How to have an awesome Single Gal’s V-Day

Tags

#IQS, Barista, Coffee, flirting, single girls, Valentine's Day, Yoga

Start early. The earlier the better. Like January. But don’t worry if you can’t start early this year. There’s always next year (in case you happen to be single then).

Face up to your fears (again and again and again) and get some healing and acceptance going in your life (or whatever other words you choose to set sail by for the upcoming year).

Get your good self aligned with those awesome words so they start to seep into every fibre of your being.

Realise that you’re actually really and truly enjoying your new job. The people, the work, the clients. It’s crazy busy there, but the job is a fit for your quirky personality. 

Make a teensy, tiny decision that you’ll allow yourself one cup of (good) coffee a day, Monday to Friday. Search for the best coffee shop near your new workplace. Get to know the baristas.

Notice that all of your hard work is starting to pay off. Physical and emotional healing, strengthening through yoga, giving up sugar. Even when you thought you’d never be able to say such a thing (about it all paying off): it’s true.

Revel in fitting into clothes you haven’t been able to get into for ages, AND be accepting of your body as it is – ill health, extra kilos and all.

Get a little more yoga crazy than ever before. Spend eighteen hours over the weekend before V-Day doing lots and lots of excellent yoga with one of the best teachers in Australia.

Go to work the next day absolutely glowing (or so your workmates tell you).

Plan a very special V-Day yoga class for your students. All about “spinal love”, aka taking care of the spine: learning how to bend through the spine properly; and how to effectively and slowly build core strength.

On V-Day itself, wear one of those dresses you can fit into again (thanks to losing weight from giving up sugar), knowing you have a client meeting. Get compliments from workmates on your ensemble.

Head over for an early morning coffee at the start of the day (it’s gonna be a loooong and busy one at work).

Grab your coffee when the tall, ruggedly cute barista calls your name. Have a very funny interaction with him that goes something like this…

Barista: There you go darlin’. So, were you showered with kisses this morning, like you deserve?

You: Ummmm, perhaps by my cat…

Barista: Well I’d be happy to do it but it might overstep some barista/customer boundaries.

You: Well perhaps I could get my coffee somewhere else then??

Barista: Perhaps you should… 😉

Realise that you can’t remember the last time anyone flirted so brazenly and publicly with you.

Have a massive grin on your face for the rest of the day.

Get changed at the end of the work day, into yoga teacher mode and fabulous shiny pants.

Teach a VERY full yoga class. Watch as your students enjoy the new things they’re learning about their bodies.

Also, tell them the thought that popped into your head the previous week:

It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t love you, as long as YOU love you.

Admit that you’re not sure if you read that somewhere or if it was an original thought. But that it doesn’t matter as long as you really and truly get it, on a cellular level.

On the reverse of our Rainbow Hearts

Talk to your students about how real love starts with:

• Self nurturing
• Self acceptance
• Self respect

Be amazed at how awesome your class was and grateful that you get the chance to spread a little love around in a non-clichéd/commercial V-Day way.

Go home, still smiling about the bold flirting of a Certain Barista.

Discover your neighbour has cooked dinner and saved you some. Because she is awesome. Make tentative plans to have a girls night out with her some time.

Bask in all the love.

Clean the house.

Go to bed, still smiling…

~Svasti

xxx

P.S. Happy V-Day to you all!

P.P.S. See, coffee isn’t entirely bad for you… 😉

No news and #iquitsugar week 3

Tags

Anxiety, As You Like It, blood sugar levels, Christmas, detox, Easter, Father’s Day, gluten denial, guardian angel-type people, Halloween, Hashimoto’s, I Quit Sugar, joblessness, Mother's Day, Shakespeare, sugar, sugar addiction, swings and roundabouts, Thanksgiving, trick or treating, Valentine's Day, worry

An empty street stage in a Melbourne laneway, waits for its actors

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts…

~ Shakespeare, As You Like It

Joblessness

In case you were wondering, the saying “no news is good news” is a crock o’… you-know-what.

