The work continues

Tags

Healing, hot water, India, Kinesiology, kinesiology school, standing on one leg, wobble

My Naga Baba friend, Boom Boom. He says hi!

So I’m back from India. Been back a couple of months, actually…

My Indian adventures are still in the process of being written up – some are finished already – but there’s heaps more to come!

I don’t mind telling you that India threw me for a loop. Or perhaps, several endless loops. Basically, it did my head in so much that I haven’t had, or been interested in a full-time job since I returned home.

I’ve this feeling though, that my being thrown for a loop is less about the concrete experiences I had in India, than the intangible ones… the living and breathing the same air as millions upon millions of others (India’s population will overtake China’s by 2028), and being hip-deep in a culture and a place that’s marinated in spiritual discourse for so long that it’s kind of invisible to the general masses.

There’s so much to unpack in my body, mind and spirit about my travels, in addition to my actual personal adventures. And there were so many of those!

I honestly don’t think I can see my whole trip clearly just yet!

But here’s a thing that happened when I got back, and once I was mostly over my Farewell From Ma India Super Duper Evil Illness From The Depths Of Hell (ohmygawdseriously!):

Are you ready for this?

*****drum roll*****

I enrolled in kinesiology school!

I know, right? Who’d a thunk it?

Well, I did. Obviously. I’ve been getting kinesiology (and writing about it) for years now.

It’s been one of the most powerful contributors in my healing process, without a doubt. I tell everyone to go and get kinesiology!

But studying kinesiology myself!! It was one of those ideas that wasn’t obvious until it was already hitting me upside the head with a hardback dictionary.

Svasti! Go get yourself into kinesiology school! Since you love kinesiology so much, you might as well marry it!

Yep, that’s kind of how the thought process went once I was paying attention (hahaha, remember saying things like that as a kid?).

My plan was: go to India and then enroll in kinesiology school when I got home.

I was however, expecting a start date of around June or July and got the surprise of my life when I learned the next course was starting on that Saturday (I called up on the Tuesday); a mere three weeks after my plane touched down.

HOLY SHIVA!

It felt like the stars were aligning. I’d my interview with the principal on the Wednesday and then three days later: I was a student once more.

AND studying something I’m so ding-dang excited about that my entire face (lips, nose and cheeks) literally tingled all of that first weekend. 🙂

The basic qualification for kinesiology is the Certificate IV which finishes in December, and if I choose to I can start working as a kinesiologist when I graduate. Squeeeee!

Then there’s the Diploma (another 1.5 years!!) and my intention at this stage is to enroll in that next year. There’s a further Advanced Diploma I can do and I guess I’ll just have to see how I feel about that at the end of the Diploma.

So far, so good though. Three months on, I’m still loving the studies. A lot. We’re almost half-way through, or we will be after the end of our next study weekend.

BUT… it’s one of those learning environments that’s all about doing the work for yourself, first and foremost.

Kinesiology school is very much a pressure cooker for your “stuff”, and let’s just say I’m currently in a bit of hot water!

So let me tell you a story that’s really a bit of an analogy.

Do you remember when I tore my calf muscle and then re-tore it? Through slow and careful rehab (lots of massage and very gentle yoga), it got better. As did my debilitating autoimmune condition. But it was freakin’ hard work and I had to be super kind and considerate of myself. Which was more challenging than it should’ve been.

But it got mostly better. If I didn’t spend so much time standing on one leg doing balance poses in yoga, I’d never have noticed the slight but distinct wobble my right leg retained despite all the therapy.

That wobble has frustrated me VERY MUCH.

Of course, those who don’t spend much time doing one-legged standing poses would never see that wobble, right?

And that’s kind of what I’m talking about here, except with emotional healing.

Late last year when I was thinking about enrolling in kinesiology school, I asked my two lovely kinesiologists what they thought. I guess what I wanted to know was… had I done enough work? Was I ready for learning to be a kinesiologist myself?

Both those lovely ladies encouraged me, and so I felt confident. And I’ve done SO. MUCH. WORK. For so many years. A huge chunk of that work is documented in all the words I’ve written here.

So I knew I was pretty darn functional and healed and whole once more. Which is awesome, and I want to share those gifts of healing with others. 😀

But going to kinesiology school is the difference between being the person who doesn’t spend much time standing on one leg, and being someone who does.

Suddenly, I noticed there was a “wobble” in my emotional world again. And funnily enough, it was connected to the physical wobble in my right leg. I’m being 100% serious!

And guess what? Now that I’m dealing with that hidden emotional stuff, my right leg wobble is no more. Kinesiology rocks!

And so the work continues. It always does though, doesn’t it? When we’re really honest with ourselves?

I’m being VERY courageous as I work through it, and this time I’m surrounded by a bunch of very caring and supportive people – the teachers and fellow students at my kinesiology school. It makes a hell of a difference.

I’ll share a bit more of what’s been coming up real soon, right here on this blog.

Because this is/always has been a safe place for all of my heaviest “stuff”, and this is some of the heaviest stuff I have.

Thanks as always, for being the small but caring group of readers that still visits this place. Even though I don’t know you all personally, your support is invaluable.

More soon!

