Tags
ambrosial enfoldments, beloved, distractions, Dreams, Insomnia, nightly meanderings, ode to zzzzz, Shadow Darling, sleep, twilight
Why hello my darkly velvet beloved; here for me once again? You offer me my dreams made real even as I reject your enticements. Again.
Is this a denial of what must be? For ‘course I daren’t resist such ambrosial enfoldments too long. You wait, wait, wait, wait, slowly stealing a kiss or caress… but then mostly I just enter through a window instead and forgo the welcoming reception you’ve always prepared.
From light to dreams with no in between. Because it’s rare that I come through your door gently, my love. Prose, not poetry I’m afraid.
Oh Shadow Darling, why do your mechanisms seem harsher than they are? The prospect often foreboding, like I’m about to lose it all (though it’s never the case). I race from you til I no longer can… then I’m yours endlessly. Almost. As my reluctant farewell draws me away from your charms and we start our game over again.
Regrettably I fight you, always… Perhaps it’s that you cast shadow puppets in death’s likeness instead your true form: healer, caretaker, guardian and the world’s best lover. Always happy to spoon. And you never snore.
Despite all this you don’t stalk me ever, no matter how difficult I become. No petty jealousies for you! No overt displays of anger. And I never really run. Your patience endlessly awaits my latest childish turn at hide and seek. You never lose. Nor do I.
Here – another pretty distraction! Light and sound. Must. Stay…
I hear tell though, of a twilight field where fraught lovers (like us) find a neutral zone of sorts. A cosy nook where all defences are checked at the door and I can learn. I’m trying my darling, I am…
And it’s not just in obvious ways that I fight you; I’ve two million and twelve distractions to manifest and justify. So many ways to ignore your addictive appeal for moments longer – but senseless, each one of them.
Heavenly love: you speak my name through bones and blood as no other can. But I pretend it wasn’t you at all. Silly girl!
Then my elliptical longings call me to your side anyway. We blend as one, I’m home again. And I entrust you with my dreamscape of nightly meanderings.
Gatekeeper of my inner world. To you my dearest, I surrender.
~Svasti
Svasti: A Journey From Assault To Wholeness 