Waiting, waiting and waiting to hear back about various leads from recruitment agencies. Sometimes the company withdraws an advertised job for financial reasons, or suddenly they’ve hired someone by other channels. Yet all the recruiters tell me what an amazing skill set I have! Often I’m just not getting a look in. Even with short term jobs that don’t pay as much as I normally get paid, but that I’d be willing to do just to have some cash flow happening.

I like to imagine that the Universe has a hand in this. As in, I won’t be placed in a job if it isn’t good for my health or stress levels etc. Ironically, having no job at all is NOT good for those things either.

It’s a case of swings and roundabouts, as the saying goes.

Then again, being in the thick of an undesirable situation is never as bad as worrying about what might happen if such a thing comes to pass. In the last weeks of my contract role, my belly was very unhappy with all of the anxiety and so (excuse the TMI) I had the runs.

Now I’m all unemployed with no new job lined up, the runs (sorry!) have cleared up. I’m getting a lot more sleep, and taking time to do the things I need to do. So that’s actually nourishing for my health. As long as I keep faith that the Universe will provide, then my stress levels are under control, too.

Plus, I find myself surrounded by lovely guardian angel-type people. Folks I wouldn’t have met had it not been for this blog, yet they are kinder and more giving than my own family.

Two such angels are Nadine and Kerry, whom I’ve talked a lot about recently. Let’s just say they are beautiful people as well as being excellent at what they do. I’m so grateful to have them in my life! Thank you! xxx

Quittin’ sugar, week 3

Last week I was dealing with a box of chocolates that I really didn’t want in my life. Bloody hell. I had some of them.

But the funny thing is that I didn’t want to consume them all like I would have before starting my sugar detox.

In fact I’ve noticed that the less sugar I have, the less I want it all. Very. Interesting.

Today at the supermarket I again noticed an absolute homage to sugar at checkouts, hoping to catch people at a weak moment.

I also really saw for the first time just how much sugar is tied to holiday occasions: Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and birthdays.

You folks in the US also have Thanksgiving and Halloween. I understand there’s even a Thanksgiving dish that involves marshmallows! Let’s not even talk about the diabetes in waiting sugar situation known as trick or treating.

Anyway, like I said before: the less I have, the less I want. Conversely the more sugar I have, the more often I want it. Which is a telltale sign of addiction.

Big business bets on this addiction by including sugar in most of our processed foods. So then those extra treats at the checkout are harder to resist because there’s already plenty of sugar in our body, crying out for the next fix!

I recall certain periods in my life where I HAD to have chocolate every single day. But no longer, because this autoimmune condition of mine does much better when my blood sugar levels are balanced. Too much sugar and my body freaks out!

Honestly, I consider that a blessing.

So this week as part of the detox, I’ve been upping the ratio of good fats in my diet. Things like avocados (which are crazy cheap right now), pumpkin seeds, coconut oil, certain cheeses etc. Unsaturated fats in small doses that quickly sate my appetite and provide much needed nutrients.

In addition, I’m eating more vegetables and organic/free range meat. Plenty of water, coconut water, green tea, tulsi tea and chai.

Basically, it’s all going well and I don’t seem to be missing sugar at all. For now. Apparently it gets harder in a few more weeks…

Also: gluten denial!

Oooh boy. I confess I’ve been majorly in denial about gluten.

Only certain types of food containing gluten cause me real physical grief, specifically things like bread and pizza. In small doses I can handle dumplings (my weakness)…

But gluten is gluten.

Part of me really hates the idea of being all “special needs” with my food and this fuels my occasional rebellion.

However all the reading I’ve done on Hashimoto’s strongly recommends going gluten-free.

So I’ve had a very stern talk with myself: *clears throat* Even if we’re not having an obvious physical reaction to gluten (hello, dumplings that aren’t gluten-free!), that doesn’t mean its okay to eat it. And no, we can’t occasionally have pizza with gluten just because it’s more convenient. That’s dumb-ass, young lady, and we know it’ll hurt! So. Just. Stop.

Sheesh. Sometimes I’m very stubborn about the wrong things.

That’s all for now, y’all.

