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Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

~ Recovery from PTSD & depression + yoga, silliness & poetry…

Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness

Tag Archives: Tara Stiles

News from the anti-Slim, Calm, Sexy “Yoga” trenches

16 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by Svasti in Health & healing, Yoga

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

American Yoga, anti-yoga yoga, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Depression, hypocritical, Land Down Under, meaningless gloop, minority voice, Mr. Men, oil and water, old fashioned mind-set, passive-aggressive, patronising, pseudo-yoga, PTSD, radical feminist, radical humanists, Roald Dhal, Samskaras, Slim Calm Sexy, Tara Stiles, trenches, Upanishads, Yoga, yoga puree, Yogis

This guy is hoping it's safe to come out of this low crouching position soon!

The ongoing discussion re: Tara Stiles’ Slim Calm Sexy “Yoga” and similar horrendous-yet-commercial “anti-yoga yoga” advertising, certainly has legs (no pun intended).

Like oil and water, seems there’s two main groups disagreeing with each other and the effects are still reverberating around the blogosphere.

I’ve been called a “radical feminist” for my opinions, although in this day and age I’ve no idea what is radical about anything I’ve said. In fact, as Linda put it (someone who was also labelled as such), perhaps we are “radical humanists” at the most. But our views on all of this are not extreme in any way.

It’s also been suggested that anyone who thinks Tara is selling out is just jealous of her success. Can you imagine that? Women who oppose yoga being used as a weapon against women’s self-esteem are being accused of things that suggest a very old fashioned mind-set, circa 1960s. And being accused by other women, no less!

Apparently, my anger and objections to the way Tara is using yoga can be boiled down to “extreme” ideas and oh… jealousy. How nice, because then you get to ignore me, right?

I shake my head in wonder, particularly because I expected more from some people. But perhaps they want to buy into the fame and glory associated with models-turned-yoga-teachers-who-don’t-know-yoga-from-a-hole-in-their… y’know. I’ve no idea! It does at least appear that some people’s heads are turned by even the slightest association with someone famous, even if they don’t actually know them personally!

But then, perhaps that’s just part of their samskaras in this life. Who’s to say?

I’ve even had to end my association with a couple of bloggers who quite frankly, have been incredibly judgey, patronising and hypocritical. Although if our ideas on yoga, human/women’s rights differ so much, then perhaps that’s for the best at this point in time.

Maybe that’s how I look to them, too. It’s possible! I’m okay with others disagreeing with me, but not with being called names and people getting all passive-aggressive about it. With me, if I don’t like something I’m gonna tell you to your face (and I have!).

So it’s been quite the ride, but then I think it just shows how important this issue is. Everyone’s personal issues (mine included) – or rather our samskaras – are flaring up like crazy!

There’s a “don’t pick on Tara, she’s not hurting anybodeee” attitude that belies the reality of what’s going on. (BTW “Lalanna”, folks who leave comments on my blog with a fake email address will NOT get published!).

But actually this isn’t about Tara personally (although please don’t get me started on the 20 hour “yoga teacher training” she offers!), so much as it is about a certain approach to yoga. Or “pseudo-yoga”, shall we call it? Or perhaps “yoga-flavoured movement to sell books and DVDs”?

There also seems to be a “peace, love and its all good no matter what” thing going on. Let’s all agree with everybody else! But in my opinion, that’s how you get something I like to call “yoga puree”, or meaningless gloop.

And if yoga puree is what people think is acceptable, why don’t we all just not bother with (expensive) yoga teacher training? Why not just read some Roald Dhal and Mr. Men and call ourselves yoga teachers? I’ll translate Charlie and the Chocolate Factory into a version of the Upanishads, shall I?

Or rather, I won’t.

Sad when a student says on the first day of my Mindful Yoga class, “I hope I survive this class!” I asked “why do you say that?” She said “I’m not flexible”, not this, not that. I said “What makes you think yoga is all about that?” She said “all the ads I see.”

So for those who think current ads for yoga have no affect on future students, look harder. She had not done yoga for 40 years – said [that] yoga 40 years ago was “about the mind”. I said, “In my class it still is”. She left feeling wonderful BTW..:)

And after class she said her hips no longer hurt.

~from Linda-Sama about a very recent student

Can you imagine? A mature-age woman who felt inadequate about going to a yoga class! Because of yoga ads.

It’s not like I’m saying it’s all the fault of people like Tara Stiles, but she sure isn’t helping the situation! She herself is caught up in her own samskaras. So she really can’t help it, I guess.

And this is what we need to be mindful of. We cannot be okay with calling everything and anything yoga! We cannot let yoga be over-run with a very narrow definition of acceptable physical appearance in the same way the fashion industry has! We cannot allow yoga to be co-opted by the fashion industry (any more than it already is) or other commercial pursuits!

I realise that those of us who are dissenting are apparently the minority voice. But then, that’s traditionally been the role of yogis anyway. And yoga has always been about freeing the mind of such shallow and limited points of view. So really, it makes sense.

It’s just rather sad.

