Dear Sweet Chocolate

Tags

#IQS, breaking up, chocolate, chocolate addiction, Dear John, I Quit Sugar, parfum de sucre, sugar, sugar addiction, Sweet Tooth, willpower

Dear Sweet Chocolate,

You and me, we’ve had a lot of fun over the years. So. Much. Right?

I know. It all started when I was very young. I’d no wrinkles and barely any sense, busy playing with dolls and trucks and riding my orange tricycle as I was.

When you think about it, it wasn’t either of our faults – I mean; it was almost an arranged marriage. We were introduced, for crying out loud.

Right there in my own home. My dad worked for a company that sold you and your cousins – all the sweet sugary treats imaginable. And he’d bring some of you home, sitting right there on the desk in my parents’ bedroom.

Tempting me with your parfum de sucre. Making eyes at me from beneath your packaging. Giving me blood sugar spikes with each and every bite, making me want more-more-more…

As I grew up a little more, Dad didn’t work for a purveyor of your wares any more, but the whole family was hooked.

Deeply. Wholly. Irrevocably. Yours.

Before I was out of my teenage years, one of my teeth had been exchanged for another kind – a Sweet Tooth. Mmmmm. Right there in my mouth, sprinkling my tongue with a whisper of the so-called goodness of the ingredient at the core of your being: sugar.

Oh yeah. My particular brand of your poison remained the same, however.

Chocolate, it’s always been you.

Sure, Ice-Cream got a look in from time to time. Occasionally I’d flirt with Cake. But Chocolate, you’ve always been my guy. I’d have you in biscuit form, or blocks or any which way I could get you.

You, Chocolate, wormed your way into my tastebuds and heart and you weren’t getting away that easily. Not that you wanted to, I’m pretty sure. I doubt that you ever even tried.

Then I grew up and left home and suddenly, I could do anything I wanted. And besides staying up late, one of the things I wanted was you. All the time. Every day. I was even encouraged by others who were as devoted to you as I was…

At first, I’d tell myself it was ok if I had just a little bit every day. But there were times when I’d scarf down an awful lot more. Pretty soon, I had to avoid keeping you in the house because you wouldn’t last.

Chocolate – it was around about then that I noticed you’d kinda taken over my life.

Or my willpower at any rate. And I think it was around then that I first felt uncomfortable with the level of power you held over me. Not that it stopped me wanting you – but I… I… well, I noticed that we weren’t equals. I was pretty much your slave.

I didn’t like it but it was true. The only difference was that I knew it now.

There were so many times when I tried to leave you.

We even had a few separations, but they never worked out. There were too many cravings. Or withdrawals? At any rate, as much as I tried I just couldn’t quit you.

Because you had a dirty little secret, didn’t you?

It wasn’t enough for the heart of your being – sugar – to be spread far and wide in every sweet treat around. You had to insinuate your way into supposedly non-sweet foods. Even some so-called health foods, too.

Then there’s this – even eating too much of certain things that are supposed to be good for me (like fruit) can mean I’m getting way too much sugar.

So even when I thought I wasn’t eating you, I really was. Like, all the time. Sometimes three times a day. Every single meal that wasn’t called dessert, still had you. I just didn’t know it.

Which meant I was powerless to stop my attraction to you. You were always in my blood, damnit.

But then I got sick. Really sick. And in the process of working out how to get well, I did a lot of reading. A HUGE amount of self-educating and suddenly my eyes were open. The rose coloured glasses off.

I saw you for what you really are.

Fortunately, there were support groups to join. Wise advice to listen to. I began to formulate a plan of how to leave you. For good this time.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but I was now uncomfortably aware that you weren’t any good for me and by not leaving, I was doing myself more harm than good. So I had to go for my own sake.

In some ways it’s true to say that it wasn’t you, it was me.

But truthfully, I think the same can be said for you.

You really aren’t any good for me, or pretty much anyone else. Not in the sorts of doses we’ve adapted to having you in, anyway.