Oh! I do have a couple of things going on. I’m writing a couple of guest posts, and also maybe doing a bit of freelance work. More updates soon…

~Svasti

P.S. Please do send the Faeries In Charge of Jobs and Abundance over to my house for a spell, okay?

Love, love, love

Tags

Love, Mark Whitwell, monkey mind, rainbow heart, Vajra pride, Valentine's Day, Yoga

A rainbow heart valentine - given out by Nadine at our workshop

On this day of over-hyped super-commercial celebration of romantic love, I’m taking a short break from my current series of posts. Because I need it – I’ve been struggling a little with pulling it all together. And because it’s good to reflect on how far I’ve come since that time in my life, not to mention how far I’ve come in recent years. It’s a lot of work, a great deal of healing but it’s not more than anyone else has to do for themselves.

I honour every person out there in the world coming to terms with their wild and wacky monkey mind, the mind that wounds our Selves as well as others. The mind that makes us believe we are not enough, we are not okay and we are not who or what we should be. I also honour those that haven’t had that battle yet because at some point in our lives, it seems to me that we all come face to face with our inner demons.

It’s hard work facing up to ourselves, being honest about where we’re at and finding the courage to implement changes that release us from negative self-patterns.

So, I honour everyone who lives and breathes and I sincerely hope that one day we all find for ourselves what my guru calls “Vajra” pride or the “essential dignity of being alive”.

Recently Brooks wrote a post about the ways that blogging has enhanced her life and I completely agree with her sentiment!

Case in point: I’ve spent the last two days in the company of some truly fantastic people at a workshop led by the marvellous Mark Whitwell.

This came about because I created this blog and as a result, I’ve made connections with other bloggers. Both Linda and Anthroyogini have mentioned Mark’s book and teachings, as well as Nadine’s blog. This caused me to add Nadine to my RSS, and I’ve been enjoying her posts very much. Of course, she then wrote about her plans to bring Mark to Melbourne for a weekend workshop!

With everything I’d heard from Linda, Anthroyogini and Nadine, my curiosity was peaked. And call it synchronicity, grace or a happy accident but I found myself signing up.

And all I can say is thank god (or whatever force of the universe you can relate to). Mark’s teachings are full of LOVE in a very powerful way. I promise I’ll write more about my experience in a separate post but for now I’d like to share the following with you:

Yoga = (intimacy & interconnectedness of breath + body + mind) = Love

That’s a very neat summary of my realisations for the weekend, and there were LOTS!

In many ways, doing yoga all weekend was the perfect activity for our so-called day of celebration of love. Except it wasn’t commercial, objectified or specifically aimed at one person. It didn’t exclude those who are single (like me), meaning the absence of love and affection – quite the opposite in fact. And we all received a Valentine (see photos), courtesy of Nadine’s inspiration (thank you!).

At the conclusion of 2x six hour days of yoga I feel my heart has cracked wide open (love that feeling), brimming over with love for ALL beings. I also feel much gratitude for Nadine in organising for Mark to be here, and for Mark in sharing his humble, wise and compassionate teachings.

Also, I now feel like I finally know how I’m going to begin to teach yoga – because up until now, I was really feeling a little lost there…

On the reverse of our Rainbow Hearts

Om Shanti, beloved beings!

And happy Valentine’s Day.

~Svasti xoxo

Black Valentine

Tags

1980's, Pool party, Roller skating, Valentine's Day, Young love

Just to be clear: I don’t like Valentine’s Day.

Never have. It’s just another made up event encouraging people to spend, spend, spend.

Plus, I’ve never actually had a good V-Day, even if I’ve been in a relationship. Never. A bit like New Year’s Eve, it’s generally a fizzer, I find…

And if I was at all superstitious (I’m not), I’d probably say I cursed Valentine’s Day for myself, long ago.

Coz the last time it was Friday 13^th before Valentines Day, I was about fifteen and I broke someone’s heart.

Life had moved on since N. Sorta. I mean, still, no one talked about it. I was ashamed of what happened, though I didn’t know why. I muddled along…

And despite my general broken-heartedness, I’d somehow ended up with another boyfriend, T.