Years ago, I remember listening to my Guru explain a bunch of stuff about “American Yoga”, and make clear definitions between what we were studying and ummm, other kinds of teachings. Not in an elitist way, however. Back then, I didn’t really get it. But now I do, and I also understand why he refuses to live in America and be a part of the yoga scene there. It’s just too KRAAAAAZY for him!

I also recall the yoga debate on Yoga Dork’s blog a while back. At the time, I didn’t understand why the Indian community was so angry about the western-world co-opting yoga the way it has. I’d like to apologise to those people now!

Perhaps I didn’t get it because I’ve only ever been trained in a relatively traditional way. I have an authentic Guru who’s given me an incredible knowledge base already. And all of the yoga I’ve studied, practice and teach is relatively traditional, too.

Also, here in Australia we simply don’t have the same sort of yoga scene that the US does.

In the Land Down Under, yoga is still just plain old (but super-wonderful) yoga. No bells. No whistles. No catchy slogans to manipulate people into signing up for yoga class or buying a book or DVD.

Just yoga.

And really, that’s all I’m interested in.

I’m not giving up my position in the trenches. I’ll still disagree with blatantly commercial and self-esteem harming advertising in the name of yoga. BUT, I won’t bother trying to convince those who are too deluded to see. Not any more, anyway.

And I’ll still be here writing about real yoga (I won’t be shutting up any time soon), along with topics like PTSD and depression. Because they’re all inter-related as human experiences, and we need to look for truth in each of them.

You can count on that. You can also count on me being fierce (as is my warrior nature) as I do so, and truthful. And I won’t give up, I promise!

~Svasti

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Samskaras in samsara – part 2

10 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Svasti in Health & healing, Yoga

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Asana, Asatoma Sat Gamaya, Ayurveda, bandha, Brihadaranyaka Upanishad, dance, Deepak Chopra, duality, Karma, Krishna, Limitations, martial arts, Meditation, metaphysical, mula, non-dual reality, pranayama, psychoanalysis, Reality, Samsara, samskara, self-loathing, Shanti Path, Slim Calm Sexy, Swami Niranjananda Sawaswati, Tara Stiles, Wake up, Yoga, yogic philosophy, Yogis

I didn’t take this photo, but I’ve driven past this statue of Arjuna in Bali. It’s magnificent!

[Read part 1 first]

Okay, so enough with the psychoanalysis of our western self-loathing mind-set for a moment.

How about we go beyond the physical, to the metaphysical for a bit? Yeah?

Okay, so let’s take a tiny peek at some of the subtleties of yogic philosophy.

Note #1: I’m going to do my best to explain these rather complex concepts to you as passed down from my wonderful teachers. Of course, my understanding is still limited and imperfect but hey… I’ll give it a go. Also, there’s only so much I can pack into a single blog post!

Note #2: This is another long post. Try to hang in there!!

Samsara is considered to be this world of duality – the place where the universe can experience its Self as Other than its Self. ‘Nuff said about that for now…

And samskaras are deeply embedded patterns of energy within collective energy forms that manifest as individual human beings. “Pattern” being the key word here – a pattern comes from actions being repeated over and over again. And of course, the more often a pattern is repeated, the harder it is to change it. Kinda like a train running on the only tracks it’s got.

Samskara is a very peculiar thing. It is the library within a DNA molecule, containing everything that we have imbibed. One DNA molecule contains the total information of all of the libraries in the world combined. Samskaras are like that too. Samskaras are the inputs of volumes and volumes of books which we carry within us and which have been accumulating over millions of years. When these samskaras come to the surface of the mind, they are very powerful.
~From Yoga Darshan, Swami Niranjananda Sawaswati

A samskara then, is a thought or activity that’s become part of how the world appears to us. It can define our preferences, personality, understanding of other people and things. And with those definitions come limitations – what is subjectively true and what is not. However, limitations aren’t actually “bad”, not in the least.

In fact, they are key to our ability to exist in as humans where we all appear as separate entities, cut off from source/the universe/god etc. So, samskaras can be considered to be both useful (i.e. they comprise and make possible our limited view of the world) and problematic (when we can’t discriminate between our limited view and a wider view).

Still with me?

Limitations are a naturally occurring construct of this world and universe. They are part of how we function, our identity, why we have certain opinions and emotions and ideas. Our samskaras interact with karma (another much-maligned and misunderstood yogic concept) and form a filter through which we view “reality”. As we know, reality at this level is different for everyone, and far from the non-dual view the rishis and wisdom masters speak of. Hence, our diversity of opinions!

However, one of the true goals of yoga and serious yogis is to free ourselves from the limitations of the dual world, while simultaneously existing in both the dual and the non-dual. In fact, we can’t exist in the non-dual without duality, because then it wouldn’t be a non-dual reality – for the non-dual to be truly non-dual, it also has to encompass duality (hope that makes sense!).

Asatoma Sat Gamaya
Lead me from the unreal to the Real

Tamasoma Jyotir Gamaya
Lead me from the darkness to the Light

~Brihadaranyaka Upanishad

And so we yogis work to free ourselves from limited views through an intimate understanding of, and connection to our mind and body. The path to achieving this can include: asana, pranayama, mula, bandha, meditation, martial arts, dance, Ayurveda and so on. Usually, more than one of these methods is required to develop our mind-body awareness. Ultimately this MUST include long and deep hours of meditation (as opposed to say, fifteen minutes a day).