So I did the work. Slowly at first. Bit by bit. But I was dedicated, because I had a motive. I wanted to get well. Also, I think it helped that I’d done all the reading and prepared myself mentally in advance.

I sure didn’t quit you cold turkey, but quit you I did.

And then, amazing things started to happen.

In the five months since we’ve been apart, I’ve lost 10kg and 5cm off my waist (to date). So I look better, but I also feel better, too.

Then there’s this: I’d no idea that all of those cravings were a part of your deal.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’d go back and forth with myself. Do I or don’t I? You’re right there in the supermarket. I want you. But I know I shouldn’t have you YET again…right?

Argh, it was always so hard and inevitably I’d lose the battle. If not that hour or day, then it was the next. I’d slink into a shop and guiltily put you in my shopping cart, pretending that no one noticed how often I’d bought you that week already.

But… time apart has done wonders for me. Those cravings? They’re gone. GONE. That awful slippery-dip of desire vanished right alongside your daily presence. Gone, gone, gone.

Have to say, I didn’t miss you at all. Surprising but true.

Then, around Easter someone gave me a present: a Lindt bunny with its gold wrapping and tiny little bow around it’s neck. Oh, Chocolate! You brazen hussy!

Even my naturopath (who generally isn’t a fan of yours either) had said – well, Easter is different. She gave me permission to indulge in you and so I thought… okay. Just this once. Yeah, perhaps we can at least be friends. Or acquaintances.

I was in for a shock, though. For when I peeled back the wrapping and bit in to what USED to be a mouth-watering treat. I found that… well, now you taste oddly bitter and leave a funny burnt flavour on my tongue.

Sugar. Chocolate. I’ve come to my senses and now I get it. You guys. You’re just TOO MUCH. What’s more, you’re a drug.

You’re the sort of drug that hides your wickedness behind a cloud of saccharine love. You spin a web of beautiful crystalline lies, making promises you can’t ever keep.

More than that: you flat out misdirect everyone who’s attracted to your wiles.

But here’s the truth: spending too much time with you can cause illness. Weight gain. Poor self-esteem (on account of the former and the latter).

And the whole addiction/co-dependency thing you’ve got going on with me and every other sucker out there? Kind of yucky when you take a proper look at it.

So anyway, I just wanted you to know that I know. You don’t have any power over me anymore. My thraldom has passed and I won’t ever let it happen again.

Sorry Chocolate, Sugar. You and me? We’re done. This time its for real.

~Svasti

More on transformation + #iquitsugar week 4

Tags

alternatives, doing things differently, Downard Dogs & Warriors, flow, habits, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, no visible means of support, sugar, Support, Surrender, Transformation, wisdom seeds, Zo Newell

I’ve had a few sugar cravings this week, which isn’t surprising according to Sarah’s ebook. I’ve also had my menstrual cycle to deal with, and oh, that pesky lack of employment. So yeah, I’ve had a few.

Mostly I’ve dealt pretty well with them, but I’ve occasionally dipped a teaspoon in a jar of Chocolate Coconut Butter. I’ve had this tiny jar for weeks and weeks and only if I’m desperate do I open it. Because it’s incredibly rich (almost over-powering), that’s really all I need. Not even a full teaspoon of it at a time.

More than anything, I’m noticing that eating something sweet is just another habit. Something I’ve learned to do over many years, and giving up that pattern of behaviour is more difficult than the physical withdrawal.

But I’m learning new behaviours. For example, a trip to the movies doesn’t have to automatically = eating sugary crappy foods. At a pinch, I can go to the supermarket and grab some good quality cheese and nuts from the deli. Or make my own popcorn (seasoned the way I like it) at home.

