Continued: working without a net

Tags

Anxiety, belly relaxed, bliss, breathing smooth, Depression, don't look down, heart open, hecticness, I trust in abundance, I trust myself, I trust the Universe, muse, PTSD, Self-Alignment Kit, working without a net, world of impermanence, Writing, yogAttitude cards

Meditate. Be bliss. There's a lesson in that for all of us...

This is just a quick post to say hi, really. Well, and a couple of other things.

First of all

Suzanne, who won the give-away of Nadine’s wonderful yogAttitude cards has seemingly gone AWOL. So I’m on the verge of re-drawing the prize!

Suzanne, I’ve sent you three emails and left a comment on your blog. No reply! If I don’t hear from you very soon, I’ll re-draw a winner from the other entries (no new entries, just to be fair!).

So please get in touch by Friday 4th November if you would still like to receive your prize, as I need a postal address. After that, I will draw another winner.

Secondly

I’ll be doing a review very soon of Kerry’s Self-Alignment Kit. I think I’m gonna try it this weekend, on account of the fourth point of this post (below).

Also: if you’re interested in Kerry’s kit, hang about for the review because there’ll be a discount code for readers of this blog!

Thirdly

Things are crazy-hectic for me right now at work. The last few months we’ve been working on a H-U-G-E project – a whole bunch of websites that’ll be going live, hopefully this weekend. New branding, a new content management system, new content. It’s been absolutely massive and there’s been so much to do. Insane.

Which has meant no time to finish some of the posts I’m writing. Stuff I really want to get done!

Fourthly (is that even a word?)

This is the working without a net thingy.

In 2008 I left the world of stable, full-time employment. At the time, I was going on a long retreat in the wilds of north-east Thailand. It was a massive turning point for me.

Earlier that year, I’d finally gotten my butt into therapy and was formally diagnosed with PTSD. It was the beginning of my healing journey, and leaving my job was a part of that. I’d been in the same job for 4.5 years and most of that time I also had PTSD. So I’d been trying to hold down a high-performance job while being pretty dysfunctional. I’d also had the misfortune of telling my bosses what had happened to me, and having them use that as a means to bully me. I was burned out.

After retreat and coming back to Australia, I haven’t had a permanent job. Well, none that has lasted anyway. There’ve been a couple of periods of unemployment and lots of contract work.

Simultaneously, I’ve worked my ass off to heal PTSD, anxiety and depression. Which I’ve done, although it hasn’t been easy. I’m still working on healing myself – now it’s my body that needs support and love, while it too, processes the aftershocks of everything my mind and soul have been through.

Integral to all this healing has been learning to really trust myself and my place in this universe – as big or small as that place might be. The first time I found myself unemployed, it was terrifying. I made a whole bunch of decisions at that time that I’d do quite differently now.

All of this short term contract work hasn’t exactly been easy when you have hair-trigger anxiety, either. It’s basically like facing unemployment on a semi-regular basis, never quite sure where or when the next job is coming.

If I’m not careful, such things can cause crazy-excessive-heart-thudding and concrete-heavy-belly feelings.

Even though I have my own, I can't help but stop to talk to other kitties I meet. Such things help me keep life relaxed and calm.

Which is where trust comes in. You see, I’ve found that if I let my fear and anxiety rule the playground, my world gets very small. In such a small world, it’s much harder to get my needs met. So I need to stay open and relaxed.

With the end of the big project I’ve been working on, my current contract is due to end in just under three weeks and I don’t have another job to go to yet.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s been a flurry of recruiters calling me, but so far none of those conversations has turned into anything concrete. I even went for an interview and everything looked good but there have been some issues at that company with getting the job “signed off”. Yep.

So I talk and pray to the Universe daily. I keep my belly relaxed (as much as possible), my breathing smooth and my heart open (which is what I ask my yoga students to do – just walking the talk).

I keep thinking that perhaps I’m just missing whatever lesson the Universe is trying to teach me. Or maybe this is just a constant reminder that nothing is permanent, and now that I’m open to that, my world looks entirely impermanent all of the time?

I’m not sure to be honest. But one lesson I have really learned is that when working without a net, you simply don’t look down.

Clichéd perhaps, but true.

Fifthly (ditto re: existence of word)

I now have two books that I need to write.

The first one is my children’s book. It’s totally buzzing around my brain, showing me new characters and scenarios. Whenever I’ve read about authors talking about their characters coming to life, I didn’t really understand what they meant. Until now.

Must. Write. Book!

The second one is actually Nadine’s fault (said with a grin!). We caught up a few weeks back and had a rambly natter about all kinds of things – yoga, healing, trauma etc.

At one point she said something like: Well, that’s some wisdom you’ve gained there. What are you going to do with that?

I was all, ummmm….?

