So-called “normal” life makes us sick!

Tags

autoimmune disorders, calm down, do less, Hashimoto's, over-stimulated, over-tired, run on adrenaline, Silence, Slow down, slow yoga, slow yogis, Stress, Yoga

So here I am, second week back from my lovely writing retreat and I’ve come down with the flu.

Bah! Change of season and all of that, but honestly, what I’ve noticed more than anything since my return to the “normal” world is that this world? It really ain’t so normal.

In the middle of the bush, with all of my basic needs met – sleep, food, yoga, meditation, writing and hiking – I can’t express how INCREDIBLY well I felt. Just… brimming with health and vitality.

Everything I did for myself was appropriate to the day and how I felt. If I needed more sleep, I took it. If I wanted a longer/shorter meditation, so be it. Time wasn’t a feature in most of my activities other than remembering to go down the hill for dinner just before it got dark.

And then.

I returned to Melbourne. A biggish city. Well, big enough anyway. The response in my body was immediate. Sluggishness, exhaustion, headaches and generally feeling disinclined to leave the house unless I have to.

That was last week. Now, I’m sick again. Which isn’t so great in some ways but on the other hand, its served to ring the reality bell around how completely unhealthy our western world lifestyle is. And I’m not just talking about people who eat junk food 24/7.

Word is that one of the biggest triggers for autoimmune disorders is our environment. Yep. Exposure toxic chemicals and heavy metals. In our cities and suburbs, we’re saturated in them.

Coming down from the mountain, it’s all the little things I noticed, that seem to add up: traffic and street lights; cars, buses, trucks and planes; too much concrete; pollution; loud noises; unaware people smacking their bag into your arm on the train; working hard and long hours; not resting when we need to; staying up late. Etcetera.

We get stressed, over-tired and over-stimulated. We run on adrenaline (another autoimmune trigger!) and then when we fall over, we wonder why.

Really though, is it such a surprise that so many of us feel sick all the time? That we drag ourselves through our week days and then to make up for having to do a job we don’t love, overdo the fun and exhaust ourselves even further?

That whole routine? It’s nuts.

We need to overhaul our entire way of living. But how?

Well… from my perspective and experience, the answer is the same for everyone.

No matter the current status of your health, we all need to:

SLOW THE HECK DOWN!

Recently, the lovely Rachel wrote about Slow Yoga – something a few of us yoga teacher types have been talking about on Twitter for a while now – which is our way of describing a philosophy towards both yoga and life.

We’ve ripped the term from the “slow food” movement of course, but the principals are the same. Well sorta. From a yoga perspective, we’re saying no to Bikram and don’t believe you get any more benefit from a fast-paced vinyasa “power flow” than you do from working more slowly and calmly.

We “slow yogis” all teach what we like to call “nanna yoga” – each of us in our own style. Of course, in slow yoga you can still work your ass off if you want. But instead of feeling exhausted afterwards, you’ll ideally feel more energized and awake.

And… Sarah Wilson wrote about the need for silence. Holy Shiva, we need more of this. Each and every one of us. Less headphones plugged in to the iPhone with music blaring (and disturbing others around you), more observing the world. Taking time to see (and perhaps photograph) things that move you.

Things that make you feel connected to the world. Without having to blah blah blah all the time, yeah?

Personally I crave silence, and fortunately for me I have my yoga practice which serves as both alone AND silent time. I also try to get as much silence into my day as possible. No radio or TV in the morning while I get ready for work. No TV at all really, unless I’m watching something specific.

So yeah… we can all basically do with slowing down, calming down and doing less. It doesn’t make us weak, lazy or pathetic. Instead, it can be an opportunity to listen to your body. Find out what you really need in order to be well.

And when you’re not well? Pay attention. Not just to getting over your cold, but to what you might be able to change in your life to reduce the levels of stress you face on a daily basis.

~ Svasti

Writing retreat report: I’m back!

Tags

Enter your zip code here, far-far-away, hiking, Meditation, Nature, Snake Gully, writing a book, writing retreat, Yoga

Here I am! Back from my very own Cabin in the Woods (see what I did there? A little Wheedon call out)! Or as we call it here in Australia: the bush.

We probably do have what can be referred to as woods somewhere, but mostly what we have are bushlands.

I had an absolutely MARVELOUS time! Honestly. A long-overdue reunion with very good friends; an eight-sided cabin that had everything I needed, including a kitchen, table to eat/write at, bed, couch to lounge/read/write on, bedroom, bathroom, compost loo and a wrap-around balcony. Plus endless views of bushlands and all their wild and furry residents.

And, an ancient girl dog named Jack.

And… wow, to quote The Castle – you can feel the serenity – waking, walking and living in such an incredibly unspoiled piece of nature brought my body and mind into balance so quickly and completely.