Then there’s things like this: a different kind of breakfast, adapted from one of Sarah Wilson’s recipes…

My version contains:

• Pumpkin (sprinkled with a little sea salt to help it cook faster)
• Carrots
• Peas
• Pepitas
• Black sesame seeds
• Shredded coconut
• A liberal dose of cinnamon
• Two eggs broken in the pan and stirred in
• All cooked up in coconut oil

This is a wonderfully nourishing meal and an awesome alternative to the usual breakfast fare. I felt like something other than poached eggs this morning and… voila! It’s brilliant. Not to mention sugar and grain/gluten free and super-tasty.

Anyway, this post is sort of about just that: alternatives. Doing and seeing things differently. In a really intangible way that you can’t measure or touch or truly understand with the logical part of the mind. Which makes it hard to write about, but I’ll try.

I still don’t have a job, and I’ve gone through about fifty modes of dealing with this unpleasant fact in the last couple of weeks.

If I pay attention to the stark reality of being jobless only weeks from Christmas and the no-hire zone of New Year/early January, I absolutely freak out. With heart in my throat and chest-tightening anxiety that is not helpful at all. Nor does it do much for my confidence or ability to think outside the box.

The reality about the digital industry in Melbourne is that it’s pretty small and still relatively immature. Surprisingly so given that this is 2011! Sydney has in recent times overtaken Melbourne in terms of numbers of digital jobs. Which just makes me want to move back there!!

Also recruitment agents here are more often than not, sub-par. According to one recruiter I spoke to, there’s a low barrier to entry for becoming a recruiter, many agencies are competing to fill the same jobs and my skills are quite specialised. So if the recruiter has no real experience in digital, it shows. Painfully. But sadly, these unskilled people are all too often the go-between for roles I’m likely to apply for.

But here’s what I’m discovering:

The more I worry about not having a job and when I might get one, and why didn’t I get an interview with that company etc etc etc… I feel like I’m missing out on something important, and it’s that intangible “thing” that I’m trying to convey here.

Today I finally picked up Downard Dogs & Warriors by Zo Newell. It’s been sitting on my bookshelf for months and months. Very soon I’ll have finished reading it however because it hooked me from the first paragraph.

Early on, it contains the phrase: “no visible means of support”, which has a completely different meaning in the context of the story being told than the thoughts it sparked in my mind.

Because one could say that right now I have no visible means of support. Yet this does not mean I am unsupported. Not at all.

There’s the little bit of extra yoga teaching being thrown my way. The Self-Alignment Kit I was gifted with at the right time. The kinesiology appointment I was allowed to have on credit. The possibility of a little freelance work coming my way (setting up a WordPress site). And a good friend (who reads this blog, thank you darling!) who connected me with her friend to see if I could do any copywriting or any other work with her. Another friend who offered me some amazing natural skincare products including moisturisers and cleansers (excellent timing since I was running low).

The words of one of my yoga teachers also resonate right now: the Universe will always provide.

Maybe it won’t be the job that I think I want or need that comes through right now.

The support I really need is emotional and financial. I need money to pay my rent and bills and so I can eat. It just mightn’t come from the places I’m expecting it to. So I need to stop telling the Universe how to support me, and just let it unfold as it will.

Which is challenging when talking about my financial well-being. It’s counter-intuitive to not plot and plan and scheme and have a back up plan and a second back up plan. But it’s much less exhausting to trust in the process of life.

Tuesday night I went to teach my yoga class as I always do: with a mix of a half-formed plan and an open mind about what will happen in the classroom with whoever turns up. I have some amazing repeat students, and a bunch of drop-ins who float in and out. They all have their own physical challenges, and for some reason they love my class.

Last night I heard that one of my regulars has been “raving” to her friends about the school I teach at, and my classes. Which is always completely unexpected because I’m still such a newbie teacher. But then something must be working right, yes?

Quite often, what goes on in the room has little to do with me or my plan. Occasionally I find myself spontaneously offering tiny morsels of the teachings I’ve been blessed with over the years and sometimes, there are receptive ears for these wisdom seeds.

As I walked away from the school at the end of the class, I thought about how magical teaching yoga can be.