Freeing ourselves from limited views does not mean however, denying our anger or any other emotion. We need to go fully into the experience of being a human being in order to understand and liberate ourselves from the suffering of samsara. Because, how can you possibly be free of what you don’t understand?

As such, suppressing emotions or decrying other people’s anger as “un-yogic” is doing little more than keeping you stuck on those same train tracks, going around and around and around… and the more circuits of the train track you make, the harder it is to change. Get it?

It is tricky, because on the one hand we are here on this planet that exists in duality, and so we play by the rules of this world where interactions with people, our emotional states and experiences DO matter. But then, as we learn to drop into non-duality more and more (it comes in flashes or waves), we begin to see how much none of it really matters in the end. And things start to change as we begin to increasingly experience non-duality as our actual reality.

It can be both incredibly liberating and stupendously confusing at the same time…

And yet. We MUST learn to see the real from the unreal. This for me, is what makes the false and harmful messages about body image (burn that bra fat, minimise those wider-than-desired hips) so completely alarming.

Because it is being condoned not just by Tara Stiles (who, as a yogi with connections to Deepak Chopra should bloody well know better), but by so many other people involved in yoga.

The outcry in return seems to be all “don’t hate on Tara”, “don’t hate on anything we want to define as yoga” and “you people who are complaining are just simply un-yogic”.

BUT all of the folks in that camp – including Tara – are missing the glaringly obvious point here:

Yoga is about liberation from samskaras and the human condition of suffering. NOT about playing into and re-enforcing those patterns for ourselves and others. NOT about continuing to make people think there is something wrong about their physical appearance that needs to be fixed – this is a mass personal and cultural samskara and one that’s deeply embedded!!

This isn’t a personal attack on Tara or anyone else, but as my own Guru would say: WHERE IS YOUR MIND??

My criticism comes from asking: what kind of yogi supports messages that invoke deep-seated insecurities and self-esteem issues of others? From generating and confirming samskaras as real instead of limited thinking that one can learn to revoke?

This is not good work. And it is not yogic in the least. In fact, those in the yoga community who buy into this, saying that it’s all okay, are demonstrating minds that are still deeply embedded in their own samskaras, whatever they might be. Some things are NOT okay, especially coming from yogis.

Seriously, anyone who thinks Tara Stiles’ “Slim Calm Sexy” yoga is an okay way to market yoga to the uninitiated masses is not engaging in enough discernment or discriminate thinking. And those uninitiated masses? They probably spend most of their time feeling deeply unhappy and thinking self-loathing thoughts anyway, and don’t NEED anyone else to point it out to them!

Even as Tara et all are claiming “it doesn’t matter how people come to yoga” – and I’ll admit that’s generally true – in some ways it actually DOES. Because by pressing the self-esteem/physical appearance buttons you’re embedding those samskaras just a little more deeply than before and messing with someone’s appreciation of what yoga is all about. Who knows how much extra work – conscious and sub-consciously – will be involved in undoing all of that?

Basically, the Tara Stiles school of yoga marketing is unhealthy and unethical.

And as another teacher I’ve studied with would put it… WAKE UP!!

Or as I’d put it… WAKE (THE FUCK) UP!!

This is not a popularity contest where we have to be friends with everyone and accept everything that’s said about yoga, simply because we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

SO WAKE UP!!

Remember, Krishna was a warrior and he worked very hard to make Arjuna fight a battle. It’s not always about having the most friends, but about cutting through the crap and seeing clearly.

Lead me from the unreal to the freaking real, already!

~Svasti

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Samskaras in samsara – part 1

08 Wednesday Sep 2010

Posted by Svasti in Health & healing, Yoga

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Amazonian, Asana, Barbie doll, bra fat, Compassion, disingenuous, fat burning, Fry your fat on the mat, hamster wheel, Healing, Heart-Chakra Opening, infomercials, jiva mukti, liberation, Living Liberation, Love, Meditation, modern-day sorcery, Radical Self-Acceptance, Self-esteem, Slim Calm Sexy Yoga, Tara Stiles, un-yogic, Unreasonable Joy, Yin Yoga, Yoga, yoga teachers

Thanks, Yoga Dawg!! 🙂

I’ve been thinking this one through and I wanted to break down my outrage for y’all a little more re: the Tara Stiles saga.

I’m much calmer now. Not so much with the angry. But still, this latest “yoga scandal” resonates with me in a way that none of the other recent issues have (e.g. see Toe Sox-Gate), and I’m gonna explain why. In detail. So bear with me, okay?

To kick things off: Tara Stiles has called her book and presumably “her” yoga “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga”. She promotes it as such and clearly believes in this message. However for me, this is very problematic.

The title itself is disingenuous.

What I mean by that is this: if you do enough yoga or ANY other kind of exercise, you will lose weight as a by-product. And for that you don’t need to buy the “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga” book. Whether 15 minutes a day of yoga is enough to deliver the sort of results Tara is claiming… well, that’s debatable.