But the Muse strikes at the oddest of times, doesn’t She? Tuesday night I was walking to the school where I teach yoga every week and She whispered: Write an e-book about what you’ve learned in recovering from PTSD, depression and anxiety.

Oh dang! Before I’d reached my destination, several chapters had laid themselves out for me.

So… I guess I’m writing that one, too.

~ Svasti

Give-away winner!!

Tags

give away, yogAttitude cards

I know, I know… it’s been AGES. I’ve been slack. I’ve been busy. I’ve been… well, not attached to my computer so much.

Anyway, I finally drew the winner for my give-away tonight. So exciting!

I got a little carried away and made a very dodgy video to show you the drawing. Just to keep things legit and all.

To add to the fun, you also get to hear my voice as well as observe my rather unprofessional iPhone video camera skills. Even though I now own an actual video camera, I haven’t had time to learn to use it yet. So the iPhone video it was.

Final bonus: there’s a special guest star cameo from Miss Cleo the Cat.

Without further ado…

(Note: the still showing is a bit of a red herring!)

Hooray and CONGRATS!!

Wanna know who won? Well, you have to watch the video to find out! 😉

I’ll be in touch with the winner to get a postal address soon. I really, really hope you enjoy Nadine’s yogAttitude cards. They’re so much fun.

~Svasti

Half a millennium of blogging + a give-away

Tags

500 posts, give away, Half a century, Healing, milestones, yogAttitude cards

The post you’re eyeballing RIGHT NOW is my 500^th

Whoah! That’s a lot of words. My wee blog has now been around for over three years and my post rate has varied considerably, depending on what’s going on with my life.

Every time I write a post, WordPress tells me what number it is. Given my current stop-start posting rate, #500 has been coquettishly just out of reach for a little while now. The flirt!

That’s probably because 2011 has been absolutely full to the brim with health challenges, as well as seemingly endless physical/emotional healing and all kinds of personal insights. Stuff that’s mostly been way too hard to write about. However as always, I try to share what I can.

Sometimes it’s hard though, even for Ms-Heart-On-Her-Sleeve-Svasti.

A few of my readers say things like: Wow you’re so brave in what you share.

Hmmm, really? You should see the stuff that DOESN’T make it to the blog! There’s been a lot of that lately.

But here I am. Yikes!

When I think about where I was when I first started blogging… well, you can track my progress if you care to venture into the archives.

To put it bluntly, I was a mess. But a mess with a purpose! I can’t tell you how amazed I am by the difference between how I was back then – a PTSD basket case – and now.

Blogging has been absolutely integral to my healing process. Which means that you all out there have been, too.

Here’s just a (very) short summary of the stuff I’ve achieved and/or learned along the way:

• I’m not dead! I didn’t kill myself although there were a few times where it was kind of a close shave. I know now that I actually WANT to live!
• I didn’t become a drug addict or an alcoholic. I reckon living with crazy amounts of physical or emotional pain can easily do that to a person. If I didn’t have yoga, writing and therapies (of all kinds), it could’ve happened to me.
• I freakin’ KICKED my PTSD and depression in the ass. Repeatedly. I’ll never forget the first time I thought I was all healed, only to discover that was just wave one and I was actually standing in the ocean…
• There’s been more ups and downs in this journey than I could’ve imagined. I don’t for one minute think it’s over yet, but it IS a different journey now. I’m way more healed and whole than I ever could’ve imagined. Which blows my mind.
• Pain is not compartmentalised and neither is healing. So, you can’t just heal from one incident in your past – if you open that bag of worms, you’re probably gonna be dealing with all kinds of things. Even stuff you could’ve sworn you were over already…
• Facing down your demons, and being pain-stakingly honest about them all (with yourself) is totally worth it.

To celebrate, I present my first ever give-away!!

In my 499^th post, I reviewed my friend Nadine’s yogAttitude cards.

Did you read the review? Frack, I really LOVE what she’s done there!

For one super-lucky person, I have 1x set of yogAttitude cards + workbook to give away. Whoohoo!

It’s my way of saying thanks for reading and being a part of my bloggy world. 😉

This give-away is open to everyone, no matter where you are. As long as the postal address is somewhere on planet earth, okay?

To throw your hat in the ring, simply leave a comment below.

Optional: In your comment, tell me about a milestone in your own life that’s totally taken you by surprise. As in…

Wowzers, how did I EVER manage to do THAT?!
I AMAZE MYSELF WITH MY AWESOMENESS!!

It could be about some kind of healing, an inner-realisation, overcoming a fear or phobia, learning a new language, climbing Mount Everest, going sky-diving – whatever!

Just something that makes your toes curl in glee when you think about it, if you know what I mean.

Entries close on Friday 30^th September 2011. So hop to it, lovely people!!