Of course, the first couple of days of my writing retreat I did very little writing. Much of it was about decompressing, catching up on sleep (always needed by AI types), and the aforementioned re-balancing. This wasn’t just a writing retreat – it was also a break for me to relax and rejuvenate my health a little, far-far-awayyyy.

So there was much napping, although never at sunrise. A cabin without curtains with a view to the east means waking up early. Which just felt natural and gentle. Probably because I was often in bed by 9:30pm.

There was much yoga-ing, meditation and chanting (or what I like to call heart singing). Lots of cups of tea and reading books. A few little sessions of note taking. Sleeping. Eating. Talking to my friends over evening meals.

To begin with, there was also lots of fear. And resistance to too much structure. Which reminded me of the deal I struck with myself when I first started blogging: just write. Don’t worry about how good it is or not, just write what needs to be written.

Some writers are perhaps more structured and disciplined. I don’t really know. But for me, the only way to write it is to inhabit it. And the contemplation of what I had to do – go back into some of my not so pleasant experiences – was scaring me even more than trying to write a bloody book plan.

Ha. My book plan is approximately two pages of hand written notes, some of which are drawings for diagrams I want to have designed.

Anyway… the first two days weren’t very productive but eventually I turned that around.

Some mornings I woke up and thinking it was much later than it was. Because even a lie in, some (non-related) reading and the making of food, it’d still be only 9:30am.

I also took some lovely walks, reacquainting myself with the land. My first was down to Snake Gully.

It’s funny how moving your body like that (cross the creek a few times, climb a few hills and over some rocks, then later up a waterfall) can help a person to wake up in the head. Being completely surrounded by nature with no man-made world sounds… there’s lessons to be learnt if you’ll only look and listen.

Which I did. Snake Gully had some things to tell me that I needed for my book. Yep, that’s another post coming soon, too.

I spent a lot of time moving from spot to spot for my writing work. Couch, table, bed. Repeat. It kind of all depended on the day and the subject matter.

There was always more yoga and chanting. One day the weather was so glorious, that there was yoga on the deck.

Eventually I hit my stride with my writing, finally realising that it didn’t matter the order in which order I wrote my book. The first chapter didn’t have to come out first! So I wrote whatever came to mind, for sorting out later.

On Thursday, I got a LOT done. My friends had both gone down the hill for another trip to Albury, so it was just me and Jack the dog, all alone atop the hill. Which is sometimes what you need as a writer: everyone else’s energy out of your immediate vicinity.

Friday morning – end of the trip growing nearer – I was unimpressed to wake up and realise I’d been having a dream about work. Gah!! I guess my sub-conscious was gearing up for the return home, ahead of schedule. Boo.

We had a lot of rain on the Friday; perfect stay-inside writer’s weather. First thing in the morning when I went outside there were some Ruby Roos (my childish name for kangaroos!) just down the hill…

And having felt like I’d done a HEAP the previous day, I slacked off and watched a movie on my laptop, while listening to the wind and the rain and drinking tea.

Making a sweet potato, bacon and veggie stir fry…

Cutting more wood…

And a little writing. But mostly I was waiting for the end of the day because I was going down the hill WOO HOO! My friend and I were going to one of the local pubs for some dinner and a bit of fun on the “town”.

Finally, it was going home day. Still almost a full day here on the hill. I did everything slowly: yoga, walking, wood chopping, cooking, eating, writing, and writing.

The book is a goodly way along the track, but far from finished yet. There’s more to finesse and probably a truckload of editing, and that’s before I let anyone else see it. Then there’ll be feedback from people I trust, more editing, designing and eventually a finished product.

So much excitement. And there’s more writing retreat-related posts to come. Quite a few, actually!

~ Svasti

Other posts inspired by my retreat

• An ode to Snake Gully
• Writing a book is a topsy-turvy thing
• Life lessons from managing a fireplace
• Waterfalls sound like the Universe
• I’m off on a writing retreat!

I’m off on a writing retreat!

Tags

Albury, Awayyyy, bushland, Charlotte Almond, ebook, faeries, kangaroos, koalas, lizards, nature sprites, PTSD, snakes, tea sipping, Trauma, wombats, Writing, writing retreat, Yoga

See this?

This gorgeous, rustic building is up a hill (accessible via 4WD only), in the middle of nowhere-ville. Okay, so it’s actually a few hours east of Albury.

Wild animals (wombats, snakes, lizards, koalas, kangaroos etc) live there. So do faeries and nature sprites (for realz, I’ve encountered them before!).

For ages and ages, I’ve been trying to get at least one book out of my head. Y’see, there’s a couple of ‘em living up there at the moment… but it’s not always easy to do that kind of work when you’re distracted by your crazy busy everyday life.

A while back, The Divine Ms N sent out an email to her Yoga Mafia (read: newsletter subscribers!) with a super-generous offer from one of her contacts – a limited number of exceptionally affordable life coaching sessions.