As for “Slim”? Really? There are people in this world – people like me – who, even at their thinnest, could NEVER be described as thin. I might look in shape, toned and slim for my build (think tall Amazonian proportions, broad shoulders, busty, curvy), but no one would call me slim when there’s a world of underfed actresses and models to be compared to.

Calm, eh? Hmmm. Yesss… a little meditation and regular old yoga will help you with the calm factor. So will getting enough sleep.

And Sexy? So erm… is sexiness implied in relation to Slim? Are you only Sexy if you’re Slim and Calm? Can you possibly be Sexy and neither Slim or Calm?

And that’s just for starters.

Honestly, I don’t really care if Tara has “sensible” You Tube videos or other “helpful” tips in her book, as has been pointed out by other bloggers. And I don’t buy the “poor Tara, she’s just a victim of the marketing machine selling her book, it’s not her fault” excuse, either.

Surely, if she truly objected to the way it was going to be marketed, she’d pull out of the deal and/or find another publisher? I know I would!

And let’s not forget her “Fry your fat on the mat” segment which directly supports those advertising messages! I don’t mean to be snooty, but I’d like to point out that in that TV spot she was holding standard yoga poses for only a minute or two and calling them “fat burning” exercises. On live TV being broadcast to millions of viewers.

In direct contrast, a male yoga teacher friend of mine talks about asana in terms of their healing benefits. Yep, HEALING.

And hey, let’s not forget that Yin Yoga (which I haven’t practiced, but Linda teaches) involves holding asana for MUCH longer than a minute (with ZERO mentions of fat burning!).

Guess what I’m saying is that certain attributes have been assigned to Tara’s yoga style and the benefits promised are actually true for doing ANY kind of yoga. But generally, those things are considered by-products of the practice, and not the end-goal.

So, already there’s a major disconnect happening here for me.

But don’t get me wrong: I think it’s perfectly fine to want to lose weight (healthily, I might add). If that’s what you think you need. And in some cases for reasons to do with health and longevity, weight loss is desirable. But not to make you better, calmer or sexier.

Of course, this is the common mythology of our society and it begins the moment young girls are given their first Barbie and Ken dolls: thinner (for girls)/more muscular (for guys) = Better.

BUT THIS IS NOT YOGA.

And in my humble opinion, it is NOT okay for yoga teachers to reinforce the message that you aren’t okay the way you are. You’re fat. You need to do MY yoga in order to lose weight. Fry your fat! Buy my book!!

(My Guru refers to marketing as modern-day sorcery because of its ability to manipulate people to do what you want them to do.)

This kind of marketing message is anti EVERYTHING that yoga stands for, and it’s one of the few things that I’d describe as “un-yogic” – a word that in general I detest and think is used as a slur/insult to judge others (and therefore is in itself, un-yogic. Doh!). But that’s a whole other post!

The very branding of yoga as “Slim Calm Sexy” with skimpily-clad images of Tara infers: “Be like me/look like me”.

It doesn’t even matter if she never says that explicitly – the message is there like a blinking neon light because it’s tapping directly into all of the pre-existing “lose 100lbs and get a life” late-night infomercials that have been playing ad nausea in our collective unconscious for far too many years.

Now, here’s a cold hard fact: depending on your metabolism/doshas, genes, physical build and bone structure, you might NEVER look like Tara. Ever.

Then… what happens when those 15 minutes of “fat burning” yoga a day DON’T get rid of one’s bra fat (I’m assuming this refers to the little roll that forms under the back of the bra)? Because let’s face it – this is NOT going to be enough for some people at all.

Note: There’s no one-size-fits-all yoga routine that’s guaranteed to make a person lose weight!

==Also, as Nadine has rightly pointed out in the comments, there’s nothing wrong with bra fat anyway==

So, if someone doesn’t get the result they expect, what will it mean about their impression of yoga and more importantly, their relationship to themselves? Has yoga, then, just added another nail in the coffin of someone’s self-esteem instead of offering them a powerful means of liberation from such things?

This sort of thinking in Tara’s book and marketing in general is symptomatic of the “I’ll be happy when…” disease. When I’m richer, thinner, better looking, when I’ve had that nose/boob job, got a better job, a lover, children and so on… THEN I’ll be happy.

Of course, “I’ll be happy when…” is a lie.

And the cure to this malaise is NEVER more improvements or possessions. I mean, we know this, right? Because when we do get what we want, we’re still not as happy as we thought we’d be, right? Like a hamster on its wheel, we keep spinning on the spot thinking we’re getting somewhere but in fact, we’re digging ourselves a deeper and deeper hole.

The ONLY way out of the hamster wheel is to fully buy into Radical Self-Acceptance: that everything about you is perfect just the way you are… there’s no need to keep running, and searching. Everything you want and need is already right here, and you’ve just got to learn to see it.

Right now, some of you might be thinking: OMG, that sounds like a huge pile of horse dung, right?

