Friendship in reflection #reverb10

Tags

Friendship, hummus recipe, Sevapuri, Twitter, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life, yoga teaching

Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
~ December 16 prompt

Fact: Twitter has a funny habit of enhancing my life.

I know a lot of people say that social media is really more about isolation than bringing people together, but in my case that’s not true. For all those social media-based friends I haven’t met (yet), I’ve a growing list of people I have managed to catch up with.

Right now it’s a short list but it includes Catatonic Kid, Shiv, Nadine, Kerry, Sevapuri, and Desert Book Chick. Plus others I know more specifically from Twitter only. In the near future, I hope to also meet Beckmayyogi, Rachel (on her 2011 tour of Australia), and maybe even Linda-Sama (more about that very soon in another post!).

The honour of this post however, goes to the wonderful and generous Sevapuri. He’s a yoga teacher for Yoga in Daily Life (YIDL) in Sydney and from what I can tell, he’s leading the social media charge for YIDL in Australia!

We initially connected via Twitter after a couple of tweets about the hummus recipe I use, something I picked up at a YIDL cooking workshop a few years ago.

Sevapuri noticed my tweet, and we’ve been Twitter friends ever since. Then, he was planning a trip to Melbourne for some training and suggested we meet up. Through the cold wintery night I navigated unfamiliar trams to make it to our meeting spot, and over a very tasty Indian meal we became fast friends in real life as well! Recently, he and his lovely wife were back in town for a yoga retreat and we met up again.

The way he’s changed my life and perspective on the world this year is by suggesting me to the Melbourne YIDL school as a substitute yoga teacher. This came at a time when I was still quite doubtful about my teaching skills and experience. He said many supportive and encouraging words, and put me in touch with the yogis who run the school down here.

After a meeting with them and a couple of classes to see how they teach, I found myself being asked to teach a class there a few weeks later. It went so incredibly well, and I was elated! It was the first class I’d taught where I felt like I was coming into my own as a teacher.

Then instead of having anything to do with the madness of horse racing in early November, I went to a half-day retreat at Melbourne YIDL. A bit of yoga, meditation and a vegetarian feast! I can’t tell you how much I love the people and the vibe there – they are definitely my kind of yogis.

Shortly afterwards I received an email asking me if I’d be interested in a permanent teaching gig one night a week from February 2011. But before we settled on the details, I was asked to come in and teach another class that one of their head teachers could sit in on. Just to make sure we were all on the same page.

At the end of the class the head teacher said to the students: Svasti will be teaching a beginner yoga class here next year, and I might’ve done a little internal flip-flop of joy.

It’s hard to believe that all of this came about because I sent a tweet or two about a humms recipe, which led to an interstate yogi friendship, which landed me a regular teaching job! But even more so, it was the practical support of an experienced yoga teacher for a fledgling one that was so important to me.

Sevapuri, this one’s for you because you really did give me a hand up when I needed a shot of confidence. Many blessings to you my friend!

~Svasti xo

Gettin’ in the groove

Tags

beginners luck, Big Scary Idea, chanting, Depression, fraud, groove, Heart, in the zone, Meditation, pranayama, PTSD, teacher training, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life, Yoga teacher, yoga teacher groove

Anahata Om Mani Padme Hum - by Gabriela Pomplova

Had quite the magnificent day yesterday. Can you guess why? Well, in part it’s down to some glorious sunshine-y Spring weather and then, uhhh, I’ve been talking an awful lot about yoga lately, haven’t I?

*grins*

Might’ve also mentioned in a recent post that I’ve been having a little trouble fully getting into yoga teacher mode.

Honestly, it’s been quite confronting for me to step up to the front of the room. The practice classes we did in teacher training were very helpful, and then teaching the volunteer classes has considerably increased my comfort level.

BUT it’s important for me to remember that really, this time last year I was still struggling with depression. I’d rather narrowly overcome to desire to end my own life (this is despite being in yoga teacher training!) and it was only around February 2009 that I’d found a release from the torment of PTSD.

Thing is, that some of those patterns of behaviour stuck around even as I started to feel much better. And they’ve been quite difficult to kick. Because I’ve spent the last five or so years trying to make myself small (tough job when you’re as tall as I am!) and invisible. I’ve grown accustomed to not making eye contact, and avoided drawing attention to myself. It’s how I got through all those years of mind-bendingly awful times. It still feels safe to try to be small and unnoticed, you see.

BUT…

As yoga teacher training progressed, it dawned on me (doh!) that I’d have to stand up at the front of the room, having all eyes on me and talk people through a yoga class. I also realised I’d have to make eye contact and possibly even physical contact with people I didn’t know!

So my very first attempts at leading a yoga class were hilarious (in retrospect). My voice wobbled all over the place. I couldn’t think of what to say to help transition someone from one asana to the next.