I started to wonder what life would be like if I approached it the way I do teaching. With surrender. I don’t feel the need to control every moment of what I teach. I don’t kick myself if the class plan I was thinking of goes out the window. I never worry about the number of people in my class, unless there are too many! I hate for everyone to be too cramped in my wee back room.

Basically, I let go. I allow my training to do what it will, and I use all of my senses to respond to my students. I know the class will work out, no matter what. It even works out when there are so-called “difficult” students in the room. I don’t try to teach everything I know about every given pose or aspect of yoga at any given time.

When I’m teaching and especially at the beginning and end of the class, I open up to the Universe and offer my prayers and thanks for being able to pass these teachings on to others. I connect to my teachers and their teachers and I ask for their guidance. I don’t expect anything in particular to happen as a result. I just let it be.

This creates flow, and when my energy is flowing everything feels lighter. Easier. Happier.

I know I’m asking a lot of myself to take this approach to my current unemployment situation, but maybe it might just be exactly what is needed.

So, let’s see, shall we?

~Svasti

No news and #iquitsugar week 3

Tags

Anxiety, As You Like It, blood sugar levels, Christmas, detox, Easter, Father’s Day, gluten denial, guardian angel-type people, Halloween, Hashimoto’s, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, Mother's Day, Shakespeare, sugar, sugar addiction, swings and roundabouts, Thanksgiving, trick or treating, Valentine's Day, worry

An empty street stage in a Melbourne laneway, waits for its actors

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts…

~ Shakespeare, As You Like It

Joblessness

In case you were wondering, the saying “no news is good news” is a crock o’… you-know-what.

Waiting, waiting and waiting to hear back about various leads from recruitment agencies. Sometimes the company withdraws an advertised job for financial reasons, or suddenly they’ve hired someone by other channels. Yet all the recruiters tell me what an amazing skill set I have! Often I’m just not getting a look in. Even with short term jobs that don’t pay as much as I normally get paid, but that I’d be willing to do just to have some cash flow happening.

I like to imagine that the Universe has a hand in this. As in, I won’t be placed in a job if it isn’t good for my health or stress levels etc. Ironically, having no job at all is NOT good for those things either.

It’s a case of swings and roundabouts, as the saying goes.

Then again, being in the thick of an undesirable situation is never as bad as worrying about what might happen if such a thing comes to pass. In the last weeks of my contract role, my belly was very unhappy with all of the anxiety and so (excuse the TMI) I had the runs.

Now I’m all unemployed with no new job lined up, the runs (sorry!) have cleared up. I’m getting a lot more sleep, and taking time to do the things I need to do. So that’s actually nourishing for my health. As long as I keep faith that the Universe will provide, then my stress levels are under control, too.

Plus, I find myself surrounded by lovely guardian angel-type people. Folks I wouldn’t have met had it not been for this blog, yet they are kinder and more giving than my own family.

Two such angels are Nadine and Kerry, whom I’ve talked a lot about recently. Let’s just say they are beautiful people as well as being excellent at what they do. I’m so grateful to have them in my life! Thank you! xxx

Quittin’ sugar, week 3

Last week I was dealing with a box of chocolates that I really didn’t want in my life. Bloody hell. I had some of them.

But the funny thing is that I didn’t want to consume them all like I would have before starting my sugar detox.

In fact I’ve noticed that the less sugar I have, the less I want it all. Very. Interesting.

Today at the supermarket I again noticed an absolute homage to sugar at checkouts, hoping to catch people at a weak moment.

I also really saw for the first time just how much sugar is tied to holiday occasions: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays.

You folks in the US also have Thanksgiving and Halloween. I understand there’s even a Thanksgiving dish that involves marshmallows! Let’s not even talk about the diabetes in waiting sugar situation known as trick or treating.

Anyway, like I said before: the less I have, the less I want. Conversely the more sugar I have, the more often I want it. Which is a telltale sign of addiction.

Big business bets on this addiction by including sugar in most of our processed foods. So then those extra treats at the checkout are harder to resist because there’s already plenty of sugar in our body, crying out for the next fix!