He went to my school but I’d never noticed him ’til one of my friends did.

T’s friends were nerds (I was in the ‘weird/outer’ group with links to the nerds and the popular kids), and if it wasn’t for his tall, dark ‘n’ handsome good looks and sporting prowess, he would’ve been considered a nerd, too.

But my friend P noticed him, and I realised – yeah, he is cute. Somehow P and I both got invited to his birthday – a co-ed pool party in his backyard.

We played childish games meant to titillate, as in the pic below… (T is the guy, my friend P is the girl). Getting so close and personal at that age was endless amusement.

And throwing pretty girls in the pool…

And then there was Truth or Dare, played out with a bunch of us in the pool.

T took a dare and was dared to kiss me (guess his friends knew he liked me). Embarrassing, in front of a mixed crowd, but we did kiss… I have no idea why he liked me instead of P (to my mind she was much prettier).

After the party I was wondering… hmm, how to get to see him again? Someone suggested the old ‘scary movie’ trick. Y’know… sit next to the cute guy and lean towards him when things get scary. I invited him to come and see Alien with me.

It worked.

Before long, we were hanging out. Optimistically, he tried to teach me tennis (yeah… ummm… I tried to tell him how clumsy I am). More hanging out at school, after school, playing touch footy, swimming in his pool…

Then, there was a date at the roller-disco skating rink (think 80’s, Nutbush City Limits and Time Warp played without fail) – I borrowed my sister’s zebra stripe singlet and matched it with my denim mini, prompting my parents to label me ‘jail bait’ before I walked out the door (where was their common sense??).

T was gentlemanly to a fault though. We’d only kissed a few times. But that date was sort of our ‘coming out’ to our school mates as a couple. T was bailed up by some guy wanting to know if we’d rooted yet (terrible Aussie slang!).

Sadly, T’s fatal mistake (for our relationship) was relaying that conversation to me. Between the lines, I realised that he was hoping for sex. Not straight away, but at some point. Soonish.

I couldn’t do it.

We’d been going out for a few months, from the end of the year and over most of summer. February was approaching and I was getting more and more worried. Unlike N, T never pressured me. But just the expectation was enough.

He sensed something was up. I wanted to tell him, I did… but I still felt pretty bad about everything that’d happened, and I just couldn’t share it.

So I broke up with him in the playground ’round the corner from both our houses after school. He, with his friend D in tow, and me with my best friend, M. He cried.

He’d been thinking about ‘us’ as a long term thing, while I’d just been trying to get through the day.

His little sister cried too, so I was told when we met up the next day (V-Day), at his insistence. He’d written me a letter, and stubbornly gave me the card he’d made (with his little sister’s help) and a necklace, packaged in a box on which he’d drawn a heart and written Don’t open unless you’re my Valentine.

But I had to open it anyway, feeling guilty and horrible… because he asked me to.

The letter (long since discarded, it made me feel too guilty) said, amongst other things, perhaps it was the force of evil that tore us apart on Friday the 13th, but I’m hoping the power of Valentine’s Day can overcome that and we can get back together.

We didn’t, though. I couldn’t.

T left my high school to go to a private boys’ school – guess his parents thought it gave him a better shot at higher education or something.

I saw him once a couple of years later, working in the local video store for extra cash. He was happy, had a girlfriend.

Somehow I’ve never forgotten him. I see that sweet, brief relationship as an innocent victim of the fall-out from my first boyfriend. Often I’ve wished I could find him (Facebook turns up nothing on T, but plenty of other people I wasn’t friends with at school) to apologise (tho he’s probably long forgotten me by now).

Because I never got to tell him why I’d broken up with him. That it had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with the sad little wounded Self I was carrying around. And that in fact, he’d been a great boyfriend, a really gorgeous boyfriend. Possibly, I’d even felt like he was too good for me.

In the end though, it was the expectation of sex, and my inability to trust him with what I considered my ‘horrible’ story… that caused me to end things inexplicably.

But he never got to hear any of that from me.

~Svasti