How could I possibly be okay if I don’t have movie star looks and/or a model shaped body? How can I like or love myself if I’m not this generalised western concept of everything that’s acceptably attractive, fun and social? If I don’t have the right clothes, a house, a car, a family, lots of friends. HOW COULD ANY OF THAT BE OKAY?!!

Well, because who you are is not limited to your appearance, clothes, your job, how you live, your friends, hobbies and habits. None of those things!

And because if you like, you can choose to start exploring what else you might be. What other wondrous possibilities might be associated with being a human being in this inter-connected interplay of the universe!

And this, my friends, is what yoga is all about.

Because yoga is, amongst other things, Radical Self-Acceptance, Unreasonable Joy (i.e. joy without reason or cause), Heart-Chakra Opening, generating Love and Compassion, and the tradition of Living Liberation (jiva mukti)…

WHAT??! You thought yoga was just about stretching or frying your fat or getting a toned butt? Erm, sorry. That’s. Just. Not. True.

There’s much more to come! And here’s part 2..

~Svasti

P.S. Here’s a few related posts on the subject in no particular order. I don’t necessarily agree with every post, but feel free to make up your own mind!

From Nadine: The making of a yoga body

From The BlissChick: DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK

From EcoYogini: Selling Yoga: The Trends that Define our Culture

From Curvy Yoga: Yoga, weight loss, and transformation

From Brooks Hall: Slim Sexy Savvy and Yoga-sex

From Linda-Sama #1: Words almost fail me

From Linda-Sama #2: Seva is sexy

From Linda-Sama #3: Burn your blubber, fry your fat

From Linda-Sama #4: Upon further reflection of yoga noise

From Yoga Dawg: The New Epidemic: Bra Fat

From Yoga Dork: Tara Stiles Launches ‘Slim, Calm, Sexy’ Yoga to Acclaim, Insult, Revolt (see marketing)

From It’s All Yoga, Baby: Toesoxnudegate: the feminists & Kathryn Budig speak up

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Yoga, Grace and time out

06 Monday Sep 2010

Posted by Svasti in Life

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Asana, bones, Dagnabbit, dancing dust motes, Dyson, fox hole, freelance, Grace, herbs in the window, Lululemon, marmas, mirages, mission-critical, new things, remedial massage, security blanket, Shadow Yoga, substitute teaching, Tara Stiles, time out, Universe, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life, yoga teaching

Just to be a touch more specific (as opposed to my previous post), here’s one of those New Things I hinted at but with a few more details this time.

Well, it’s a new-old thing really: last Friday I finished up a five week stint of freelance work. Originally it was meant to be only two weeks. And when I started at the very end of July, I had several seemingly decent options for more permanent/long term work.

I was even verballed: “We definitely want you, you’re the right person for the job!”

Uh huh.

But as the freelance work was extended, the other offers evaporated in ways most surprising. From one angle they looked very solid and convincing but shifting to the side a little,  seems they were nothing but dancing dust motes glistening in the sunlight. I’d tell you how it all went down but y’know, the upshot is that those so-called possible jobs weren’t real.

It was weird, and not weird. I mean, before going into some of those interviews I KNEW already that they weren’t gonna work out. In one instance, I looked into the face of one of the people interviewing me and thought: This is a very angry man and I wouldn’t care to work for him. In yet another, I realised even as I was doing my best to spruik my skills, I knew I didn’t want to work there.

So what was wrong with these people and places? Probably nothing. I think it has more to do with me (and more on that soon, too)…

Meanwhile, I was totally rocking the freelance job. Possibly because the actual work involved was stuff I’d mastered long ago so it wasn’t challenging. Not that that matters for freelance work, and still, I LOVE making stuff in the digital space. The people were nice, and it was a twenty-minute cycle from my place when the traffic was heavy. Fifteen minutes on a good day!

Even at this job however, there were mirages… people sniffing around to see if they could hire me. The only problem was that the job that was available was the one I was doing for them already. Which means that basically I would’ve been ridiculously bored within a few months. So, not ideal…

Then last Wednesday I was unexpectedly told that Friday would be my last day. They’d found someone for the role who was more “mid-weight” in their experience (and presumably not costing them as much as I did). And that was that… I was out of there. The way of the world in the freelance space!

So I’m once again faced with joblessness. And I know that a couple of you have outrageously suggested that perhaps this is all a sign to move on to a New Path! Yes, yes… I get that! And I get that from the Universe as well, who is being rather persistent in Her attempts to push me towards New Things, too.

Dagnabbit!

So, on top of the substitute teaching I’m doing with the blokey yogis (last week’s class didn’t happen BTW, because too many of them were away but we’re soooo ON for this Friday), I’ve also scored another subbing gig. This is a one-off for now, but in general I’m on their books!

And it’s all thanks to the wonderful Sevapuri (@yidl), who I became friends with via Twitter. We met up a few months back when he was in Melbourne (from Sydney) for dinner and a chat about all things yoga. Recently, he kindly suggested me as a sub to the Melbourne Yoga In Daily Life school.

So last Saturday I sat in on the class I’ll be teaching (a very easy/general level class) and got the run down on turning lights and heaters on and off etc. As it turns out, this week I’ll be teaching a Hatha/Vinyasa blokes class on Friday (very early in the morning!), followed by a super-gentle/traditional Hatha class mid-morning on Saturday. Quite a nice balance really.