Soon as I saw the offer I jumped right on it. JUMPED, I tell you. Because as I’ve alluded to already, there’s a few Really Big (Positive) Things going on for me. It’s all quite exciting and overwhelming, and I knew this offer of life coaching sessions had my name all over it.

Which is how I came to meet Charlotte Almond, who is an extremely lovely and canny lady. I can highly recommend her services, and will write more about her soon enough.

Together we worked through some of my Really Big Things, but also, laid down some powerful and practical steps I could take towards my Excellently Awesome Future Life Plans.

One of those steps is writing my ebook! It’ll be practical advice for those who are trying to recover from PTSD/trauma. Because trauma’s a bitch, recovery is freakin’ tough AND there really isn’t enough out there by folks who’ve been through it all.

And I can write this now, since I’m no longer in trauma myself!

However, to really be able to write down the bones of it all, I need to get outta town. Awayyyyy from my hectic job. Awayyyy from my home, which is comfortably hermit-like and filled with books I like to read etc etc. Awayyyyy even, from the internet and Facebook and Twitter (*ahem* says the digital media addict).

Anyhow, I was hunting for a place to get awayyyyy to. And I’d sort of forgotten that my friends (whom I haven’t seen in years) have this retreat space on their beautiful virgin bushland property. Up a hill in the middle of nowhere.

It was only when I posted a Facebook status asking for recommendations of cheap get-away places that my friends said, Ummmm, what about our place?

DOH!

Maybe because it’d been so many years between visits (I don’t have a car now and their place really is in the middle of nowhere), I simply didn’t think it was polite to ask. Also, I suppose there’s a part of me that’s become so used to being self-sufficient that I’m not accustomed to people being this generous with me. Even when they are, a lot. I don’t expect it, I guess.

However in a subsequent phone call, I was told very plainly that I don’t even need to call ahead. Just turn up. There’s always a place for me.

Wow, right? I have some awesome friends.

So I’ll be away for the next week. Living in an octagon-shaped room with a view of nothing but trees and enveloped in the sounds of nature. Doing yoga, eating whole foods, drinking copious amounts of tea and writing like a woman on a mission. Which I am.

Have to confess that I’m a touch nervous about it all, because writing this book will require some digging and re-visiting. But I’m strong and well now, and it’s all for a good cause. There might, however, be vomit. And tears.

When I return, there’ll be a mountain of editing to do. Then finding a designer to make it look pretty, and putting it all together. But how exciting to crow-bar all those words from my over-crowded brain, huh?

Also: a lil Spring clean!

So in case you’re looking at this post in an RSS reader or via email, I’ve just neatened up the blog. In the southern hemisphere, we’re on the verge of Spring, so a spring clean is appropriate: I’ve applied a fresh new template, tidied up my left hand column and so on. I’m loving the new look!

Enjoy your week, and I’ll check in on the flip side.

Wishing you all lots of creative inspiration!

~Svasti xxx

Other posts inspired by my retreat

• Writing retreat report: I’m back!
• An ode to Snake Gully
• Writing a book is a topsy-turvy thing
• Life lessons from managing a fireplace
• Waterfalls sound like the Universe

Yoga Nidra + a giveaway!

Tags

Annandale Yoga, Anxiety, deep relaxations, Depression, free stuff, give away, guided meditation, Meditation, reducing stress, rest, self-love, Sevadevi, Sevapuri, Stress, Swami Satyananda, Yoga, yoga geek, yoga nidra

You guys! Have you ever heard of, or practiced Yoga Nidra before?

If not, then you’re totally missing out.

Yoga..wha? Is what most people say when they hear of Yoga Nidra for the first time. So don’t be embarrassed, you’re far from alone.

The fact is, Yoga Nidra is one of the bestest, most good for you things you can do with your eyes shut while remaining awake. I can’t think of *too* many other things you can say that about, right? ;)

Anyway, let me tell you more about it…

First of all I have to say – I LOVE Yoga Nidra! As much as I love big warm hugs and snuggling under a blankie. Maybe more.

I mean, this stuff is a top shelf relaxation technique, people. It’s also an act of self-love that you can do for yourself every day and it will yield results. That’s a promise.

So what is it again, I hear you ask?

Okay. Yoga Nidra is a guided meditation you do while lying down and its considered to be more rejuvenative than sleep! OR if you’re having trouble sleeping then it will either help you get to sleep (which is okay, too) or provide you with a wakeful-yet-restive alternative to feeling miserable about your insomnia.

Yoga Nidra is also excellent for reducing stress, depression, anxiety and generally making you feel better about life.

I wrote a little about Swami Satyananda – the founder of Yoga Nidra – a couple of years back when he passed away.

If you’re a yoga geek then I also recommend reading his book on the topic, too.