I recall certain periods in my life where I HAD to have chocolate every single day. But no longer, because this autoimmune condition of mine does much better when my blood sugar levels are balanced. Too much sugar and my body freaks out!

Honestly, I consider that a blessing.

So this week as part of the detox, I’ve been upping the ratio of good fats in my diet. Things like avocados (which are crazy cheap right now), pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, certain cheeses etc. Unsaturated fats in small doses that quickly sate my appetite and provide much needed nutrients.

In addition, I’m eating more vegetables and organic/free range meat. Plenty of water, coconut water, green tea, tulsi tea and chai.

Basically, it’s all going well and I don’t seem to be missing sugar at all. For now. Apparently it gets harder in a few more weeks…

Also: gluten denial!

Oooh boy. I confess I’ve been majorly in denial about gluten.

Only certain types of food containing gluten cause me real physical grief, specifically things like bread and pizza. In small doses I can handle dumplings (my weakness)…

But gluten is gluten.

Part of me really hates the idea of being all “special needs” with my food and this fuels my occasional rebellion.

However all the reading I’ve done on Hashimoto’s strongly recommends going gluten-free.

So I’ve had a very stern talk with myself: *clears throat* Even if we’re not having an obvious physical reaction to gluten (hello, dumplings that aren’t gluten-free!), that doesn’t mean its okay to eat it. And no, we can’t occasionally have pizza with gluten just because it’s more convenient. That’s dumb-ass, young lady, and we know it’ll hurt! So. Just. Stop.

Sheesh. Sometimes I’m very stubborn about the wrong things.

That’s all for now, y’all.

Oh! I do have a couple of things going on. I’m writing a couple of guest posts, and also maybe doing a bit of freelance work. More updates soon…

~Svasti

P.S. Please do send the Faeries In Charge of Jobs and Abundance over to my house for a spell, okay?

Week 2: Giving up sugar

Tags

adzuki beans, Chai tea, complex carbohydrates, dark chocolate, detox, hot chocolate, I Quit Sugar, impending unemployment, lentil sprouts, mung beans, stress levels, sugar

So folks, here we are! Week 2 of this quittin’ sugar detox and so far, so good.

This is actually pretty amazing because right now with the whole job situation STILL not panning out, it’s a battle to keep my stress levels under control.

And stress = feeling crappy = sugar cravings!

The job sitch

I had an interview last week and about halfway through I was pretty certain this was not a job I wanted. Given that (for now) tomorrow is my last day of actual paid-with-a-regular-pay-cheque-type employment, I was amazed that I was able to admit this to myself instead of just going for the job anyway, misgivings and all.

Which is what I would’ve done once upon a time.

But I stuck to speaking truth, and I was very clear that in no way would it be a suitable job if I wanted to retain my health.

There’ve been a couple of other interviews, but so far nothing concrete. This is the third time in as many years that I’ve been in this situation. I sure wish I knew what I’m meant to be learning from it all!

My unemployment is no longer just a potential situation. It’s happening as of COB tomorrow.

(More on what I’m doing about all of this in my next post)

Recapping week 1, sugar-free

Getting through week 1 was kind of a breeze, as all new efforts are. In the beginning when you’re committed to them, that is. Before the battle of old vs new habits really kicks in.

As I mentioned, I’d already been cutting back on sugar before I started my detox. Like, for months I ate a gluten-free cereal for breakfast that was choc-full of dried fruits. That’s some serious sugar, people! But it’s been out of my life for a couple of months now.

You see, one of the things I’ve noticed with this whole thyroid/autoimmune thing is that my body is much more sensitive to sugar than it used to be. Gone are the days when I’d devour any chocolate in my path. I simply can’t handle it anymore (thank goodness!).

So last week was about just cutting out the really obvious stuff. The low-hanging fruit, so to speak (pun intended).

For example: The odd square or two of 80% cocoa dark chocolate I’d have some days. Or an occasional hot chocolate or chai tea with honey.