And… I do hear you, Universe. I do. I get that I’m meant to do more yoga teaching. BUT I need you to understand that right now, just teaching a few classes here and there isn’t gonna pay my rent. So I’d appreciate a little leeway and I’d ESPECIALLY appreciate a semi-long term/more permanent job in the interim. Yeah?

If we can get that happening, then I promise that I’ll step up my plans for yoga teaching!

In fact, I’ve already started. Last Saturday on my way back from the Yoga In Daily Life school, I dropped in at Lululemon to inquire about running classes there. I’m now on their yoga teacher list!

Also, after thinking about it for months, today I finally took down the number of a church hall round the corner from my place. I’m gonna call them and see what they charge to rent out their space. There’s also a PCYC just down the road from me I’ll be getting in touch with, too.

Truthfully, I’ve been quite afraid of taking on yoga teaching properly. For reasons I might explore in another post sometime!

But then in light of the whole Tara-Stiles-fat-burning-yoga/hey-yoga-is-anything-we-want-it-to-be saga… well, I’m feeling more confident in what I have to offer. I mean, I know there’s this whole new skill I’m learning (called teaching other people!!), but my knowledge of yoga and years of training means that yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve already got something to share.

In some ways I still consider myself a beginner in terms of my yoga studies. Okay, perhaps I’m a little more than a beginner, but there’s still SO MUCH I don’t know! But hey, if something I’ve learned in the past nine or so years can provide inspiration, an opening, some joy etc, to others, then whoohoo!

Right…

I made very good use of today, my first day of not having a job again. I can’t quite believe it, but I did something incredibly domestic (and much needed): took my Dyson vacuum cleaner in for a service. There’s one service center in Melbourne, and it’s only open 9-5 Monday-Friday. Of course! So heck yeah, why not use my time off to sort out such ridiculous things, eh?

Then after a rather mission-critical (i.e. no food in house) grocery shop, I ate lunch at a delightful little cafe near my place, where the above photo was taken. Don’t you just love the herbs in the window? I was drawn to them, and sat at the bench there to eat a most flavoursome minestrone.

For the afternoon, I’d booked a remedial massage for that pesky shoulder of mine. It is getting better BTW, slowly but surely with a combination of yoga, physio, massage, and probably some acupuncture thrown in soon, too. It’s still rather painful, but I’m able to do much more yogasana than I could earlier this year. Which is a win! Things like Catuspadapitham (table top) have been beyond my pain threshold until recently. As has Sarvangasana (shoulder stand) and Chakrasana (wheel) to name but a few. Now these movements are slowly coming back!

And then, oh… more Shadow Yoga this evening. Goodness but I LOVE that practice! Although I haven’t mastered the series yet (ha! suspect mastery is a while off still), I’m quite amazed at how much stronger I am and how much less I fall over/out of the asana. Interestingly though, none of this strength comes from stronger muscles as such… it’s more about the mind and the bones.

Incidentally, Shadow Yoga is only the third time I’ve ever heard anyone talk about moving from the bones in relation to asana. The first person was my Guru. Our retreat in Bali about four years ago was focused on asana and we had many discussions about awareness of and movement from the bones. I don’t think I understood it all properly then! Linda has also spoken about bones, and about her teacher Paul Grilley’s work in the area.

And now with Shadow Yoga, there’s always a discussion on various marmas and bones, as well as the breath (but of course). Actually, it’s probably time I added another Shadow-specific post here…

So that was my day. Basically, I’ve decided to embrace my time out while continuing to look for more work. But in the mean time, I’m also considering how to diversify my income through teaching more yoga classes, freelance writing and who knows what else!

The first time I was out of work for a long period of time was last year and I pretty much fell to pieces (admittedly I WAS still in the deathly grip of depression!). The second time was July. ALL of July really! And I did better then, but still, I spent most of my time holed up in my fox hole. Still a bit afraid and unsure of what to do with myself. This time I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do.

So I am listening, Ma. I am. Just please don’t whip away all of my security blankets/support too quickly! Thanks ever-so-much…

~Svasti

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New things

02 Thursday Sep 2010

Posted by Svasti in Learnings, Life

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Change, Fear, geekery, Grace, iPhone, iPhone 4, Ma, new things, parallel universe, scary factor, siren song, Stress, swan song, Tara Stiles, Yoga

"In a parallel reality I was spinning out of control..."

Finally caved and got myself an iPhone. It arrived a couple of days ago. In fact, this post (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) was MEANT to be a test-run publish from the aforementioned new phone via a WordPress iPhone app. But y’know how test-runs often go… things have a tendency to not work out quite as planned. Kind of like life. But yeah.

Anyhoooo. Til now, I’ve resisted all of the wonderful iPhone goodness for one very simple reason: none of the previous models have had a good enough camera. Look – it’s not like I don’t have a decent stand-alone camera. I do. BUT I don’t always carry it with me everywhere, and I like to be able to take photos on the fly of whatever inspires me. Hence the reliance on my mobile phone’s camera. And it has to be good. Well, good enough. And Apple have finally got with the program on that front!