About the give-away

It was via the happy accident of blogging and tweeting about hummus, that I first came to know of the lovely Sevapuri and his wife Sevadevi.

We don’t talk a great deal, but we’ve met in person a couple of times and Sevapuri is always around on Twitter, where we regularly exchange messages.

Both Sevapuri and Sevadevi are lovely souls and personally I’m jealous of all the kirtan they have going on in Sydney!

Anyway, Sevapuri and Sevadevi now run Annandale Yoga, and the first I was aware of Sevadevi’s Yoga Nidra recording was a direct message on Twitter offering me a copy. Because that’s just the kind of people that they are.

Of course being beautiful and generous souls, not one but THREE copies arrived in my letterbox. I gave one to my neighbour (the wonderful person who made me food when I was really sick last year – she really needs some chill time right now)… and I thought I’d give the copy away here.

Just to keep paying forward the generosity and the love!

I’ve trialled Sevadevi’s CD of course. It contains a short and a long Yoga Nidra practice (23 and 32 minutes respectively), as well as a beautiful Heart Meditation that you can do in a pinch, anytime/anywhere.

Its all about creating a bit of space and calmness in your life…

As a bonus: Sevadevi has a gorgeous velvety voice that you’ll never get tired of listening to.

This is a quality Yoga Nidra and meditation CD, and YOU could be the lucky winner of a copy!

Be in it to win it!

It’s very simple. Anyone can enter, anywhere in the world.

To enter: Leave a comment below sharing your favourite thing to do to unwind and/or re-connect with the world when you’re feeling crappy.

Bonus entry: Share this give-away on Twitter or Facebook and let me know you’ve done so in the comments below.

The mission being to raise awareness of Yoga Nidra and get more people curious to give it a try!

Entries close: Friday 15th June

Lots of love to y’all.

~Svasti xxx

Tall tales and lessons from the mattress

Tags

mattresses, Procrastination, sore back, tall tales, Truth, Yoga

Oh, I used to tell myself, I’ve always had a bit of a sore lower back.

Yep, I’d nod to myself, it must be this whole getting older that’s causing me to wake up most mornings with a sore back. On those days, I’d just better jump out of bed and into a yoga pose or two. That’ll fix it! (It does, of course)

For sure, I’d remark to my reflection in the mirror, I’m not sleeping so well and that’s because of stress/Hashimoto’s/my sore back.

Uh huh.

Tall tales, people. We tell ourselves all kinds of things that we’re sure we know are the truth, right?

But we can be mistaken.

Two Saturdays ago, I woke up with an aching back (again), determined to do something I’d failed to do for the past THREE YEARS: go and buy a new mattress to replace my 12+ years old one.

There’d been dozens of reasons that I’d put it off.

Like… Mattresses are expensive, after all. My current one is okay, isn’t it? I don’t have time. I don’t have the money. I’ll just put up with the one I’ve got a little longer…!!!

Until two Saturdays ago. I charged into a mattress store, determined to find a solution even though I still didn’t really have a lot of money to throw around.

I lay down on a few different styles until I made contact with one that made me proclaim: well, this is different!

And I discovered that the store had one of those interest free payment plan deals (cheaper than whacking it on your credit card!).

Within twenty minutes, I’d bought a new mattress. Finally. After years of procrastination.

A week later, it was delivered.

The very next morning?

I woke up without a sore back for the first time in F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

I also noticed that I’d woken up a few times during the night. Not because I was uncomfortable; it’s just that I was used to having to re-position myself to get comfortable  over and over again throughout the night. I’ll have to re-train myself not to do that any more!

Guess what? This habit borne of discomfort, was disturbing my sleep!

Since then, I’ve been spending as much quality time as I can in my new bed, almost crying in relief at the difference it’s making to my life.

That place where I rest my body and mind for eight hours a day? It is now Awesome to the Power of 100.

And the lessons I learned from my new mattress (which can also apply to almost any life circumstances/situation) are as follows:

• It was well worth the effort to track down a quality new bed.
• Amazingly, finance options that work for you are usually available these days if you can’t pay cash.
• Stuff that’s happening in your life that you think is being caused by certain things – that might not be true and you don’t even know because you haven’t looked hard enough.
• It’s worthwhile refreshing/renewing/shaking up all of the important things in your life, on a regular basis.

This also brings to mind the time when I really, really needed help with PTSD. I sort of knew I needed help, but I didn’t know what kind and I was hesitant to find out because I thought I couldn’t afford it. So I just didn’t get any for years. In the end, this was not to my benefit.

Then, when I was getting sick last year and falling into a horrible depression, I told myself it was “just” PTSD re-surfacing. But in fact, what was going on was that I was physically ill with an out of control auto-immune disorder that was wreaking havoc in my body.

Some things, they just aren’t meant to be skimped on.

Like a really good supportive mattress, or your physical/mental/emotional health.