However, I did trip up inadvertently a couple of times. Like ordering chai at a cafe and drinking it before figuring out that they’d stirred some agave into the pot. Doh!

Going off all fruit is a bit of a challenge. I like to inhale the odd punnet of blueberries or strawberries in lieu of anything more evil (e.g. ice-cream, chocolate). But for now, fruit has to go.

Things I’m still eating: small amounts of gluten-free bread (breakfast is usually boiled eggs or avocado on toast), and some rice. Grains, in case you weren’t aware, are complex carbohydrates that break down into sugar within the body.

My “easy-does-it”, less than hard core approach means that I haven’t taken those foods out yet. That said, I don’t eat huge amounts of bread or rice, either. For now, they’re staying put.

To date, I’ve noticed a couple of potential effects but as I mentioned to a friend of mine… I’m not sure if they have anything to do with quitting sugar or not. I could be making this up entirely!

Things like: being more aware of my appetite; my appetite seemingly spiking less intensely than usual; and, the 3pm “crash” most people experience also seems to be less extreme.

Other things

As well as cutting my sugar intake, I’ve also been reducing the number of times a week I eat out/buy take-away. It’s something that got out of control when I developed PTSD because I simply didn’t care enough to cook for myself.

Speaking of cooking – something else I’ve been reminded of lately is that handling and preparing your own food helps to sate hunger almost as much as eating it.

Oh, and also? Bought a new seed and bean sprouter so I can add living sprouted foods to my meals.

From top to bottom: adzuki beans, lentils, mung beans

The sprouter is apparently made of eco-friendly acrylic glass.

This week I’m growing mung beans, adzuki beans and lentil sprouts. 🙂

Week 2…

So far, week 2 has kicked off just fine as well. But I shouldn’t speak too soon, I imagine.

My monthly cycle usually brings all kinds of sugar and fried food cravings. I’m positive that’s gonna be another experience entirely. (Yikes!)

Wanna be my sugar-free buddy?

My friend Kate (no added sugar required for all of her sweetness) has already joined me, even if she is on the other side of the planet. So glad to have some company on this wee adventure, thanks Kitty!

But the more the merrier. Give me a shout if you’d like to join in the fun!

~Svasti

So Sugar, what’s the deal?

Tags

anti-masturbation tactic, Anxiety, autoimmune, Depression, gluten free eating, Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, Healing, hypothyroidism, I Quit Sugar, inflammation, PTSD, quitting sugar, Sarah Wilson, sugar, thyroid

Gimme some sugar, Sugar

Hey honey! Sweetie, darling! Sweetcakes! Gimme some sugar!

Or rather… please don’t.

As I mentioned briefly last week, I’ve just started a brand new regime of quitting sugar.

Today is day three.

I know. WHY the heck would I do something like that? Maybe you’re staring at the screen in horror at such a suggestion. When I announced my plans on Twitter, someone asked me: All sugar, forever?

Even across the internets, I could hear the disbelief and tension in those three little words.

But really, why?

Good question! Glad you asked. 😀

Here’s the skinny: I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. An autoimmune condition wherein my body has decided that my thyroid is a foreign entity to be attacked and destroyed. Thanks, body!

Hashimoto’s is inflammation in the body, and basically causes the thyroid to be underactive – meaning a slowed metabolism (hello, weight gain/difficulty with weight loss), an impaired immune system (getting sick a lot), low-low-low iron levels, a massive loss of energy (you try getting out of bed like this!) and a whole bunch of other less than lovely symptoms.

But if you’ve been reading this blog for a little while you’d know about some of this already. As well as my various efforts to heal my body. You can read some of my other posts if you like.

There’s all sorts of information out there about the causes (there are several), what to do about it, treatment (western and alternative medicine), what to eat and so on.

One of my key goals at the moment is reducing inflammation and trying to make my body chemistry as alkaline as possible.

Get your addict on

Here’s the thing about sugar: generally speaking it’s in everything we eat, when physiologically it’s only meant to be consumed sparingly.