I felt like a fraud.

Who did I think I was, trying to be a yoga teacher? Such a Big Scary Idea!

The feeling of being a fraud has stayed with me, even though there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary. Sure, I organised my volunteer classes – and believe me it took a LOT of effort to make ’em happen.

But I found myself skimping on preparation time! It was as if I was scared of what it might mean if I was very organised and well-rehearsed. Kinda like I was setting myself up to fail (allowing me to continue to believe I am indeed a fraud!).

Funny thing happened though – somehow I pulled off those under-prepared classes anyway! I still seemed to know what to do and what to say. Of course, because I hadn’t done proper preparation, I told myself that I was still faking it. Perhaps, I’d whisper to myself, I’d just had beginners luck?

Friday night I was terrified as I prepared my lesson plan for Saturday’s class. I started on it late, procrastinating. Which meant I stayed up late to finesse it, making sure I knew exactly what I was doing.

Why all the preparation this time, huh? I was VERY excited to be teaching at Yoga in Daily Life – which is a traditional-style yoga school, akin to my own training. There’s no issue with adding in chanting, meditation or pranayama… that’s just how the school does things anyway (little skip of joy from me!).

There was a small but respectable turn out of five people – one of whom had seen a tweet I’d sent out about the class and came along based on that (cool, eh?).

And there were a few moments in the class where I noticed something… a change in myself. But was it really even a change? It’s hard to say. However, the second I paid attention to it, I almost panicked and lost the yoga teacher groove it seems I’d entered. So I had to relax and let go again… just let it all unfold and stop thinking too much. Just do. Just like with asana.

What happened as a result was this: Some of my students had conditions or injuries they confided in me about. Another asked me a question about the “popping” noise of the joints, which I fluidly replied to. My instructions for asana were smooth, confident sounding and well… a little inspired at times (where DO some of those words come from, eh?). I timed the class very well, and also added five minutes extra on the end to fit in a little more sitting.

The class went VERY, VERY WELL!

As we finished and I chatted to the students, I was amazed as they thanked me for the class. You see, I’m still at the point in my teaching where I feel like thanking them for turning up! Hehehe!

And as I was packing and locking up (after a little impromptu private practice in the empty studio), I found myself both grinning and leaking tears.

I then spent most of the day feeling all joyous and smiley and just… in the zone. What zone is that, anyway??

Well. I think I’ve worked it out… as I taught, my mind wasn’t in charge of the words I was saying… instead, they were flowing from the heart!

This must be something experienced yoga teachers get used to, but I think it was really the very first time for me today. Or at least, the first time I really noticed it and let the flow just do its thing.

I feel so very blessed.

And today I’m going to visit my sweet little nieces. Have a fabulous day everyone!

~Svasti xo

Yoga, Grace and time out

Tags

Asana, bones, Dagnabbit, dancing dust motes, Dyson, fox hole, freelance, Grace, herbs in the window, Lululemon, marmas, mirages, mission-critical, new things, remedial massage, security blanket, Shadow Yoga, substitute teaching, Tara Stiles, time out, Universe, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life, yoga teaching

Just to be a touch more specific (as opposed to my previous post), here’s one of those New Things I hinted at but with a few more details this time.

Well, it’s a new-old thing really: last Friday I finished up a five week stint of freelance work. Originally it was meant to be only two weeks. And when I started at the very end of July, I had several seemingly decent options for more permanent/long term work.

I was even verballed: “We definitely want you, you’re the right person for the job!”

Uh huh.

But as the freelance work was extended, the other offers evaporated in ways most surprising. From one angle they looked very solid and convincing but shifting to the side a little,  seems they were nothing but dancing dust motes glistening in the sunlight. I’d tell you how it all went down but y’know, the upshot is that those so-called possible jobs weren’t real.

It was weird, and not weird. I mean, before going into some of those interviews I KNEW already that they weren’t gonna work out. In one instance, I looked into the face of one of the people interviewing me and thought: This is a very angry man and I wouldn’t care to work for him. In yet another, I realised even as I was doing my best to spruik my skills, I knew I didn’t want to work there.

So what was wrong with these people and places? Probably nothing. I think it has more to do with me (and more on that soon, too)…

Meanwhile, I was totally rocking the freelance job. Possibly because the actual work involved was stuff I’d mastered long ago so it wasn’t challenging. Not that that matters for freelance work, and still, I LOVE making stuff in the digital space. The people were nice, and it was a twenty-minute cycle from my place when the traffic was heavy. Fifteen minutes on a good day!