And there’s always a way to get what you need, but you’ve gotta get out there and investigate the options!

On that note, I’m pretty sure it’s time for me to once again marvel at the wonders of my amazing new bed. :)

Wishing you joyful states of rest and the right kind of care for your body and mind.

~Svasti

xx

How to have an awesome Single Gal’s V-Day

Tags

#IQS, Barista, Coffee, flirting, single girls, Valentine's Day, Yoga

Start early. The earlier the better. Like January. But don’t worry if you can’t start early this year. There’s always next year (in case you happen to be single then).

Face up to your fears (again and again and again) and get some healing and acceptance going in your life (or whatever other words you choose to set sail by for the upcoming year).

Get your good self aligned with those awesome words so they start to seep into every fibre of your being.

Realise that you’re actually really and truly enjoying your new job. The people, the work, the clients. It’s crazy busy there, but the job is a fit for your quirky personality. 

Make a teensy, tiny decision that you’ll allow yourself one cup of (good) coffee a day, Monday to Friday. Search for the best coffee shop near your new workplace. Get to know the baristas.

Notice that all of your hard work is starting to pay off. Physical and emotional healing, strengthening through yoga, giving up sugar. Even when you thought you’d never be able to say such a thing (about it all paying off): it’s true.

Revel in fitting into clothes you haven’t been able to get into for ages, AND be accepting of your body as it is – ill health, extra kilos and all.

Get a little more yoga crazy than ever before. Spend eighteen hours over the weekend before V-Day doing lots and lots of excellent yoga with one of the best teachers in Australia.

Go to work the next day absolutely glowing (or so your workmates tell you).

Plan a very special V-Day yoga class for your students. All about “spinal love”, aka taking care of the spine: learning how to bend through the spine properly; and how to effectively and slowly build core strength.

On V-Day itself, wear one of those dresses you can fit into again (thanks to losing weight from giving up sugar), knowing you have a client meeting. Get compliments from workmates on your ensemble.

Head over for an early morning coffee at the start of the day (it’s gonna be a loooong and busy one at work).

Grab your coffee when the tall, ruggedly cute barista calls your name. Have a very funny interaction with him that goes something like this…

Barista: There you go darlin’. So, were you showered with kisses this morning, like you deserve?

You: Ummmm, perhaps by my cat…

Barista: Well I’d be happy to do it but it might overstep some barista/customer boundaries.

You: Well perhaps I could get my coffee somewhere else then??

Barista: Perhaps you should… ;)

Realise that you can’t remember the last time anyone flirted so brazenly and publicly with you.

Have a massive grin on your face for the rest of the day.

Get changed at the end of the work day, into yoga teacher mode and fabulous shiny pants.

Teach a VERY full yoga class. Watch as your students enjoy the new things they’re learning about their bodies.

Also, tell them the thought that popped into your head the previous week:

It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t love you, as long as YOU love you.

Admit that you’re not sure if you read that somewhere or if it was an original thought. But that it doesn’t matter as long as you really and truly get it, on a cellular level.

On the reverse of our Rainbow Hearts

Talk to your students about how real love starts with:

• Self nurturing
• Self acceptance
• Self respect

Be amazed at how awesome your class was and grateful that you get the chance to spread a little love around in a non-clichéd/commercial V-Day way.

Go home, still smiling about the bold flirting of a Certain Barista.

Discover your neighbour has cooked dinner and saved you some. Because she is awesome. Make tentative plans to have a girls night out with her some time.

Bask in all the love.

Clean the house.

Go to bed, still smiling…

~Svasti

xxx

P.S. Happy V-Day to you all!

P.P.S. See, coffee isn’t entirely bad for you… ;)

Review: Two words for a powerful year workshop

Tags

2012, goals, Nadine Fawell, New Year's resolutions, Plans, resolutions, Yoga, yoga workshop

Well, says Nadine (aka The Divine Ms N) almost doubtfully, I hope you got something out of today.

As much as she claims to be the Queen of Unsubtlety, here’s this beautiful yogi with her mellifluous South African accent, sounding unsure of the magic she’s just enabled for a room full of women.

*Ahem* DID I get something out of Nadine’s workshop? Errrmmmm… f#ck yes I did!

The premise was to find two words to set your intentions for the year, instead of making a mountain of resolutions or intentions.

The idea was that we’d work it out via a bit of story-telling, laughter, inappropriate jokes, and a process of self-inquiry Nadine had written down in a workbook for everyone. This was to be interspersed with a bit of yoga, food and relaxation and eventually, we’d all find the words that would sing out to us.

Words that represented how we want 2012 to go: things we need, want or are challenged by.

To be honest, I signed up for this workshop when I was still in the Land of Overwhelm.

I’ve been a wee bit terrified of the coming year – will it be another round of physical, mental, emotional or financial disaster? The worry about such things was the cause of much unexpressed anxiety.