As in, not every day. Heck, not even every week!

Too much sugar causes inflammation in the body, as well as contributing to weight gain, and possibly even things like making our minds whizz around too fast, sleep disturbances and so on.

Also, sugar is addictive. The more we have, the more we want.

For a somewhat humorous take on this, read how breakfast cereal was originally developed as an anti-masturbation tactic.

Been there, done it before

A bunch of years ago I did the whole sugar quitting thing. Not because I needed to (although really, we all need to at least reduce our sugar intake), but because it was a Thing.

A dieting technique: cut all sugars and all grains and the weight drops off!

While this is actually true, that kind of all-or-nothing approach can be hard to sustain.

But for the period of time I was on my ABSOLUTELY NO SUGAR kick, I felt and looked amazing.

Keeping it up is another story. Especially in our heavily sugar addicted culture. Especially when attempting to eat out with friends, or even order a drink in a bar. Seriously.

So I lapsed. Eventually my sugar intake was back to its previous levels and with it, much of the weight I’d dropped.

Then I was assaulted, developed PTSD and depression and started eating like shit because most days all I could manage was cheese and crackers, peanut butter on toast, eating out/ordering take-away, or ice cream. So I put on more weight.

Finally, I started to work on healing my mind, heart and soul. What I didn’t realise at the time is that mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety and depression absolutely mess with your body and brain chemistry, and even your DNA.

So as a result of all of this, I now have an autoimmune condition. More healing required! But then, when does it ever truly stop? And why should it have to?

Sarah Wilson’s “I Quit Sugar” e-book

Sarah Wilson's "I Quit Sugar" ebook

When I was first diagnosed, I took to Twitter to ask for information on thyroid stuff as well as gluten-free eating (recommended for thyroidy people).

One of the first crowd-sourced suggestions was to read Sarah’s blog.

She doesn’t just write about Hashimoto’s, eating gluten and sugar free – there’s lots of other cool posts, too.

Recently she published a little ebook (note: this is an affiliate link*) that I immediately snapped up. I’ve now read it cover to cover and this week I began my new journey to a sugar-free life!

The thing I like about Sarah’s approach is that she’s NOT all hardcore do-or-die about it. She suggests an eight week slowly-does-it technique.

Allowing you to ween yourself off the sweet stuff bit by bit.

* Which means that if you buy Sarah’s ebook from clicking on the above link, I get paid a small fee.

But really, for how long?

The answer to “All sugar, forever?” is: I don’t know. Maybe. We’ll see. It’s “for now” anyways. For the foreseeable future, yes.

Sarah even suggests that after you’ve “detoxed” from your sugar addiction, it might be possible to re-introduce limited amounts of sugar into your diet again.

But it really depends on your body and how it reacts to even a little bit of sugar. Does it kick off the addiction again or are you cool with tiny amounts?

You kinda won’t know until you detox for a few months and then give it a try.

So yeah, here I go with my new sugar-free living adventure.

Let me know if you’d like to join in so we can support each other. It’d be excellent to have a buddy along for the ride.

Anyways, I’ll be posting updates on my progress around once a week to keep myself accountable to someone – YOU!

Wish me well, m’lovelies.

~ Svasti xxx

Throwing spaghetti at the wall

Tags

autoimmune, carbohydrates, dark night of the soul, dis-ease, gluten, Hashimoto’s, hypothyroidism, Kinesiology, metabolism, PTSD, spaghetti, sugar, throwing spaghetti at the wall, thyroid

Being a poetical type, I like to think of this as the twilight time of my thyroid diagnosis. There’s a little bit of light being cast by the moon, but it is kinda hard to see on account of the growing darkness (it’s always darkest before dawn, natch).

I could go on with the clichés – dark night of the soul and all that. But hey, I’ve had several of those already and they no longer freak me out…

But I reckon it fits: this is the twilight time, the settling dusk. While I do know what’s coming (sort of), it’s gonna be a while before sunrise makes an appearance.