Even at this job however, there were mirages… people sniffing around to see if they could hire me. The only problem was that the job that was available was the one I was doing for them already. Which means that basically I would’ve been ridiculously bored within a few months. So, not ideal…

Then last Wednesday I was unexpectedly told that Friday would be my last day. They’d found someone for the role who was more “mid-weight” in their experience (and presumably not costing them as much as I did). And that was that… I was out of there. The way of the world in the freelance space!

So I’m once again faced with joblessness. And I know that a couple of you have outrageously suggested that perhaps this is all a sign to move on to a New Path! Yes, yes… I get that! And I get that from the Universe as well, who is being rather persistent in Her attempts to push me towards New Things, too.

Dagnabbit!

So, on top of the substitute teaching I’m doing with the blokey yogis (last week’s class didn’t happen BTW, because too many of them were away but we’re soooo ON for this Friday), I’ve also scored another subbing gig. This is a one-off for now, but in general I’m on their books!

And it’s all thanks to the wonderful Sevapuri (@yidl), who I became friends with via Twitter. We met up a few months back when he was in Melbourne (from Sydney) for dinner and a chat about all things yoga. Recently, he kindly suggested me as a sub to the Melbourne Yoga In Daily Life school.

So last Saturday I sat in on the class I’ll be teaching (a very easy/general level class) and got the run down on turning lights and heaters on and off etc. As it turns out, this week I’ll be teaching a Hatha/Vinyasa blokes class on Friday (very early in the morning!), followed by a super-gentle/traditional Hatha class mid-morning on Saturday. Quite a nice balance really.

And… I do hear you, Universe. I do. I get that I’m meant to do more yoga teaching. BUT I need you to understand that right now, just teaching a few classes here and there isn’t gonna pay my rent. So I’d appreciate a little leeway and I’d ESPECIALLY appreciate a semi-long term/more permanent job in the interim. Yeah?

If we can get that happening, then I promise that I’ll step up my plans for yoga teaching!

In fact, I’ve already started. Last Saturday on my way back from the Yoga In Daily Life school, I dropped in at Lululemon to inquire about running classes there. I’m now on their yoga teacher list!

Also, after thinking about it for months, today I finally took down the number of a church hall round the corner from my place. I’m gonna call them and see what they charge to rent out their space. There’s also a PCYC just down the road from me I’ll be getting in touch with, too.

Truthfully, I’ve been quite afraid of taking on yoga teaching properly. For reasons I might explore in another post sometime!

But then in light of the whole Tara-Stiles-fat-burning-yoga/hey-yoga-is-anything-we-want-it-to-be saga… well, I’m feeling more confident in what I have to offer. I mean, I know there’s this whole new skill I’m learning (called teaching other people!!), but my knowledge of yoga and years of training means that yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve already got something to share.

In some ways I still consider myself a beginner in terms of my yoga studies. Okay, perhaps I’m a little more than a beginner, but there’s still SO MUCH I don’t know! But hey, if something I’ve learned in the past nine or so years can provide inspiration, an opening, some joy etc, to others, then whoohoo!

Right…

I made very good use of today, my first day of not having a job again. I can’t quite believe it, but I did something incredibly domestic (and much needed): took my Dyson vacuum cleaner in for a service. There’s one service center in Melbourne, and it’s only open 9-5 Monday-Friday. Of course! So heck yeah, why not use my time off to sort out such ridiculous things, eh?

Then after a rather mission-critical (i.e. no food in house) grocery shop, I ate lunch at a delightful little cafe near my place, where the above photo was taken. Don’t you just love the herbs in the window? I was drawn to them, and sat at the bench there to eat a most flavoursome minestrone.

For the afternoon, I’d booked a remedial massage for that pesky shoulder of mine. It is getting better BTW, slowly but surely with a combination of yoga, physio, massage, and probably some acupuncture thrown in soon, too. It’s still rather painful, but I’m able to do much more yogasana than I could earlier this year. Which is a win! Things like Catuspadapitham (table top) have been beyond my pain threshold until recently. As has Sarvangasana (shoulder stand) and Chakrasana (wheel) to name but a few. Now these movements are slowly coming back!

And then, oh… more Shadow Yoga this evening. Goodness but I LOVE that practice! Although I haven’t mastered the series yet (ha! suspect mastery is a while off still), I’m quite amazed at how much stronger I am and how much less I fall over/out of the asana. Interestingly though, none of this strength comes from stronger muscles as such… it’s more about the mind and the bones.

Incidentally, Shadow Yoga is only the third time I’ve ever heard anyone talk about moving from the bones in relation to asana. The first person was my Guru. Our retreat in Bali about four years ago was focused on asana and we had many discussions about awareness of and movement from the bones. I don’t think I understood it all properly then! Linda has also spoken about bones, and about her teacher Paul Grilley’s work in the area.