So I signed up thinking fark, I’d better get as much help as I can for myself in starting things off right and bloody well hope and pray it all turns out… better. Better than the last six years in every way.

I am ready for better. Very ready.

Even though Nadine had emailed us earlier in the week with some question prompts, I really hadn’t thought about what my words might be.

But funnily enough, as we got started with our first session of yoga one of my words just… *POPPED* into my mind. Okay, cool.

It makes perfect sense for me, yes?

I’d still no idea what the other one would be, however.

We then started talking with each other, reading our workbooks and writing, just to get the thought processes moving (I’d bought my extra-shiny glitter gel pens to inspire me!).

Nadine started passing around some food (stating that she can’t concentrate if she’s hungry!), and we all either kept the word brainstorming going and/or tucked in to the nibbles – whatever worked for each of us.

A bit of tea, a few nuts and muffins (although no muffins for me!), some chatting with other participants and I still didn’t have my second word.

Until I did.

Just by… I don’t know, standing there and listening to other people talk. Suddenly it was glaringly apparent and I was hot-footing it back to my yoga mat, attempting to write down that darn word – because until then I simply hadn’t written anything like it in my workbook!

Which I didn’t do without some serious face-pulling, like I’d been eating too many lemons!

Whoah. I REALLY didn’t want to have to face that one but there it was, staring me in the face.

Acceptance.

GAH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MIGHT MEAN??!!

The last thing I thought I wanted was to work on accepting myself, my life and where I’m at but apparently that’s what I need this year. I mean, can’t we put that shizz off til much later? Next life, perhaps? ;)

But… too late. Like the ringing of a bell, it was blatantly clear that like it or not, for me 2012 is the year to get into some acceptance (grumble grumble bloody bloomin’ heck!).

Once everyone had their word(s), next up was investigating exactly what those words might mean for us.

Here’s a short summary of mine:

Healing

• Getting my thyroid and body back into balance.
• Regaining normal iron levels and other blood work tests.
• Hopefully being able to get off thyroid medication and manage my health by diet and yoga/kinesiology/acupuncture alone.
• Finding the right doctor/naturopath to help me achieve these goals.
• Continuing my kinesiology sessions.
• Getting enough sleep, eating the right foods and staying away from the wrong foods.
• Feeling full of energy once again.
• Finding my ideal body weight.
• And… when I’m ready, being able to remove the impenetrable protective bubble that still surrounds my heart. To truly let love in once again.

Acceptance

• Being honest with myself about ALL the things I don’t accept about myself right now.
• Finding ways to accept the things I currently reject: physical appearance; what I’ve been through; what I think I’ve “missed out on” as a result of having PTSD; the things I want in my life that I don’t have; parts of my personality I don’t like; my current lifestyle; not living/doing the things I really want to be doing; my health…
• Understanding that acceptance of all of these things isn’t about giving up. Rather, it’s about not wasting energy fighting things I can’t change.
• Embracing self-love in all aspects of my life, and being happy and joyful within myself!

Nadine asked us to think of a yoga pose(s) that embodies the essence of our words for us, and then wove them into our second yoga session.

Interestingly, there were a LOT of mentions of warrior and tree pose, as a many people had words like balance, stability and openness.

The intention of the second yoga session was to seal the words we’d each chosen into our bodies and minds.

We began with a simple meditation on our words, inhaling and exhaling them like a mantra. Playing around with which word felt right for the inhale and which for the exhale [inhale: Healing / exhale: Acceptance].

This time the practice was a little stronger than our first session, and we carried our words with us as we moved and breathed.

How do your words feel with this pose, asked Nadine, as she left us in each pose for a while to ponder.

Finally, we finished with another meditation. Allowing our words to steep and settle in to the sub-conscious and anywhere else they’re needed.

Like all Nadine events, there was lots of laughter and light-heartedness. But ultimately, it was an elegant and thoughtful process of getting to the Stuff That Matters for each person.

That’s most definitely what happened for me!

So yes, Nadine. I got PLENTY out of your sweet little workshop. And it’s something I think you should run on a yearly basis because I’m sure there are lots of folks out there who’d love to learn this simple but powerful method of organising oneself for the coming year.

~Svasti xo

P.S. You can read Nadine’s two words and Kerry’s two words as well. Yay!

P.P.S. You can also join the Two Words Project on Facebook, if you’d like to join in the fun.

Lessons from Bali

Tags

abundance, alone time, Bali, bleeding heart, Cafe Lotus, can't always get what you want, Celestine Prophecy, coincidences, Generosity, lessons, new friend, pragmatism, Ubud, Yoga

In some ways, I didn’t get what I was hoping for from my trip.

Don’t get me wrong – going to Bali for my birthday was awesome.

But I’ve since worked out that mostly, what I really wanted was some alone time.