~ Svasti x

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Gettin’ down with chaturanga

Tags

ah-ha, anti-chaturanga attitude, bakasana, balancing, chaturanga, force, headstands, lightning strike, Natarajasana, resistance, Shazam, upper body strength, vrksasana, wobble, Yoga, yogi

From the Daily Doodle: http://mydailydoodle.blogspot.com/2011/05/chaturanga-dandasana.html

Monday night’s yoga class included one of those “ah-ha” moments every yogi has from time to time. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing yoga – your body still has things to show you about how to use it best. Two, twelve or twenty years later, it doesn’t matter.

My wee lightning strike was to do with one of my least favourite poses – chaturanga.

Of course, I can’t be sure whether or not I received this instruction once upon a time. Perhaps one of my teachers gave me this tip but if they did, I was too busy focusing on something else to take it in. Or maybe not. I don’t think I’ve noticed too many teachers giving this particular piece of advice.

Who knows? But this insight was an internal moment of oh-my-goddess how come I didn’t get that until now?

Let’s talk about chaturanga a little. It’s a polarising pose, isn’t it?

People can either do it or they can’t. It requires upper body and core strength, and a truckload of patience for those who don’t find it easy.

Men do chaturanga with pride because it’s often a pose they can do well, having spent their teenage years doing push ups and generally having more upper body strength than women.

We gals on the other hand often find it to be one of the most challenging and frustrating poses ever. The upper body and head are heavy parts of the body and I think women have quite a bit of fear attached to hovering their body over the floor.

I suspect the fear is part of the problem. When I took my first beginner’s yoga course, I aced all the poses requiring flexibility but I was “no good” at the ones that needed upper body strength. It’s an attitude I’ve carried with me for years!

Then in some Iyengar classes I did once upon a time, the teacher was obsessed with helping us improve our chaturanga. Which meant that a small section of every class was dedicated to trying and failing. Or trying and falling. More anti-chaturanga attitude!

I blamed my busty-ness. How was I ever supposed to hold my body off the floor with massive… yeah, you know what I mean. I blamed my arms – despite years of kick boxing and swimming and generally being taller and stronger than most women, they were still too weak! I also blamed my (many) left-shoulder injuries.

Whatever. The upshot is that I’ve never been very good at this pose or had a teacher successfully explain how to do it. Yep, I’ve had the cues about making sure your shoulders/head are in front of your arms, not parallel with them. And keeping your elbows tucked into your sides.

But at most, I’ve been able to hold it for a few seconds only. Until now.

The yoga classes I currently attend include a lot of vinyasa-style movement through chaturanga/down-dog and all that jazz. So I’ve been determined to improve my access to this pose, and have been paying particular attention to how I use my body parts.

Which is why I noticed that I’ve been putting too much pressure on my shoulders and not spreading my body weight through my wrists, hands and feet properly. That’s not the insight, but it did help me get there.

Putting too much pressure on your shoulders when one of them is still weak… forces a yogi to look harder. Consider alternatives. Dig deeper. So I did.

Suddenly I’m thinking to myself:

Wait a minute! That opposite forces thing. Heh. Like, how to gain balance in tree pose it isn’t just about standing on one leg, but pressing back up away from the ground. That! Yep, it applies here too. Shazam!!

Okay, that mightn’t make sense if you don’t do a lot of yoga. To translate – in yoga, we work with opposites. So, if there’s force in one direction, then there’s also force in the other. For some poses this comes naturally.

But balancing is generally more challenging. Often, people are so busy trying not to fall over that technique goes out the window. And chaturanga IS a balance pose.

For many years I found tree (vrksasana) a little impossible. It wasn’t until I realised that I wasn’t *just* balancing all of my weight on one leg, that I was able to get it.

From: http://ookaboo.com/o/pictures/picture/25109758/A_group_of_women_demonstrating_Vrksasana

To get the wobble out of my tree, I had to use the ground to reach UP through my standing leg, and all the way up my spine. Every part of your body is involved in balancing, not just the appendage(s) you’re balancing on. Pressing my non-standing leg foot more firmly into my thigh, and reaching with my spine upwards (instead of collapsing downwards) was the answer. It blew my mind.

Monday night, it was blown again when I realised that DOH!, the same thing applies to chaturanga! It’s not just that your body is hovering above the ground. You’re using your body to push back AWAY from the ground, too. It’s a little something called resistance.

Specifically, using your fingers and toes to press down like you’re trying to dig them into the earth, and not just resting them against the ground like lumps of concrete. By pressing down we’re actually pushing back up, if that makes sense. Combine that with tucking your pelvis to engage your core and protect your lower back, and suddenly chaturanga is a VERY different pose.

When I explained this to my own students last night (it really helped them, too), I also asked them to think about how headstand or handstand works. Neither pose is held by simply letting your body weight collapse into the ground. You need to send force/energy in the other direction to maintain them, right?

RIGHT! So all this time I’ve been doing headstands, natarajasana, vrksasana, bakasana and other balances… perhaps it was my mental block/fear around chaturanga, but I hadn’t translated this learning across. Silly girly!

Or rather, “ah-ha”! 😀

~ Svasti

**UPDATE** Y’all should also read Linda’s & Rachel’s comments below about how “yoga is all in the bones”. That is also important when figuring out how to make any pose work for you!