Saw the doctor this morning for my blood test results and yessum, I hit the hypothyroid jackpot – Hashimoto’s – which is the autoimmune version of this dis-ease.

But then apparently, most people diagnosed with hypothyroidism will have Hashimoto’s. For whatever reason, that’s just how it is.

My naturopathic-MD friend, the one who described thyroid problems an epidemic? She wasn’t wrong. At least two of my friends also have the same condition. Another friend possibly does, but she hasn’t had the tests to confirm it yet. I had a lovely Skype chat with one of these friends on the weekend. It’s good to have some love and support from someone who’s been through it all.

Right now there’s a lot to digest. And hey, I get that this isn’t cancer (at least, probably not!) but it IS a life-long illness that requires constant monitoring and careful caring for my physical, mental and emotional well-being. Which is the sort of stuff we should all be doing for ourselves anyway, and yet most of us don’t. Until we have to, which is the boat I now find myself in along with millions of others.

Where to begin? Currently, this is where I’m at…

I’ve been taking hormone tablets for a month now. I’m quite ambivalent about that, being more into natural/alternative therapies and I honestly haven’t noticed that much difference since I started them. On the other hand, I did notice a significant difference when I began my epic consumption of vitamins/minerals/amino acids.

Symptom-wise, my energy is still up and down like a yo-yo. I need LOTS of sleep and always wake up tired. Even though I need sleep, I sometimes find it hard to stay asleep for a full eight hours. If I have a busy weekend or if I’m out after work a couple of nights in a row, the next night MUST be a rest night. It’s like a car running out of petrol – I simply stop. My monthly cycle still makes me feel like I’m about to die (no exaggeration). And of course, I am still not losing weight, no matter how well I eat and take care of myself.

I didn’t even really know what to ask my doctor today, despite all the reading I’ve done in the last month. I mentioned some of the research and information I’ve discovered, but it seemed like I had to prompt her to tell me anything useful.

Apparently cutting dairy is recommended in addition to sugar and gluten – these food stuffs are considered toxic for people with Hashimoto’s (lately, I’ve begun noticing my distaste for sugary anything). I also need to be careful with my consumption of carbohydrates (which are basically sugar). All of which – with the exclusion of gluten – is stuff people do to lose weight.

Someone even commented on Twitter that as a result of these changes, I’ll be skinny. BUT. But. This isn’t necessarily the case, because the thyroid is intimately involved with the metabolism, and my thyroid is faulty. It’s going to take time and a fair bit of trial and error to figure this all out and it still doesn’t mean I’ll be “skinny” when I do.

{Confession: there’s still a part of me that hopes my Hashimoto’s isn’t “that bad”. Which is disturbingly similar to how I viewed the beginning of my (undiagnosed at the time) slide into PTSD-land. Luckily I know better now.}

However in some ways this is true: currently I only have a mild level of autoimmune antibodies – which can easily become worse without appropriate treatment. My situation is complicated because I’m also ridiculously deficient in iron, B12, and vitamin D. So my doctor thinks it’ll be six months or so before we’ve got a better view of what’s going on.

I think I get it though – she’s trying not to overwhelm me with a billion pieces of information. She wants me to make small step-changes, bit by bit. But it’s hard, because I don’t want it to take so long and I like to know everything up front.

Next up for me is to get an ultrasound for my thyroid (there’s such a thing as thyroid cancer that needs to be ruled out), and see an endocrinologist who specialises in thyroid disorders.

I’ve got a referral, a bunch of test print outs and two extra supplements to take (selenium and Activated B6). I have another referral too; for a kinesiologist who has herself had thyroid issues. Also on my team is my acupuncturist.

There are other specialists that I’m getting in touch with as well… but my budget can only take so much at any one time!

So I guess this is throw the (gluten free) spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks time. I don’t know what will work yet and until I do, I’m gonna keep throwing spaghetti, if y’know what I mean…

~ Svasti