Instead, on my first full day there I found a new friend. Perhaps… I got what I needed instead?

She’d also arrived the day before, from England. We were staying at the same guest house and met over breakfast. How classically clichéd! The more we talked, the more we realised how much we had in common. Fancy that.

Both there to do yoga. Both had the same camera, and similar back-story as to why we had this cheap and cheerful new piece of tech. Both with similar ideas about our trip. We did a couple of things together on purpose, but would then run into each other out and about in Ubud.

Before long we were planning activities together – yoga classes, sightseeing, massages, and my new friend even joined my birthday celebrations (a half-day tour and then later, dinner in Ubud at Cafe Lotus).

It could’ve all been very single white female, and yet it wasn’t. She’s super-nice. :)

Having recently re-read The Celestine Prophecy (which my travel buddy actually had with her on the trip!), I started to wonder about the myriad of “coincidences” that brought us into each other’s world.

Rather more prosaically, she claimed that of course we’d end up in the same place and liking the same things. I didn’t quite agree – we could’ve easily disliked each other, a mutual love of yoga or no.

Like I’ve written already, I don’t really believe in coincidences.

So I stayed open to finding out what sort of lessons we could learn from each other.

For me it was… that I’m an ultimate bleeding heart. Which I really knew anyway, of course. But I still need to create a few boundaries for myself (doh!) in order not to be a complete push-over when my heart gets involved.

Going to places like Bali and Thailand are especially challenging for people like me, because I want to help everyone I see.

Even though I don’t have huge amounts of money, I go to Bali and I’m perceived as rich. This is particularly hard for me to deal with. So I tip a lot and don’t haggle much when shopping.

Hanging with my new friend taught me a little more pragmatism. This is something I’m going to need when I eventually get to India, I’m sure.

For her… and perhaps this is slightly presumptuous, but I think she learned a little more about generosity. By her own admission, she’s “tight” with her money. She was often bug eyed about my tipping habits, and furious at local scams to try and separate us from even more of our hard-earned.

So one night over dinner, I explained why I do what I do – my personal philosophy on abundance. The lessons I learned while being unemployed while doing my yoga teacher training, and how that changed my views on giving.

How I used to be stingy, but now I see money as energy. Something we can exchange, and how that keeps the flow energy moving around the world.

That we don’t create abundance by holding onto everything we’ve got as tightly as possible, but by sharing and showing loving kindness to others.

That trusting in abundance enabled me to be supported by lovely people, find a job before Christmas and still go to Bali, when I’d expecteded things to be tight.

I think… we balanced each other out a little. And it was nice.

There’s more – I learned a lot from the yoga classes I went to as well. I’m still reflecting about those lessons, so look for another post some time soon.

But the alone time I craved? Didn’t really happen as much as I needed.

You’d think that for someone who lives alone anyway and doesn’t do heaps and heaps of socialising, that wouldn’t be a problem.

Still, I’d like to be away from my usual environment. Somewhere beautiful and isolated where I can really get stuck into my writing.

I did get some writing in whilst in Bali, but not enough. However, my holiday certainly revived my creative inspiration!

So anyway… looks like that’ll have to happen another time soon. Maybe a weekend escape in early 2012?

For now, I’m happy that I made a new friend and (re-)learned a few more life lessons.

~ Svasti

Bali…

Tags

asuras, Bali, flow, imperfectness, jungle, monkeys, Motorbikes, motorcycles, Offerings, sacred, Sacred Monkey Forest, scooters, temples, Ubud, Yoga

Is where the sacred comes hand-in-hand with treacherous and undulating footpaths dotted with gappy loose-hinged drains.

Walkways are covered in Hindu offerings for luck and abundance, animal excrement, the bodies of dead creatures (most likely road kill), trash, incense and a never-ending parade of men offering innumerable variations of:
Hey-lllooooowwww Madaaammmm! Taxi, yeeesssss? Tomorrow, yeeesssss?

Road rage and road rules seem to be minimal, though. Scooters and motorbikes outnumber cars, trucks and buses in some parts of town and weave in between each other alarmingly. Right/wrong side of the road be damned.

There’s plenty of horn tooting but its aggression-less. More – hello, do you see me – rather than – f#&k you!!

Between one and four people ride on two-wheeled vehicles, often with at least one rider glued to a mobile phone. Sometimes it’s the driver. Or one or two people carrying over-sized cargo: water flagons, bushels of coconuts, building materials. Occasionally the goods are bigger than the bike. And yet… there are relatively few bike accidents.

To me, Bali looks like unadulterated life. In the west, we like all the Ugly and Broken Things to be hidden. We pretend that everything is perfect by creating the illusion of order. In Bali almost every man-made object shows signs of decay.

Street cleaning is undertaken by shop-owners with hand-made switches, perhaps woven from palm or coconut trees. The never-ending run of downpours washes everything else away in the end.