(Evidence: see the strangely appropriate street art photo at the top of this post)

Of course, it helped that my phone contract was up, too. And that my previous phone has been performing it’s swan song for months. So it was perfect timing really. I’d agonised over whether to go with an iPhone, HTC or Android (please excuse the geekery if you’ve no idea what I’m talking about!) but for various reasons, iPhone 4 won. For now.

The last couple of days have been quite geeky as a result. Had to get to know my new friend (yes, a phone can be a friend, can’t it?), and there’s been all sorts of things to set up and configure. Apps to download that make life oh-so-much-easier. Syncing it with my Google contacts and calendar. I’m quite into mobile internet access, and wow, I really didn’t get it before that le iPhone makes many of the things I do on my phone a zillion times easier and funner.

I heart it very VERY much! 😀

And this has of course, been one of the new things in my life recently. But it’s not the only one. There are others. Even if they aren’t all quite as delightful. Actually, some of them are old-new things with an update to keep them ‘fresh’. Others are sooooo brand-new, I don’t have appropriate words for them right now. On account of the scary factor.

More on all of that soon.

Also, more soon on the whole Tara Stiles thing. I’ve calmed down enough now to be able to explain in more detail why I have such an issue with what she (and countless others) are doing in the name of ‘yoga’. That post is a-coming.

There will be another post (also coming soon) titled: “Why it’s actually okay if/when your life falls apart”.

Really!

In the mean time, I’m trying to find a way to bow down graciously in the face of Ma’s (i.e. the universe or whatever you call it!) siren song.

She’s a-coming for me.

Like a big mother bird, she’s firmly but lovingly nudging this little chickling towards the edge of the nest and insisting that I stretch my wings and try flying a little. Whether I like it or not.

As I wrote on Twitter (my favourite place to hang out online) just the other day, right now… I’m living on yoga and Grace. Everything else is completely unknown. And that’s okay by me. Sorta…

~Svasti xo

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Body image issues, yoga & Tara Stiles is a sell-out

29 Sunday Aug 2010

Posted by Svasti in Health & healing, Life Rant, Yoga

≈ 64 Comments

Tags

abundant, anorexia, Asana, BlissChick, cheap shots, Giving, Intimacy, karma yoga, Mark Whitwell, marketing, Meditation, pranayama, Puja, regenerating, Self-esteem, sell out, seva, Slim Calm Sexy Yoga, Swami Satyananda, Tara Stiles, weight loss programs, Yoga, yoga nidra

Here’s the story of a very young girl…

One day, walking home from school this coltish lass felt so good about life and about herself. She thought she was beautiful and felt like a supermodel, convinced that she looked fantastic as she pranced along the sidewalk like it was some kind of fashion runway. It was an excellent ten minutes – the length of her walk home.

Coming in through the back door, she floated to the bathroom mirror to admire her magnificence. And she was heartbroken. There was not a prominent cheekbone or feline feature anywhere in sight. She looked NOTHING like the models in her Dolly and Cleo magazines. NOTHING.

And combined with her blonde and beautiful best friend that all the boys adored, and her brother’s daily taunts about her looks, she spent the rest of her life trying to see herself clearly. Which was difficult, because every time she looked in the mirror the words “not pretty” resonated somewhere in the back of her mind…

This is my story, but it’s also the story of numerous other young girls. From a ridiculously early age our lives are spent being compared to other women – by ourselves, others or both.

Unless we hit the gene-pool jackpot, most women start their lives feeling insecure and “not good enough”. Even then it sometimes isn’t enough! I mean, a girl I went to primary and high school with was pretty, blonde and built like a bird. She was also very good at athletics, competing at a state level. She was very popular, too, and went out with the hottest guy at school. And yet this girl who seemed to have everything STILL didn’t think she was good enough, and ended up with anorexia.

Our culture places so much value on physical appearance, academic or sporting prowess, instead of emotional maturity and openness. As such, many westerners have barely any connection to their bodies. There’s so much living in the head, divorced from the heart. We think too much, we’re reliant on external gratification and live in a highly visual world where beauty is given a very narrow definition.

Finding yoga

It’s no surprise then, that when I found yoga I felt very happy and relieved. Because I discovered yoga wasn’t about how I looked so much as how I felt. How my body and mind connect and who I am when I strip away fleeting things such as labels, my job, and physical appearance. Who am I when I close my eyes to meditate and the visible world melts away? And who are you?

So I practice yoga (including asana, pranayama, meditation, yoga nidra, puja and more) and I feel good about myself, no matter what anyone else thinks. In fact, I find I don’t CARE about what anyone else thinks. Because yoga opens my heart. It connects me to myself and to other people and it’s about LOVE. It doesn’t separate and segregate and it sure as hell isn’t about what size clothes I wear.

Yet still, I struggle on and off with body image/not good enough issues. I did a guest post about such things over on BlissChick’s blog.

Yoga helps me very much with such things, and it gets a little easier every day to look in the mirror and not instantly think I am repulsive looking. Most women have this to contend with in some way or another, no matter how they look.