And now with Shadow Yoga, there’s always a discussion on various marmas and bones, as well as the breath (but of course). Actually, it’s probably time I added another Shadow-specific post here…

So that was my day. Basically, I’ve decided to embrace my time out while continuing to look for more work. But in the mean time, I’m also considering how to diversify my income through teaching more yoga classes, freelance writing and who knows what else!

The first time I was out of work for a long period of time was last year and I pretty much fell to pieces (admittedly I WAS still in the deathly grip of depression!). The second time was July. ALL of July really! And I did better then, but still, I spent most of my time holed up in my fox hole. Still a bit afraid and unsure of what to do with myself. This time I’m pretty sure I know what I need to do.

So I am listening, Ma. I am. Just please don’t whip away all of my security blankets/support too quickly! Thanks ever-so-much…

~Svasti

Easy triangle curry puffs

Tags

curry puffs, curry sauce, Easy triangle curry puffs, puff pastry, recipe, triangle curry puffs, Yoga, Yoga In Daily Life

Seems my blog is developing a bit of a sideline in recipes. Which y’know, isn’t a bad thing. Especially if you’re feeling hungry.

Once again, the occasion is the end of term break up party for my yoga teacher training – last weekend.

And I turned once more to the recipe book I scored when I did Yoga in Daily Life’s Spring Detox course a couple of years ago. Still haven’t made all of the recipes, but having people to cook for gives me an excellent excuse!

So… I decided to make the triangle curry puffs – first time ever but it all looked very simple – it was. I also added some cumin seeds for extra flavour.

Triangle curry puffs

Ingredients

• 8 sheets filo or puff pastry
• 1 cup firmly packed grated carrot
• 2 medium potatoes
• ½ cup peas
• 1 medium onion diced
• ½ cup curry sauce (see recipe below this one)
• *Optional* 1 tablespoon cumin seeds (dry roasted)

Method

1. Pre-heat oven to 200°C.
2. Steam potatoes til mushy, then cool and mash. Then mix in all other ingredients.
3. Cut the pastry sheets in half longways with a sharp knife – I suggest doing one at a time while you get used to handling the pastry. Place a spoonful of the filling on one corner then fold pastry and filling to form a triangle. Continue to fold over until all the pastry is used.
4. Then wet edge and stick down to seal (you can also press the edge down with a fork). Place on baking tray and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Makes 16-20 curry puffs.

Curry sauce

Ingredients

• 1 cup unsweetened orange juice
• 1-2 teaspoons curry powder
• 2 teaspoons arrowroot

Method

1. Mix arrowroot, curry powder and a small amount of juice to make a paste.
2. Stir through remaining juice.
3. Place in a small saucepan. Slowly bring to the boil until sauce thickens.

Makes 1 cup.

And that’s about it really. Low mess, low fuss. And lots of tasty curry puff goodness. Enjoy!

~Svasti

Hummus recipe

Tags

Angst, Hummus, Mongol, recipe, Recipes, The Astor, The Wrestler, Yoga In Daily Life

Here’s a little break from the angst, folks. I’m getting just a tad sick of myself (so I’m sure others might be, too)!

Okay, so Anthroyogini requested I post the hummus recipe from my Fun with food & Twitter post… here ’tis!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ingredients

• 1½ cups chickpeas (soaked overnight in cold water)
• Juice of two large lemons
• 1½ teaspoons salt
• ½ teaspoon asafoetida powder (from your Indian grocery store)
• 2/3 cup tahini
• 1 teaspoon cumin seeds
• 2-3 cloves garlic (optional – depends how you like your hummus)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil for garnish (optional)

How to make it

Drain the chickpeas and put them in a large pot with lots of water. Boil for approximately an hour until the chickpeas are very soft.

Fry the cumin seeds over a medium heat on a dry frying pan til aromatic. Don’t over-cook them (seeds get black and smell burnt).

Drain the cooked chickpeas and reserve the water they were cooked in.

Place the chickpeas and all other ingredients (except oil) in a food processor or blender (note: I only have a stick blender and that works fine). Process until smooth (or smooth-ish, I like mine a little textured). Add a little of the reserved cooking water if required to reach desired consistency.

Transfer to a serving bowl and enjoy!

c/o Yoga In Daily Life (I did a cooking workshop with them and came away with a lovely little booklet full of recipes).

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I should say though, this recipe makes a whole bunch of hummus, so I’d suggest halving the ingredients, giving some away to friends or freezing most of it. Unless you’re having a party or two!

If you make it, let me know how it goes, okay? Hope you like it as much as I do.

Right, now I’m off to the Thursday night double feature at the lovely old art deco theatre up the road from me, The Astor. I’m gonna see The Wrestler & Mongol, both movies for $13.

~Svasti