~ Svasti

xxx

***EDIT: Yeah I know… I blame the brain fog. I originally titled this post “Half a century of blogging…”, but I’m sure you all knew what I meant!!***

Review: yogAttitude cards

Tags

affirmation, attitude, bhava, Emotions, Feelings, intuitive, Nadine Fawell, review, spontaneity, Yoga, yoga in my pocket, yogAttitude cards

You guys! The brave and delightful Nadine Fawell has created something truly awesome: yogAttitude cards!!

And I feel like a total lucky duck for having the opportunity to test drive and review them for y’all.

Full disclosure: I was given a pre-release copy of the cards and workbook.

But holy-moly, I totally LOVE them and would buy them in a heart beat!

I’ve got a bunch of things to tell you about Nadine’s yogAttitude cards, so get ready for a walk-through of my test drive…

So what are yogAttitude cards anyway?

Well, there’s two kinds of cards in the box – those that show Nadine doing a yoga pose, and then all those Attitudes! All up, there’s 50 cards in the box – 25 poses and 25 Attitudes.

Adorably, they’re elegantly compact and come in a very cute wee box, so you can take them with you anywhere, including on holidays!

The cards are accompanied by a digital workbook (PDF format) which has bigger photos of all of the poses as well as beautiful descriptions of each Attitude (things like: accepting, nurturing, passionate, faithful etc).

How do you use them?

It doesn’t matter how experienced/inexperienced a yogi you are, yogAttitude cards can add a little magic to your practice!

In the workbook, Nadine lists some suggestions around how to use the cards. This is actually where the fun comes in!

Here’s a screen grab from the workbook of just a couple of Nadine’s suggestions:

Personally, I use them a bit like affirmation cards. As in, I make a pile of the pose cards and another one with the Attitudes. Then I intuitively choose an Attitude to go with 1-4 pose cards. Or however many I feel like.

Once I’ve gotten over the synchronicity (doh!) of whatever has turned up, I rearrange the cards into a sequence I like.

Then I repeat the process, so there are maybe three or four sets of cards, creating a group of sequences for me to practice.

I read what the workbook says about the Attitude and start practicing, all the while generating that bhava (feeling/attitude) towards myself and the particular pose I’m doing.

Why do I like them so much?

• I downright LOVE the idea of intuitively choosing a yoga pose in the way I might do with an affirmation or tarot card. It really speaks to the sense of “what do I need in my practice today”?
• People take yoga too seriously! In the classes I teach, I pay attention to the faces of my students. I’m always asking them to relax their face, to smile, to laugh… because too often their expression looks like they’re constipated! 😉
  Y’all, this is just NOT what we’re meant to be doing with yoga! Getting in touch with various attitudes and generating that feeling while in various poses is fantastic. Especially if it’s a pose you normally associate more closely with torture or swear words than say, kindness or wisdom.
• Because the selection of poses is so random, I might find myself practicing a sequence I don’t do often/wouldn’t have thought of myself.
  We all get stuck a bit in the way we’ve been trained or taught, right?
  For example: placing half-moon pose after triangle pose isn’t something I do all the time. So the cards are freeing up my idea of sequencing, yeah!
• Besides how easy it is to pop them in your bag, I love the size of the cards for another reason. In some cases, they only show parts of the pose Nadine is doing.
  So instead of very strict instructions about what a pose should/shouldn’t be, it’s left up to you to figure it out, all the while bringing FEELING into your practice.
• yogAttitude cards provide you with suggestions, but overall leave your practice up to you. Personally I sometimes find using yoga DVDs a little overwhelming. They aren’t working to my pace unless I get the remote out and hit pause. Plus, I don’t always want to follow the same sequence and the cards allow me to tailor my practice to suit how I’m feeling.
• I can choose to do a short practice or a longer one – it all depends on the number of cards I select.
• Change your mood and change your day – that’s basically it, isn’t it? I read something once that said simply the act of putting a smile on your face can affect your mood and brain chemistry. So, try practicing a little calmness or groundedness and see what happens…
• I don’t ever want my yoga practice to ever be something I do by rote, like a chore. Nadine’s cards are a light-handed reminder to keep life, feeling and spontaneity in my yoga. Hooray!

Yay, a discount!

yogAttitude cards are pretty darn affordable, but for a limited time, Nadine is offering a 10% discount.

Because she’s generous like that.

Just head over to her shop and use the code LAUNCHPARTY at checkout to get your very own inspirational pocket yoga practice.

It comes with peacock feathers on the box! 😉

Thank you

Oh, wise and gorgeous Nadine, many thanks for allowing me to review your yogAttitude cards.

I really and truly think they’re brilliant and I’ll probably end up buying them as a gift for a few people. In fact, they’d make an awesome Christmas/Yule or birthday present.

Now I can truly say I’ve got yoga in my pocket. Yay!

~ Svasti

xxx