Earlier this year I was fortunate enough to go to a Mark Whitwell workshop. Fortunate, not just because of the wonderful yoga he has to share, but because he is a dyed in the wool Mother Earth worshipping feminist. He gets it in a way many women never will, and certainly few men.

Mark writes things like this about yoga:

…Yoga is every person’s direct intimacy with reality, an entirely abundant, regenerating, and nurturing power. This is yoga from the heart, for the heart, and it promises health, intimacy, well-being, and joy…

One to one intimacy is as close and as necessary as your breath is to your body. In fact the practice of this inherent union of breath and body allows for the inherent union in all relatedness. It is an utter pleasure and unquestioned continuity with everything. It is Ha tha Yoga, “strength receiving.” Actual and natural, non obsessive practice.

Mark spreads love, positivity, empowerment and damn good yoga around the world. And he gives marvelous hugs. He’s very real and approachable. He makes yoga fun and doable for those who might think it’s not for them.

And then…

Yoga and women get betrayed – by a woman!

There are people out there who call themselves yogis, and take the most external aspects of the practice and market that as a weight loss program like some kind of meal replacement product! Unbelievably, this is being fronted by a woman!

Yes, Tara Stiles, I’m talking about YOU and your Slim Calm Sexy Yoga.

I recommend reading Linda-Sama’s post about Tara’s latest efforts. I agree with Linda whole-heartedly and I find myself enraged by Tara Stiles.

So much so that I wrote this tweet:

Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to discover that Tara had replied to that message with this piece of nonsense:

Wow. Just WOW. My reply to Tara was this (and then a whole lot more!)

I cannot tell you how frightening I find this approach to marketing yoga. Or rather, yoga-like movements that have been called yoga, but have nothing to do with the practice in any way…

Cheap shots. We’re talking cheap shots to the already fragile self-esteem most women have (and let’s face it, this is not being marketed to men!). Fired off by a so-called yogi to get people to buy her book. It makes me sick to my stomach.

I know a BUNCH of accomplished and deeply realised yogis who do NOT have a perfect body. They are not a size 00, and probably never were. You could not call them slim per se, and yet they are happy, wonderful, calm and sexy people. They are yogis with big, huge, juicy hearts and so much wisdom and compassion that you can’t help but feel better from spending time around them.

And we have wonderful men like Mark Whitwell teaching yoga in a way that’s accessible and beautiful, and more than anything, authentic and genuine.

Or brilliant yogis like Swami Satyananda who couldn’t give a flying f#ck about “Slim Calm Sexy Yoga”. Yeah, he was perfectly healthy right up until his death and look at that body! No ripped abs. No bulging biceps!

Then Tara Stiles decides to take advantage of the current fanaticism about weight loss using the name of yoga (but certainly not its philosophies) to line her pockets on the back of other women who already feel crappy about themselves. Nice way to align yourself with the sisterhood, Tara!

And nice way to sell out yoga and degrade its real benefits to those who don’t know any better.

Yoga = love = self-acceptance = giving

Just for once, I’d like to see famous yogis who are right into all this marketing business, using yoga to HELP this world. Help the planet and people in need.

I have no idea why there isn’t already an outpouring of yoga events put on purely as a benefit. I see it at a grassroots level, but not as big as something like Wanderlust for example. Imagine getting lots of wisdom masters to do dharma talks, meditation and asana practice FOR FREE. Yes, free! Anyone heard of a little thing called karma yoga or seva? Let the people pay to come and get the good stuff, and all of the profits GO DIRECTLY TO PEOPLE IN NEED.

Like the communities that lost their livelihood as a result of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Or the Haiti disaster. Or the floods in Pakistan. Or just people who live in your community and are about to be evicted. Or whatever!

Imagine that, can you? I can. Those who came along would benefit from real teachings that aren’t in any way about physical appearance. And the money would go to people who need it. Why? Simply because they are human beings, like everyone else.

Yoga is about GIVING. Not taking. That’s how I get my calm and my sexy. I don’t need no special book and unrealistic promises to deliver that…

**More on this topic by me**

A little less ranty, and a little more rational… 😉

  • Samskaras in samsara – part 1
  • Samskaras in samsara – part 2
  • News from the anti-Slim, Calm, Sexy “Yoga” trenches
  • it’s all yoga, baby’s top 15 yoga posts of 2010

~Svasti

**UPDATE 3rd August 2011** To all the people still reading this topic and leaving indignant comments:
Please look at the date of this post. It was a year ago. My anger about this is long gone, but I still disagree with Tara Stiles’ approach to yoga very much. So do a lot of other people, both yoga teachers and non-yoga teachers. Now, if you wanna call me rude, go ahead. I consider this a highly passionate post, fueled by anger for sure. But not rude. Or unyogic. Of course you’re welcome to your opinions as I am to mine, but no matter what you write in the comments I ain’t gonna change my mind. I’d never do a Tara Stiles yoga class. This woman also runs a highly questionable yoga teacher training program that I’d never do either. So there it is. Go ahead, be a Tara apologist. I won’t stop you. But do remember this topic is over a year old and all of the main players have moved on…

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