Westerners flock to the island for yoga, partying and diving, but you won’t find many locals indulging in such recreations. I love Bali furiously, even with its bad smells and over-zealous touts and yet… I’m somewhat uncomfortable that most of the things I’m doing there are unattainable for many of Bali’s residents.

Five years after my first visit, Bali is doing somewhat better economically-speaking. Back then, so soon after the terrorist bombings tourists were sparse and businesses were desperate.

Now, there’s free wi-fi almost everywhere but much less honesty in commercial interactions. I’m pretty sure that the tourist prices have gone up considerably. You need to put some effort into bargaining in order not to be completely ripped off. Yet… things are still relatively cheap, although the price between what you’d pay at home and in Bali has narrowed. So it’s hard – for me anyway – to haggle too much.

Despite all of this, Bali is a place where stillness can be found. Where waking up before dawn comes naturally to me and where ducks can be observed in the rice paddies (they eat the rice paddy pests!).

The overwhelming heat and humidity also teach me to move and act more naturally – do a little bit and then rest. Move then rest. Eat then rest. Etc.

Nature has not been corralled into neat little concrete boxes as it has in the west. The jungle still rules, and barely tolerates any attempt at civilisation.

Occasionally, wild things happen there, too.

Like visiting the Sacred Monkey Forest and interacting with knee-high grey monkeys with their little hands that tug on your pants to demand another banana. All business-like. The signs warn not to touch the little cuties although what can be done when a curious one curls up next to you while you sit on a low stone wall? Even though you’ve no bananas left (he’s checked), he still hangs with you.

And then mind-blowingly, he uses your left knee as a perch. Tail swinging. In some ways, it’s almost like having a cat sitting there except it’s NOT anything like a cat.

It’s a wild monkey.

In Bali.

It’s magical. Even if you’re too stunned/laughing too hard to get a photo. Memories like that don’t fade.

Every home has its own temple, as well as public temples on every other street corner. Right along with the dogs.

You can also visit said sacred temples only to be lambasted by touts pretending to be temple workers. Lying to you about the access that your entry ticket allows you without a “local guide”.

The temple is sacred but apparently you’re fair game.

This is not so magical unless you allow for the magic anyway.

But it is the nature of Everything Not Being Perfect.

You can get angry about it or you can go with the flow.

The flow is always easier.

~ Svasti

A yogic Christmas gift

Tags

beginners yoga, chill out, please enjoy, Yoga, yogic Christmas gift

In Australia at least, the last yoga classes of the year tend to have fewer and fewer people turning up. Do I blame Christmas with all the parties and the shopping frenzy? Or Summer, with people going on holidays? Perhaps it’s both.

Anyway, both my last class as a student AND my last teaching for the year both happened this week.

There were four of us in the class I go to as a student. Something my teacher said (and often says) as we started our lovely, visually-led only (to music) class was: Please enjoy. I do.

I had two students show up, but I didn’t care. Or rather, I did. Because I had something of a Christmas present for my students. In yogic style, it was a gift of words, not things, and it was based those four words my teacher likes to say: Please enjoy. I do.

At the moment I mostly teach beginners. You know, those of the stiff joints, uneven breathing, furrowed brow and squished up faces (from either concentration or discomfort). The stiffness releases over time, the breath smooths with pranayama, but the furrows and the squishiness are more to do with the mind than the body.

Hearing my teacher ask us to “Please enjoy”, prompted me to wonder once more what it’s like to be a beginner to yoga again. What are these students of mine going through exactly? Do they enjoy their classes? I mean, some of them keep coming back so I guess they do but… what’s going on for them?

How much do my students enjoy their yoga classes?

Of course, asking myself this meant that I also asked my students. All two of them this week!

The responses were varied. One student just LOVES coming to classes, despite having ME. In fact, her ME is helped greatly by yoga. The other student still has quite limited movement in his body so he currently finds yoga a bit painful. But he still comes back.

I asked each of them how much time they spend each class concentrating, feeling overly serious (despite my endless line up of bad jokes), and beating themselves up about how their poses look or feel…

Versus finding joy in what they are doing. Savouring the moments of peace, calm and spaciousness – even if they are only happening a moment at a time.

As I talked, I watched their facial expressions change, from which I gathered they do the beating up of themselves more than the finding enjoyment.

So I asked that for this class and in as many as they could from now on, to take this gift of words and use it to remind them to find enjoyment in their practice. Even if it’s only in savasana. Find something that they can fully enjoy to balance out all of the attitude they give themselves!

To let go of the negatives, the super-concentration and find a bit of bliss from moving your body and breathing.

Then I gave them a couple of poses in class that we haven’t done before and still asked them to relax and let go.

And I extend this gift to you – of remembering to chill the heck out in your practice.

Please enjoy. I do.

~Svasti