-to-moment stress about traffic is counter-productive and takes you away from what is – here I am in a car in traffic. OK. So its still something I have to work at but such a relief when I do just… relax…

Awareness, after all, is not just about meditation. Its about every darn thing in this world.

~Svasti