‘Course, that’s not entirely true. And yet it is. But then, right now I’m either finding it hard to make time to write or I’m really just avoiding it in case I accidentally write something that I’d rather not let slip. Y’know how untethered the connection between the mind and typing fingers can get!
So consider this the highlights reel, and perhaps I’ll get around to filling some of these tidbits out in more detail. Sometime soon. Maybe!
There’s been… lots of anxiety lately. So many potential possibilities floating around, most of them little more than a mirage on closer inspection. I still don’t have a permanent job of any kind, but I have been working. Full-time and quite intensely. I’ve sort of possibly been offered a job where I am, but the work situation isn’t quite right. I can feel it in my bones. Yes, it’s been pointed out to me that the technically unemployed shouldn’t be too choosy. And yet… I’ve been there before. I know where that path leads, and how easily one’s heart can be overcome that way. Which is why I haven’t made any decisions there yet.
Also, unless I manage to land a couple of rather large freelance writing jobs in the next month (or find some other way to make some money), then I won’t be going on the retreat I’m meant to be attending. Even though this is the final year of seven years worth of training. This makes me feel very sad and a bit empty. I’ve missed my yoga family so much, and I haven’t seen my teacher now for two years. Of course I haven’t completely ruled out the possibility that things will somehow turn around. But really, I’ve no idea how that’s gonna happen. If you’ve got any ideas, feel free to let me know!
There’s been a recent encounter with the Parental Unit type people. And heck, if there’s anything I’m not writing about right now, it’s probably that. Hate to come across all angsty and stuff… and I would. Least, if I started writing about it all straightaway. Involving money, tight-lipped wordless denials and semi-conversations that didn’t really get as far as they might, but possibly as far as was practical anyways. Yeah…
Somehow, the volunteer yoga teaching thing has sort of ground to a halt. I mean, with the people just not turning up for the last couple of weeks. Who’d a thunk that giving away your time could be so difficult?!
But then, it looks like I’ll be teaching three paid classes next month, as relief for another teacher. And it’ll be an all-male class, comprised of personal trainers and chiropractors, bright and early in the pre-dawn morning. Am I feeling a little intimidated? Erm… yessss. So I’m going to join them this coming Friday to check out the class (Hatha/Vinyasa style) and assess how I’m going to teach these strong/fit men with limited flexibility. (**Note: This would be a good moment for you other yoga teacher types to chime in with thoughts on teaching all-guy classes**)
And there’s more. Of course. As always. I wish I was a little more disciplined in my writing, just making myself write anyway regardless of what’s going on. I have tried that but sometimes the results are a little pointless, and certainly not fit for blogging.
I’ll be back on track soon I hope. Once I stop feeling all cranky about everything in my life continuing to fall apart around me. Because on the flip side, I actually kinda like it when things fall apart. Call me crazy if you like. It’s all part and parcel of being one of Kali’s own. Well, I generally don’t mind as long as it’s not too inconvenient…
Seeya on the flip side, folks!
~ Svasti xo